by Temre Beltz
55. Though broomsticks tend to be an obedient and patient sort, they have one highly notable quirk: they are egregiously cranky if woken from a deep sleep. This is not the sort of cranky you may have experienced from your little brother when he tucks the blankets ever more tightly around himself, squishes the pillow over his head, and grumbles, “Go away.” This is instead the sort of cranky that involves a wee bit of bristle thumping and possibly some potent magic gone awry. In short: it is never worth it to disturb a sleeping broomstick.
56. Since we have discovered together the great value of true things, it seems only fair to mention that this fact is likely true. As was mentioned before, dragons go to great lengths to avoid the citizens of Wanderly. It’s possible their best attribute is something as nuanced as tap-dancing or archery, and we just don’t know it yet. But certainly all can agree that to achieve such significant aerial heights while boasting of an enormous size is no small thing.
57. Though these famished witches still appeared properly terrifying, it shouldn’t go unnoticed their eyes were a bit bloodshot, their clothes a bit rumpled and stained, and several of their long witchy bootlaces were sloppily untied and even half chewed because—in light of Birdie’s marvelous plan at Castle Matilda—they had endured a nearly endless (and wholly unsuccessful) night of animal wrangling. So much so that they unanimously agreed there would be no more “live” prizes at the next Annual Witches’ Ball (or ever).
58. And this, right here, might be the truest explanation of why witches are so dreadfully wary of children. If you think back to your preschool days, or if you are lucky enough to have a younger brother or sister, consider what happens when you hand a three-year-old an open container of glitter? So you see, whether in your world or mine, even the smallest of children are extraordinarily well-equipped to deal with the fiercest of foes.
59. The Francesca Prickleboo of a mere few days ago might have taken one look at her humiliating new shoes and plummeted straight off the Plank in utter distress. But things are quite different when one has friends. And ofttimes an event that threatens to be devastating merely becomes yet another experience to endure together. And perhaps even find something to snicker about along the way.
60. You may be worrying an endless sentence of blueberry picking is not nearly enough of a punishment for the likes of Mistress Octavia. But have you ever happened to eat a pickle-bologna-and-jelly sandwich? Have you ever tasted a hot-dog milkshake topped with a dollop of sour cream and sprinkled with pepper? That is how Tragic Mountain’s blueberries smelled to Mistress Octavia. And she had to pick ten thousand a day, and perhaps forever. I hope this makes you feel a bit better.
61. You truly are an impeccable reader. I can likely count on my hand the number of readers who would turn the page after the last page. Bravo!
62. Indeed, there is no wrong way to enjoy a book. Books take as much delight in being creatively read as in being creatively written.
63. If you wish to test me on this, simply flip back to the page where our adventure together first began.