by Mima
“Good morning. Hungry?”
“Yes.”
“Feel all right?”
She stopped, watched him. Her hair was even more vivid paired with the black. She looked so fragile with it around her, paler, tinier.
“Yes.”
“I’ll be back with breakfast.”
“No.”
He raised a brow at her.
“Sit down.”
She was up to something.
“I didn’t satisfy you?” He knew he had.
“Of course you did. But it’s time this contract went both ways a little more equally.”
“Shay, you’re here for me to care for. It’s my duty in the contract. I’ll please you, but let me feed you first.”
“No. Sit down.”
He sighed, debated. He sat on the lounge they’d slept on. It wasn’t meant for two, but they seemed to have done just fine. He wasn’t used to always being nude, as she was. It didn’t bother him, but the velvet under his ass was interesting.
“Such a sigh. Was that so hard?”
“I don’t think you’re done with me.”
“Hmm. I’m told that my fondness for delay tests a man’s control. That men like it faster, harder, simpler.”
“You may have noticed that I like your way just fine. My control is up to it.”
“Mmm. Spread your legs.”
Warily, he widened his stance. His erection had faded on the walk to the bathroom and back, but was fattening already. She came and stood before him, a tall, slim column of soft black. She stared at his crotch. Cocked her head.
His anxiety continued to rise. She was in a weird mood. “You saw me yesterday.”
“Not really.” She knelt. Oh Spirit. She couldn’t do what he thought she was thinking.
“Shay…” he warned her.
She took her hands out from under her shirt. She was holding the feather they’d prayed with last night. It was a tough flight feather, blue and black striped, white near the base.
“Shay?” He couldn’t believe she’d had it under the shirt. What if she’d bent it?
She reached out and drew the tip of it down his dick and he leaped up, but she put out a hand to his sternum and pushed him right back down. He bounced, and his dick bounced too.
“Sit.” She kicked his foot farther out. “Spread.”
“Are you always this bossy in the morning?”
“Only the mornings I wake up to fingers in my ass.”
“Ah. I’ll remember that.”
“Yes, you’ll remember.” She wouldn’t take her hard stare away from his dick.
He glanced down at himself. It wasn’t particularly attractive. All bumpy and red and veined, spearing out from a nest of dense black hair. She was so soft and pretty, her folds like petals. Bare and dewy. Looking up the line of her slight body, he wished she’d take the cotton off so he could see her.
She reached out with that feather and he grabbed her wrist. “Shay, that feather is for prayer.”
She flicked it within his hold and he gasped when it rasped along the side of his dick.
“Take your hands off of me.”
Gritting his teeth, he put his fists on either side of his hips. “I don’t want to ruin the feather, Shay.”
“I would never.” She dusted him all over with it. Cool, silky, unique. She even stirred a path up to his belly button, across the crease of one thigh. Then she reversed it and poked one ball with the quill.
“Does that hurt?”
“It stings a bit.”
“Hmm.” She did it again. And then again to the other sac. He wondered if he should be afraid. She rose and went to the altar, laying the feather on it after smoothing it in her fingers. He breathed a sigh of relief.
She walked back to him, no longer moving stiffly, but with the slink of her prowling crawl he’d seen yesterday. She knelt gracefully between his legs, bent and engulfed him in her mouth. Right down to the base, her lips closed tight in his nest of hair.
He grabbed her head, a shocked shout ripping from him.
She hummed. Then her head began to drag up and down in hard, quick bobs, her wet lips tight to him, her tongue lashing his tip. Each of her hands planted on his hips, her nails giving a bite.
In four strokes he knew he was going to go. “Shay, you’ve got to stop.”
She hummed again. “Nnnnnnn.”
“Shay, I’m going to come.” He focused on not thrusting.
“Mmmmmm.”
“Shay. Red, you’re going to—” He couldn’t hold it. Her mouth was too hot, her lips too tight, her tongue too soft. She swallowed on a downstroke and the pull of her throat brought him in a burning gush.
