by Carian Cole
She looks at me quizzically. “Why do you keep saying that?” She reaches for her clothes, but I take them away from her. “No. Kneel down on the towel for me.”
“You’re serious?”
“Very.”
She kneels down, naked, and looks up at me. My cock immediately stiffens, and she’s trying to look at anything except my dick.
“Why am I down here?” she asks.
I can’t help but smile at her because her innocence is very different from what I’m used to. It’s turning me on way more than the experienced subs and sluts I’ve been with.
“To suck me.” I brush her wet hair away from her face and watch her reaction, which is priceless. Her eyes literally bug out. She shakes her head and her mouth falls open, which only furthers my desire for her.
“I don’t do that.” She bends her leg and pushes up to stand, but I gently put my hand on the top of her head and hold her down.
“You will.”
She looks at me defiantly, knocks my hand away and stands up. “And if I don’t?”
Ah. She wants to play. I expected this, though, and I know exactly how to handle her.
I shrug and wrap a towel around my waist. “I won’t force you.”
I walk out of the bathroom and leave her there, hoping she’ll react as I think she will. She’s going to need some firm guidance, but I can’t push her too hard since she’s mentally fragile right now. I go to the living room, sit on the couch and flick on the television. Sterling jumps next to me and I pet him absently as I wait for her to come out, which takes about five minutes. She stands in the archway of the room and watches me for a few minutes, a towel wrapped around her.
“You’re going to ignore me now?” she finally says.
Yes.
I say nothing and continue to scroll through the channels.
“Hello?”
I don’t even look at her. A few more minutes pass until she comes and stands in front of me. I look right past her at the television.
Finally, she kneels and puts her hands on my thighs. I turn the TV off, throw the remote to the side and turn to give her my full attention, unwrapping the towel from my waist. I spread my legs and she moves between them. The defiance I saw in her eyes earlier has been replaced with something between desire and anger, but that’s normal. Learning to read her body language, eyes, tone of voice, and mannerisms is going to be my focus for the next few days.
I take my cock in my hand and pump it slowly as she watches in fascination. Her lips part slightly as she stares and her hands grip my thighs. I’m torn between jerking off while she watches me and wanting her to suck me. Decisions, decisions.
She surprises me by putting her small hand over mine, both of our hands fisting my rock-hard cock. She watches us move together and then lowers her head onto me, her lips coming down over the slick head, her tongue swirling around my fingers. A long sigh escapes me and I pull my hand away as her mouth moves further down, taking me deeper. Fuck.
I lean my head back against the couch and close my eyes, loving the feel of her mouth on me. Her pussy and her mouth are both exquisite, and just from the little bit I’ve had of her so far, I’m not sure how I’m going to let her go in a month.
I’ve always gravitated to slutty girls with loud voices, trashy pasts and zero morals. They are willing to do anything I tell them to, not caring if it’s going to hurt or humiliate them. Deep down, they just want attention, so they let me use them. Tabi isn’t like that. She’s sweet, classy and thoughtful. Getting her to do slutty things just for me is a turn on. I like corrupting her innocence, and then seeing it renew itself so I can do it all over again.
She grips the base of my cock with one hand while she sucks me, her other hand moving up my leg, over my hip and stopping at my abs, splaying her fingers out over my muscles.
Suddenly her mouth and hands are gone. My eyes fly open and I turn to see her walking away, out of the room.
What the fuck?
I jump up and follow her. “Hey, where the hell are you going?”
I can’t believe this. No one has ever walked away from me during sex before.
She looks over her shoulder at me as I stalk her down the hallway to the bedroom. “How does it feel to be walked away from?”
This is a first, and not something I’m about to let go. She just pushed a button she shouldn’t have pushed.
I catch her easily and wrap my arms around her from behind, pinning her against me.
“You want to play?” I whisper in her ear. “Then let’s play.” I reach into the nightstand and pull out the long black nylon rope that I hid in there a long time ago, holding her to me with my other arm. In seconds I’ve got her hands tied expertly behind her back before she even realizes what’s going on. Once tied, I turn her around to face me.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demands. “Untie me.”
“Not a chance,” I say, nipping at her neck. “I was trying to go slow with you but you’ve made that impossible.” I kiss her mouth, licking her lips. I can taste myself on her. “I live for this, sweetheart. You don’t know it yet, but you need it.”
She tries to protest again but I quiet her by kissing her, my hand going up to her breast to gently pinch her nipple. She lets out a little cry.
“Now kneel,” I say.
She glares at me and doesn’t move.
“Don’t make me repeat myself. That will be the last time you ever tease me.”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice is shaky, and I think she’s probably afraid of me now, which is both good and bad.
“Show me.” I gently push her down until she’s kneeling in front of me, wobbling a little while she tries to balance herself.
With her hands tied at the base of her spine, she can only use her mouth to grab my throbbing cock. I refuse to help her. I could make this easier if I sat on the bed but now I want to teach her a lesson. Nobody fucks with me; not even her.
