by Angel Lawson
He zipped up the suitcase and hauled it off the floor. “Dude, let’s talk about this a little more. Enjoy the wedding. Give it a minute to breathe. You just dumped a lot of info on me and…well, I think I understand what you’ve been going through a lot more than before. Heaven needs to hear it.”
Hayden grabbed his hoodie off the back of the chair and pulled it over his head. “You can tell her if you want, but I’m getting out of here before I do any more damage.”
I didn’t stop him. Physically I wasn’t sure I could, but I could tell he’d made his mind up, even though his mind wasn’t in the right place. Not for any of us.
I offered him my hand, he seemed surprised but grasped it with his own. “Good luck,” I told him. “We’ll be here if you need us, got it?”
“Thanks,” he jerked his chin. “For everything, Anderson. You’re a good friend.”
I wanted to say more as he left the house, heaving his suitcase so it didn’t drag on the stairs. A car waited for him at the curb, he must have called it before I even got up here—already determined to leave.
As he drove away I braced myself for the impending conversations, telling them about Hayden. Revealing my own heart. In truth, it was bound to be a complete shit-show, but then again, when did the Allendale Five do anything the easy way?
41
Heaven
Waving off the boys, I retreated to the changing room off the pool deck, seeking a moment of privacy to recover from the shock of getting busted by Hayden and Anderson.
I needed to go up there, to find them both and clarify what was going on, but honestly, I was scared as hell that once we spoke about it, any chance for salvaging the five of us was gone. It might already be gone—I just didn’t want to hear the words.
The changing room was exquisite, like everything else at Oliver’s home. A small love seat, a wide ottoman, and a dressing table built into the wall. There was a shower with tiles made of dreamy blue-green glass and it was so pretty in there I felt guilty all over again for living this life while causing so much pain. Why did it have to be so hard?
I stepped in the shower and rinsed off the sunscreen. I didn’t waste time, washing quickly. I’d just wrapped myself in a plush, white towel when I heard a rap at the door.
“Come in,” I said, reaching for a comb on the dressing table. I expected Oliver or Jackson. Instead Anderson stood in the doorway, his face reflected in the mirror. I spun in my seat.
“Hi,” I said, feeling a burst of butterflies at seeing him.
“Hey,” he said, voice soft. “Can we talk?”
“Of course.”
“Do you want to wait and get dressed? I can…”
“No, it’s fine. Come in.” I was afraid if I let him leave, something would happen and we’d never get the chance again.
He entered the small cottage, his body too big for the limited space, but having him so close made me feel better—complete. I searched his eyes for anger but there wasn’t any, and that confused me more than anything else.
“I’m sorry about before,” I said, cutting the silence. “I should have told you before you arrived that things had changed between the three of us and that I’m hoping—”
He cut me off with a kiss, arms wrapped around my back, tugging me closer. My brain had a million questions but my mouth, my body caved to his touch, something I’d missed so desperately.
When we pulled apart, he pressed his forehead to mine and said, “I don’t know how I feel about what I saw earlier. I just know how I feel about you. I love you. I always have, and I always will, and if you’ll take me back, I can work through anything else.”
“Are you serious?” Anderson had never been easy to convince. I narrowed my eyes at him and he grinned, slow and sexy.
“As a heart attack, Heaven. The last two years have been a nightmare. Lonely and completely isolated. I’ve spent the last six weeks thinking about it. A lot. And the one thing I know is that I don’t want to live that life anymore.”
“Are you interested in…trying some new things?”
He swallowed. “Maybe. Hopefully. It just may take a while for me to get used to it. But I’m open minded and I promise not to judge.”
“We can take it slow. Or not at all. Our relationships have always been unique, which is why it worked for so long.” I brushed his hair out of his eyes. “But I’ve also realized that as we mature, so do other parts of our commitment to one another. We’re different now and that’s okay. Stagnating and trying to fit into the same mold as years before was what did us in. It’s why the distance killed us. We needed to adapt but didn’t know how.”
He nodded in understanding and on a whim and rush of love, I jumped at him and he caught me in his long, strong arms. I didn’t care that I was only in a towel and that it was slipping off my body inch by inch. I only cared about the way his lips felt, hungry and secure, the way his heart beat, hammering against my chest. I only cared that he was here, finally, and another piece of my life fell into place.
I eased myself out of his arms, using a hand to hold up the towel at my chest, although it was no longer wrapped around me, just hanging by my clenched fingers.
“How’s Hayden?” I asked, well aware that his eyes were roaming. I linked my fingers with his.
“We need to talk about him, but probably with the others. I think I finally understand what’s going on.”
“Should we get Oliver and Jackson?”
“We should,” he said, not all that convincingly. His tongue swiped at his bottom lip and I felt his hand graze my lower, bare back.
