by Lisa Cardiff
He chuckled. “Maybe so, but I gave him the push he needed. He’s not that smart. I planted ideas in his head, and he took the bait.” He shrugged. “Then lo and behold, Ignacio started doubting him, pushing him, and he spiraled in a mess of his own making. Now he’s holed up in some shithole in Panama with that Alvarez whore.”
I didn’t think. I lunged for him. My hand curled into his shirt, and I pinned him against the wall. His head whipped backward, crashing into the wall like a rag doll. The heel of my hand pressed against his windpipe. His eyes bulged. I wanted to kill him. I was so sick of this shit. I didn’t want anything to do with Ignacio, Emanuel, or the Vargas Cartel.
“You think you’re smart enough to manipulate me?”
“I know I am,” he croaked.
“You don’t know anything.”
He spat on my face. Saliva dripped down my cheek. “I got rid of Rever and I’ll get rid of you too if I feel like it. You think Ignacio’s in control, but he’s not. I call all the shots.”
Poison laced laughter exploded from my mouth. “What happened to all that sanctimonious bullshit about not wanting to lead the cartel and being happy with your lot in life?”
“I could wrestle control from Ignacio in a second if I wanted to.” He snapped his fingers. “That should tell you something.”
I slammed his body against the wall. “That I’d be doing Ignacio a favor if I killed you.”
“Rever was too impulsive, and I’m starting to think you’re not much better.”
My fist had a mind of its own. It landed in the dead center of his right cheek. His head jerked to the side. Fire shot up my arm, and my knuckles buckled, but I didn’t care. I welcomed the pain.
“Listen,” I hissed through clenched teeth. “I don’t give a shit about the Vargas Cartel or Ignacio’s legacy. You can have the cartel. I don’t want anything to do with it, but don’t play mind games with me. You won’t win.”
The veins on the side of his neck bulged, and his jaw muscle ticked. “Is that a challenge?”
“Make what you want of it. All I ask is that you stay far away from Hattie and me. When it comes to either of us, keep your opinions to yourself.” I shoved him to the side. “Now get the fuck away from me before I change my mind.”
Emanuel ran his hand down the side of his swollen cheek. “Ignacio won’t like this.”
Smirking, I raised one eyebrow. “What gave you the impression I give a shit what Ignacio does or doesn’t like?”
“What won’t I like?” Ignacio said as he strolled into the room.
“I thought you were sleeping,” Emanuel said, his eyes boring into the wall above Ignacio’s head.
Ignacio leaned his shoulder into the wall, his narrowed eyes boomeranging between Emanuel and me. “How could I sleep with this noise? Now are either of you going to tell me what the hell is going on or do we have to play twenty questions?”
I stuffed my swollen hand in my pocket. Not that it’d conceal what happened. Emanuel’s face looked like he had a third eye growing out of his cheek. “We had a disagreement.”
“A disagreement that ended with your fist in his face,” he said wearily.
I glared at Ignacio. “Something like that.”
He scowled for a second, then his hardened stare cut to Emanuel. “Do you have something to add or did you suddenly become mute?”
Emanuel folded his arms across his chest and drummed his fingers against his biceps. “It was a misunderstanding, but we’re good now.”
“Is that right, Ryker?” Ignacio asked.
“I don’t trust him.” Ignacio sliced his hand through the air in front of him, interrupting me. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I know you trust him, and I know he’s worked for you for a long time, but that doesn’t mean I should trust him with my interests. With the people I care about. I don’t think you should either.”
Emanuel scoffed. “Your cryptic bullshit doesn’t make sense. I know you have a long résumé back in the States, but you don’t know anything about the way things work in Mexico.”
“And you just proved my point.” I pinned Ignacio with my eyes. “He’s trying to undermine me just like he undermined Rever.”
Emanuel chuckled. “You don’t need me to do it. You’re doing a good job all by yourself.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Juan Alvarez is alive. You killed his son. You helped kidnap his daughter. If you intended to escalate the war between the two cartels, you succeeded. This whole mess is going to get a hell of a lot bloodier before it’s put to rest.”
