by Vivian Gray
He moved forward and reached out to put a hand on my back to lead me to the couch, but I dodged him. Instead, I sat at the far end of the couch on the very edge of the cushion, putting as much distance between myself and Angel as I could manage.
“I have a proposition for you.”
I wanted to groan. Hadn’t I met my lifetime quota of deals with motorcycle club leaders? Certainly, fate couldn’t be so unkind to me. Still, I had to hear him out. It was clear Angel wouldn’t leave until he’d said what he’d come to say.
“What would that be?”
“As I’m sure you know, your boyfriend and I aren’t exactly friends.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” I said, rolling my eyes. Their feud seemed childish to me – little boys trying to show who was tougher – but I knew it had a serious undertone. People died fighting this war, and I couldn’t dismiss it so easily.
Angel smiled, but I saw the annoyance behind it now. He was losing his patience. “And as I’m sure you also know, I’m aware of your arrangement with Jasper Black.”
I stared at him blankly.
Angel sighed. “I know Jasper Black is not really your boyfriend.”
This information surprised me. Not only had I almost forgotten our relationship was a sham, but Jasper hadn’t even told the Hellions that our relationship was entirely fake. I’m sure plenty of them had suspected something fishy. After all, Jasper’s usual conquests wore thigh-high boots and eyeliner and never stayed around more than a night. I didn’t quite fit the mold. However, the details of our arrangement had remained entirely private. How Angel had come across this information was a mystery, and rather concerning. If he knew about our deal, what else did he know?
“Or perhaps that is news to you,” he said, raising an amused eyebrow at me.
I tried to arrange my expressive face into a neutral mask. I couldn’t afford to give Angel more information than he already had. And I also couldn’t afford to let him see my fear.
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” he said, lowering himself onto the arm of the couch, his hands crossed and resting on his thighs. “Your little arrangement with Mr. Black only means that you can be of very great use to me.”
“I’m tired of being used,” I said, cutting him off. It was true. My entire life had been spent taking care of people, whether out of necessity or force. Just once, I wanted to do what was best for me.
Angel laughed. “And I’m sure you’ll grow more tired of it still before your life is over.”
Hearing him mention anything about the length of my life sent a shiver down my spine.
“Jasper Black killed one of my men recently. Did you know anything about this?” Angel leaned forward to look into my face, but I turned away, breaking eye contact. “Ah, I suspected as much. It’s okay. I do not hold it against you.”
“As you shouldn’t,” I said. “I didn’t do anything wrong. You all are the criminals, not me.”
“But you have done something wrong. You’re an accessory, my dear. You witnessed a crime and told no one. More than that, you attended galas and dinners and parties with the murderer. I’m sure people would not find you to be such a do-gooder if they knew the truth.”
I didn’t want to listen to Angel. It was clear he was trying to manipulate me, but did he have a point? I’d separated myself from the situation so much that I didn’t realize how wrapped up in it I’d become. Jasper had ordered someone to be killed, and rather than report the crime, I had stripped in his office less than an hour later.
“If Jasper goes down for the murder, you will go with him. It’s unfortunate, and I do wish to help you avoid your fate,” Angel said, slipping from his spot on the arm of the couch to the cushion. He reached out to me and placed his hand on my knee. “I just need you to testify against him.”
My head snapped up, eyebrows furrowed. “You just said I would go down for the murder, too. Why would I ever want to admit I was there?”
“I have friends in the police department. Friends who would make sure you didn’t face any jail time for your role.”
“Stop saying it like that. I didn’t have a role. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Besides, the guy they killed was a drug dealer who worked for you. Bringing attention to his death would only bring more suspicion down on you.”
Angel clacked his tongue a few times and shook his head. “I said I have friends in the police department, remember? I’ll be fine.”
“Why don’t you just deal with Jasper on your own then? Isn’t that what you motorcycle clubs do? Take justice into your own hands?” I asked. “It would be even easier if you are telling the truth and actually have all of these friends in high places.”
“This is cleaner.” Angel stared at me, his eyes emotionless black pits.
The smirk he’d been wearing since walking through the door was gone. It hadn’t ever been real to begin with. This Angel, the one with a scowl and narrowed eyes and hate brewing under his skin, was the real Angel. Pure evil, through and through.
I’d once thought Jasper was evil, but now I could see the difference. Jasper, at his core, was a businessman. He did what he had to do to make money and keep his well-oiled machine running. Angel was part of this world because he enjoyed it.
“Have someone else testify,” I said. “I’m not going to do it.”
Angel raised one eyebrow and tilted his head to the side, running his eyes down my body as though thinking of the easiest way to dismember me. “You are the only one.”
I shook my head. “That can’t be true. If you have the police force behind you, you don’t need me. I’m nobody. Find someone else to lie for you. I’m not going to do it.”
Angel ran his teeth along his lower lip. “Have I not made the consequences of siding with Jasper Black clear?”
I started to answer, but all at once, Angel was on top of me. He had me pinned to the couch cushion, his hip bones crushing against mine, his hands wrapped around my wrists, pinning my arms above my head. He smelled like smoke and leather and dirt, and I tried not to breathe as I thrashed against him, fighting for my freedom.
