He pointed to her cup. “Do you want another one? Coffee or tea, is it?”
“No, thank you.” The old Lily poked her head above the recently built wall of self-preservation. “I’d like a glass of wine please. Red, something heavy.”
“Oh, erm… Okay, right you are, coming up.”
She didn’t watch him walk away, instead her eyes closed and she breathed deeply. It wasn’t his fault, none of it, and she mustn’t antagonise him. He may know the story of how his little, lost brother came to be. It would make her rapid journey to the end of life so much better if she had the whole picture. It wouldn’t change what happened, but it would be a fine thing after all this time.
“I hope this is alright. A Bordeaux.”
She nodded and smiled at him as Terry Robertson dragged a chair across the floor, and then with his pint of lager already half-drunk in one great gulping swallow, he looked her straight in the eyes.
“So, your friend, the one on the phone. She said you had something of my mum’s. I can’t imagine what it could be. So, what’s all this about?”
“Tell me about her.”
“How do you mean? I thought you knew her.”
She had known it was going to be difficult, pretending and lying and straight away she had failed. She took a sip of the wine.
“Hmm, that’s nice. No, what I meant was, tell me about how she was later. We met so long ago, I wondered what happened to her. Did she marry? Was she happy? Oh no, she can’t have done, your name wouldn’t have been Robertson, would it? That was silly of me, I’m sorry.”
“No, she didn’t. As you say my name would have been different, wouldn’t it?” He gave a short laugh. “Tricky for her to be honest – back then – not like now when nobody bats an eye. Anyway, what can I say about her? She was okay as a mum. This is hard when I don’t know how much you knew about her.”
Lily realised that questions were only making things more complicated, so she tried for a version of the truth. She took another drink of the wine and smiled at him. Maybe the alcohol, which she wasn’t supposed to have with her medication, was to blame, but she was warming a little to this person. He can’t have had it easy, being the child of an unmarried mum in the days when it carried stigma. He was late twenties, maybe thirty, she imagined, thus not much younger than Peter would have been. Despite what had happened, what she had done, his mother hadn’t taken care not to land herself in the same mess again.
“I didn’t know her very well at all. I only met her.” She paused. “Well, just a couple of times really.”
“Oh, I see, only I got the impression you’d been friends.”
“Hmm, well no, I don’t think we were really friends. Lily must have misunderstood.”
He rubbed his hands together, an impatient gesture. “Ah right, well, not to worry. Look, I don’t have a lot of time, so can we just, you know…”
She tipped her head to one side, looked at him.
“Well, okay. Your friend said that you had something, something my mum had given you. I was intrigued. She never really had much, it all belonged to him – her father – everything. She only ever had the odd bit of tatty jewellery so, why she’d give it away…” He stopped for a moment and Lily was surprised to see a flash of anger cross his face. He gathered himself. “So, anyway I was curious. What is it, what have you got?”
“It’s not exactly something I’ve got. I’ve nothing to give you.”
“Oh right, this is all a bloody scam, isn’t it? What are you playing at? Your mate said you had something from my mum, that’s the only reason for me coming to meet you, now you say you haven’t – what’s going on?”
Lily had raised her hand, she patted at the air in a calming gesture. “No, no, look nothing is ‘going on’, not exactly. It’s more information really. Yes, that’s it, mostly it’s information and, well, when I tell you, you might want to do something about it, I don’t know.”
The man before her sighed and rubbed his hand across his face. “Okay, well tell me then. What is it you know or think you know?”
“Oh, there is no doubt. This is fact. I wanted to tell you about your brother.”
He took in a sharp breath and she watched as colour drained from his face. His eyes were wide with shock. Of course she had expected that, but it was more, it was anger that she saw in his face, anger, and fear.
