She knew Damien would be at the barracks, supervising the training of the men. She sent a messenger to find him and bring him back to her. She waited for him in her chambers. She sat in a chair, facing the hearth. The fire reminded her of so many things, dark things. Roke’s castle in flames. Her father’s death. She had endured much to be with Damien. And she loved him so. It frightened her every day that his past might come back to haunt them. The darkness of what he had been might return to break them apart.
She knew for certain an assassin had killed Justina’s father from the way the way the girl described him. ‘He disappeared as quickly as he had come.’ There was only one assassin that Aurora knew of. It couldn’t be coincidence. Damien had to know.
She stood and began to pace before the hearth. She would protect Damien at all costs. The thought that someone might know who he had been…
The door opened, and Aurora whirled to see Damien entering. His strong gait, his powerful presence, should have eased her doubts. But this was her one fear, that someone would recognize him from his past. She met him halfway across the room, stretching her hands out to him.
He clasped her hands, his brow wrinkled with concern. “What is it?”
“Justina’s father was killed by an assassin.”
Damien straightened just a bit, his lips pressed into an even slash. His dark eyes stared into hers.
“Do you think…? Could it have been…?”
“I asked Gawyn to find out. I haven’t had a chance to speak with him.” He looked down in thought. “But the way she looked at me in the square…”
“Fearful,” Aurora added. “I remember.”
“I think there’s a good chance…”
Aurora stepped into his warmth, pressing herself into the crook of his arm. For a long moment, she didn’t say anything. She wanted to protect him so badly. He was no longer that killer. He was honorable and strong. Saved. Loved.
“She’s just one person,” he whispered into her hair.
Aurora pulled back, startled. “She was hurt by your actions. She is still hurting.”
Damien’s grip on her arms tightened. He nodded once. “I know.” There was regret in his dark eyes.
She had never asked him if he was sorry for what he had done. “Would you take it all back, if you could?”
“No.”
“No?” She pulled away from him, angry and hurt at his callous answer. “But all those people you killed, and the families you hurt.”
He stood, stoically, taking her reprimand. “I would not take one back. Because they all led me here, to you.”
Her heart melted. Tears welled in her eyes. How could she doubt who he was? How could she ever doubt how much he loved her?
“You are my life,” he said. “You are my redemption. I had to travel through that darkness to reach you.”
She reached for him, pressing her head against his chest as tears fell from her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t reach you sooner.”
He hugged her tightly, pulling her against him, pressing kisses to her wet cheeks.
She would never understand that part of his life, and he rarely spoke of it. But it was part of who he was. He had survived it and it had made him the man she loved. She looked up at him. “I’ll talk to her.”
“It won’t matter what you say,” Damien warned. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “You know that.”
She did. She had discovered that Damien had killed her mother and she had rejected him with as much repulsion as Justina was doing. Only when her father explained to her that Damien was following orders, did she allow forgiveness into her soul. And, of course, by then it was too late for her. She was already in love with him. She lifted up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “She’s afraid. There’s still hope that she will see you for who you are now.”
Damien dipped his head, kissing the soft part at the base of her neck.
Aurora wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I think Gawyn could make her understand.”
Throughout the day, Linda showed Justina and Adam around the castle. During it all, Justina found it difficult not to look for Gawyn. She expected him around every corner, in every room. Why wasn’t he back? Where was he?
As the sun began its downward descent in the sky, Linda led them back to their chambers where she presented Justina with gorgeous dresses and said she could wear them. Wear them? She was afraid to touch them! But she couldn’t resist. She ran her hand along the soft fabric; material that was softer than the cotton smocks she always wore, softer than any material she had ever touched. She yanked her hand back. She couldn’t wear any of these dresses! It wasn’t right. She was not a noble. And yet… it might be the only chance she ever got to wear clothing like this, to pretend she was something more than a farmer.
She cringed. She couldn’t wear the elaborate, beautiful clothing Linda had laid out on the bed. She looked down at her stained brown cotton dress. Then, she sighed, and her shoulders slumped. Linda had told her she and Adam would be dining at the head table with Lady Aurora. She couldn’t wear what she was wearing now. She looked at the dresses. A thrill rushed through her as she made the decision.
Linda picked out a green velvet dress with beautiful red embroidery. It was much too fancy for her. But Justina had to admit she loved the dress. When Adam was being dressed behind a curtain, Justina spun around and looked at her reflection in a metal bowl. She didn’t recognize the woman looking back. She looked like a princess. Her hair had been washed and combed out. It hung about her shoulders in dark waves. Her skirt whooshed around her legs when she walked. She had never, ever, been close to material like this, let alone got to wear it!
Adam emerged from the curtain with his head down. He pulled at the dark blue jupon. “I hate this,” he grumbled.
Justina wanted to laugh at his awkwardness but choked it down. She knew exactly how he felt. “Just one night.”
“What if I spill something on it?”
“Just be careful.”
He scowled and tossed his head of dirty blonde hair to the side. He looked at her with a scowl etched into his brow, with wildness in his eyes. Like he was going to run. Like he wanted to run.
