I don't want to feel sad today, Robin thought. And pushing herself away from the counter top, she went in search of Jonas and Tony.
She found Jonas in Jeff's office. He was sitting at the desk, totally immersed in whatever it was he was working on. Again she was taken aback by how handsome he was. The rich brown color of his hair gleamed in the sunlight pouring through the window. His broad shoulders…
Don't do this, she scolded. But her eyes continued to feast on him. And, shockingly, her heart began to race.
"Good morning," she called softly, knowing that alerting him to her presence was the only way to tame these raging hormones she never knew she had.
"Well, hello there," he said. "You look well rested this morning."
"I should. I can't believe I slept so long."
His smile seemed free of inference, almost charming. But Robin was on her guard.
"Are you angry?"
Bewilderment crossed his brow. "Angry?"
"I was supposed to be on baby duty last night. So you could work."
"I'm not angry. You obviously needed to sleep. And I got off easy. Tony slept through the night."
"Oh," she said, recognizing the disappointment in her voice. Not that the baby had slept soundly, but that Jonas's initial greeting hadn't held any hidden umbrage. Heck, he hadn't even tried to tweak her guilt. Had she come in here spoiling for a fight?
Jonas must have heard the frustration in her tone because his brows rose and he said, "I got a good night's sleep, too. Does that mean our deal is off?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Could you watch Tony this morning so I can get some work done?"
"Of course." A lock of her curly hair had fallen into her eyes and she brushed at it. "It was really nice of you to let me sleep."
"I thought so too," he said, beaming.
Robin resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
He picked up his red pen. "I do my best work in the morning."
She took a sip from her mug. "And I take a while to warm up to it.''
One of his dark brows rose. "You'll be working?"
"I do have a career," she reminded him. "I have an article that needs finishing. And I thought I'd call the magazine to see if they could give me some position I can fill from here."
When he didn't respond immediately, she was impelled to ask, "Do you have a problem with that?"
"Of course not." He absently smoothed a hand over the paper in front of him. "So I'll work mornings and you'll work afternoons. Is that feasible?"
She nodded. "I think so." His last question was almost terse. As though he hadn't expected her to continue with the magazine. Had he thought she would quit her job outright to take care of Tony? Was he out of his mind?
Well, he'd agreed to a work schedule quick enough, and that's all that was important really.
"Where is he?" She kept her tone pleasant, hoping to keep the conversation on the right track.
"Still sleeping," Jonas said, his tone still edgy. But his words softened as he continued. "I guess the little guy has been through a lot in the past few days."
"Yeah," she agreed. "Poor thing's going to have a rough time of it."
Jonas nodded solemnly.
"Maybe I'll take him out this morning," she said. "If you'll point the way to the park, we'll get out of your hair for a while. Maybe I'll check the pantry and stop off at the grocery store on our way home."
"Sounds good."
"Mama. Mama. Maaaaaama."
The monitor on the kitchen counter magnified Tony's voice and the sounds of him rustling around in his crib as clear as day even though they were in the office. Robin smiled.
"Sounds like he's awake," she said, setting her mug down on credenza. "I'll go bring him down for some breakfast. You go ahead with your work."
She hurried up the stairs and down the hall. The door of the baby's room was ajar and she pushed it open and went inside.
Robin smiled brightly. "Good morning!"
Tony froze where he stood at the crib railing, his wide, brown eyes filling with fear.
If she had stopped long enough to think, she'd have realized that she should never have approached the crib. But she was so intent on calming the baby's anxiety that she didn't think, she simply acted.
Tony didn't move a muscle until she was within reaching distance. When she held out her hands to him, he screamed as though she were an evil, ugly troll. He scrambled to the far corner of his bed, even though she crooned reassuring words to him.
"Here, here, now." Jonas rushed into the room. "What's all this?"
"Unka!" Tony sobbed and huge, crocodile tears spilled from his eyes.
Robin stepped away from the crib so Jonas could scoop up Tony. The baby buried his face in his uncle's neck.