Ignacio’s mouth tugged down in a disapproving frown, and he scrubbed his hand down his face. “I don’t have time to mediate this pissing contest right now. What’s done is done. As for Juan, we’ll figure out how to deal with him later. He’s a sick fuck, but he can’t do anything from his hospital bed. We still have time to come up with a plan.”
I clenched my hands. “But you had time to spill all my secrets to Hattie,” I said bitterly.
Ignacio rolled his eyes and blew out an exaggerated breath. “So what? I ripped the bandage off. It had to be done. You were dragging your feet. You and I both know she doesn’t belong here. The quicker you sever your connection with her, the quicker you’ll learn what you need to know to help me.”
I took a deep breath, struggling to maintain control. “I didn’t need your help with Hattie. I had everything under control until you opened your mouth.”
Ignacio raised one brow. “Really?”
“I planned to talk to her tonight,” I said through gritted teeth. Less than a week with the Vargas Cartel, and I was already losing my sanity. It was like living in a den of poisonous snakes. I couldn’t trust anyone. Not even my own father.
Ignacio stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Then, take care of it. I heard she’s awake now. The last time I checked, your friend Noah was in there with her.”
“He’s not my friend. I hardly know him.”
“Well, Hattie seems to like him. Maybe he’d be willing to take her off your hands.”
Ignacio intended to piss me off. I knew it. He knew it. Unfortunately, the knowledge that he wanted to provoke me didn’t stop the anger from swirling in my gut like the flames of hell.
“Yeah, well, unlike you, I don’t make other people do my dirty work.”
Ignacio’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re smart enough to put the pieces together. Figure it out,” I said as I stalked down the hallway.
I had agreed to Ignacio’s terms, but I couldn’t go through it. It was like all the pieces finally slid into place. I wasn’t going to bend to Ignacio’s will. I made a bargain with him. I gave him my word, but he owed Hattie. He owed me. I considered my debt to him paid in full. Right then, I promised myself, I’d find a way out of the Vargas Cartel’s web or die trying. Life was too short to let Hattie slip through my fingers. If I lost her, then I didn’t have any reason to live. I understood that now.
I needed to fix the mess I’d made. Plain and simple. I promised I’d take care of Hattie, and for some reason, I’d convinced myself that meant pushing her out of my life forever. That might’ve been true on some level, but deep down I knew I wanted and needed her more than anything or anyone. As a kid, I learned if I wanted something I had to fight for it and never give up. In the midst of this whole debacle with Ignacio, I’d forgotten that, but that would change starting right now.
Chapter Fifteen
Hattie
“What the hell are you doing in here?” Ryker roared the minute he walked into the room. The door thudded against the doorstop.
I slowly lifted my gaze from the creamy sheets covering my legs. I’d been drawing circles on the individual threads for the last twenty minutes as I explained bits and pieces of my situation to Noah. I didn’t understand why I decided to unload on him. He’d helped me last night without comment or judgment, and something about his compelling caramel colored eyes convin
ced me to confide in him.
Noah leaned back against the headboard and propped his hands behind his head. His leg brushed against my thigh. Ryker’s gaze laser focused on the brief contact, and his jaw clenched.
“You’re full of sunshine today,” Noah said.
“I asked you a question.”
Noah patted me on my leg, and I turned to look at him. Really look at him. He was cute. No, cute was an understatement. He was downright sexy. He had dark hair, exotic hooded eyes framed by heavy lashes, and lips perpetually curved up at the corners. If my heart hadn’t chained itself irrevocably to Ryker months ago, my stomach might have flipped every time his gaze landed on me. As luck would have it, I felt nothing except a detached appreciation like I was admiring a designer handbag or a beautiful sculpture.
“I’m checking in on our girl. I wanted to make sure she was feeling better. She was pretty out of it when I helped her to bed last night,” Noah answered, a huge smile spreading across his face.
Ryker’s vein ticked in his neck like a time bomb waiting to go off. “Well, you can leave now. I’m sure you have somewhere to be.”