“Imagine what your princess will think of you!” Justina added quickly.
The wildness vanished from his eyes as they lit with hope. “Really? Do you really think she will like it?”
“Most certainly.”
Adam didn’t complain after that.
Linda led them to the Great Hall and Justina was grateful for that because she never would have found it without her guidance. The castle was, perhaps, as big as the entire village of Auch. Justina would have gotten lost after the first turn.
When they came to the Great Hall, Justina paused. The room was crowded and loud. Wooden tables stretched before her on either side of the room. Men and women sat on benches at the tables. Some wore commoners clothing, brown breeches, and tunics. Beyond the commoners, the knights sat. They took up most of the tables. Before the head table were the nobles. Their glorious gowns and rich jupons proclaimed their heritage.
Linda moved up the middle aisle, Justina and Adam following. Nervously, their gazes shifted from side to side. The entire room echoed with raucous talking and laughter.
Linda guided them up to the head table, which was empty. She signaled they should take the two chairs near the center.
“Are we early?” Justina asked, feeling her stomach knot with discomfort.
“Lady Aurora and Lord Damien will be here shortly. You are not early.”
Damien. Again, the name sent unease through her, but she couldn’t explain why. Justina nodded, thanked Linda, and took one of the seats closest to the center chairs. Adam took the seat beside her.
Linda bowed and moved away.
Justina wished she wasn’t the center of attention. She wished she wasn’t at the front table. She didn’t like the way the nobles were leaning in to talk to each other and casting glanc
es her way. She looked at Adam. He was staring out over the crowd with wide-eyed awe. “This is grand!”
Justina smiled at her brother’s enthusiasm. It was the only time she would ever be here, dining at the head table. She could do it for Adam. Still, she clenched her hands tightly in her lap. She gazed this way and that, her stare moving over the gathering, searching. Disappointment nestled in her chest. Gawyn was not here.
Suddenly, a murmur swept over the crowd and the conversation quieted. Lady Aurora walked up the center aisle, as royal and beautiful as an angel. Justina stared, as star struck as everyone else at the elegant way in which Aurora moved, at the stature of her body and the way she carried herself. She was stunning. And Justina wanted to be like her. She found herself sitting straighter in her chair, lifting her chin.
Aurora seemed oblivious to the way people looked at her. With adoration. With breathless fascination. She nodded greetings to some, smiled at others. She took her seat at Justina’s side, and for a moment the silence lingered. Slowly, the conversations resumed. “I am sorry I am late.”
Adam quickly moved to the seat next to Aurora.
Aurora smiled at him. “You look very handsome, Adam.”
Justina knew Adam was infatuated. He had the attention of his princess, who told him he looked handsome. What more could his heart ask for? He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
The servants emerged from the kitchens, carrying large silver trays with various meats and vegetables.
“Will Captain Gawyn be joining us tonight?” Justina wondered, perhaps a bit too hopeful.
Aurora stared at her for a long moment with bright blue eyes, as if seeing something in Justina she liked. “I do not think he will make it back in time. He had work to do.”
Justina’s face fell in discontentment. She hadn’t realized how much she had looked forward to seeing him. “Oh.”
“You will stay until he returns? I know he would be disappointed if you were not here.”
“I...” Justina lowered her gaze to her lap where her hands were clenched nervously. She couldn’t stay forever. Uncle Bruce needed their help on the farm. She and Adam should be returning to Auch, they had responsibilities. “I...”
Aurora reached out to put her hand over hers. “I know you have a lot to do in Auch.”
Over Lady Aurora’s shoulder, Justina locked eyes with Adam.
“You said we could stay one more day,” Adam pleaded.
Justina sighed and nodded. “I did. Only one more day.” She hoped Gawyn made it back, so she could… so she could what? He was captain of the guard. She was a farmer. She was being impractical thinking they could be anything.
Adam clenched his fist in a gesture of excitement. Aurora nodded in acceptance, but she had a pleased glint in her eyes that confused Justina.
Aurora suddenly turned, and Justina saw a dark-haired man at her side. She wasn’t sure where he had come from; she hadn’t seen him enter the room. Her throat clenched tight and she suddenly found it difficult to breathe. Tremors shot up her spine. Fear gripped her in a tight embrace.
It was the monster.
Justina froze as the monster bent to kiss Aurora’s head. Her mind screamed in denial. She saw images in her mind from the square. Lady Aurora laying a hand on his arm. She remembered her calling, ‘Damien.’ Like a curtain being drawn aside, the name of the monster became clear, ringing over and over in her mind. Damien. Damien. Lord Damien.
“Justina, this is my husband, Lord Damien,” Aurora introduced.
He locked gazes with her.
Damien! her mind shouted. The monster. He was the one she had seen. Her mind instinctively returned to that horrible moment in time. She had accompanied her father to the market that day. It was the first day her father let Adam remain home alone. Her father had said he had business to attend to. He always had business to attend to.
Her father told her to run and get herself a tart. What a treat! A tart! He had given her coin, telling her he would meet her. He had to relieve himself. He kissed her forehead and she raced away as her father ducked behind a building. She returned, having eaten half the tart. She turned the corner...