The rejection and hurt she felt swelled in her throat until it became a hard, painful knot.
"He doesn't like me." She forced the whispered words around the lump. Hot tears burned her eyes.
"Come on, now," Jonas said, reaching out with his free hand to touch her arm. "It's not that he doesn't like you." His tone was soft and soothing. "He doesn't know you."
The rational part of her mind absorbed Jonas's explanation, even agreed with it, but her heart, that soft place that the core of her emotions called home, still felt bruised by the shunning.
"We should have thought about this," Jonas said. "Seeing how he was a little shy of you at the courthouse. And when we picked him up at Amy's."
Robin felt numb even as she nodded.
"Maybe we should just stick together for a few days," he suggested. "Maybe we should put off working until Tony's as comfortable with you as he is with me."
What a nice thing for him to suggest. Warmth rushed through her veins, bringing back her sense of feeling with tingling clarity. Gratitude welled within her, an emotion that jarred against the usual leeriness he caused in her. She wanted to reach up on her tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek.
But she hesitated as a dark, silent voice whispered inside her. He's not putting off his work for you, you idiot. He's doing it for the baby.
"Of course," she murmured to herself.
"So, you think it's a good idea?" he asked.
"What? Oh, yes," she said. "And I'll put off working for a while, too. It shouldn't take too long, do you think?"
"Nah," Jonas said with a smile. "A couple days at the most."
Even as she said, "Okay," Robin battled with her mixed feelings about spending the next few days in close proximity to Jonas. She'd thought they would take turns being with the baby, and now it seemed more prudent that the three of them be thrown together for all activities. The idea made her uncomfortable for some reason, made her feel unsafe.
She wasn't afraid of Jonas; it wasn't that at all. It was just that he threatened her... security. No, that wasn't it, either.
Why, then, she wondered, did she balk at the thought of spending time with him?
Before she could ponder the question further, Tony began to make deep, grunting noises. She and Jonas looked at each other in surprise. The baby lifted his head to stare intently into his uncle's eyes. His precious, tear-streaked face turned beet red as he strained, and immediately following, a loud, stinky explosion erupted from his bottom region.
Jonas looked at her, trying hard to contain his mirth. "Well, now. I guess it's time for me to change the little man's pants."
A snicker escaped Robin's throat. "You are the favored one at the moment."
Chapter Three
Robin rummaged in the kitchen pantry in search of something to feed Tony for breakfast while Jonas was busy changing the toddler's diaper and dressing him for the day. She smiled as she heard Jonas's voice coming over the baby monitor. He was talking his way through the diaper change, evidently having forgotten that Robin could eavesdrop on his every word.
"Okay," she heard Jonas say, "the bottom is clean and dry." Then he added, "Tony, let's remember to pick up more baby wipes at the store. Un
cle Jonas uses a lot of those things."
A grin tugged at the corners of Robin's mouth. She went to the desk in the corner of the kitchen and started a grocery list, placing baby wipes at the very top.
"Okay, diapers, diapers," he murmured. "Where are the diapers?"
There was a scrambling sound that had Robin chuckling.
"No, Tony, keep still now. Uncle Jonas is moving as fast as he can. You have to be patient."
"Toy," Tony demanded.
"You want the teddy bear?"
"No." The baby's tone was firm, decisive. "Toy." With her ear glued to the monitor, Robin leaned against the counter, all thoughts of breakfast pushed from her mind.
"Here," she heard Jonas offer, "how about these keys? They're pretty colors. Red. Blue. Green. Look at this yellow one." Another scrambling sound and then she heard the plastic keys bounce off the changing table. "No, no, Tony. Lay still for Uncle Jonas."
Tony whined.
"Let's go over to the toy chest and you pick out what you want."
The surrender in Jonas's heavy sigh had Robin pressing her fingers against her lips to hold back the laughter that bubbled from within her. She listened as the two of them moved across Tony's bedroom and began digging in the chest full of cars, trucks, plastic balls, airplanes and stuffed animals she'd seen. Jonas offered each toy to the child and Tony rejected each one.