Now that she’s got me pissed off, her mouth feels even better. On the couch she licked and sucked me slowly and that felt fucking amazing, but now she’s sucking me hard and furious, and that’s waking up the animal in me. I wind my hand in her hair and hold the back of her neck as I thrust into her mouth, not enough to choke her but enough to let her know that I’m in charge.
I come in her mouth way quicker than I want to, but I can’t hold it back. I pull out slowly and watch her swallow, gulping and glaring at me while a drop of my cum drips down her chin. I reach down and wipe it with my thumb, then glide my thumb over her bottom lip, smearing myself on her like lip-gloss.
“We need to have a little talk,” I tell her, lowering myself down to the floor to sit with her.
“Untie me.”
“Not yet.” She glares at me but I ignore her. “Look, you know what’s going on here. The power play between a Dom and sub is a delicate balance but it can work and it can help you.”
“Dom and sub? You mean like Fif—”
I put my finger on her lips. “Don’t even say it. I need you to respect me, not provoke me. I will take care of you. I’ll make you feel things you’ve never felt before. I can get you out of this depression you’re in and all the other overwhelming feelings you have, but you have to trust me.” I reach behind her, untie her hands, and gently rub her wrists. “You have my word I won’t hurt you. Think of this as a total mental and physical vacation. You don’t have to worry about anything. Everything is my responsibility now. All you have to do is what I ask you to do.” I raise her wrist to my lips, kissing the flesh that is red from the rope. “A big part of this is giving up power, putting total trust in someone else, allowing them to take control and respecting them in return. Ya know how when you go for a long drive with someone, and you don’t have to pay attention to the road at all? You can just watch the scenery, daydream, take a nap, listen to some good tunes, and trust that they’ll get you to where you’re going safely? It’s like that.” She raises her eyebrows at me doubtf
ully. “Just let me drive. Can you do that?”
“Yes. I think so.”
“Do you want that?”
She thinks for a moment, and I hold my breath nervously. She might say no, ask me to take her home, and I’ll never see her again.
Now that I’ve spent some time with her, I don’t want her to go.
“I think I do … yes.”
I breathe again. “Good. I want you to. I can see you’re going to provoke me because I think you like the cat and mouse. That’s fucking great, but I’m going to need to know when stop or no is what you really mean.”
“Like a safe word? I’ve read about that.”
“Yes, exactly. Pick one.”
She thinks for a moment. “Red. It means stop.”
“Red it is.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
She looks at the rope on the floor. “You’ve done this before?”
I pick up the rope and coil it neatly. “Yes. I’ve always had this … need. Craving. Fetish. Whatever you want to call it. I tie up all the women I fuck; I always have. But a lot of that was just for fun, and didn’t touch on the serious aspects of the lifestyle. I’ve never actually been in a true D/s relationship full-time though. I’ve always wanted to, but I never found the right person that I thought I could try it with. It’s complicated.”
“But you do with me? Some random girl you met in a cemetery?”
“Yes,” I reply. “Without a doubt.”
“I really don’t know much about any of this. I’m not going to be a slave.”
“Fuck no, I don’t want that either. I’m friends with this couple. The woman is president of a corporation. She has a ton of responsibility and stress—it’s fucking crazy. Like, she’s in charge of everything that goes on in that company, and she’s great at it. But when she’s home with her partner, she’s submissive and he’s the Dom. She needs that with him, because she gets to let go and relinquish control to someone she trusts and loves. She doesn’t have to make the decisions, or tell people what to do. And it feels good for her to be told what to do, to be controlled.” I study her face for a reaction or some glimmer of understanding, but she’s just tilting her head at me, listening intently, much like a child does when hearing a bedtime story. Like Katie did. “I know it’s hard to understand. Every relationship is different. It’s a total give and take.”
She nods. “That makes sense. I understand that.”
“Some people, they’re into the pain, and degradation. Like you mentioned, they want a slave, or want to be a slave. For me, it’s a mix of things.” Taking her hand, I stand and guide her onto the bed with me where it’s more comfortable. “I think what started this is my childhood. I was abused when I was young. I was beat up by my adoptive father a lot. He liked to belittle me and put me down, and not let me have anything or be able to do anything. He liked to lock me in my room alone. So I think I have a need for control now. I also hate to be touched, so I started tying girls up during sex when I was younger so they couldn’t touch—”
She interrupts me. “You don’t like to be touched? That’s kinda strange. I thought the fun part of having sex was to be touched.”
“For some people. But it’s also an incredible rush to fuck someone who can’t touch you, and on the flip side, to have sex with someone that you’re restrained from touching. Tell me, how did it feel to suck me with your hands tied behind your back?”
Her cheeks redden, and she looks down at her small, pink-tipped fingers clutching the blanket.
“Tell me,” I coax. “I need to know everything you’re feeling.”
She takes a deep breath before answering. “It was scary … but also exciting, in a really weird way. You’re gonna laugh at me for this, but I’ve always hated giving oral because I thought I was doing it wrong, or not good enough, and I had a fear of swallowing and choking.” She peeks at me from under her long, dark eyelashes. “But with you kinda demanding it, and having my hands tied, I didn’t have the chance to back out. It made it easier, as backwards as that sounds.”
