by K. A. Linde
“Mike’s in a fraternity,” he told her. “So, yes, even fraternity parties. Probably not as often as my freshman year though.”
After they ordered cotton candy, they made their way toward the Ferris wheel. When Jack offered the candy to Lexi, she snatched a piece of it and stuck it in her mouth. He stared down at her mouth where pink sugar had mingled with her lip gloss. He couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away.
Lexi licked her lips, and Jack swallowed.
He would really like to know what that tasted like.
“You’re such a mess,” he said, trying to cover his inappropriate thoughts.
They stopped at the line for the Ferris wheel, which was wrapped around the ride. Jack popped some cotton candy into his mouth as she watched the machine transfixed. He didn’t even see the giant ride when standing next to her.
He let the sugar dissolve in his mouth before speaking. “What’s your major?”
“As of today, I’m undecided.” She seemed happy about it.
“An indecisive one, I like it.”
“I’m not indecisive. Just open minded.”
“Same thing.”
“Well, what’s your major, Mr. Decisive?” She stuck one hand on her hip and gave him with a knowing look.
“I’m not decisive, just practical. I’m pre-business, likely going to the accounting route. Not so sure though.”
Lexi wrinkled her nose. It was adorable.
“Eww. I’ll forestall practical. Thank you!”
He found himself laughing at her forthrightness. She didn’t seem to hold anything back.
“Yeah, it’s what I’m good at.”
“At least there are a lot of jobs out there for you. Not much a person can do while being undecided, and what I really want to do has only a few more jobs than that,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
“And what is that? What do you really want to do?” he asked very seriously. Despite the joking, he found that he was actually very interested in what she wanted to do with her life. It suddenly mattered a lot to him.
She paused before answering. “Gymnastics.”
“That’s awesome,” he said, noticing all the wonderful muscles gymnastics had put on her small frame. And…she was probably flexible. He needed to stop that line of thinking or else it could get embarrassing.
He knew the gymnastics captain. He wondered if Lexi had been recruited or if she had tried walking on. “Have you talked to the gymnastics team here? If you like it so much, you should try out.”
“No,” she responded solemnly.
“Why not?
“You don’t just try out for the gymnastics team here. They’re amazing. If they don’t recruit you, then you have no chance. No walk-ons. Nothing.”
“How do you know that? Were you recruited?”
“No, I wasn’t,” she said sharply.
Oh, sore subject. He should introduce her to Krista. Maybe that would help.
“Oh, well, I know one of the gymnasts. I bet she could talk to the coach. Even if you can’t be on the team, you could probably practice with them.”
The glance she gave to him was as if she were approaching a martian.
“Okay, maybe not,” he said, raising his eyebrows. He took another bite of cotton candy to prevent himself from speaking again.
“Even if I could get to talk with the coach, there would be no way she would let me practice with them.”
“Never know until you try,” he said, swallowing the remaining bit.
She was hot when she got herself all riled up. Luckily, they were now at the front of the line, so he didn’t have time to think about it again.
Jack handed the man four orange tickets, and then he ushered Lexi into a big swinging yellow bucket with the number twenty-five plastered against the back. He recognized the guy working, and as Lexi took a seat, he asked the guy to do him a favor. The guy laughed, called him an asshole, and told him to sit down.
Once Jack took his seat next to Lexi, the Ferris wheel began to rotate in an endless circle. Jack smirked at Lexi, and then started shaking their bucket back and forth. She grabbed on to the sides and squeaked. The girl in the bucket in front of them started threatening them, but he just laughed.
Lexi put her hand on his knee. “Calm down. We don’t want to get kicked off!”
“I know the guy who’s running it. No way we’ll get kicked off,” Jack said.
But he stopped anyway and used that moment to throw his arm across the back of the bucket seat. Lexi relaxed until she was almost leaning into him but not quite. He wondered what she was thinking.
As they made their final rotation, the ride crawled to a stop at the very top, looking out across the open fields. Jack smiled, silently thanking his friend, as the sun was setting low on the horizon, casting the last sliver of orange, pink, and red on the sky.
The world was lost to them in that moment, and without a second thought, he dropped his arm across her shoulders and drew her into him, her head falling into the crook of his neck. She fit into him like she was the missing puzzle piece. She sighed contentedly just as the sun dropped from the sky, leaving them to stare out at the twinkling white stars burning in the distance.
They spent the next several hours perusing the carnival life. He even won her a huge teddy bear from a dart game. She held it tightly as they made their way toward the exit with the rest of the crowd. An associate stuffed two green T-shirts into their hands as they stepped across the threshold.
Later that evening, Jack drove Lexi back to her dorm. The whole time he couldn’t stop wishing that the night didn’t have to end. He’d had a great time with her, and despite all the complications, he really wanted to see her again. It felt like only seconds before he was pulling up in front of her dorm again.
“Do you want me to park and walk you up?” Jack asked. He turned on his warning blinkers again.
“No, not necessary. Thanks,” Lexi said, collecting her things to exit.
He couldn’t let her just leave like that. He’d had too good of a time to let her just leave like that.
