by Angel Lawson
“Dude, you’ve been in there for an hour,” Oliver said from outside the cage.
“I’m just getting warmed up.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
I stepped back to the plate and eased into position, the next ball flying toward me. Again, I nailed it, hitting the sweet spot and watching it sail into the outfield.
I waited but the machine spun endlessly, out of balls. I hit the stop button and the pitching machine came to a halt. I moved to collect the balls scattered all over the batting cage, but Oliver shouted for Tony, one of our employees, to clean up.
“I’m not done,” I said, hooking my bat into the rack near the door.
“Yeah, you are.”
“Don’t be a dick, Oliver. You know this helps me relax.”
He held my eye and spoke quietly. “You’re freaking out the staff and clients. You’ve been a caged animal all afternoon. Chill out. Take a break. In the office, away from the floor.”
“I know you were here at five a.m. beating the shit out of a punching bag.”
“Maybe I was,” he said, arms crossed. “But by the time the floor got crowded, I was cleaned up and ready for the day.”
We stared at one another for a moment, a blink of time as far as the history of our relationship went. I knew he was right. I’d been riled up since seeing Heaven the night before. Upset, depressed, sad, angry. The emotions ran through me but I ended in the same place time and time again: lost and lonely.
Oliver opened the cage gate and I reluctantly walked out.
Going on the blind date had been the first mistake. Not turning around the instant I saw her was the second. Not kissing her was the third.
I regretted all three. All fucking three.
Ignoring the looks of everyone else on the gym floor, I grabbed a clean towel from the bin and wiped my face as I headed into the office. I sat on the leather couch and Oliver shut the door behind me, sitting in the chair behind the desk. The office was an example of our success. Fine leather furniture. A sleek stainless-steel desk. A huge glass wall so we could look out over the gym. The warehouse was massive, big enough for almost any kind of training our elite clients needed.
Neither of us planned to attempt a pro career like Anderson and Hayden. We were good athletes but not major league material. We planned for it and Oliver got a combined degree in sports training and management. I focused on business and marketing. When everything fell apart with Heaven, we were lost—floundering—until we channeled everything into our other passion and built this place.
It was a rough first few months, but we had two heavy hitters in our back pocket. Two rising stars in their respective sports; Anderson Thompson and Hayden Pierce. They bought in financially and allowed us to use their faces to sell our program.
It worked.
It also kept us so busy I wasn’t sure we had time to miss Heaven, other than the dull ache that lingered as a daily reminder.
Until last night.
I groaned and leaned back against the cushion, wanting to tell Oliver to fuck off with his worrying, but I saw the same haunted look reflected back at me. He felt like shit, too. Finally, I said, “Last night was unexpected.”
“Totally.”
I twisted the towel in my hands and stared at them. “She looked good.”
“Healthy.”
Her eyes had been bright. No trace of the dark shadows that lingered for so long. Her skin was clear. Her body looked strong. I tried not to be obvious as I looked for the signals of depression and self-harm, but there were no dark circles under her eyes. No new scars on her wrists. All of that felt like a wave of crashing relief. We’d been through so much pain together and I never knew if she’d falter again. Depression wasn’t something you just beat. It was something you survived, and Heaven was a fucking survivor.
“She didn’t look pleased to see us,” I added.
“Well, we made rules, and in one night they were smashed.”
“Stupid blind date.” I glanced up at him. “I knew we shouldn’t go.”
“Dude, you were the one that convinced me!”
I tossed the towel in the bin by the door. “I know. I’m sorry. I just had no idea…”
“Of course you didn’t.” He sighed. “It’s not the end of the world, Jackson. We exist in the same city, maybe it’s time we tried to work through some of it. Get to a stable, functional place.”
I studied him to see if he was being genuine, because opening that wound…it may go someplace we couldn’t control. “I don’t know,” I told him. “With Hayden and Anderson gone, it feels wrong.”
“To be friends?”
“Friends is a tricky concept. You know that.”
His eyes flicked to the glass windows behind me and he stilled.
“What?”
I sat up and twisted to get a look. Famous client? The superheroes were back in town filming the next installment of their series—seeing them never got old. Oliver’s chair rolled back and he stood. Although I still didn’t know what for, I did the same.
That was when I saw her; wandering in by the door. Her eyes cast up at the huge A5 Gym sign over the front desk and the two huge banners that flanked the sign. Our star athletes, Hayden and Anderson, greeting each client that walked in the door.
“She’s here,” Oliver said quietly.
We’d both known this day would come. At some point. Which was probably why the last twenty-four hours had been so terrifying. Heaven was here and there was no more avoiding it, the business, and our history.
7
Heaven
A cute blonde at the front desk greeted me with a smile. Her collared shirt had her name stitched on it: Peyton.
“Welcome to A5, can I help you?”
I wanted to respond, but I couldn’t stop staring at the massive banners hanging from the warehouse ceiling. On the right was an image of Anderson, just out of the pool from a race—Nationals, if I remembered correctly. Water ran down his genetically superior body and his smile, fresh from victory, was heart-stopping.