Her father lay on his back in the dust of the street. A man dressed in black stood over him. He wiped a bloodied blade on the front of her father’s tunic. When he stood, she saw him. She saw his face! And it was the same face she was staring at now.
It was a long moment before she realized he had spoken and the three of them were staring at her. Murderer! her mind screamed. But she knew she couldn’t accuse him. He was a powerful lord and she a commoner. Tears filtered across her eyes. She felt helpless to move, to speak, to exact vengeance. He had killed her father. He had taken him from her.
“Are you ill?” Lady Aurora asked.
Justina tore her gaze from Lord Damien’s dark one. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. She couldn’t stop the trembling in her voice. “I don’t feel well.” She couldn’t stay here. Her hands were clenched into tight balls. She couldn’t remain here for one more moment. She stood and whirled with such speed that she knocked her chair over. She didn’t look back, but hurried from the head table, walking at a quick pace down the long aisle. The room wavered before her eyes; warmth descended over her like a blanket. She didn’t see the knights stop to look at her. She didn’t see the servant carrying the large tray that she almost ran into.
This was wrong. All of it was wrong. Lady Aurora didn’t care about them, didn’t care to protect them. She was plying them with sweets and pretty clothing and large rooms for the sake of her husband. She was trying to atone for what Lord Damien had done by giving them a horse!
Her throat closed as she reached the door. Her stomach clenched tight and nausea rose in her mouth.
“Justina?”
She looked up to see Linda standing near her. Aurora had sent Linda, not to see to their needs, but to watch them. How gullible she had been! She had wanted to believe that her lord and lady wanted what was best for them. But why would they? They were nothing to them. Peasants. They had shown no interest before.
Linda lay a comforting hand on Justina’s shoulder.
Justina yanked away from it. She didn’t want to wear these tainted clothes. She trembled violently. “Show me back to my room.” She just wanted to go home.
Justina paced the darkened room. The firelight from the hearth was the only light in the room. It washed over her as she paused to stare deep into the snapping and hissing flames. Then, she whirled and stalked back into the darkness. She had quickly changed clothes back to her cotton dress and bodice. She hated the beautiful dress and the large room and even the sweets on the table. She hated Acquitaine. She hated Lady Aurora for making her feel welcomed and safe. It had all been a ruse to protect her husband. And she had the coin to do it.
Justina turned and moved toward the light of the hearth. She was only waiting for Adam. Once he came, they were leaving. They would never, ever return here.
Where was Adam? What had they done to him? It had been at least an hour since she had left the Great Hall. She never should have left Adam with them. But she had been so sick at her discovery, that she just had to get away. She had left her brother. Her heart clenched, and she stormed to the door. If they hurt him, she would kill them. All of them!
She stopped. How was she going to do that? She had nothing. And they had everything. The Lord of Acquitaine had taken her father away from her. And now... Now, where was Adam?
The door opened before her.
A shadow stood in the doorway, holding a limp Adam in his arms.
Chapter 7
Justina shrunk back, recognizing Lord Damien. Her heart lurched in terror as her eyes shifted to Adam and protectiveness washed over her. What had he done to Adam? She overcame her fear and reached out, ripping Adam from his arms.
“I was showing him around the castle,” Damien explained, “and he fell asleep in the throne chair. He must have been more tired --”
“Stay away f
rom him, you monster,” Justina growled, wiping some of Adam’s hair from his forehead and moving to the bed to lay him down.
Damien stood in the doorway for a long moment.
“I know who you are,” Justina snapped, whirling on him. “I know what you did. You are a killer. A murderer.”
Damien didn’t move. He stood silently, a dark shadow lit by the dancing torchlight in the hallway behind him. “I didn’t hurt him.”
“Stay away from him!”
Another heartbeat passed before Damien nodded and left the room, softly closing the door.
Justina sat on the bed beside Adam. In the soft glow of the firelight, Adam’s face looked pale. Her mind interposed the face of her dead father over Adam’s. Her trembling hand had wiped her father’s hair from his forehead, too. “Adam?” She didn’t know what she would do if anything happened to her brother.
He moaned softly and opened his eyes sleepily. When he saw her, a grin spread over his lips. “You should have seen the barracks,” he whispered.
Justina nodded as relief filled her. He was fine, just exhausted from so much excitement. “Shhh,” she said softly. “Go to sleep.”
“Can we stay another day?”
She wanted to leave as soon as possible, but how could she say no to her brother? He meant the world to her. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“I want to see the falcons...” His voice trailed off as he slipped into sleep.
Justina pulled one of the blankets over him. What was she going to do?
Monster. It was unnerving to hear the accusation here, in Acquitaine. Damien had come to believe he was more than that. He was loved by Aurora. That should be enough.
He entered the solar.
Aurora was bent over a table, studying a piece of parchment. She looked up as he entered, her face turning to joy. She slowly rose, and her happiness faded to concern. “What’s wrong?”
“It was me.” Damien looked away from her. “She recognized me.”
Beloved in His Eyes (Angel's Assassin Book 3) Page 6