“Hey, wait,” he said. He threw the car in park and ran around to the other side.
He had to say good night. Fuck everything else…he just had to. It was Lexi.
As soon as she was at arm’s length, he reached out for her and pulled her into his arms. When she slid her arms up around his neck, he pushed their bodies flush together as he stood there, letting her legs dangle.
He couldn’t help feeling like she belonged there. He didn’t want her to go. He wanted to put her back in the car and take her to his place. He wanted to kiss her, explore her. He wanted to know everything about her little body. He wanted to know everything about her. Just her.
Fuck. What was he doing?
With her pressed into him, all he could think was that it didn’t matter.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t leave without a hug,” he whispered.
“Oh no,” she said breathily, “I don’t mind at all.”
He had to restrain himself as he placed her back on her feet. He couldn’t kiss her. No, he couldn’t go that far. He wouldn’t do that to Danielle—no matter how ready he was to break up with her, no matter how much he wanted Lexi, no matter how much Lexi was staring up at him like she would go back with him.
He bent down and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. He’d give himself that much. But that was it. He needed to get out of there before he changed his mind.
Straightening abruptly, he turned and fled. He felt like a coward…even if he was doing the right thing.
CHAPTER 5
CHOICES, CHOICES
Jack hadn’t been able to stay away from Lexi. Something was wrong with him. What kind of dick keeps letting her show up when he couldn’t find the right time to tell her about his girlfriend?
She kept appearing at the coffee shop, chatting with him in between studying for her tests. Then, he started bringing coffee to her at her classes. She began coming ov
er to the apartment and playing video games with the guys.
Soon, she was always around, and he liked her being around all the time. And the more he liked her being around, the less he wanted to tell her about Danielle.
He tried to keep his distance. He would never be around her when he was drinking. He didn’t trust himself to not do anything.
On the first game day, she had tailgated with friends on the other side of campus, which was a relief because Danielle had shown up. He’d had no idea how he would have explained that.
When he had gone home last weekend, he thought about breaking up with Danielle. Sure, a large part of the reason that he hadn’t done it was probably due to the sex, but they had been together for so long that when he was with her, it was just different. He didn’t know what he wanted to do.
Then, there was the time that he almost hadn’t been able to hold it back. Lexi had come over for to watch a movie on Sunday night, and she had dressed up for him. She was all smiles and flirting. He had picked her up and carried her into his room, kicking himself the whole time but knowing that he wasn’t going to stop.
He had tried to tell her. He’d tried to say what she was driving him to do, but then she had straddled him, and he was lost. If his phone hadn’t rang in that moment—with fucking Danielle calling no less—he knew he wouldn’t have stopped. And it scared him.
Lexi terrified him. How did she have such control over him? He’d never cheated on anyone before. That wasn’t the kind of person he was! But when those big brown eyes stared up at him, begging and pleading, and she smiled up at him with her pouty lips coated in pink lip gloss…he fucking forgot who he was.
But he hadn’t kissed her. And he wouldn’t.
She was coming over later, and he was going to end it. He was going to tell her everything. That was the way it had to be.
Jack sighed and picked up his phone to call Danielle. Maybe if he heard her voice, it would remind him that he was making the right decision.
“Oh my God, is Jack Howard calling me?” Danielle asked snootily into the phone.
“Yeah.” Jack scrunched up his eyebrows. What the fuck was her deal?
“Well, that’s new. I thought I was the only one who called anymore,” she snapped.
“Apparently not,” he said, gritting his teeth. He didn’t know how much of this conversation he could handle if she was going to act like a bitch.
“Are you going to come see me this weekend? Or do I have to drive to Athens again?”
The way she said the word again was like he had never driven down to see her, but he had just been there two weeks ago.
And suddenly, he realized…he didn’t even want to see her this weekend. “Actually, I’m working all weekend. I can’t come down to Savannah, and you’d just be stuck here all alone.”
“So, now, you don’t even want me in Athens!” she snapped.
“Danielle, do you have something you want to say? Because I’m tired of this passive-aggressive shit,” he barked, surprised by his anger bubbling up.
“I’m fine. Fine!”
“You’re clearly not fine, so just spit it out.”
“Fine! You know what? I’m tired of being the one putting all the effort into this relationship. I’m tried of traveling and calling and messaging and trying to spend every ounce of time with you when you only want to fuck me. I’m tired of you not acting like you used to. I’m still your girlfriend, and I don’t even feel second-best…I feel last!” she said, her voice cracking. He heard the tears in her voice.
God, he hated crying.
“Stop crying, Jesus. You’re not last in my life.” Was she?
“Yes…yes, I am! You don’t even know how you treat me!”
“How do I treat you?” he asked in frustration.
“Like I’m last! Work, school, the guys, parties…everything comes before me. How can we have a relationship if that’s how you treat me, Jack?”
“I don’t know.” And he really didn’t. Maybe…they couldn’t.
“Well, if you don’t know, then I certainly don’t. So, maybe…maybe we should just take a break!” she chirped
“Fine,” he responded immediately. “Whatever.”
