by T. S. Ryder
When Sanjay moved to her neck, Dimitri took her mouth again. Both of them kissing her, sandwiched between their bodies, had every inch of her glowing. A moan escaped from her throat, causing her two men to chuckle. Her eyes were half-closed as she tilted her head back–and saw the sky.
"Wait," she gasped as one set of hands cupped her bottom and the other began caressing her breasts. "Wait. Everybody can see."
"So?" Sanjay asked, his voice vibrating into her neck. "Haven't you noticed couples squirreled away in nooks and crannies, giving into their bodily desires?"
"No. And even if I did, they were at least trying to conceal themselves. We're right out in the open, I can't do this when people might be watching. What if they take pictures?"
Dimitri groaned, stepped back. Audrey almost whimpered from the loss of his body close to hers. She took the opportunity to detangle herself from Sanjay, though and combed her fingers through her hair. Her heart was hammering, her mouth dry, her body trembling with desire.
"You can't change my mind by kissing me," she said, putting a trembling hand to her chest. "I'm not choosing between you."
Except at that moment, Audrey knew she had made her choice. She wasn't going to choose between them. It was both. It had always been both, as much as she wanted to deny it. She looked between them, eyes wide, not knowing what to say or do now. It couldn't possibly work. Could it?
"Do you mean it?" Sanjay said, brows furrowed.
"Mean what?"
"You won't choose between us because you want both of us."
"I didn't say that." Audrey felt sick. She was unprepared for this. The inevitable truth was that no relationship she had lasted. She couldn't put these two through that pain. And if they were the ones to decide they didn't want her? It would destroy her. No, she had to stick to her guns and deny them both. "I can't give up my life for you. Either of you."
"What about both of us?" Dimitri asked, his gaze intent. "You asked me what drew me to you. Your scent was a huge factor. As soon as I smelled you, I wanted you."
"Back to the smell again."
"It's not the only reason I want you. I was as drawn to your insistence that you wanted me only, and then your resistance to giving into me, and your willingness to face lawsuits to get your story, and not just for your own means. You have a moral code that I find very attractive. And…" He glanced at Sanjay. "When I realized the shifter had claimed you, I knew you were the right choice."
Audrey's jaw dropped. "You chose me because Sanjay had already chosen me?"
Dimitri spread his hands. "I thought that if there was one woman that could give me what I wanted out of this, it was you. I didn't invite shifters just for the sake of inviting shifters. With groups like the Fist of Humanity out there, we need to stand together."
Audrey shivered at the reminder of the murdered woman.
"I hoped to find a woman that I would fight for–but would insist, as you are, that there will be no fighting. The only way shifters and vampires are going to get along is if I set the example first. Sharing a mate with a well-known shifter was the best way to do that."
"What?"
"You always intended on sharing her with me?" Sanjay asked, brow raised.
"I hoped to."
"But you were so jealous and possessive," Audrey protested weakly. "When you found Sanjay and me in my room, you were all ready to attack him on the spot."
"I know. I reacted differently than I intended. I won't say that I'm not a little jealous, but the more time us three have spent together, the more I find that I enjoy the dynamics."
"You should have said something before." Sanjay frowned. "Although if you had said that when we first met, I would have torn out your throat. But for Audrey… Well, I think it will work."
"You're serious. You're both serious."
"You said it yourself. We get along when we're not fighting over you."
Audrey swallowed hard. "But… but I can't… "
They both moved closer but she pushed them away. There was a heavy pressure in her chest that made it difficult to breathe. She wanted them to just leave. This wasn't even worth thinking of. Was it?
"This is all so confusing. I didn't come here for a mate, and I've never considered two men before. And it's all moving so fast, and I don't know if what I feel is just lust."
And what if what they were feeling was just lust, and in the end they decided they didn't want her? Nobody ever wanted her, not really. Even her parents hadn't wanted her.
Sanjay brushed his fingers over her cheekbone. "You don't have to decide now. But I think that fight is completely off the table now."
He glanced at Dimitri. The king nodded. "We won't fight. And if you feel like there is too much pressure on you, then remember you have the rest of the month to decide."
"It's not going to be enough."
"Then maybe we should just give into lust right now." Sanjay stepped closer. "You know, give you some incentive to choose us."
Audrey opened her mouth but closed it. It was a bad idea to do this, wasn't it? Even if her body was screaming at her to just give in. Even if her heart was telling her that there was no need to choose, that these two would take love her like no person had done before.
But how would it even work?
"We should discuss what would happen if I did decide to mate the two of you," she whispered. "What the dynamics would be. What everybody would expect. You're a shifter. You're a king. I'm a reporter. Would it even work for the three of us? Sanjay, you said that shifters don't do well in stone walls. Will you just give up your life to come live here? Dimitri, you have duties to your people. You can't leave."
"And your job," Dimitri added with a nod.
"I can write anywhere, I don’t have to stay doing the type of stories I'm working on now, but if we're always separate, how can we be really together? What about the children? It's not fair to them to shuffle them around, or for them to be without a mother while I'm off with one or the other."
