by Cathy Porter
17th. I spent my name day happily. Andryusha came with his wife and little daughter, and Sasha with her woman doctor friend, and my grandchildren played and enjoyed themselves all day long.
18th November. I am sewing a blanket for the refugees. Tanya went to Zaseka and came back with a terrible account of their poverty; the children go to school barefoot, many of the women have nothing but thin blouses and short little skirts to wear. I again made notes for My Life. It’s hard sometimes to relive the old life!
19th. I devoted the day to finishing my notes for 1898. This evening Nina read me a critical article about Sienkiewicz, and the beginning of his novel Quo Vadis.*
24th (Moscow). I left for Moscow. Problems with tickets—they had trouble finding me a seat. I travelled with some officers and an army doctor who were home on leave. I am staying at the Slavonic Bazaar on Nikolskaya Street. This evening I went to a quartet recital in memory of Taneev.
2nd December. I left this morning in an excellent compartment, comfortable and spacious. I found both Tanyas in good health and spirits and am overjoyed to be back.
7th. Dushan Petrovich Makovitsky has returned here from prison.*
22nd. My son Lyova arrived early this morning. He curses himself for gambling and living such a disorderly life, but it doesn’t make him stop! Yet he has so many good qualities! This evening we read his play.* Gloomy, but clever.
1916
Lull in fighting until March, while arms supply improves. June—new offensive along Austrian front, with some two million Russian deaths and injuries. Mobilization creates havoc in agriculture, industry and transport. December—Rasputin murdered.
February—Andrei Tolstoy dies of pleurisy. Yasnaya Polyana, like other large estates, deteriorates. Ilya Tolstoy leaves his wife and children and emigrates to the United States.
19th January. My son Ilya arrived with two people who want to make a cinematographic film of the story ‘What People Live for’.* One appears to be a Jew, the other is a boy of 16. I walked to the grave today and felt a little calmer.
20th. Ilya and the visitors walked around the estate taking photographs for the film. One of them, an actor playing an angel, stood naked in the snow!
11th February. Dreadful news of Andryusha, who is ill with a high fever. The days pass quickly and uneventfully. Bulgakov is leaving for Gusev’s tonight with Dushan Petrovich’s memoirs. It would have been better to post them.
17th. There are no trains from Tula to Moscow this week, as they’re letting a military cargo through. I am planning to leave for Petersburg with Lyova to see Andryusha, and am packing my bags. Andryusha begged Katya to ask me to go there. He is evidently very ill.
18th. Lyova and I left for Petrograd, via Tula. Unimaginably crowded trains. We were given two first-class tickets apparently by mistake, and squeezed ourselves into a compartment with two men who were extremely courteous and obliging. At 8 a.m. we were given our own compartment, and slept until late morning. I stayed with the Kuzminskys, Lyova with his family. Andryusha looks very ill and I am dreadfully worried.
19th. The doctors keep repeating the same senseless words: “It’s serious but there’s no danger at present.” He has pleurisy and a bad liver. His breathing is laboured, he is a greenish-yellow colour, he shrieks and groans continuously, and three or four times a day he is racked by a fierce, agonizing chill.
22nd. I suggested he should receive the Eucharist. He calmly consented, and when the priest came he confessed in a loud voice, repeating the responses and kissing everyone. He grew tired, and towards evening started shivering again.
23rd. Andryusha has been unconscious all day. His breathing is agonizingly laboured.
24th. Andryusha died at 10 minutes past one in the morning. It was on the 23rd that Vanechka died.
26th. A splendid, brilliant funeral. Masses of wreathes, a crowded church. It was like a dream. Seryozha arrived late. We buried him at the Nikolskoe cemetery of the Alexander Nevsky Monastery.
9th March. There has been a strong wind howling all day. Where is my Andryusha now!