Chapter 14
Terry Robertson leaned forward, his voice was low, a hiss. Lily instinctively leaned away from him but he stared into her eyes. “I don’t want to know, okay. I don’t want anything to do with him. I don’t want to know about him, and if he thinks that he can come along now, after all this time, when she’s dead and gone and, if he thinks…” He drew a breath, blew it back through flared nostrils and wiped his hand across his face. He pointed at her now. “I don’t want to know. Tell him that, tell him to go away, to never ever try to contact me again. There is nothing for him here, nothing, do you hear me?”
He pushed back the chair and began to rise. She felt afraid, his fury was barely controlled, but she had to tell him. She had thought that this might have been a sad and poignant moment, revealing the news of Peter’s very existence, or delivering sad news that would destroy the hope of years. She could never have imagined this. This anger frightened her, and she wished she hadn’t come.
When she spoke, her voice was broken, not much more than a croak, “He’s dead.” She coughed and tried again, reaching out with her hand, trying to hold him back. “I came to tell you he’s dead. I didn’t know, you see, until yesterday. I didn’t know your mother was no longer alive and I wanted to let her know what had happened. I wanted someone besides me to know what happened to him.” She felt the tears gathering on her lower lids, and wiped them away with the tips of her fingers.
He had stopped now, slid back on the wooden seat. For a little while he seemed lost for words. “Dead. He’s dead? Right, well, that takes care of that then, doesn’t it?”
“Don’t you want to know? Don’t you want to hear about him?”
“Who were you, to him? What were you?” He was calming already now, the news of Peter’s death had stopped him, and he appeared curious.
“I wasn’t much really. Nobody was very much to him.”
“How do you mean? Were you his mother? Did he think you were?”
Lily struggled to answer, the words that she had rehearsed in her head didn’t fit the scenario. “I didn’t even know whether you knew about him. I thought I would be able to meet his mother, I wondered if she thought about him. I wanted to let her know what had happened. Do you see? It was just so that someone knew.”
“Yes, I knew about him. She talked about him sometimes. Later, not when I was young, but later. I think she felt a bit like you, she just wanted someone else to know. Once she was ill. Look, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for just now, I jumped to a conclusion. I thought he was going to try and make contact, try and blag some money, something.”
“Money, why would you think that?”
“Well,” he shrugged, “it happens, doesn’t it? You hear about it. I’m not short of cash, you know – now that my mum’s gone and him, her father – he’s in a home. Well…”
“I see. I understand, I think. No, there was nothing like that. I just thought that his family, his real family, ought to know what happened. I didn’t want him to be forgotten when I was gone.”
“Well, yeah now it’s starting to sink in I guess it’s a bit of a shock. I’ve known about him for a few years and, to be honest, I always wondered how I’d feel if he tried to contact us, me. You hear about it, don’t you, adoption agencies helping the kids? Parents suddenly having to cope with men and women turning up.”
“Yes, I see what you mean. But honestly it’s nothing like that.”
“Okay, look, just hold on. I need another drink and then we need to calm down; I do at any rate. Then, yes, tell me about him. It might be good after all, to know a bit anyway. Do you want another glass of wine?”
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“No, I shouldn’t.”
“Oh, come on. Tell you what, I’ll get us a couple of sandwiches. I feel bad. There was no need for me to take it out on you, you coming to try and do the right thing.”
“Well, would it be awful of me to have a whisky? Just a small one. I’m not supposed to drink but I think whisky is okay, just now and then.”
As he walked away Lily settled again, she dabbed at her eyes and finished the wine.
Terry came back with two plates of sandwiches, garnished with crisps and a bit of salad. He put a large whisky in front of her. She noticed that he had bought himself the same. He had been unnerved, there was no doubt. She would need to be careful now, as she told him the facts. She had come to do the right thing, for his mother, but even more for herself, and now it was time to make sure that was just what she did.
“So,” Lily broke the awkward silence with the worthless word. “How much do you know?”
“I know what she told me. She had a baby, a woman took him away. There was more of course, tears sometimes, but that was it basically…”
She bent down and pulled the large brown envelope out of her bag. She laid it on the table top and placed a hand on it. “I have some things here. They are his, from when he was born. Do you want to see them?”