On the left was Hayden, protecting the goal. He’d been photographed airborne, arms extended to catch the ball. His muscular legs were caked in blood and dirt and the look on his face was deadly. I’d been on the other end of that predatory stare and a chill ran down my spine at the memory.
“Hello?”
My eyes snapped to meet Peyton’s. “Right, hi. I have an appointment. Sheena Jacobson.”
“Ah, I’ve got you.” She smiled when she saw me check out the banners again. “Those photos are distracting, right?”
“Yeah. They really are.”
She leaned forward and whispered, “The owners are good friends with them. I’m hoping they come in one day and I get a chance to meet them.”
I forced a smile. “That would be exciting.”
Movement across the room caught my attention; familiar yet different bodies, hair, and faces. I slid my eyes in their direction and my stupid, predictable heart kicked in gear just seeing them walk across the facility.
“Are you ready for your tour, Sheena?” Peyton said a little too loudly, well aware her bosses were walking over.
“Thank you, Peyton, we’ll take care of, um, Sheena,” Oliver said.
I pretended there wasn’t a deeper meaning in his words. Shit. See? Why couldn’t I keep my mind out of the gutter with these guys? Our relationship was definitely not just about sex. It took us a long time to work through that side of things and when we got there it was good—so good—but there was so much other stuff. Real stuff. Friendship and support. Laughter and fun.
I tried not to focus on Oliver’s broad shoulders or Jackson’s marble-like jaw.
Maybe I kept thinking about sex because I hadn’t had sex in ages.
That could definitely be the reason.
I braced myself and said, “Peyton and I were just admiring your friends hanging up on the wall.”
Jackson and Oliver both look over my head. Oliver raised
an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t believe how long it took Anderson to find a photo he approved of.”
His comment caught me off guard. “Really?”
Jackson slid a hand in his pocket. “Oh yeah, he got super anal about it. We actually had three other banners made, but he refused to let us put those up.”
I snorted. Anderson was always something of a diva. “What did you do with the ones he didn’t approve of?”
“Sent them to his apartment. They’re probably hanging over his bed.”
That time I laughed out loud. “Stop. He’s not that bad.”
“He’s worse and you know it.” Jackson smiled.
I glanced back. “What about H?”
“His agent had final approval.”
Ah.
“It’s a good photo.” Although, I was pretty sure Hayden didn’t take bad photos.
Silence ebbed between us. It was the first normal conversation we’d had in years. Jackson glanced at Peyton, who was busily arranging something on the front desk while totally eavesdropping. “So, right, you want a tour?”
“If you have time.”
“For the one and only Sheena Jacobson? Why not?”
I only half-listened as they led me through the gym. Dozens of employees oversaw different sections of the operation. They’d covered everything and had all the latest trends. “Full-body workouts are really important right now,” Jackson said, leading me through the area I’d seen in the videos. Huge tires and basic weights lined the walls. “These actors want the lean cut to show off all their hard work. We handle the fitness part—their nutritionists, the rest.”
“I’m really impressed, you guys have made something amazing here.”
Oliver crossed his arms and leaned against a metal beam that reached the ceiling. “We needed to do something to distract ourselves. So we went all in.”
I stepped forward and touched the logo on his chest. I felt the quiver of his muscle.
A5.
Wrinkling my nose, I said, “You didn’t have to add me in.”
“Don’t be silly,” Jackson said. “Everything we are today is because of the bond between the five of us. I can’t imagine where we’d be if we hadn’t joined forces long ago.”
“You’d probably have a wife and three kids.” It was a joke, but I meant it. Our relationship stunted any normal follow up.
“Sounds like a nightmare,” Oliver replied. But he’s not being truthful. He wanted to get married. And kids. The whole package.
A long moment stretched between us and I finally said, “Thanks for showing me around. Seriously, I’m proud of you.”
Jackson glanced at Oliver and blurted, “Well, you got to see what we’re doing…don’t we get to do the same?”
“Yeah,” Oliver frowned. “Monster makeup? Handsome actors? Sounds pretty exciting.”
I smiled, proud of my work. “It’s fun. I never expected life to lead me down this path, but so far, it’s been great.”
“Maybe we can get together some time and hear more about it,” Jackson offered.
“Maybe we can.”
It wasn’t a guarantee, but it was the best I could give at the moment; from the looks on their faces, they seemed okay with it.
I thought I should make a break for it, but that was foolish. Oliver grabbed me with both arms and pulled me into a hug. One I’d suspected we’d both been craving for days now.
“I missed you,” he said into my ear, his breath warm and familiar.
I stared at Jackson over his shoulder. Both his hands were crammed into his pockets like he was forcing himself to stay back.
Oliver released me and I took two fumbling steps back. He looked instantly regretful and opened his mouth, obviously to apologize. I shook my head and said quietly, “I missed you guys, too,” and ran for the door.
8
Heaven
The following day I walked into my trailer and found a massive bouquet of flowers. Lea peeked her head around it, a wide smile on her face and the purple streaks in her hair matching some of the blooms.