“Maybe in a minute?”
He took a deep, steadying breath, like he was wavering between tossing me on the couch and ravishing me right there and…well, not doing that at all. His mind was at war over something, probably all of this, and I knew it would be better if he had time to think it over.
“Let’s go talk to them,” I said, making the decision for both of us. “It’s important, and maybe Hayden will come out of the apartment and stop sulking.”
Anderson froze, his mouth in a grim line.
“What?” I asked, fearing the worst. It didn’t take long for my concerns to come true.
“Hayden left right after I got here,” Anderson said.
“Left? To go where?”
“Home,” he clarified. “He flew back to Atlanta.”
42
Jackson
“Maybe I should go up there,” I said, pacing the room. “Anderson and I have always been the closest. We’ve worked through Heaven issues before—maybe I can explain.”
“Give him a chance to settle down,” Oliver said. We’d both changed out of our wet clothes and were in the living room trying to decide how to handle the blow-up by the pool.
“God dammit, if we fucked this up…” I’d had a sick feeling in my stomach for an hour.
“Jax, we knew there was a chance they wouldn’t approve. Sharing Heaven this way, it’s different, and neither of them are big on change.”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Hayden that angry.”
Oliver rubbed his face. “I don’t know what to do about Hayden. He’s been a mess since he got here. I thought coming home to recover would help, but he seems worse. He’s restless, overworking himself, I don’t think he’s sleeping…”
“He’s a fucking disaster,” I agreed. “I have the feeling what he saw today may be the last straw. Maybe he’s just too fucking proud to really commit to this relationship.”
“Or he’s just moved on.”
We were both silent, mulling that over. Like any relationship, someone should be allowed to leave if they aren’t happy, but something about Hayden’s behavior didn’t add up.
“So much for keeping the drama low for Amber’s wedding. We’re a bunch of assholes.”
“That’s the truth,” Anderson said from the doorway. Oliver and I both looked his way. Heaven stood by his side, cheeks slightly flushed. They held hands.
My eyes
lingered on the easy way their fingers wound around each other’s and how he squeezed her hand before releasing it to walk in our direction. He stopped before me and his smile spread wide before pulling me into a massive, Olympian-sized hug. I peeked over his shoulder and saw Heaven smiling at the two of us, but there was still worry in her eyes.
“Good to see you, man,” Anderson said.
“You too.”
He released me and grabbed Oliver, hugging him tight. I raised an eyebrow at Heaven questioningly, but she just watched the three of us together and I knew in my heart everything would be okay.
“We good?” Oliver asked him.
“Yes, we’re fine.”
I eyed him skeptically. “It’s not really like you to behave so rationally.”
“I know, but while you guys have been working through things here, I’ve been working on myself.” Heaven walked from the doorway next to Anderson, again slipping her fingers through his. “Hayden, on the other hand, isn’t fine. In fact, he’s—”
“Gone,” Heaven said, her strong resolve cracking. “He’s gone.”
“What?” I asked. “Where?”
“Back to Atlanta. He unloaded on me when I got here,” Anderson said.
“Sit,” I told him. “Tell us everything.”
He did, and when he finished we sat around the room, one person obviously missing from our circle.
“I had no idea he’d been carrying so much,” Heaven said, wiping a tear from her cheek. “He’d been protecting me this whole time.”
“He was protecting himself, too,” Oliver said, eyes dark with disappointment. “He could have told us this was going on.”
“I knew that Bryant guy was a creep,” I said.
“Slimy,” Heaven agreed. “I didn’t like his teeth. Too white.”
“He’s just doing his job,” Anderson said. “Hayden’s not wrong about the branding and image stuff. He was also right to try to protect you. Somewhere along the way, things got really messed up and I think he not only lost us but he lost himself too.”
“What should we do?” Heaven asked, looking at each of us. “We can’t just let him go like this. We need to talk, even if…even if it’s to let him go.”
Anderson took her hand. “There’s nothing we can do right now. Amber’s wedding is in two days. You have obligations as her maid of honor that you have to fulfill. Hayden doesn’t have the right to ruin her special day.”
Heaven sighed and nodded. “You’re right.”
A phone vibrated, interrupting the discussion, and Heaven looked at her screen. We all waited, hoping it was Hayden changing his mind, but she shook her head and said, “It’s Amber.”
“Hey,” she said, holding the phone to her ear. Amber’s voice was audible, although unclear. Heaven’s forehead creased, her lips turned down with worry. “Hold on, let me pull it up okay? Let me see for myself.” She cut her eyes at Oliver. “Get me a laptop. Pull up the Oceanside Facebook page.”
Oliver hopped up, going to the kitchen for his computer. Heaven spoke to Amber, “Are you sure? Who would do such a thing?” She waved Oliver back in the room and he typed as he walked, obviously pulling up the website.