“Fine!”
The line went dead in his hand. She had hung up on him. They were on a break.
Whoa. What the hell had just happened? And how had it spiraled out of control so fast?
He flung his phone onto the couch and stormed into his bedroom. He needed to take a shower or do something to get his mind off of this. He couldn’t believe she had just done that.
CHAPTER 6
THAT MOMENT
Jack heard a knock at the door. He grabbed a blue T-shirt from off the clean clothes pile and threw it over his head. His hair was still damp from the shower, but it had calmed him down and made him think more clearly. Whatever had just happened with Danielle…whatever break they were on was probably for the better.
When he opened the door, he saw Lexi standing on his front porch. She was the whole reason that this was for the better. She looked amazing in tight pants and a bright silky shirt. Her hair was down, her eyes lined, making them look even bigger than normal, and she was wearing that pink lip gloss. He was going to try that today and see if it tasted as good as he had thought for the past month.
“Hey,” Lexi said with a smile, walking into his house.
“Hey, it’s good to see you.” And it was.
He reached and drew her into a hug. She folded into him like she had been anticipating it as he slid his hands around her small frame. He didn’t want to let her go, but he did.
“What are we doing tonight? Is Luke going to try to beat me at Mario Kart again? Or would you prefer to study?” She continued without waiting for him to answer. “I’ve already had such a long week. I could seriously use a drink.”
“Do you want me to make you one?” he asked.
“Oh, you don’t have to!” She threw her hand up like she didn’t care one way or another, and then she dropped her purse at the foot of the couch. Lexi kicked off her flip-flops and turned back to face him. “So, what are we doing?”
“Let’s just relax. Maybe a movie?”
“Sure,” she said, bending down and sorting through his collection.
She popped in Pirates of the Caribbean, and then she sat next to him. When he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, Lexi rested back against him.
He had seen the movie a hundred times, but he couldn’t have told anyone a thing about it this time. All he could think about was the feel of Lexi in his arms, the touch of her breast against him as she adjusted in her seat, the feel of her fingers caressing his hand. His mind was set solely on the woman lying next to him, and it all felt right. He didn’t feel rushed or unsure about what to do next or where to go from here. It just felt right.
Too soon, the movie ended.
“I think I have to go home and study. I’d like to stay, but I think that philosophy paper is calling my name,” she said, standing and stretching.
“That’s all right. Maybe you can come over tomorrow?” he asked.
“Sure. Sounds good.”
She put her shoes back on and grabbed her purse, and he followed her to the door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she said. She had a smile on her face when she turned back to him for their obligatory good-bye hug.
When she moved forward to wrap her arms around him, his hand found the smooth shape of her jawline. She stopped when he touched her and stared up into his eyes. He was sure that he saw surprise written on her face. The last time she had tried to kiss him, he had backed off.
“Jack,” she said, her voice coming out breathy and needy.
It was addicting. He wanted to keep leaving her breathless.
He pushed his fingers up into her hair, and her eyes closed of their own accord. His other hand moved to circle her waist.
“Lex,” he whispered, hearing the urgency in his voice.
Tilting he
r head up to him, he bent down and kissed her mouth. She tasted like strawberry lip gloss and every addictive substance on the planet. He couldn’t get enough.
He pulled her hard against him and angled his mouth, so he could trace his tongue across her lips. She moaned into him and opened her mouth. As their tongues connected, he wondered why he had waited this long. Their kisses were urgent, like they had both been waiting too long for this. Still they weren’t rushed as their lips melded together and moved in uninterrupted unison.
Lexi drew his bottom lip in with her teeth, and he nearly lost it. In that moment, he was using every ounce of self-control to stop himself from just grabbing her, throwing her back against the wall, and taking her right then and there.
He kissed her deeply, hungrily, like how a starved man devours food. He could never and would never get enough of the way she tasted and felt.
How he pulled back, he didn’t even know.
When he kissed her now swollen lips one last time, she was putty in his hands. She wrapped her arms around his middle as much to steady herself as to hug him good-bye…and he really, very seriously considered keeping her here. She didn’t really need to study today…did she?
“Jack,” she whispered.
“Yeah, Lex?”
She sighed pleasantly like there was nowhere else in the world she wanted to be. “I like when you call me that.”
“Then, I’ll never stop.”
Jack smiled and drew her in closer. He didn’t care if everything seemed to be spinning off axis. He only cared that he was hopelessly falling for her. And all he wanted was to stay exactly where they were with his arms wrapped around his girl. Because when he was with her, there was nothing and no one else.
“I think…I think I have to really go this time,” Lexi muttered.
She hugged him tighter and then released him. He kissed her one more time on the lips, and then she opened the door.
With a sad smile, he watched his Lex walk out the door. He had this strange feeling creeping through his chest. It started at there and blossomed out to his extremities. She had ignited something in his body that he would never forget—just like he would never forget the way her hand fit perfectly in his, those soul-searching brown eyes, the taste of her pink lip gloss, the intoxicating nature of her presence.