“You’ve fooled yourself into thinking Jasper is better than me,” he said, readjusting so he could hold both of my wrists with one hand, the other one free to trail down my chest. His fingers made a line across my collarbone, between my breasts, and down to the hem of my tank top. He pushed it up, and goosebumps rose on my skin. “He’s not. He and I are the same. If you like being with him, you’ll love being with me, too.”
“I don’t want to be with either of you,” I said. Though, at that moment, I prayed for Jasper to burst through the door and save me.
Angel ripped my tank top off, and I felt a growl vibrate deep in his chest. “I’ll change your mind.”
I tried to free my arms from his grip, but he was too strong, and I feared I would break my wrists before I was able to escape. Angel wrapped a hand around my back and unhooked my bra. I whimpered, but it only seemed to spur him on. He enjoyed it. After that, I stayed quiet, not wanting to give him any more pleasure.
He pushed the cups of my bra up until my breasts were exposed to him. The chill made my nipples hard, but Angel seemed to think it was because of him. He leaned forward and sucked one into his mouth, swirling his tongue around me. “I knew you wanted me.”
I felt bile rising in my throat, but I fought it down. Whatever happened, I had to stay strong. I couldn’t let him see that he was breaking me, that inside I was falling apart. Angel may have been moments away from taking my body, but he could never take my mind. I had to stay strong.
Angel ran his hand over my breasts, and I felt him growing hard inside his jeans. He shifted his weight, so our hips aligned, and I swallowed a sob. His cold hand shifted to my thin pajama shorts, and his fingers were just dipping below my waistband when the front door of the apartment opened.
“Oh my God.”
I turned to see Kayla standing in the doorway, unsure where she should look. He
r eyes found the ceiling and the floor and the far wall, but they always glanced back at my half-naked body and Angel pinning me down, almost as if she couldn’t help herself.
Angel jumped off of me in surprise, his body in a fighting stance, and I quickly pulled my robe over my bare chest and sat up.
“I’m sorry,” Kayla said, raising her hands to shield us from her view, and then lowering them. Her entire body was uncomfortable.
Just as quickly as he’d jumped away from me, Angel composed himself. He shot Kayla an effortless smile and ran a hand through his greased hair. “It’s not a problem. Marin and I weren’t expecting you to be home so soon.” He turned to me and winked, but I saw the threat in the flat line of his mouth. “Perhaps, we will get together again soon.”
Kayla nodded, but confusion was etched into the lines of her forehead as she watched Angel leave. As soon as he was in the hallway, she slammed the door behind him and locked it. She turned on me. “Who the hell was that?” she shouted.
I pushed myself off the couch and stood on shaky legs. Could I tell Kayla the truth? It wouldn’t be safe for her to know, but I also felt as though I would crack under the weight of all the secrets I was harboring.
“Angel,” I said. That was the truth.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “You were about to sleep with a man named... Angel?”
I pulled my robe tighter around myself, trying to fight off the chill that was coming from inside, and stared down at my feet.
“And what about Jasper?” she asked. “Was that relationship not wild enough for you? You had to go and find someone even sleazier?”
I understood Kayla’s anger. My life didn’t make any sense to her, and how could it? She didn’t know the truth. I’d been lying to her for weeks. She was my best friend, yet she didn’t have the slightest idea what was going on in my life. One minute, we were wiping tables at Jasper’s Grill and chatting about the cute boss, and the next I was dating him and spending all of my time at fancy galas and dinners.
And now, she found me half-naked with a total slimeball.
“Marin,” Kayla said, her voice softer than before. “What is going on? This doesn’t make any sense.”
I shook my head, trying to convince myself to stay quiet, to shoulder this particular burden alone. Kayla didn’t need to worry about a gang of bikers potentially breaking down our door and hurting her. She didn’t need to know that the field behind Jasper’s Grill was likely littered with the bodies of murdered bikers. She didn’t need to know that my relationship was a complete sham, and in addition to not having a real boyfriend, I had isolated myself from my one and only friend.
All of that was too much for her to bear. It was too much for anyone to bear.
“Why are you crying?”
It was only when Kayla asked the question that I realized silent tears were streaming down my face.
Chapter Fourteen
Marin
Kayla repeated the question several more times, but each time it only made me cry harder. Words became impossible. I sucked in air after each sob, trying to fill my starving lungs. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and led me to the kitchen table. I cried as I watched her heat milk in the kettle on the stove and break large chunks of chocolate into a mug.
Her hot chocolate was legendary, at least with me. She made it countless times every winter, and whenever we had one of our ultimate best friend chats – we never knew when those would happen, so we kept a small stash of supplies in the cabinet above the stove just in case.
By the time she sat a steaming mug of thick hot chocolate in front of me, topped with a swirl of canned whip cream and marshmallows, I had finally gained control of my sobs, though silent tears continued to stream down my cheeks.
“What the hell is going on, Marin?” she asked, her voice thick with concern.
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak, but I wasn’t sure where to start. So, I opted to take a drink of the hot chocolate. It was far too hot still, and my tongue got burnt almost instantly, but it was worth it. Chocolate coated my throat and made the whole world feel altogether less terrible.