He nodded. “Wait though, you still haven’t told me. Were you his mother?”
“No, not me.”
“How do you mean, not you? Oh, okay, my mum, Carol, she was his mother, I get that. But I mean were you his other mother, the one who brought him up?” Lily shook her head.
“So, you’re from the adoption agency?” There was a flair of irritation again, in his eyes. It was developing into a ludicrous question and answer session and she had to put a stop to it. The longer it went on the harder it would be to tell him the whole story.
She handed him the envelope and he peered into it, pushed his fingers inside and drew out the little bundle of items. He turned them over on the table and stroked the little plastic bracelet. 24th July. “Okay, well that’s something I didn’t know. Have you not got any pictures? Nothing from when he was a baby?”
Lily gulped and reached across to unfold the tiny receipt.
Terry read it. “What the hell is this?” he shook it in the air. “What the hell is this?”
“It’s a receipt,” she whispered.
“How do you mean? What is it a receipt for?”
She couldn’t put it into words, so she sat in silence, watching as he turned it over and over in his hand and began to see the ugliness.
“Bloody hell, no I don’t believe that. She wouldn’t.” He stopped, lifted the paper closer to his face. “Oh Christ, but he would!”
Chapter 15
Lily took a sip of her drink, Terry Robertson had frightened her again with the flash of temper which seemed to be just below the surface with him. When she spoke, her voice was low, “I don’t know what happened, all the details. I had hoped that your mum, his mum could tell me some of it. What do you mean ‘he’, who is he?”
“Who is he? Are you serious? I thought you were the one doing the telling. You’re not making much sense.”
The alcohol and emotion had confused Lily and she had fallen into her own trap. Her mind spun and there was only one way for her to extricate herself. “I’ve lied to you.”
Terry Robertson put down his drink and placed his hands on the table, fingers linked. He leaned towards her. His face was impassive but his eyes were narrowed and there was fire there. “Look, I’ve had enough of this messing about. I’ve had enough of this back and forth. Either tell me why you’re here, straightforward and honest, or just bugger off and leave me alone.”
“Yes, I will.”
“Right, we’ll do it this way. I will ask you questions and you will answer, okay?”
She nodded at him and took another mouthful of the whisky.
“First of all – is this all true? Are you here because of my brother? If you’re not, then you’re either sick or criminal, and you don’t strike me as the sort of person who would be criminal.” He shrugged. “Can’t bloody tell these days.”
“I promise you that I am here about Peter. That was what he was called, Peter.”
“Right. So, what were you to him?”
“I held him. I cared for him for just a few days.”
“Then where did he go? You passed him on, yeah? You passed him on to his new parents? And did you get money for him as well?” She shook her head again and whispered.
“He died. Then, right at the start, when we had him. He died when he was just a few days old. We were heartbroken, I promise you we did all that we could.” As the lie left her lips she saw it for what it was and cast it aside. “No, that’s not true. We should have done more. We were so afraid, you see. It was different back then. Attitudes were so different. Like with you, your mother not being married. As you say, it doesn’t matter anymore. We were afraid and we didn’t do enough, and he died.”
“Because you bought him? Because you didn’t do it legally, you and your husband is that it, is that what you were scared of?”
“I’m not married. We were never married.”
“Right, well I suppose that was a complication, but still. How did he die?”
“He had what I think was probably gastroenteritis and something called sepsis. He was so very young, you see, so little. I’ve read about it since. It was unbelievably quick, before we knew what was happening he was gone.”
“So, how come we didn’t know – well, not me, obviously – how come my mum didn’t know what had happened? There must have been an inquest. How could you hide it then?”
Lily blew out her cheeks. “There wasn’t an inquest, nothing like that. We didn’t tell anyone what had happened.”