His hands held her skull carefully as she sucked three more pulses from his balls. He swallowed, choking on his breath. She laved him gently with her tongue, cleaning the thick moisture away. Pulling up, she smiled at him, licking her lips. The distance in her eyes stopped his heart.
“Shay-non.”
“Good?” She sat back on her heels.
“No. It wasn’t. I was confused the whole time. I don’t feel that we shared anything. It was just sex. Why did you do that?”
“I pay my debts. You got me off lots yesterday and didn’t come. And again this morning. You think I like feeling played? I was trying to balance the scales.”
“There are no scales here. We are two people sharing ourselves, building a relationship.”
“Whatever.”
The caustic dismissal boiled his blood. “Where is this coming from? Where is the giving woman of yesterday who shared my vision?”
“Look, Sandor. I’m here to train my body to like sex with you. The binding ceremony singers usually follow to raise chi isn’t going to be enough. This is going to be sexual, and you know it. You’re here to cue my chi to yours. The ceremony won’t be for a while, and who knows what will happen in the meantime. Life is short, and this is a crazy plan, but I’m in.
“I didn’t appreciate your talk about a future sealed contract, and your talk of this being about love. I’m a big girl. We fuck so we can bring power to each other. Clarity and energy. You’ll do it again with others, and so will I. Before and during the ceremony. The aftermath will be even harder, when we reveal the temple and come under worldwide scrutiny.
“Don’t start building some castle in the clouds for me. I don’t need it.”
He was so furious he couldn’t think. The frightened little bitch. She’d just sucked him off to hurt him, as some sort of power play. He stood slowly, swung his leg over her head and strode out the door.
“Don’t you walk away from me!”
He ignored her. If he stayed, he could get violent. There were too many precious things in that room he could harm, not the least of which was her. He stalked to the kitchen. He didn’t even see as he mixed the food, adjusted it. She followed him in, propping one black-clad hip against the silver counter.
“Are you acting all hurt? Come on, Sandor. You’re going to forget me and focus on the next singer you need as soon as I walk out. You’ve already bagged me for your project.”
He stopped, laying the searing rod precisely next to the bowl.
“You are being a contrary, hurtful bitch, all in order to gain reassurance. I’m very disappointed in you.” He nodded at her outraged gasp. “If you don’t want to hear several other brutal truths, you’d better get out now, because I’m too angry to filter my thoughts at the moment.”
“I’d have to care for you to have the power to hurt me.”
He gritted his teeth, his vision narrowing to her closed face. Her bangs formed a square around her eyes, highlighting their rich chocolate color. He’d thought them warm yesterday. Now they were flat.
“Well, I care. And you are hurting me. So do me a favor and go suck spit somewhere else for a while.”
“I can’t! You trapped me here for twenty-four hours, remember? According to the contract, I can get some of your dick whenever I want it. So there.”<
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He considered fucking her on the table. The cotton might protect her from the reaction with the countertop. He considered using the tree as leverage, but knew that would only escalate her. He saw with utter clarity that she was absolutely terrified.
He left the room, walked to the foyer, lay down in the center of the icy marble. She stopped just inside the doorway, hovering. He grasped himself and pumped, his hand brutal on the sensitive skin that was getting more action in the past day than he’d had in a month.
“Well, here’s the dick. I assume you want it since you won’t leave me alone. I said I’d take care of you and I will. Come and get it.”
“You don’t think I really will.”
“But you don’t care what I think.”
She crossed her arms.
“Singer, either you want some dick in your pussy to scratch an itch or you don’t. Decide.”
She was absolutely rigid. He put his hands behind his head, crossed his ankles. His dick stood boldly in the air, aching. He blew her a kiss.
