“Fine. I understand that. But I’m still not going to buy it from you. I’ll loan you the money. I’ll use the land as collateral if that’ll make you feel better. That way you can take your time getting set up before you start having to make payments to me.”
Tears of relief welled in her eyes. Quinn swiped them away with the back of her hand. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much, Jacob. I promise I won’t spend any more than I have to. I’d rather do whatever I can on my own.”
Jacob laughed. “I’m not worried. If there’s something you’re not, Quinn, it’s an extravagant spender. I trust you.”
“Then keep your fingers crossed that I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew. Kidding.” She gave him a wicked wink.
“What are you going to tell Craig?”
Quinn quickly sobered. “We talked last night on the phone. I told him that he needed to find someone else. Made a few suggestions. He didn’t give me much of a fight. Have you talked to him?”
“Nope. Wasn’t much time for talking yesterday.”
“Don’t be too hard on him. Okay? He’s got enough on his plate. Me bailing on him isn’t going to help.”
“I won’t. You tell me what you need. I’ve got people I can talk to who’ll come in and get that barn going.”
Quinn smiled, but she didn’t feel the joy she should have. “You’re the best brother. Thank you.”
***
“She’s not here?”
Craig had given Quinn a week to cool down before he couldn’t take not seeing her, try to talk sense into her one last time. He knew before he left the Shady H that it was probably wrong, that he should give her the space she asked for, but he couldn’t give up so easily. Not that Marisol had any sudden change of heart. She had given him the silent treatment ever since they returned from the hospital. He supposed he deserved it. He didn’t want the same from Quinn.
Though he understood her need to put distance between them, giving her notice as manager of Emerald was nuts. She didn’t have to do that for him, for Marisol, or for herself. They could work it out.
“No,” Scott repeated. The boy looked increasingly uncomfortable with his role of the messenger. “She spends a few hours a day over there. Getting stuff fixed up.”
“Before I’ve replaced her?” Not that he was upset that she was already hard at work fixing up the old homestead on Long Knife Creek Ranch. He didn’t doubt that she was giving him his money’s worth, but he didn’t want her to do anything drastic.
Like rebuilding an entire ranch.
“She isn’t slacking off here. Really, Mr. Lynch, she gets up a few hours early to work here and stays up late. She puts in plenty of hours.”
He sighed. “I know. Don’t worry, I’m not worried about her not pulling her weight.” It was the fact she wasn’t facing their problems. She’d run away from them. As far as she was concerned there was no “them”. Not anymore. He hadn’t given up, though.
“Okay then,” he muttered. Now what? Let her continue on? Not like he could tell her she couldn’t quit her job at Emerald. No one was going to tell Quinn what to do. So, he’d carry on and hope that everything would sort itself out. “If you need anything let me know.”
That was one fence to remain unmended. Now he had another one to deal with. An apology to Jacob for the scene he’d been a part of a few nights ago and for messing up with his sister.
Jacob was down in the barn with Doc Tolson. He didn’t look all too happy to see Craig when he walked in, but moved away from Doc and put out his hand. Craig took it.
“So she’s really rebuilding your old place?” Craig asked, though he really didn’t need an answer.
Jacob’s face turned hard and Craig couldn’t blame him. If he had a little sister, he’d probably be pissed off if his much older buddy came along and broke her heart. It would’ve been difficult enough dealing with the falling in love part, but the way things turned out… Jacob had every right to be angry.
“She’s good at redirecting her energy. And she has plenty of that right now.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to cause problems.”
“You know, a week ago I was ready to lay you flat on the ground. Little sisters, well, they’re sacred territory. But I figure Quinn would’ve done the same to me. Still, what were you thinking?”
“Honestly, I’m thinking I’m in love with her. What happened with Robby and Marisol doesn’t change that fact, Jacob. Whether you like it or not.” No point trying to play down his emotions.