Noah shot me a sideways glance and winked. “I don’t actually. Hattie was just telling me how she wanted to fly backing to the States tomorrow. She needs to find a place to live and get caught up on some requirements to finish her degree. I have some business to take care of in D.C., so I agreed to accompany her and help her get settled. That is, if you’re too busy?”
Ryker’s hands flexed. “You’re leaving?” he barked, his words hanging in the air with the weight of a storm gathering on the horizon.
“That’s the plan,” I replied. I kept my voice empty of emotion, painstakingly ignoring the leaden weight ballooning in the pit of my stomach.
His forehead scrunched. “You weren’t going to discuss this with me first.”
I blinked away the urge to cry. Since the doctor left two hours ago, I’d been on an emotional rollercoaster. “Noah, can you give us some space? Ryker and I need to talk.”
“Sure,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll be around here all day if you want to finish our conversation.” He kissed me on the top of my head and jumped out of the bed. I could still smell a whiff of sandalwood as I watched him disappear down the hallway.
Ryker settled into a chair in the corner of the room, his long legs bent at a ninety-degree angle. He propped his elbows on this knees and knitted his fingers together. His shirt pulled against his wide shoulders. Lines bracketed his mouth. Even vibrating with anger, his graceful movements drew me to him like a magnet. I couldn’t look away. Somehow, he magically soothed and unnerved me at the same time.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” His voice dropped a fraction. “Why you’re trying to run away without talking to me?”
If I weren’t so frustrated with him, I would feel guilty about considering Noah’s offer to accompany me back to D.C., but given Ignacio’s revelations I refused to second-guess my actions. Ryker’s feelings were the least of my problems. I had to pull my life together and figure out how I was going to raise a kid alone. Ignacio didn’t come out and say Ryker planned to kick me out of his life, but I knew it was only a matter of days. The writing was on the wall last night, but I’d been too blinded by my need for him to see the truth.
I didn’t doubt Ryker’s love for me. He would’ve let me rot in that shitty house with the Alvarez Cartel if didn’t love me. Instead, he sacrificed his future for me. But even knowing all that, I was paralyzed at the thought of moving forward without him. Once again, my future had been ripped out from underneath me, and I was damn sick of it.
I shrugged. “Why don’t you go first? You’re the one that’s been keeping secrets.”
Shadows flickered across his face, and his sooty hued eyes looked right through me. “Do you feel well enough to go for a walk around the grounds?” he countered.
My brows pinched together. “Apparently, I’m a prisoner here. Ignacio told me I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere.”
The corners of his lips twitched, and my heart stuttered. Damn his flirty lips. Damn his sinful eyes. Damn my heart for wanting him so much.
“Alone,” he clarified. “I didn’t want you going anywhere alone.” He paused and his smiled widened. Hot, tangled sensations danced down my spine. “Besides, I’d like some privacy. I don’t want to add to Ignacio’s video collection or have him overhear us.”
Heat rushed to my face as last night flashed through my mind. “Oh my God,” I said, bile swirling in my gut in spite of the anti-nausea medicine the doctor gave me. I didn’t want to add to the stockpile of blackmail material Ignacio had of me. One video was enough. I trusted Ryker, but I would never trust Ignacio. “Not again.”
His smile softened, and he peered at me lazily, his eyes hooded. “Don’t worry. I deleted it this morning before anyone woke up. Nobody will ever see it, but I have some stuff I want to talk to you about without worrying that we’ll be overheard.”
He didn’t have to ask me twice. I wanted to talk to him without prying ears and eyes. I scooted off the bed and tugged on the hem of the t-shirt Ryker gave me last night. “I need clothes,” I announced, waving my hand in front of my body.
An amused laugh erupted from his mouth, and he pointed to a white paper bag on the floor next to his dresser. “The housekeeper is washing the clothes you left at the hotel. There’s a dress, panties, and other necessities in there.”
