Jasper

by Vivian Gray

  The fourth option seemed the least likely, so I dismissed it almost immediately. I needed to focus on how to handle the other options.

  I couldn’t get an abortion. My mother had talked about getting an abortion during her last pregnancy. Her lousy excuse for a boyfriend had abandoned her, and with so many other children to worry about, she’d considered it. But then she’d decided not to, and I was grateful every day. I couldn’t imagine our family without Luca’s blonde curls and mud pies.

  Adoption was an option to consider, but I was pretty certain I wouldn’t be able to go through it. Even though I sometimes resented my role as caretaker for my younger siblings, I loved children. I wouldn’t be able to feel a baby kicking and growing inside of me and then give them away. I would spend every day wondering whether they were safe and cared for, whether they looked like me or Jasper.

  The third option seemed like the most likely. Jasper didn’t seem like the fatherly type. He wouldn’t press pause on his life to take care of me and his child. As soon as I told him, he would probably break off our relationship – if you could even call it that – and wish me luck. And honestly, I knew I could handle it. My mom had been more or less a mess her entire life, yet she’d still managed to raise her brood. Plus, from a young age, I had taken on more than my share of childrearing duties. If anyone was prepared to be a single mom, it was me.

  I grabbed my phone from where it had sat on my nightstand all day. I turned it on, and immediately it began to buzz with missed calls and messages. Jasper had called me six times. I called him back, pressed the phone to my ear, and listened to it ring.

  “Hello?” he asked, surprise mingling with annoyance.

  “We need to talk.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jasper

  Marin hadn’t been picking up her phone all day, but that didn’t stop me from calling and texting her. She’d always been responsive to my calls, so her radio silence felt out of character. Especially since I’d just offered her the charity consultant position – basically her dream job. She should have been falling over herself to thank me; instead, she was being ungrateful.

  The front door opened, and for a split second, I thought perhaps it was Marin, but it was only Tats and Bear. I’d asked them over to check on the security measures around the property. Angel shouldn’t have been able to get up to the front door without me being alerted.

  “Everything looks good, boss,” Tats said, shrugging his shoulders. “We checked every camera and sensor, and they are all in full order.”

  Bear nodded in the background.

  “Thanks for looking into it,” I said. “I’m not worried about Angel or the Jackals, but I would like to know how he bypassed my system.”

  It’s not like I was living in a fortress or anything. There were definitely holes in my security, but none obvious enough that someone like Angel should be able to figure them out. Even still, I wasn’t afraid. I slept with a gun strapped to the back of my headboard for a reason. If Angel came at me, I’d be ready.

  Tats was in the middle of a tirade, going on about sticking it to the Jackals, attacking them on their turf, but I was saved the task of responding by my phone vibrating loudly on the desk. Marin’s name popped up on the screen, and as I answered, I was aware of how quickly I’d jumped to answer it, and how it must have looked to Tats and Bear.

  “Hello?” I tried to cover my eagerness with a layer of aloofness. It worked, and Tats and Bear lumbered out of the room to give me my privacy.

  “We need to talk.” She sounded somber, and suddenly I was nervous. Was she breaking up with me? No, of course not. We weren’t really dating. Plus, as far as she knew, ending things with me would also be the end of her life. She wouldn’t be so foolish.

  “About what?”

  “Please come over.” She hung up.

  Was I mistaken, or did it sound as though she’d been crying? Her voice had the recognizable thickness of someone swallowing back tears.

  I immediately grabbed my motorcycle key from the hook next to the fridge, threw on my leather jacket, and tore out of the driveway. The wind was cool on my skin, and I drank it in. A ride always helped clear my head, and lately, I’d had more on my mind than usual. Marin had been filling my thoughts, though I’d tried hard to ignore it. She was supposed to be a cover, a pretty face for the local tabloids. It was never supposed to be serious.