“See?” I smile at her. “Giving up control and fears can be good. And it made me happy as fucking hell.”
“Did it? I really made you feel good?”
“You made me feel way better than good. I never get off that fast. You just looked so fucking beautiful, and provoking me to chase you down pushed me right over the edge.”
I’m treading on delicate ground here. Getting involved like this hadn’t been part of my plan. Not that I really had a plan. I just knew I couldn’t stop thinking about her after seeing her, and I just had to get closer to her. Feel her. Hear her. Be part of her. I wasn’t expecting to actually like her. Or to want her so fucking much. Or the possibility of her liking me. I’m fucked.
Standing, I go to my walk-in closet to get some clothes. When I return she’s staring at the wall, not blinking. A lot like Sterling does.
“I’m gonna run out for a little while.”
Her head snaps up. “You’re leaving me here?”
“Yes.” I don’t want her with me in case I run into someone who recognizes me, and I’m not ready yet to tell her I’m in Ashes & Embers, or that I’m the guy who crashed into her.
Her eyes fly to me wildly. “When are you coming back?”
“Relax. I’m just running to the store. I’m going to grab some things I need, and some clothes for you. What size are you? Little?”
“Small. Why can’t I go with you?”
I shake my head and pull a black T-shirt over my head. “No. Listen to me. I’m going to trust you to not touch my shit while I’m gone. If I find out that you touched any of my stuff, I will fucking spank your ass raw. Come with me.” I head out into the living room and she follows me. “I want you to sit on this couch with the cat and not move, all right?”
She scowls at me like a child. “What is your problem? I’m not going to steal your stuff.”
I’m not worried about her stealing anything; I’m worried about her finding something with my name on it, and I don’t have time to go through the entire house to see what’s lying around. I keep this place really clean and don’t really have mail sent here, but I’m sure there must be something with my name on it somewhere.
“I know you’re not. I just don’t like people going through my personal things.”
She flops on the couch, pulls the cat onto her lap and picks up the television remote. “I have zero interest.”
“Do you need anything? Any kind of food you want?”
“No thank you. I barely eat anymore.”
“That’s changing tonight. I’m making us dinner.”
“You can’t make me eat. I’ll use the safe word.”
I roll my eyes. “You can’t use the safe word for dinner. That’s ridiculous, and not even funny.”
She shoots me a dirty look, and I suddenly feel as if I’m living with a teenager.
“I won’t be gone long,” I tell her, picking up my car keys.
“Should I expect any random women to show up while you’re gone?” she shoots back.
I smirk and cross the room to stand over her. “Were you jealous of Evelyn?”
“Who’s Evelyn?”
I want to spank this girl so bad I can taste it. She’s such a little instigator. She flip-flops from being quiet and depressed to sarcastic in about two seconds.
“You’re begging for a spanking, ya know.”
“Just go already.” She’s not even looking at me.
“Stand up.”
“Why?”
“Don’t question me. Just do it.”
She puts the cat gently next to her and stands up, twisting her hair around her finger and chewing her lip.
“Kiss me goodbye.” I soften my voice to ease her nerves.
“I don’t like goodbyes,” she says, her voice thick with sadness.
“I can understand that. Then just kiss me because you like me.”
She peeks
up at me beneath her messy bangs. “Maybe I don’t like you.” I know she’s only half teasing, but her words cut me and kill my mood. Which is really different for me, because I don’t like many people and couldn’t give two shits if anyone likes me. But I want her to like me, and even more than that, I want her to want me.
“Hey, I’m used to people not liking me. Join the fucking club.” And with that I leave, slamming the door behind me.
I take the car I keep up here instead of the bike because I can’t cram too much stuff into the saddlebags. On the way to the store I blast some music to try and raise my mood, but it’s not working. Maybe I should just take her home and stop playing with fire with this situation I’ve created. I should not be fucking around with the widow of someone I accidentally killed. It’s pretty much the most fucked-up thing I’ve ever done. Lukas would kill me if he knew, and Storm would have a goddamn coronary. Ash would try to ban me from the fucking planet. Self-righteous assholes.
But this girl … this little broken doll of a girl that used to smile and write silly status updates like “omg! This cookie is amazing!!” she has entranced me. She’s woken my desires and eased some of my pain already. I crave both her dark silence and her sensual innocence. I want to catch her smile with my lips, feel what she feels, see what she sees. I need her to be happy, because I believe it’s contagious and I want her to infect me with it. I don’t want to give her up.
I pick up a few grocery items, some small sweatpants, T-shirts and panties for her, and then wander into the craft store that is conveniently located next door. She’s way too delicate for my usual industrial ropes and chains. Instead, I want to bind her with silk ribbon and long strings of pearls, to tie her beauty within beauty, and then defile her with my ugly darkness just so I can undo it again.
As I drive back to the house, I play last night over in my mind. I’m surprised at how willingly she came with me, and let me touch her. I don’t think I misjudged her in thinking she’s a good girl that doesn’t sleep around. She turned me on like mad. I want to believe that she wanted me just as badly, but I know that’s far from the truth. It must be that she has reached a level of destruction where she wants me to ruin her and is using me to facilitate her own mental demise.