23rd. It’s very sad that Lyova’s family life has broken down, but it’s pleasant to have him living here, especially now that Tanya has left for the trial.*
26th. They have written to us from Krapivna ordering us to take in three prisoners of war. I added my signature to those of the other women protesting against the sinking of the Portugal.*
27th. I sent for the prisoners of war, four Romanians, who arrived on government horses.
29th. I coloured my children’s drawings again, and sit in silence for hours on end, my heart aching for Andryusha.
30th. I heard today that the two Tanechkas won’t be coming for another month, and that all the Tolstoyans, apart from Seryozha Popov, have been acquitted.*
16th April. This evening my son Misha arrived, looking well. He is leaving again for this cursed war on the 25th.
10th May. This afternoon I invited a Molokan to tea—an interesting old man who used to visit Lev Nik.
14th. There were a lot of visitors—three officers and 28 common folk from the co-operative society.
23rd. My grandson Andryusha Ilich came. He has two George Crosses from the war.
26th. News of 30,000 soldiers taken prisoner, and a battle in which all of our officers were killed.
29th. A vast number of visitors—workers from a metal factory, a great many soldiers with their officer and his wife.
18th June. Sasha’s birthday. Where is she now, I wonder? I wrote down some information about the beginning and end of my marriage to Lev Nikolaevich, and became dreadfully agitated.
7th July. Today, 7th July, is a great day—my daughter Sasha returned from the war. She looked cheerful and healthy, thank God, and we listened to her stories all evening.
18th. Sasha has gone off to war again. It was very painful to see her go, worse than before.
24th. Today is the Kuzminskys’ 49th wedding anniversary. They’ve never been very happy together! My sister was telling me only recently that she never truly loved him.
6th August. I had a visit this evening from my grandson Ilya Ilich Tolstoy, who has just finished at the Naval Academy. Such a nice young man.
9th. Spent the day in Tula with Nina and wrote a new will.* It breaks my heart to see the soldiers and hear them singing.
6th September. We had a visit from two Japanese men, a journalist and an artist; they had lunch with us, looked around the house with great interest and asked a great many questions. One of them spoke Russian, the other a little French. Lyova has written a memorandum for the Tsar called ‘On Fixed Prices’, and wants to give it to him in person.
11th. Today was a happy day. First my two Tanechkas came, then Seryozha arrived with Orlov. Fascinating conversations, then Seryozha played some Indian songs and an Arabian dance on the piano.
22nd October. 33 tourists, final-year students from Malakhovka, came to visit. I showed them Lev Nik.’s rooms, and Tanya gave them tea and something to eat in the wing. Then they all went out to the meadow, played games, sang songs and visited the grave.
3rd November. Lyova has returned with new plans to travel to India and China and give lectures. Ilya has just left for America with the same thing in mind.* I have a lot of grief in store—if I don’t die soon.
5th. I am living through my last days with Lyova before his latest mad scheme—a journey through China and India. Today there is to be a Tolstoy evening in Moscow, organized by Tanya in aid of the Tolstoy Museum,* and on the 7th there will be another evening to commemorate Lev Nik.’s death.
6th. I played Schubert’s Tragic Symphony as a duet with Varya. Lovely. I was interested to read the article about the Tolstoy evening organized by the Tolstoy Society. Tomorrow is the anniversary of his death; it’s sad to recall the tragic events of that period.
7th. I visited the grave first thing this morning with some chrysanthemums and primulas. Our visitors today were an old woman and two young Slavs. Every city in Russia i
s organizing evenings in memory of L.N. Tolstoy.
8th. Varya and I played Mozart’s Eighth Symphony as a duet, followed by Haydn’s Twelfth. They’re both lovely. I read Rolland’s Vie de Tolstoï and did some newspaper cuttings.
11th. An unbearably sad parting with Lyova today. He has brought so much to our lives—music, ideas and a good, gentle attitude to life. How talented he is, and what a good disposition he has! Yet he is so wretched and unstable.