"We'll make it work." Dimitri brushed his lips against hers, Sanjay coming to her other side. "You're overthinking this. We're not asking for you to decide right now."
"No, you're just asking for sex. But my head is too muddled. I can't think clearly when I'm around you two. Yes, I want sex, but right now I think it means more for you than it does for me."
She pulled away from both the shifter and the vampire. Until now there was always that part of her that was able to hold back because she knew that they were going to fight for her, and she couldn’t accept that. But now that they'd blindsided her by agreeing that they could share her, and her own newly realization that it was what she wanted…
It felt like her lungs were collapsing. She couldn’t breathe.
As she turned and walked away from the vampire and shifter who both wanted to be her mates, she realized that there was only one thing to do. She had to leave. Run away, where these confusing desires and feelings wouldn't be clawing at her.
It was the only chance she had. If she stayed, hormones would take over again. She couldn't make this decision based on lust.
There was too much at stake.
Chapter Seven
Audrey stuffed her notebooks and papers into her laptop case, shoving in the laptop itself last. Panic beat against her chest. It was the same panic that she always felt when things were going too fast with any of her boyfriends. When they bought her diamond jewelry or talked about introducing her to their parents, or worse, said the dreaded three-word phrase. When she knew she was going to break their hearts just by being who she was.
Was leaving the right option? Or would that only make things worse?
They don't know me. How can they want me when they don't know me? And how can I stop myself from hurting them if they really do want me?
When a little voice in the back of her mind tried to tell her that she wanted them to know her and that they would never know her if she ran away, she shoved it away. The fact remained that they wanted more
than what she was willing to give.
Do they really? They have outright stated they'll share me. Why can't I give them a trial period, to see if it will work? I could finally have a life outside of my job.
Audrey slung the laptop bag over her shoulder. She'd leave the rest of this stuff. She didn't need it. Her head was spinning like it did when she stayed awake for forty-eight hours on a dare in university. Only sleeping wouldn't resolve this.
I just need space. This isn't like all the other times I've run away from boyfriends. I just need to figure out what's in my own mind.
A couple of women were talking outside her door. Audrey paused just inside her door. She recognized one of their voices and didn't want to have to answer any awkward questions. Even though her eyes were dry, her distress would be plain to see for everybody.
"I heard that another woman who was part of the selections last year has gone missing. How long is it going to be before it's one of us?"
"My cousin sent me an article that said the woman that was killed wanted to break off with the vampire she was seeing. Do you think they'll kill us if we don't find mates?"
The first woman scoffed. "I doubt it."
"But what if it's true?"
The voices faded, and Audrey took the opportunity to slip out of the room. She practically ran to the lot where all the vehicles were being stored. Dimitri and Sanjay hadn't told her anything about more women going missing. And this nonsense that it was the vampires was laughable.
Her hands trembled as she slid into her car. But she had made her choice. She wasn't going to change her mind. Emotions couldn't be trusted, and right now she was far too emotional to think clearly. Once she was a day or two away from the palace, she would know what to do.
Hopefully.
***
She had only been home half an hour before Tiana phoned her, asking about the last interview she sent in. Or more specifically, why there was nothing about the murder in it. It took Audrey hours to convince her the interview was from before the murder, and that she didn't have any insider information about the investigation.
A stress headache was pounding through her head, so Audrey ran up a bath and sprinkled in some peppermint oil. She was just about to undress when her door opened. Audrey screamed, grabbing the nearest item–a hairbrush–and chucking it at the intruders. Dimitri caught it with a startled expression.
Audrey pressed her hands to her face as Sanjay peered over the king's shoulder. "What are you two doing here?"
"You left without saying anything," Dimitri said. "We thought something was wrong."
"And so you break into my apartment?"
Sanjay answered. "The door was unlocked."
Audrey cringed. She was always forgetting to lock her door. "I didn't think you'd follow me. I thought it was for the best."
"Why?" Dimitri narrowed his eyes. "We told you that we wouldn't fight each other. We said that we'd make it work for the three of us. I'm willing to put in that work, I'm willing to do whatever I need to in order to make sure that it works between us. And it's not just political. I've never been drawn to a woman like this before. And as far as the shifter goes…"
He and Sanjay eyed one another.
"I like him more than I thought I would," the Liger offered. "I don't think it would be a hardship for me to share you with him."
"I left because of this." She gestured wildly between the two of them. "Because you say you'll share me, but why would you do that for me? The only thing I'm remotely good at is my job. Maybe I could be happy with the both of you. But I don't want hurt you. And I don't want you to hurt me."
"We would never hurt you."
"But I still might hurt you."
"You did hurt us. You just left." Sanjay's shoulders slumped. "If you need space, we can give it to you."
Audrey wasn't sure what she wanted to hear. If they were angry, it would give her a reason to just kick them out and not have to worry about her conflicted feelings anymore. But they weren't angry. Dimitri was nodding in agreement, and they both looked so concerned for her that all the reasons why she fled disappeared. She just wanted to be close to them, wanted them to hold her in their arms.
"I'm sorry. This is who I am."