Robin found herself completely caught up in the entertainment of their conversation. She looked forward to the day when she and her nephew could communicate in the same easy manner. She hoped it wouldn't take Tony too long to learn to trust her as he obviously trusted Jonas.
"So you want the duck," she finally heard Jonas say. "Why didn't you say so?"
"Duck," Tony proclaimed triumphantly.
The deep rich sound of Jonas's chuckle sent shivers coursing along Robin's spine. He had such a nice voice. And he was so calm and patient when dealing with Tony. Maybe her brother, Jeff, and his wife knew exactly what they were doing when they'd named Jonas as Tony's guardian.
Her eyes grew wide, the thought startling her so that she took a staggering step away from the counter and the monitor where Jonas's voice floated out over the air.
She could be calm and patient with the baby. She knew she could. She only needed to be given the chance. She only needed to gain Tony's trust.
Suddenly she relived the rejection she'd felt only minutes before when her nephew had cried when she'd entered his room. But luckily she was able to stave off the emotional onslaught and view the scene in her mind from a more analytical point of view.
Jonas had been right. Tony had been frightened of her, not because he disliked her, but because he didn't know her well enough to feel safe and secure in her presence.
Well, Robin thought, she'd put the baby at ease. She'd let him know that she could be counted on. She'd learn to care for him so that he'd know he could depend on her.
Her intake of breath was sharp as a realization struck her with full force; she wanted Tony to depend on her. She'd never wanted anything so much in her life. The feeling was so strange to her. All her life she'd run from one end of the world to another in an effort to keep herself free and independent. She'd never wanted to have anyone rely on her. Years of seeing her mother slave for her severely ill father had implanted in her a fierce desire for freedom and independence.
But why the change of heart now? she wondered.
"Oh, Tony!"
Jonas's loud exclamation jerked Robin from her thoughts. The baby began to cry and she wondered if she should run upstairs to see what happened or if she could help.
"It's okay," she heard Jonas soothe. "Don't cry. Let's just get a diaper on and we'll go down to breakfast. Aunt Robin is fixing you something good to eat. Let's worry about getting you dressed later."
At the mention of food, Robin's gaze swept across the immaculate kitchen, the clear table, the spotless counters. She hadn't even started to prepare anything for Tony to eat. Scurrying to the pantry, she pulled out a round box of oatmeal and began reading the instructions for preparation. She found a small bowl and a measuring cup. She bolted for the refrigerator and slowed down long enough to carefully pour out the right amount of milk. The microwave oven buttons beeped as she programmed in the proper time.
She searched the cabinets and pulled out a small juice glass, then her eyes lit on a blue plastic cup with a tight-fitting lid. Of course! Tony could sip, spill-free, and the bright blue would interest him. In the silverware drawer she found a lemon yellow spoon that was just the right size for a toddler's mouth. Inventors of baby products were geniuses. She placed the cup on the tray of the high chair along with the spoon and a paper napkin.
"Put your leg down, Tony," Jonas said. "Here, here. No, lay still. Quit squirming, little man."
The once light tone of Jonas's voice was forced now and Robin could actually feel his frustration. She would have gone up to help him out, but she was in too much of a rush to stir the oatmeal and then fill the cup with chilled apple juice she'd found in the door of the fridge.
Robin was sprinkling brown sugar on the steaming oatmeal when she heard Jonas's footsteps coming down the stairs. She looked up when they entered the kitchen.
"Hi, Tony." She kept her greeting bright and soft-spoken and friendly. Her quick glance at Jonas had her eyes widening with curiosity. "What happened to you?" she asked.
He looked a little flustered, but humor glittered in his green gaze as he explained. "Tony had a little accident." Jonas tugged his wet pant leg away from his body. "But I did learn a valuable lesson..."
Robin's mouth quirked up in a grin. "Don't let Tony run around without a diaper on?"