  But there I was, flying down the interstate towards her apartment, trying to think of anything I could have done to upset her, any reason she would have to be angry with me, dissecting our phone call to try and discern whether her tone was frustrated or concerned. I was annoyed with how much I cared and with how little I was getting from her in return. I sat around thinking about her all day while she ignored my calls and hung up on me? It was absurd.

  When I knocked on her door, I’d convinced myself that my feelings for Marin were nothing more than an infatuation. She was unlike the other girls I’d dated in the past, and for this reason alone, she had seemed interesting to me. I was like a cat with a shiny toy. Soon enough, I’d grow tired of her and order would be restored to my world. I’d do well to remember that.

  She answered the door before I could even lower my hand, as though she’d been standing next to the door waiting for me to arrive. She threw it open and ushered me inside without a word.

  “Hello,” I said, sounding formal and distant even to my own ears.

  She didn’t respond as she closed the door behind us. Dark circles like bruises colored the skin under her eyes, and her fingers played nervously in the frayed hem of her oversized sweater. It looked as though she’d been awake all night.

  “What is it?” I asked. The words were clipped, and she flinched as I spoke.

  “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” she asked, stepping into the kitchen and opening the door to the pantry.

  “No, I’m fine. Why did you ask me to come over?”

  She stood there for a moment. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, but otherwise, she looked frozen, rooted to the spot on the kitchen floor. Anxiety began to build in my chest, and I lashed out.

  “You’re wasting my time,” I said, turning to leave. “I can’t just drop everything and run over here whenever you want. I have a life, too.”

  I was almost to the front door when I heard her soft cries coming from the kitchen. I wanted to leave, to march down the hallway and wait for her to come crawling after me, but I couldn’t. I tried to tell my feet to move, my hand to twist the doorknob, but my body betrayed me. Before I knew what was happening, I was back in the kitchen, watching as Marin melted into the linoleum floor. She crumpled to her knees.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  The words hit me like a lead pipe to the knees. It took every ounce of energy I had not to fall to the floor next to her. Pregnant? With my baby? Obviously, it was mine. Otherwise, she would have told me. Right?

  “Is it mine?” I asked, just to be certain. This was not the time to jump to conclusions.

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Is that why you’re crying?”

  “Sort of.” She shrugged.

  “What else do you have to cry about?” I asked, suddenly nervous. Being pregnant with your fake boyfriend’s baby seemed like it would be more than enough reason to be upset.

  She took a deep breath, and then the story poured from her like a dam opening. With each word, she grew lighter. She lifted herself off of the floor and moved to the kitchen table, all the while recounting he conversation she’d had with Angel, what he’d asked her to do, what he’d done to her.

  I tried to take in the information, but rage consumed me. By the time she finished, my hands were shaking.

  “Why didn’t you call me immediately?” I shouted. “Do you have any idea what Angel could have done to you in the last twenty-four hours? You were a sitting duck in this apartment.”

  “I kept the door locked,” she said weakly.

  “And how long have you known yo
u were pregnant? You could have picked up the damn phone and given me that little piece of information.” I knew I should try and control myself, but I couldn’t. Too much was happening inside my brain to focus on lowering my voice.

  “I only found out last night.”

  “And what the hell were you doing answering the door in the middle of the night?” The thought of Angel’s hands on Marin’s body made me crazy. I wanted to rip him apart. I imagined pulling his spine out of his body through his mouth. I continued shouting, though I forgot what I was saying the moment it was out of my mouth. I was blind with rage.

  When I finally stopped yelling to catch my breath, I looked at Marin and saw her cowering on a chair, her hand clutching her stomach. Fear filled her eyes. The woman carrying my child was afraid of me. My child was growing inside of her, and she was petrified of me. Instantly, the rage inside of me moved to the background – still present, but controllable, for the moment – and I dropped into the kitchen chair opposite her, the cheap wood creaking under my weight.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice hoarse from yelling.