21st December. I am engrossed in the newspapers. The war, the murder of Rasputin, the chaos in the government—it fascinates and horrifies me.
29th. Visitors to Lev Nikolaevich’s rooms all morning. It must be pleasant to feel this deep love for him—especially if one is young. People are always astonished by the simplicity of our life here.
31st. We all saw in the New Year together, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. But my heart was grieving for my children—Ilya in America, Lyova on his way to Japan, Sasha at war and Misha about to leave any day now. And Andryusha no more! Thank God I still have Seryozha, Tanya and my darling grandchildren. The end of the sad year of 1916!
1917
8th March, Women’s Day—women demonstrate in their thousands on streets of newly renamed Petrograd. Strikes, demonstrations and “food riots” become more violent, with buildings set on fire. 16th March—Tsar abdicates, his government is toppled and a new “Provisional” Government of liberal landowners is formed. The Soviet is resurrected and challenges the power of the Provisional Government. Spring—revolutionaries amnestied and many (including Lenin) return to Russia. June—Provisional Government urges on Russian soldiers against Germans; strikes and demonstrations in the towns reach massive proportions. July—unsuccessful attempt by soldiers, sailors and workers to seize power. 25th and 26th October—Bolsheviks take power at the Second All-Russian Congress of Soviets, and declare an end to war with no annexations or indemnities. December—armistice signed with Germany, while Trotsky and others attempt to persuade the German High Command at Brest Litovsk to accept Bolshevik peace terms. France, Britain, Japan and the United States prepare to attack Soviet Russia.
Angry peasants return from front and loot and burn estates near Yasnaya Polyana. Summer—looters driven off by staff brandishing pickaxes, and Sofia Tolstoy applies to the Provisional Government for armed protection. One hundred men dispatched to protect the property, and the Governor of Tula is requested to pay special attention to her needs. Sofia’s daughter Tanya moves in with her young daughter (also Tanya, or Tanechka). Sergei Tolstoy gives a series of concerts, which receive good reviews. Tolstoy Museum agrees to bring out new Complete Collected Works, edited by his children Sasha and Sergei Tolstoy, and others.
19th January. Our old nurse, Anna Sukolyonova, died at midnight last night, and the nuns are now reading the psalter over her body. What grief! I lived with her for 35 years, and it was time for her to leave this life—she was 88. I coached my darling Tanechka; I am reading a lot.
21st. We buried Nurse today; the little place by the window where she always sat and greeted me is now empty, and I feel so sad.
23rd. I cannot rid my heart of anxieties about my children, especially Lyova, who is the most unstable and unhappy of them.
2nd February. I paid the workmen’s salaries. I feel very sorry for the working people, and would love to feed and clothe them and show them some affection—especially the children.
3rd. Workers at the Tula ordnance factory are on strike. They have to stand in queues to buy food, and when they’re late for work they’re fined. Where’s the justice in that?
17th. Terribly upset by Tanya’s account of Lyova’s gambling losses in Moscow before he left for Japan. How dreadful! A new weight on my heart.
1st March. An unexpected visit from Seryozha Popov, who was tried with Bulgakov and Dushan Petrovich and has just left prison. A new Provisional Government has been established. Frightful news of people killed in Petrograd when they rioted for bread.
3rd. I read the paper carefully to find out about the change of government and the authority of the new State Duma. Everyone is in a tense and expectant mood.
5th. An important day for Yasnaya Polyana. Workers from the Sudakovo iron foundry arrived with red flags and badges to pay their respects to Tolstoy’s house and widow. Bearing portraits of Lev Nik., they tramped through deep snow in a biting wind to the grave. My two Tanyas went too. The workers sang and made speeches about “freedom”, and I replied with a short speech about L.N.’s legacy. Then everyone sang ‘Eternal Memory’ and took photographs.
6th. I sent Russian Word my article about the workers’ demonstration yesterday.