Jonas nodded solemnly and then joined in with her light laughter.
The sound emanating from deep in his chest was rich and vibrant and it did strange things to the pit of her stomach. Her smile slowly faded and she pressed her hand to her abdomen, but before she could rationalize her body's reaction to Jonas, Tony began to chuckle too.
Robin's attention suddenly riveted to the baby's face. His laughter gave her an amazing sense of relief. He was happy.
"Oh," Jonas commented to Tony, "so you think what you did to Uncle Jonas was funny, huh?"
"Fun." The baby tried out the word, and he laughed again.
Jonas smiled at Robin, and again she felt her insides grow all quivery. She fought to keep her brow from wrinkling as she tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with her… was she coming down with the flu?
"I need to get a shower and change obviously," Jonas told her. "And sometime today maybe you can help me get some clothes on him. But all that will have to wait until after we get him fed."
The light and dizzy sensation she'd experienced when Jonas smiled at her was forgotten when she was swamped by a new anxiety: she worried whether or not the baby would like the breakfast she'd prepared. It wasn't until that very moment that she realized she had no idea what fourteen-month-old toddlers ate in the morning. Would he like oatmeal? Did he even have enough teeth to chew it? Should she have looked for some kind of baby cereal instead? Or mashed up some fruit? Could he digest fresh fruit? Didn't baby food come in jars? Why weren't there any one the shelves?
Robin had realized all along that she was ignorant when it came to kids, but the questions that flew through her brain, fast and furious, boggled the mind.
Jonas held Tony in one arm and moved into the center of the kitchen. The baby's happy countenance faded and apprehension filled his big, brown eyes with sudden fear as he glanced at Robin. It was almost as if he'd forgotten about his frightening experience up in his bedroom and was just now remembering it all over again.
His little chin quivered and the corners of his mouth tipped down. The sight filled Robin with a compassion the likes of which she'd never before felt. She wanted to wipe away all his anxiety, but that was a pretty difficult task when it was her that he feared.
"Oh, baby," she crooned, "it's okay. Please don't be afraid of
me."
She said the words but she didn't move, didn't dare take a step toward him. She'd already seen the results of that, and she might be ignorant about children, but she wasn't completely stupid, thank God.
"Now, Tony," Jonas said. "This is Aunt Robin."
Tony slipped his thumb into his mouth, looked from Jonas to Robin and back to Jonas. The panic in his gaze broke Robin's heart and made her want to reach out to him. But she didn't. She simply waited for him to respond.
He twisted in Jonas's arms, turning his back to her and holding himself in that stiff position. His reaction couldn't have been clearer. He didn't want to deal with the situation. He didn't want to face what was happening, and in his child's mind he'd decided that ignoring Robin would make her go away.
But he had to face it. He had to deal with her. Because she wasn't going away.
Jonas looked at Robin and she read questions in his troubled eyes. So what do we do? he silently asked. How do we fix this?
She shrugged, feeling helpless. She only wished she knew what they should do.
It was Jonas who took action. He approached Robin with Tony still in his arms, and he smoothed his strong, tanned hand up and down the toddler's back as he said, "Tony, Aunt Robin is a nice lady. She fixed your breakfast. She cooked oatmeal just for you."
Jonas was standing so close to her now that she could have reached out and touched his arm. Tony didn't move to acknowledge her in any way.
Jonas moved closer.
"Turn around, little man." His tone was gentle but firm.
Robin felt her stomach grow jittery. She didn't want to force her nephew to accept her, but she knew it was in his best interest that he understand the circumstances as much as he could and come to terms with his present situation.
She was part of his present situation. The sooner he learned that, the better.
"Tony, turn around," Jonas repeated. "I want you to meet your Aunt Robin."
Ever so slowly, Tony pivoted first his head, then his whole body, until he was facing her. Again the panic displayed on his face, in his gaze, nearly killed her.
"It's okay, honey," she said quietly. "I know you're afraid. But you don't need to be. I love you, sweetheart."
Accidental Family Page 5