"No. This is who you think you are. You're so much more than the person you see yourself as."
Audrey's lip wobbled. She threw her arms around Sanjay's neck, lifting herself up his body to kiss him. His hands cupped her thighs, holding her in place as he kissed her back. The feel of their bodies together had her gasping for breath, and the feeling only increased when Dimitri pressed himself behind her and kissed her neck.
"Wait," the vampire king murmured. He pressed a hand to Sanjay's chest, pushing him away from Audrey's willing mouth. "If you're already overwhelmed, are you certain you want to do this?"
As if Sanjay's concern wasn't enough. Audrey actually laughed her heart became so light. They wanted her. And more than that, they wanted her to be happy.
"Yes," she whispered. "I want you. I want both of you. No more running. No more drowning myself in work. Just living my life."
Sanjay kissed her neck. "Where's your bedroom?"
Audrey pointed, and the shifter carried her down the hall. Dimitri skirted past them and opened the door for them. Sanjay put her on the bed and grinned.
"Have you ever done this before?" Audrey asked breathlessly. She looked at the two men with wide eyes.
Neither answered, just smirked. Dimitri pulled her shirt up over her head as Sanjay removed her pants. For an instant, she was caught by the desire to curl into a ball and hide from them, but then their hands began costing over her body. She was soon lost in the sensations that they evoked in her. Her eyes slid shut, a simmering fire glowing where skin touched skin.
"Hold her," Dimitri ordered.
"How many times—"
"Please."
Audrey giggled into her arm as Sanjay shrugged and slid behind her. His arms circled her waist, pinning her elbows to her sides. He nuzzled into her neck as Dimitri kissed down her belly. He pushed apart her thighs, and Sanjay trapped them under his own. Audrey knew why as soon as Dimitri moved lower. A feeling like a coiled snake built in her belly and she thrashed from side to side, crying out. Heat rose in her chest and neck.
It was better than anything she had experienced with her boyfriends before. Everything blacked out around her and she was lost in the pleasure, only aware of snatches around her. Sanjay's breath on her neck. Dimitri whispering that she tasted as good as she smelled. Sounds of zippers coming undone, Sanjay shifting her from side to side as he removed his clothing.
Dimitri stopped just short of her climax. Audrey lay still, gasping for breath, clinging to Sanjay's arms around her.
"I get her first," Sanjay said. "Since you got her to this point it's only fair."
"I don't know. She's still a little tight and let's face it. You're bigger than me." Dimitri winked at Audrey. "It might be more comfortable for her if you were second."
"Or we could have her at once."
Audrey's heart spiked. As amazing as this experience already was, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to take that. Not yet, at least. She shook her head. "I can't. It's been years since I last had sex, and I've never had anal sex. Maybe in the future we can try that, but not today. Did you bring condoms?"
"I brought one," Dimitri said.
"I didn't." Sanjay brushed her hair from her face. "But shifters aren't carriers for STDs. Neither are vampires."
Audrey shook her head. "Like I said, I haven't had sex in years. I'm not on birth control. I don't want to get pregnant like this. Children are special and precious. I don't want mine to ever think that they were an accident."
Sanjay sighed in disappointment. "I understand. Can I at least use your mouth?"
Her eyes closed. She imagined the two moving in perfect rhythm while she took them in at either end and couldn’t suppress a moan. Her men took that as all the consent they needed and quickly mo
ved her onto her hands and knees. Sanjay brushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled at her while Dimitri entered, causing her to moan in delight. He started a brisk pace, holding her in place with his hands firmly on her hips. Sanjay waited a moment before encouraging her to open her mouth.
She loved the sensation of having both men inside her, moving in unison on opposite ends. The pleasure was already blinding her, and she was glad to have their voices in her ears, telling her exactly what to do. Soon all three were grunting and moaning with pleasure. Audrey braced herself as her whole body began trembling. Any moment now…
Something snapped deep inside her and her body turned to jelly. She collapsed onto the bed, unable to hold herself up any longer. She was hardly aware of the twin groans somewhere above her as her two men also found their completion. Her eyes slid shut.
I could have this for the rest of my life.
She grinned.
I am going to have this for the rest of my life.
***
The shower was hardly big enough for the three of them, but Audrey didn't care. She felt calmer than she had in what seemed like her whole lifetime. Who knew she just needed a couple of non-humans to claim her as their mate to make her feel worthy of love?
"Will you come back to the palace with us?" Dimitri asked.
"Not tonight. I have to go to work in the morning and deal with some stuff. But I'll be back tomorrow."
Sanjay kissed the top of her head. "I don't suppose we can stay the night."
Audrey's body began to sizzle again. "I need to sleep. With you two here, I won't be able to."
"We can go to the drugstore," Dimitri said, sliding his hands over her hips.
"That's not the point…" Her hands slipped over her stomach and she grinned to imagine it round with the children of her shifter or vampire. Her smile faded quickly. "I always knew that I was an accidental baby. My parents didn't want me. I always vowed that I would never put my own children through that."
"You won't," Sanjay said. "I would welcome any child you bore with gladness and love."