Terry frowned. He pushed back in the chair, glanced around the pub. “I know things were different back then, but it’s not all that long ago. I still don’t believe you. I don’t believe you could do this, hide the death of a baby. No. You’re not telling me the truth, are you?”
“I am. It was wrong, it has tormented me forever, it was so wrong but it’s true.”
“And your husband, partner, whatever, he just went along with this?”
“She.”
“Sorry?”
“My partner was a woman. That was one of the reasons, you see. We couldn’t draw attention to ourselves. We couldn’t risk it.”
“My God.” He gave a short bark of a laugh. “Well, this is a turn up, isn’t it? I think I begin to see. Oh, you were ahead of your time, weren’t you? That poor little sod. So, to save yourselves the embarrassment, you lied. That must have been quite a cover-up. Huh, I don’t know how much to believe you now. Look, where is he? I’m going to go and see. Tell me where he is and once I see his grave, or whatever, then I’ll believe you. It doesn’t really make much difference, but now, now I know about him, I want to see. So, where is he?”
The silence grew and stretched. Lily felt her heart begin to pound. The pain came forward from the place it was held by the magic of medication, and she felt the world tip and withdraw as weight came down upon her chest.
Chapter 16
Lily thrust her hand into the pocket of her jacket and dragged out a small spray bottle. She puffed some of the liquid under her tongue. Terry had half risen from his chair but when he saw that she was handling the situation, he perched on the seat edge, watching, and waiting. She began to breathe more easily.
“Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance?”
She shook her head. “I’m alright. I’ll be alright in just a minute.”
“It’s a mess this. I have to go anyway, I’ve got an appointment. What are we going to do?”
“You go, just go, it’s fine.”
“But what about him?” He lifted the little baby bracelet. “What about Peter?”
Lily shook her head. “I can’t, I can’t do any more today. Maybe it’s best if I write it all down for you. Yes, that’s going
to be best, isn’t it? I’ll write it all down for you, calmly.”
“I don’t think so. Once you go, there’s no guarantee for me. You’ve started this now. You must finish it. I want to know what happened. And, if it was him, if her father was the one behind all this, if he sold…” He paused. “If he sold that baby, Carol’s baby, then I’ll make him pay. He’s not getting away with that, it’s just a bridge too far, on top of everything else the old bastard has done.”
Lily rubbed at her chest and frowned. “I don’t know enough to answer that. I had hoped that I could find out the things that I always wondered about. I thought we could have talked, me and your mother. It was stupid. I see that now, but my partner Charlotte has just died and, I’m not well and I wanted to know, and I wanted to try and put some things right.”
“Charlotte, were you both called Charlotte then? That’s a coincidence.”
“Lily, I’m Lily. I didn’t meet your mother, she wouldn’t have known my name, that’s why I did that. Charlotte was my partner, she brought him home. I don’t know anything about how she found him.”
“Oh, you’re quite a one for the lying aren’t you, Lily? I’ll say this, if I can prove that old swine, Carol’s father, did this to his own grandson, then it’s all going to come out, I’m going to see to that.”
“What’s his name?”
“Clive.”
“Ah, I see. So…the signature.”
“Where do you live? Maybe if I came to your house, you know, somewhere calmer.”
“I don’t live in Bath, I think I told you. I travelled on the train today. I live in Southsea.”
“Right, so why don’t I come? You can take me then?”
“Take you?”
“Yes, we’ll go and see where he is. His grave or whatever, the rose garden, if that’s where you put him. You can show me what else you’ve got, pictures and so on, and then I’m going to go and confront that old sod.”
She couldn’t let this happen. It was so very different from what she had imagined. His mother might have understood. She had been part of the deception after all, but Terry was innocent of any of the wrongdoing. If he was willing to confront his grandfather, in spite of the old man being sick, then what would he do when he knew the truth? She was afraid now, truly afraid. They would drag her through the courts, send her to jail, maybe. No, this couldn’t happen.
BONE BABY: chilling emotional suspense with a killer ending Page 5