  Marin relaxed, though she still kept a safe distance from me, leaning back in her chair. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. This is just a lot of information, and I’m trying to process it.”

  She nodded. “That’s what I’ve been doing the last twenty-four hours. Sorry I didn’t call you back.”

  “Tell me everything again.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I knew what she was thinking. It hadn’t exactly gone well the first time, but I needed to hear everything with a clear head. I needed to fully understand what had happened so I could make a decision. “Positive.”

  I gritted my teeth, biting back anger while she explained everything Angel said to her, everything he did to her. She recounted his hands on her body, and I heard the unshed tears in the back of her throat, fighting to be released, but she stayed strong. She sheepishly admitted that she’d explained everything to Kayla.

  “Everything?” I asked.

  “Sorry. The whole Angel thing wouldn’t really make sense without context. But Kayla won’t say anything.”

  Suddenly, Kayla popped her dark head around the kitchen and ran her fingers over her lips as though she were shutting a zipper. “My lips are sealed.”

  “Go to your room,” Marin shouted at her, the vaguest hint of a smile playing on her lips.

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Kayla said, eyeing me suspiciously. I couldn’t blame her for being nervous. My life was far from conventional.

  “I’m fine, Kayla.”

  Kayla narrowed her eyes at me one more time, which I understood to be a warning – Hurt my friend, and I will hurt you. It was almost funny to see such a petite woman try to intimidate me, but I raised and lowered my head once in understanding, and Kayla disappeared back into the living room.

  As soon as Kayla was gone, Marin launched into getting sick and taking the pregnancy tests. She pulled one out of her pocket and laid it on the table. The small window in the center of the plastic stick showed two parallel pink lines.

  I’d dated a woman a few years earlier – a crazy club girl who wanted nothing more than access to my world – who claimed to be pregnant. She told me the baby was mine, and then laid out a future in which we could be a happy family. It sounded like a nightmare to me, and I’d panicked. It had all been lies, of course. As soon as I’d pushed her to take a pregnancy test or go to the doctor for confirmation, she showed up crying, claiming she’d had a miscarriage the night before.

  Marin didn’t strike me as a crazy club girl though. She’d taken the test herself, and spent the better part of a day thinking through how to tell me. This was real.

  Surprisingly, I felt calm. The panic I’d expected to rise up in my chest any moment, to twist my thoughts into spirals of uncertainty and fear, never came. Aside from the rage I felt towards Angel, my head was clear. Marin would have my baby. My baby. And I’d take care of the baby. And her. In whatever way I needed to.

  “I know this news is probably pretty unwelcome, so I want you to know I don’t expect anything from you.” What had she just said? I’d been so deep in my own thoughts that I’d barely heard her. She continued, “And I know you’d rather me get rid of the baby and pretend this never happened, but I can’t. That isn’t an option for me. I’m keeping this baby, and I need you to understand that I truly mean it when I say you don’t have to be involved.”

  Her chin jutted out, jaw clenched and strong. She thought I didn’t want the baby. For a second, I was surprised, but then I realized I’d never given her reason to expect anything different. I was the guy who needed a fake girlfriend to improve his reputation. Not exactly the behavior of a great father figure.

  I reached across the table and grabbed Marin’s hands. She flinched, but then looked into my eyes and stilled, her head tilting to the side. “We are going to call around today and find you the best doctor in the city. You are going to move in with me so I can protect you, and I will have a Hellion watching your apartment twenty-four hours a day to make sure Kayla is safe. You aren’t going to worry about a thing for the next nine months, and if I have a say, for the rest of your life afterward. I’m going to take care of you and my baby.”

  Marin’s eyes went glassy, and she bit her lower lip. “Okay.”

  I reached out to wipe a tear from her cheek. “You didn’t have the option to say no. We are going to teach you how to shoot a gun, so you can protect yourself if I’m not there.”

  “I already have pepper spray and a rape whistle.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not going to let a rape whistle determine the safety of my future child. If Angel ever comes near you again, if he ever touches you again, the only way it ends is with a bullet in his head. Do you hear me?”