“Can’t say I’m jumping up and down with glee,” Jacob admitted. “Despite her tough girl attitude, she’s got a sensitive side that hurts easily. Not that she’ll show it off to anyone, but it’s there. I don’t like seeing her hurt, not by anyone.”
Craig nodded. He deserved this. “It’s not my intention to do that. You know me, Jacob. I’ve never been one for getting into idle relationships.”
“It’s been a long time since you’ve been around,” Jacob replied. The tone of his voice remained cool, but he regarded Craig with a steady gaze. Not hostile, just wary. “I don’t think a man can change his character too much. You were always a family man at heart and I can see that with your daughter. You can’t force anything with Quinn any more than you can force anything with Marisol. You got two women pulling you in two different directions. I don’t envy you one bit. Quinn’s doing you a favor by keeping her distance. Take advantage of the time she’s giving you. Get things right with Marisol. Quinn’s not going anywhere. When she’s ready, if you still feel the same about her and she’s still in love with you, then maybe Marisol will have had enough time to accept it.”
“Damn, Jacob. When did you get so wise? You’re going to make a great father someday.”
“Someday. Don’t rush me yet,” Jacob said with a grin that lightened the mood.
“Well, when that day arrives, you’ll be ready.”
“I know Quinn. Let her do her thing. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be”
“That’s for sure. I’ll think of something she won’t be able to resist."
“Quinn doesn’t need grand gestures. Just time. Give it to her.”
***
He didn’t realize the time she needed would stretch out for as long as it did. He’d stopped counting, but Craig figured Quinn had him in blackout mode for at least four weeks. She kept him updated on the day to day business of Emerald, including the progress she and her trainer friend was making with Fire. Each email blatantly lacked any feeling. If he stopped in, she conveniently wouldn’t be there. Scott was her representative. Thank goodness the boy had a good head on his shoulders. Craig hoped Scott would stay at Emerald after Quinn left, but he had a feeling the boy’s allegiance was strictly with Quinn.
Her absence ate at him and came at any odd hour, while out working with the cattle, mending a fence, making breakfast. His need for her would rear its head and wouldn’t let itself be ignored. There were tough times when all he wanted to do was throw something, let the pain out. How in the world could she just walk away from what they had? How in the world did he come to love her so damned much that it felt like a knife slicing into him whenever he thought about the times they spent together?
He forced himself not to think about her in that way. Instead, he pushed himself out on the ranch, working longer than he should’ve, until he was dead tired.
Besides the ranch, Craig dedicated himself mostly to Marisol. Luckily, school started soon after the trail ride and the work and meeting new people got her mind off what had happened. Craig wondered if she found satisfaction in Quinn’s absence. He wouldn’t know because his daughter didn’t mention Quinn’s name even once over the weeks that followed the disastrous ride.
She had come around on a few things, though. Like Sunny. As soon as her ribs and arm healed enough, her interest in riding returned. He noted the strong affection she had for her horse and that relieved part of his mind. Except for those first few days, she hadn’t even mentioned want
ing to return to Washington. There was hope. He picked up with her lessons where Quinn left off, but more times than not, they both went out on the prairie for rides as he continued to introduce her to life on the ranch, the workings of her land.
School was a big hit. Maybe because she was the daughter of the famous Elise Hahn-Lynch and the almost as famous author Craig Lynch, or maybe being from another part of the country made her seem exotic. Whatever the reason, she wasn’t subjected to the same cast-out experiences as most new kids. Her instant celebrity did her good. She basked in it though she didn’t let it go too much to her head.
Settling into a normal life with his daughter, making the ranch work and finding a new manager for Emerald, didn’t keep him busy enough. Didn’t dull the pain he constantly felt because of Quinn’s absence. In the beginning, he believed it would pass, but he was wrong. It became blatantly obvious, especially at night when he lay in bed and couldn’t sleep; there was no escaping his longing for her.