I sat the mug down on the table, took a deep breath, and told the truth. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Then just start. If it doesn’t make sense, I’ll put the pieces together. I’m a smart girl.” She smiled at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone.”
She nodded.
“I mean it, Kayla. No one. Ever. It’s dangerous.”
She nodded again but narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re making me nervous, Mar. What are you tangled up in?”
I started at the beginning. I told her about that night at Jasper’s Grill when I closed. She gasped at all the right parts but otherwise didn’t interrupt. I told her about the nights spent at Jasper’s house, the fancy dinners, the biker party. I told her everything I knew about Angel, and how he’d shown up at the apartment that night.
“How did he know where you lived?” she asked.
“He said he’d been following me. And he knew you were at work, so I have to believe him.”
She nodded, but I could see her mind whirring. Finally, she was beginning to realize how much danger I had put her in. Certainly, she would move out and never speak to me again. I should have told her immediately – given her the chance to disassociate herself with me, continue on in her normal life.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, the sobs threatening to return.
“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t ask for this. None of this is your fault. But this is really bad. Should we call the police?”
“I can’t. I witnessed a murder, and I didn’t report it. I could be charged.” I buried my head in my arms, the warming effects of the hot chocolate beginning to dissipate. “Should I tell Jasper?”
“We have to tell someone.”
Kayla was right. Angel could come back, and Kayla and I wouldn’t be enough to hold him off. He could kill us both. Jasper had the resources to protect us both.
As I sat there, thinking about how I would explain everything to Jasper, my stomach began to churn. Nerves twisted my insides, and suddenly, I knew I was going to throw up. I pushed away from the table and sprinted for the bathroom, crashing to my knees and throwing the toilet seat open just in time. The hot chocolate didn’t taste as nice coming up as it did going down.
Kayla leaned against the doorway, and I looked up at her briefly before another round of throwing up. “Are you all right?”
I leaned back against the tub and nodded. “I guess. I shouldn’t have inhaled the hot chocolate like that.”
Kayla said something, but I didn’t hear her. I’d caught sight of my tampon box on the floor next to the toilet, and a calendar page was flipping back in my head. I was counting and recounting days, certain I’d done my math wrong.
“Earth to Marin,” Kayla said, waving her hand in front of my face. “I asked whether you want some crackers?”
I stared up at her, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. “Have you had your period yet?”
“Duh. It ended a week ago. You know that,” she said.
It was true, keeping track of Kayla’s monthly cycle was as easy as tracking my own. Since we’d lived with one another for so long, our cycles had synced up, so we got out periods at the same time every month. Only, this month my period hadn’t come.
It took Kayla a few seconds to realize what my question meant, but when she did, she slapped her hands over her mouth. “Are you pregnant?”
I stayed in the bathroom while Kayla ran to the convenience store on the corner and bought me a lifetime supply of pregnancy tests.
“I figured you’d want to take more than one,” she said, spreading them out on the counter. “I also bought you some ginger ale, and I bought myself a packet of gummy worms. Think of it as my delivery fee.”
I’d given Kayla my debit card to buy the tests, and usually, I would have given her a hard tim
e for buying something for herself with my money, but the last thing on my mind was a one-dollar bag of gummy candy. I closed the door and peed into one of the red plastic cups Kayla had found in the very back of a cupboard in the kitchen.
The box said it would take three minutes for the test to give me my result, but the second pink line appeared almost immediately. I continued staring at it until the timer on my phone went off though, just in case the line would disappear, and this whole thing would be something Kayla and I would laugh about later while we sipped wine and ate grilled cheeses – the ultimate sick food.
“You’re sure?” she asked, her face pulled back in a wince.
“I took three tests.”
“Shit.”
“Shit,” I repeated.
Kayla offered to stay up and talk everything through, but I didn’t have much to say. The night had unfolded at a dizzying speed, and I needed a second to stop and wrap my mind around everything. I double-checked the front door was locked and then hid away in my bedroom, the comforter pulled up under my chin.
I was pregnant. With Jasper’s baby.
For a second, I tried to think whether it could be even remotely possible Jasper wasn’t the man who had gotten me pregnant, but of course he was. He had been the only man I’d slept with for the last few weeks. An image of a round baby face with a crop of dark hair and Jasper’s blue eyes rose to the forefront of my mind. I rubbed my flat stomach.
The rest of the night passed in a sleepless blur. I awoke the next morning to a missed call from Jasper. I was supposed to meet with him to go over some of the finer details of my new position as his charity consultant, but I wasn’t ready to face him yet. I powered my phone off and stayed in bed all day.
Kayla brought me soup and crackers, treating me as though I had the stomach flu rather than a baby growing inside of me, but still, I couldn’t complain. It was nice not to have to worry about anything other than how I would tell Jasper the news.
I didn’t have any basis for how he would react. As I saw it, there were four options: one, he would ask me to get an abortion; two, Jasper would want me to give the baby up for adoption; three, he would abandon me and tell me to keep the entire pregnancy a secret; and four, he would be excited.