She stalked around him and down the hall to the bedrooms. Breathing harshly, he stayed where he was for a long moment. He wanted to run to her, gather her up, apologize. He wanted to sling her on her stomach and go at her. He wanted to get on his knees and worship her until she believed in him. Stiffly, he stood. When breakfast was finished, he sent the droid to her room. Standing at the sink, he forced himself to eat a portion.
Then he went to his office. Settling into his chair, patching into the lattice, he sent his mind drifting, gathering. All was well. No developments. No waves from their contract that he could detect. He traced to Tavish. Sand relaxed a bit when his friend’s face clarified on the lattice. The swirling darkness of cascading information stilled in his brain.
“Sand?” The man was clearly surprised to see him.
“I spooked her. We had a fight.”
Tavish frowned. He was a huge man, one of the biggest Sand had ever met. His face was brutish, hard and tough. He was a slow thinker, careful. “I can’t believe you didn’t plan for this. You think of every contingency.”
“I planned for resistance that I would wear down. I didn’t plan for an instant connection that she immediately ripped to shreds.”
Tavish sent one hand over his shadowed jaw. He’d refused to get any of his body hair lasered. “Well, think on it, man. You’re the strategist. You’ve never met a problem you couldn’t solve.”
“I don’t have time. I only have her for a handful of hours.”
“Well, you’ll have to apologize, grovel a bit. Go down on her, that usually works.”
“It was her fault.”
“Sand.”
He sighed. “I know.”
“You have to find what she’s scared of and neutralize it.”
He shook his head. “I can’t neutralize this.”
“What is it?”
“I love her. But the plan has to come first. She’s jealous. And she’s afraid of the wait. It’s lonely. Then there’s the uncertainty of what comes next, and she doesn’t trust that I’ll still want her.”
“You mean, you want a formal contract?”
“Spirit, yes.”
“You’ve been dreaming of this woman, studying her, for years, Sand. She’s got to have a bit to catch up.”
“She doesn’t have a bit. She has a few hours.”
“Of course she has longer than that. It’s not like you can’t woo her after this.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
“Pish.”
“Tav…”
“You’ll find a way. Don’t rush her. Let her know you’re not going anywhere.”
Tavish’s wisdom was like a trumpet blast. He’d done just the opposite, warning her he’d be gone shortly. What a tactical error.
“As for the jealousy, you’ve got to show her how it will be from your angle. When she sees it through your eyes, it will affect her understanding of sharing you.”
Shay, wrapped around Tavish, face slack with pleasure, skin glowing with power.
“Shit.”
Tavish grinned an indolent pirate grin.
Sand pointed a stern finger at him. “Keep your brain off of her.”
“Uh-huh. What about my partner? Any more luck with that?”
“I have a lead actually. Something that happened yesterday with Shay made me think of a new way to adjust through the choices. If Cullen didn’t switch sides it would be easier, you know.”
“Pish. More options this way, for the best match to us.”
Sand rubbed his eyes, wearily. He felt drained in the aftermath of his fury. “Thanks for the advice, Tavish.”
“Anytime.”
The men looked at each other. Nodded. Sand disconnected.
He went to work out. Forgetting the weights, he harnessed himself to the elastic band and did a brutal cardio sprint set. When he was thoroughly sweaty, he dragged himself to the bathroom. Shay was exiting. She froze. Her eyes were red, dammit.
“I’d like to talk to you.”
She nodded. “Of course,” she said calmly. Surely she wasn’t going to act as if nothing had happened.
“I need to shower first. I’ll come to your room in a minute.”
She nodded again, slipped past him.
He sanitized quickly. His time in the shower was full of flashbacks of her face caught up in passion. Her teeth just peeping past her flushed lips, her eyes squeezed shut. For so long he’d seen her veiled, composed. Why had he wasted even this hour on his pride and her fear? The flush on her chest, the sheen of sweat, the glimmer of her fine body hair in the low light.
When he entered the room he remembered the vision of her spread backside poised on the altar. No such vision greeted him today. She’d taken the cotton off and sat nude on one lounge. Legs crossed, arms crossed, cradling those berry nipples.