Two weeks after the fiasco on the prairie, Robby came to his door, eyes cast down, head lowered, looking miserable and sorry. With hat in hand, he reminded Craig of a ten-year-old boy who’d broken the neighbor’s window.
Craig didn’t care how hangdog his little brother looked. Fresh rage, rage he wasn’t used to, swelled inside him. He couldn’t be angry with Marisol for how she felt, for the way she chose to show it. She was a child and everything hit harder for her. Robby, however, was supposed to be a grown up. He should’ve been able to control himself. He should’ve been able to shut the hell up and handle things like a mature adult.
Two weeks of missing Quinn had chewed Craig up, clawing to get out and the sight of Robby, standing there looking like he was the victim, opened some cage and let the beast out.
Craig stepped onto the porch, grabbed his brother by the collar of his shirt and shoved him against the wall.
“Craig, what the fuck,” Robby choked out as Craig’s fist rose in the air. “Come on, man.”
Craig’s mind cleared a bit, and his fist paused. He wanted to get one in, just one solid blow that would hurt like hell. Not like it would match the constant pain he’d been in.
Would it kill the pain? Would laying Robby flat out make the emptiness go away? Would it bring Quinn back?
Craig dropped his arm, but kept Robby pinned against the wall.
“You’re an asshole,” Craig ground out.
“I am. A big one,” Robby agreed.
“You should’ve just kept your mouth shut and moved on. She told you enough times that she didn’t want you back.”
“Plenty of times. Craig, man, you’re choking me. Can you loosen up a little?”
“You know how much trouble you caused? If you kept your damned mouth shut everyone would be getting used to us being together.” Craig eased his hold, but didn’t release Robby. “Instead, I got a daughter who’s broken hearted, and the woman I love won’t even see me. God knows if we can even start over again. She was good for us. Both of us. She and Marisol were friends and now, well if you’d seen…”
He stopped and let go of Robby. He turned away and faced the prairie. Autumn had arrived and the land had lost most of its green. Gold and auburn had settled in. Every time he looked out onto it, with the setting sun shimmering down on the waving grass, he thought of Quinn, her long chestnut hair. The same damned color. He sat down hard on the top step and rested his chin on his fist.
“I was madder than hell, for a long time.” Robby’s voice was quiet as he took a seat next to him. “Still don’t think I acted in a way totally wrong. Well, maybe the junk I said. That was wrong. I’m not going to say I’m sorry for laying you out that night. Felt damned good. You might not believe it, but I did love her. She’s not a woman a man forgets easily. I’m sure you understand that.”
Craig nodded his agreement.
“I’m not sorry about hitting you, but I am sorry about what I said. None of it was true. And I’m sorry about where I said it. Should’ve kept it ‘til later. When no one else was around. Including Q.” He rubbed his chin as if he still felt the shot she took at him. “I’m sorry about how Marisol took the news. She’s a good kid and I know she adored Quinn. Neither of them deserved what they got.”
With that, Robby got up and walked down the stairs, not saying goodbye, not looking back. Craig stayed put, watching Robby drive away before turning his attention back to the prairie. No doubt Quinn was seeing the shifting colors, the lone hawk that drifted in a wide circle against the pale blue sky. They should have been experiencing it together.
Behind him, the door opened. Marisol. Damn, did she witness another confrontation? This time Craig could only blame himself. He expected an angry child, expected condemnation in her hazel eyes, but instead she sat down next to him and took his hand in hers.
“It’s really pretty out there today,” she commented. “Can we go for a ride?”
***
After the turn in their relationship, Robby would come by a few nights a week to hang out, talk about his new job waiting tables at a restaurant the next town over. It wasn’t anywhere near as fulfilling as ranch work, and he vowed he’d get Jacob to give him his job back, no matter what.
“I hear her barn is just about finished.” Robby commented. They were sitting on the front porch, each with a beer, two weeks after Robby first showed up on Craig’s front step. “She talk to you yet? About what happened?”
“Not a word. Unless it’s about business, and only then in the form of an email.”