7th. A little soldier boy was sent here by Sasha to collect four copies of the Complete Collected Works of L.N. Tolstoy. The new freedom doesn’t make me happy—everything frightens me.
11th. I was shocked to receive a letter from my sister Tanya informing me that her husband had died. He had already embraced death long ago, with his quiet, mild, affectionate attitude to all those around him. My sister wasn’t with him—she had gone to a sanatorium.
20th. Dushan Petrovich read us Lev Nik.’s ‘Our Revolution’* this evening.
4th April. There were a great many visitors to the house and Lev Nik.’s rooms. A militiaman dictated to me a letter applying for a policeman to protect me. Dushan Petrovich’s relatives came to visit. We now have some Slovak prisoners here.
5th. I conscientiously read all the newspapers. Everything is so frightening—the war and the famine; there’s menace in the air.
10th. I cannot rid myself of this gnawing anguish. Nothing can awaken my soul now or call it back to life—neither spring, nor my former happiness, music or art. My only pleasure now is having my two Tanyas living with me, but they’ll be leaving soon for their home in Ovsyannikovo.
12th. Sasha and Varya Mikhailovna have arrived. Sasha is just the same, thank God, with the same loud, cheerful laugh. I’m delighted she came, but also wish she hadn’t, since she’ll be here for only two days, and we have waited and worried about her for so long.
15th. Sasha went off to the front again with Varvara Mikhailovna; she was full of energy and high spirits, and I had to force myself not to cry.
18th. Some professional and industrial workers from Sudakovo came to visit with a wreath tied with red ribbon from some soldiers. They carried some magnificent red flags embroidered in gold and silver, and played music which the crowd could understand. It’s strange to hear the ‘Marseillaise’ played here in Russia. They made speeches, then all went off to the grave, and there were more speeches—from a schoolboy, an Italian and a Czech.
19th. 16 soldiers came to see the house and visit the grave. An engineer from Sudakovo called Parshin visited with books for the library.
23rd. Life is dull and pointless and there’s little joy in it—apart from my two Tanechkas. The moment I got up today I had to deal with the day-labourers’ wages, the widows’ pensions, visitors, students, soldiers, officers. The officers were most sympathetic, and said people visited Yasnaya Polyana as Christians visited Jerusalem and Mohammedans Mecca—to pay their respects to a holy place. Terrible news about a peasant murdered by Austrian prisoners.
26th. My son Misha has arrived. He told me a lot of interesting things about the front. The lack of discipline in the troops is terrible, and in general the situation is hopeless.
27th. A mass of visitors. Forty-five schoolboys, five women, four soldiers and several other gentlemen. It has grown warmer and the nightingale is singing. We all had dinner on the veranda together, although everyone brought their own food.
30th. An enormous number of visitors to the house and the grave, all of them soldiers.
30th May. 200 soldiers came on foot to the house, and Ivanov, commander of the regiment, drove up later with his little girl. They were marching to music, and they played very well too, first the ‘Marseillaise’, and at the grave the Funeral March. There were a lot of discussions—about Lev Nik., the royal
family and Chertkov. I invited the commander to dinner, but he declined.
3rd June. I received thanks from Moscow University for donating the Complete Collected Works to them, and they praised my edition as “the best”.
17th. 400 soldiers arrived this morning with their colonel. They marched into the village last night playing music, and today they came to see us. I showed L.N.’s rooms to more than 62 of them.
18th. More visitors to Lev Nik—ch’s rooms—soldiers, Jews, 100 children from Sudakovo and several schoolboys.
25th. I played a Mozart sonata as a duet with my granddaughter Annochka, then we did Beethoven’s 1st Symphony and Weber’s ‘Invitation to the Waltz’. Several guests—ladies, soldiers with their officer and so on. Then the Deputy Minister for Communications, Takhtamyshev, arrived. We gave them tea and berries, and showed them the rooms. The minister had his two sons with him and some friends.