“There’s a note!” was all she said, grabbing it from the stems. “Who’s it from?”
I had a feeling I knew who and grimaced as I took the small envelope. Obviously, they were from the guys. Who else would send me flowers? But flowers? That was a bold, too-fast move, and it knocked me off kilter.
Lea watched me closely as I tugged the card out of the envelope, my cheeks reddening at the idea of her seeing me—this—private moment.
Heaven
Sorry for the mix up the other night. Only I could pick the two guys off limits in this city!
Forgive me,
RJ
“So?” she asked, a bubble of energy.
I passed her the card. “From RJ. Apologizing.”
Her jaw dropped. Look, we may work with famous people but we’re in the peripheral—not in the circle but holding the circle together with paint brushes and film and everything else that creates a TV show or movie.
“RJ Malone sent you flowers.”
“Apology flowers. He’s probably hoping to smooth things over since he’ll be back in my chair today.”
“I guess, but come on, you know it’s weird when the actors even notice.”
I shrugged and took the card and put it away—also moving the bouquet out of the way so I could get to my chair. “He’s young and he’s probably terrified the guys are going to kick his ass in a training session.”
“Guess that’s why you don’t set up people on a blind date without knowing all the details first.”
I started setting up my workspace. “Honestly, I should be thanking him. That mix-up got us talking for the first time in years.” I gave her a quick look. “I went to see their gym yesterday. It’s really impressive.”
“I snooped online and saw their client list. They’re doing something right,” she agreed. “How did it go? Talking to them again?”
I got out my palette and started mixing zombie paint. “It was weird. Stressful, but also kind of nice.”
“You plan on seeing them again?”
“We left it in the air.”
A bang on the door thankfully brought in our first zombies of the day, and there wasn’t time to talk about my love life or anything else on the set. Another reason why this was a good job. It kept me busy.
When I finally took a break and checked my phone I saw the text from Jackson.
J: Saturday 6:00 PM Parkside Tavern for H’s game?
I didn’t reply right away, diving back into my work. Eating lunch. Laughing with Lea. RJ came at the end of the day; I assured him I wasn’t mad. Something told me he didn’t come by to check on me, but on my assistant instead.
If Lea noticed, she wasn’t giving anything away.
When I got in my car and pulled out my phone again, that message waited for me, and also another one.
J: No pressure
It was a soccer game—for once not being played at the crack of dawn since it was in the States and not overseas. I stared at the phone, thinking about what going would do to our fragile co-existence. What saying no would mean. What doors and wounds and history this would rip open.
“Fuck it,” I muttered and typed in my answer.
See you then.
I had three days to panic, reconsider, and back out. I did the first two a dozen times, but I didn’t back out, and that scared me more than anything else.
By the time the game rolled around I was in a state of denial, checking and rechecking that message. What if he sent it by accident? What if he was just being nice? What if it was a test and I was supposed to say no but said yes and in the end, I was the one that led us down the path to ruin.
Good god.
I picked up the phone and pressed the name at the top of the list.
“Hey babe,” she said, picking up on the first ring. “What’s going on?”
“I’m in trouble, Amber. Super big trouble.”
“What did you do?” Worr
y entered her voice. “Are you okay?”
“Oh,” I said, realizing she misunderstood my statement. Rightfully so. I sat on my bed and picked at a loose thread. “I’m fine, but I just…I said I’d meet Jackson and Oliver at a bar to watch Hayden’s game.”
There was a beat. A long one, and then, “You did what?”
“You heard me.”
She sighed and I could see her sitting in her apartment in New York looking over the busy street below. Amber and Ginger bolted after college for the big-big city. “It was bound to happen at some point, right?”
“I guess. I should have said no.”
“Why would you say no? I mean, it’s a soccer game and your friend is playing. It’s not an orgy.” I coughed and she apologized. “Kidding. Just kidding. I know you guys never had orgies, although for the life of me I’m not sure why.”
She had a point. If ever there was a slippery slope…
“These guys were never just my friends, Amber, you know that and that’s what makes it so hard. How do I just be friends with them? I don’t even know how to be an adult with them. Or just hang out at a bar eating nachos and drinking beer.”
“You hate beer.”
“See? I don’t even drink beer like a normal person.”
Amber grew quiet for a moment and I knew she was thinking. Just when I’m about to start hyper-ventilating she said, “You’ve faked it before. You can fake it now. For one night.” I started to argue. “Heaven, you faked liking someone way more than once in your life. Turn that shit around and just fake be a normal girl with normal guy friends for one night. Hang with the guys like they’re…just guys.”
“What if I can’t?” Again, she was quiet. It was different though. “Amber?”
“This isn’t the way I wanted to tell you but, I have some news.”
I perked up. “What kind of news?”
“Ginger and I are getting married.”
“What? Oh my god! What?”
“Heaven!” her voice jolted me back down. “We want you at the wedding and we want the guys there, too. You’ve all been a big part of our lives and maybe this is the opportunity you need to get this together.”