“I wish somebody would’ve pointed that out earlier,” I grumbled as my bare feet padded against the tiled floor. I’d been hiding in bed the entire day due to a lack of proper clothing.
I found a simple light blue shift dress with iolite trim and white lacy panties in the bag. With my back turned to him, I took off the t-shirt and tossed it on the top of the dresser. I slipped the dress over my head and pulled on the panties.
I still hadn’t looked in the mirror. I avoided it like the plague last night in the bathroom, but a quick brush of my hand over my face told me all I needed to know. One of my cheeks was still slightly swollen, my lower lip was cracked, and my hand looked like I had smashed it between two bricks. At least Dr. Mendez bandaged the burns on my upper arm. I couldn’t stand to look at them.
I spun around and finger combed my hair. “I’m ready. Where to?”
Ryker stood less than a foot away from me. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His familiar spicy sea scent washed over me. “I’m sorry I left before you woke up. I should’ve told you everything last night. I shouldn’t have left you alone with Ignacio.”
His apology ignited sparks of anger in my blood, and I curled my fingernails into my palms like razors. “After everything I’ve been through, I can’t believe you abandoned me like that. You didn’t even stay around long enough for the doctor’s exam. If you really go through with whatever fucked up plan you have in your head—”
“Hattie, listen to me,” he interrupted.
“No. I know you think you’re going to make some bullshit noble sacrifice and push me out of your life. But if you do go through with it, it’s over. I will never let you back in my life. You will never know anything about our child. You will never know his name. You will never see his face. We will disappear. Do you understand what I’m saying? This is your last chance. Don’t fuck it up.”
Ryker pulled me into his arms, and his warm, minty breath shuffled through the ends of my hair. The heat from his touch bled through the gauzy fabric of my dress. My pulse skyrocketed, and a shiver of anticipation danced down my spine. I should’ve pushed him away, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I never could think clearly when it came to Ryker.
He was my weakness.
My Achilles heel.
My kryptonite.
My everything.
“Hattie, I am so sorry about everything that happened to you. You have no idea how badly I wish I could go back in time and make different decisions.” He squeezed me tighter and I could barely breathe. “I’m not going to lie. The th
ought crossed my mind that you’d be better without me. I still think so. It’s not too late to rebuild your life. I would make sure you had enough money to buy a house, finish your degree or stay home with our baby if that’s what you wanted. I would make it so you never wanted for anything.”
Alarm zipped through my body like a lightning bolt, and a monster sized black hole opened up inside of my chest.
“Except you.” My voice was tight with suppressed tears. “Is loyalty to your father more important to you than your unborn child or me?” I slipped my hands between our bodies and shoved him, but he didn’t move.
“Fuck no, Hattie. That’s crazy.” He buried his nose in my hair and inhaled. “You mean everything. That’s the only reason I considered leaving you. I didn’t know what to do. I needed to think. I needed a plan.”
I tipped up my head, pinning him with my eyes. “And you have one now?”
Silence ticked by, and I bit my lip, wishing I felt stronger, more confident. Instead, I wilted under his unreadable gaze. He exhaled and took a couple of steps back, his hands slipping from my shoulders. I immediately mourned the loss of his touch. Guilt etched lines into his face as he ran a hand through his inky hair. His normally vibrant gray eyes were stormy.
“I have ideas, but I’ll need your help. We’ll need to work together,” he said, his voice low and cautious.
I rubbed my hands over my face and my throat constricted. My head pounded, and sadness poured through my veins like a drug making me tired and weak. “I don’t know how I can help. I’m kind of out of my depth here.”
“Come on. Let’s take a walk.” The pads of his fingers whispered like silk down my arm, and he laced his fingers through mine.
I hesitated for a moment. A small sliver of me wanted to flee this whole mess, but I didn’t think it’d do any good. I had to trust Ryker to guide us through this just like he had with everything else we had faced. Despite all the ups and downs, he hadn’t failed me yet.
“Okay.” I said, my lips trembling. I swallowed hard, struggling to swallow the sadness and fear creeping up the walls of my throat.