He sat on a lounge opposite her. He’d thought the words would come out stiff and fake, but it was suddenly easy to say. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “Me too.”
There was no use trying to work her around to believing him. He would simply give her the truth and trust that she recognized it. “Shay, I’ve loved you for years.”
She pulled her head back a bit. The unconscious reaction sent a pain to his breastbone.
“Yes. I realize you haven’t had time to understand that. I’m sorry you don’t believe my feelings are real. But I’ll wait for you. I’ll prove myself to you.”
“You don’t owe me that kind of allegiance, Sand.”
“This isn’t about gratitude, or obligation. I worked up a portfolio on all available tree singers. I saw that you were not only a good fit, but virtually perfect, as if your beliefs and interests were tailored to fit with Tavish, Cullen and me. I studied your portfolio, I watched vid of you singing, I interviewed people who knew you, and once I even spied on you, watching you transfer from your compound to your car on the way to a job. I’m not sure when my fascination became love, but it did.
“I love the intelligent woman who spends her time thinking of others, who openly dares to worship Spirit. I love the woman brave enough to challenge the status quo, in public. I love the woman smart enough to realize what we’re trying to do is as necessary as it is crazy. It’s you, Shay-non. Your elegant poise, your dedication, your vision.”
A pretty blush rode her cheeks, cascaded down her neck as he spoke. “This is sudden for me, Sand.”
“I spoke to Tavish today. He gave me some advice. He said to talk to you about my feelings regarding you and the ceremony, and he also said to go down on you.”
Her face softened. “Good advice. Let’s do it in order though. Feelings first.”
“If I have to contract with other women, it will be a duty. Something I’m doing out of dedication to this cause I’ve joined. I’ll respect them, I’ll honor the contract and I’ll do everything in my power to avoid it in the first place. Because my heart belongs to you.”
Her face closed up agai
n, eyes shaded by lowered lids.
He became committed to never taking another contract. “I want to seal a formal contract with you. I didn’t say that yesterday to lure you into some horrible, manipulative lie. I wouldn’t do that to a powerful woman helping us on such a dangerous quest. I’m telling the truth. I’m sorry I’m rushing you. I’ll try to give you more time.
“When I said we couldn’t have further contact, I meant it, but I think I won’t be able to help it. I’ll be so lonely without you. I can’t go back to just watching from afar. We’ll find a way to keep in touch, and I’ll find a way to see you, even if it’s at a formal function.”
The variables he’d have to juggle, the information outlets, the spy networks, the lattice cue points he’d have to manipulate… His brain spun with all that would need to take place just for him to circulate in the same air with her and not draw anyone’s attention. How soon could he manage it? Next week? Tomorrow?
She licked her lips. “That’s too dangerous.”
“You’re worth it. To reassure you that I’m still there, that I’m waiting for you, would be worth it.
“Hopefully, the other partners I find can be approached by Cullen or Tavish. I’ll work hard to make that happen. Eventually, we’ll all have to meet, because we’ll have to be ready for the binding ceremony.”
His voice slowed, lowered, as he forced his fears out into the world. Speaking them made them that much closer. Tell her. Make her believe in you. “I believe in this plan enough to commit to it body and soul. I’m going to give all of myself over to it when the time comes, despite the fact that I’m…I’m—I know that I’ll have to…”
She leaned forward, reaching out a finely shaped, slender white hand. He took it. “I’m terrified of being with Cullen and Tav.” An image of his two friends kissing struck his mind, Tav’s large hands clasping Cullen’s creamy blond curls, holding him in place. “And sick at imagining you with them. I’m going to try to sink into the moment, and find the love I have for Spirit, and the desire to share that, and I’ll get it done.”
“You’re scared?”
“I vary between overwhelmed, nauseated and disturbed at how interested I am.” He let her adjust to that.
Shay took her hand back, looking thoughtful. “You’re talking about a thrice binding.”