This was the first time, in two weeks, that he’d had a conversation with anyone about Quinn. On one hand, he longed to talk about her, get everything out in the open, but it still felt like ripping open a wound that had only begun to heal.
“Me neither. I’m not exactly welcome over at Long Knife Creek. Just plain sucks. I’d take that night back if I could. You know that, don’t you? No excuses for what happened. I was a jealous ass. Guess I still am, but, well, I never meant to chase her away. Damn.”
“Guess she needed time to think.”
“Wonder if she’ll talk to either of us after she gets her place set up.”
Behind them, at the door, Craig heard a deep sigh. He turned around and saw Marisol standing there. Before he could say anything, she turned around and disappeared into the dark house.
“Sorry. Didn’t know she was there.”
“S’okay.”
“Does she talk about it at all?”
“Never a word. Sometimes she gets sad and I’m not sure why. Yesterday after school, I found her down in the paddock taking Sunny around the barrels. That’s the first time since Quinn… Well, might not mean anything, but I wonder if she’s missing her a little. She likes going over to Long Knife Creek Ranch, hangs out with Thea. Thea thinks Marisol misses a woman’s company. A few times she’s slipped and talked about Quinn, but Thea doesn’t push her. Says it might be good for Marisol to get it out of her system, though, talk about how she feels about everything now.”
“Hope so. Quinn is a good woman. I know she thought a lot of Marisol. Those things I said, about Quinn not measuring up to Elise. I shouldn’t have. With all due respect to your wife, who by the way, rocked, well, Quinn, in her own way, rocks just as much.”
Craig chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
Robby drew a long sip from his beer. “Wish she’d been interested in me, but I guess I had my shot and blew it. That’s the one thing about Quinn, though, if you hurt her she doesn’t forgive easily.”
Those were cold words. Maybe true, Craig didn’t know. Maybe he’d never know because it seemed like Quinn was never going to see them again.
Craig wasn’t the only one who dwelt on the subject. For the next two weeks, Marisol went out daily on Sunny, working on her barrel racing. It may have had more to do with the friendly competition between herself and Bonnie, but Craig had a feeling something else drove his daughter. He didn’t press it though.
He couldn’t have been more
surprised when Marisol brought it up. Once school started up, it became their habit for her to do her homework in his office while he worked on the ranch accounts. That’s what they’d always done while on the road, and living in Washington. They’d fallen back into that natural pattern. Tonight he noticed her restlessness though, and when he looked up from his monitor, he saw her drawing spirals on the cover of her notebook.
“Everything okay?”
“Mmm.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Marisol shrugged a shoulder but didn’t look up. For a moment, Craig thought she wouldn’t say anything. He didn’t want to push her into a conversation. Could’ve been boy trouble at school, in which case he didn’t think he could help her anyway. He refocused on the computer.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“You miss her, don’t you?” Her voice sounded small, far away.
Craig looked up sharply. She stared at her notebook, still drawing those spirals.
“Miss who? Mom?”
“No. Quinn. You miss her, don’t you?”
He hesitated before he spoke and realized his first reaction was to lie. But not facing the truth, not being open with Marisol in the very beginning got them into this mess in the first place. “Yeah, I do. A lot.”
Marisol looked up. Her eyes were wide, sad. He didn’t like it much, but he didn’t regret telling the truth.
“You know, I do too. She was so much fun and taught me a lot. I never figured I’d want her to come around again, but I kind of wish she would.”
Craig smiled at her. Progress. “I’m sure she will. She still works over at Emerald, at least until she’s ready to move over to her new place. And that isn’t far away either. A short ride from here.”
For a long moment Marisol didn’t speak. She worked on a thought in her head. Her brow furrowed and she bit her bottom lip. Whatever she had on her mind, it wasn’t coming easily.
“I’m sorry, Dad. About all those things I said. I didn’t want to think you could love someone like you loved Mom. I didn’t want to think Mom could be replaced.”
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