  Marin looked down at the floor, her eyes unsure. She didn’t know if she could trust my sudden softness towards her, and I couldn’t blame her.

  I reached out and grabbed her chin in my hand, pulling her face towards mine. “Do you hear me?” I repeated.

  Her brown eyes looked into mine, searching, and she may have responded, but I didn’t hear it. My heartbeat thudded in my ears, and the only thing I could focus on was her soft, pouty lips. Her tongue swiped across her lower lip, and that was it. I unraveled. I closed the space between us in an instant.

  Her lips were hesitant for only a second before they softened, and her mouth opened to me. I pushed her lips apart with my tongue and explored the inside of her mouth. She tasted like chocolate and cinnamon. My chair tipped backward and clattered to the floor as I closed the space between our bodies, pulling her out of her chair and holding her into me. I was already hard, straining against the stiff material of my jeans.

  Marin pulled away, and immediately my lips missed her. She peeked around the kitchen door, no doubt checking for Kayla, and then looked up at me, eyes large and doe-like. “Let’s go to my room.”

  That was all the invitation I needed.

  I scooped her up and pressed kisses into the soft skin of her neck. She wrapped her legs around me, her body bouncing up and down on my erection as I carried her across the apartment and into her bedroom. As soon as the door closed behind me, Marin untangled herself from me and dropped down to her knees.

  She stared up at me while she undid the button on my jeans and pushed the zipper down. Her smooth hands slid the waistband off of my hips and around my thighs. My body was ready, and I popped out of my boxers at full attention. Marin wasted no time. Her thumb and pointer finger hooked around my base while her lips formed a warm ‘O’ and kissed my tip.

  I groaned, feeling as if I could explode at any moment. She slid me into her mouth, and shivers of pleasure moved from the base of my spine up to my neck. My tip pressed against the rough skin of her throat, and still, Marin took me in until I was all the way inside of her, her nose pressed into my abdomen. I reached out and grabbed the back of her head, holding her on
to me for a moment, thrusting softly into her throat.

  She slid to my tip and did the entire thing again, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. Her mouth was incredible. She opened herself to me, and I fucked her face gently, pushing myself into her for only a second before pulling out, her lips forming a suction. We did this until my legs were shaking, moans escaping me with each thrust, and I was seconds away from coming down her throat. I pulled out and leaned against her bedroom door, breathing deeply.

  Marin stood up and pulled her sweater over her head. She didn’t have a bra on, and her breasts bounced freely, her nipples hard and pointy. I moved towards her like a moth to a flame and rolled my thumbs over her nipples. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, her lips parting slightly.

  My hands followed the supple curves of her body down to her hips, and my thumbs hooked into the waistband of her shorts. They fell to the floor with the slightest urging, and she was standing in front of me in nothing but a dark blue thong. My hands wrapped around her hips, grabbing the soft flesh and squeezing, pulling her body close to mine, savoring the warmth of her skin.

  She pushed my leather jacket off my shoulders and onto the floor, and then grabbed the hem of my gray T-shirt and pulled it over my head. I stepped the rest of the way out of my jeans. I picked Marin up and laid her back on her bed, trailing kisses from her collarbone down to her hips, pressing my lips to the hollows there, imagining how they would fill out as her pregnancy progressed.

  When I kissed the center of her panties, she shivered, her legs clenching. I ran my palms down her legs, soothing them, and then pushed them apart, licking the inside of her thighs. Finally, I slid her panties to the side and kissed her warm lips, slipping my tongue into her. She groaned, arching her back, and it encouraged me.

  I fucked her with my tongue, pushing in and out of her while rubbing my thumb in small circles over her sensitive nub. She ran her fingers through my hair, holding me to her, as I penetrated her more and more quickly. When I pulled my mouth away from her, she whimpered, but I quickly replaced my tongue with two fingers.