“It’s bad,” he said, sitting next to Heaven on the couch.
Anderson peered at the screen. “Shit.”
“What?” I asked, moving across the room to look for myself.
“We’ll report it and get the messages down,” Heaven said as I rounded the couch. “Don’t stress. I’m sure no one has seen it.”
There was a distinct lack of conviction in her statement. I finally got a look at the screen and saw the Oceanside community page—normally used for news and public announcements. Amber and Ginger’s engagement photo had been posted at the top of the page, tagged with the headline, “Lesbians plan wedding in Oceanside! Is this the type of event we want to host in our town?”
A hundred comments filled the box below. Most awful and hate-filled. A few mentioned Heaven, including posting a few choice photos from back in the day. Seriously? People kept those?
Someone tipped off the community about the wedding and they’d decided to let the world know how they felt about it.
“Listen, babe,” Heaven said over the phone. Oliver took a screenshot of the page and then reported the post. “We’re going to get through this. It’s no fucking surprise those people are small-minded
idiots. I’ll be over soon. Don’t do anything drastic.”
Heaven hung up and glanced at Oliver. “We did this, you know.”
“I know.”
“What?” Anderson asked. “How?”
“We went to check on the rentals. I knew the girl working in the office and another guy in the back. Both were complete shit-stirrers in high school.” She looked between us, guiltily. “The ones that started all the rumors about me and Justin. I had no idea they didn’t know the wedding was for two women.”
“Uh, Heaven, there’s something else.” I’d followed the link that showed the ancient photo of Heaven back in high school and it took me to a different page. The profile picture explained a lot.
“Is that Spencer?” Anderson asked, leaning closer.
“Spencer?” Oliver repeated.
Heaven and I exchanged looks. I nodded and said, “We ran into him a few weeks ago picking up Heaven’s dress at the cleaners. He was being a dick, like always.”
“Tell me you kicked his ass,” Oliver said through gritted teeth.
“Did he hurt you?” Anderson asked at the same time, his forehead furrowed.
I couldn’t help but smile. “I didn’t have to do anything; our girl took care of herself.”
Both Anderson and Oliver give Heaven impressed looks but she just said, “I did punch him, but Jackson kept him from retaliating. It was a joint effort and I’m not surprised he found a way to get back at me. He was friendly with Paul back then and if they still are, it probably didn’t take much for them to start up their old tricks.” She sighed. “It’s like this shit just never goes away, you know?”
“It’s not your fault,” Anderson said, rubbing her arm.
“It is, and I need to fix it.”
“How? What are you going to do? Find out who put up this page? It’s best if they ignore it,” I said.
“And what? Some of those comments were about protesting the wedding. That’s not acceptable.” She stood. “I’m heading to Amber’s house to go check on her and see what we can do. I’ll be back later.”
“The wedding is in forty-eight hours, Heaven,” Oliver pointed out.
“I’m not letting those bastards ruin it. We’ll figure it out.”
“One of us should go with you.”
“No. I’m the maid of honor. I’ll deal with it.”
Oliver started to follow her, unwilling to let her take the heat alone, but I grabbed him by the arm. “Call us if you need anything, okay?”
She nodded and left, leaving the three of us together.
“I should go with her,” Oliver said.
“No, I need both of you with me,” I told them.
“For what?”
“We’ve never allowed our friends to be bullied. Not back then and not now.” I pushed up my sleeves. “I think it’s time we paid Oceanside a visit and kick their asses into the twenty-first century.”
Anderson stood. “I’m in. I hate those pricks.”
Oliver nodded and we let Heaven drive off before we piled in Oliver’s Jeep and drove to Oceanside.
43
Heaven
I arrived at Amber’s house and went straight up to her room. I hadn’t been there since college and it looked the same, a tiny snapshot in history. She sat on her bed, laptop in front of her, typing furiously.
“What are you doing?”
“They posted again, right after you reported it. Stupid bastards. Now I’m just going in and calling them out for being hateful assholes.”
I slid on the bed next to her and slowly removed the laptop. She cried out
but I took it, snapping the top shut and pushing it under the bed.
“You had no right to take that,” she said.
“Arguing with assholes on the internet is a complete waste of time. You know that.”
“I do, but I can’t just sit around!. I haven’t even told Ginger yet! She and my mom went out to run some errands. What if they bump into someone that saw it. My mom will be horrified. I mean, she’s always been supportive but you know how this town is.”
“Your mom has your back. Never doubt that.” Amber’s feisty spirit came directly from her mom.
“But what about Ginger? She’ll be crushed. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“Ginger is a strong, capable woman, I have no doubt she can handle herself, but you’re right, she doesn’t deserve this. Neither do you.”
Amber plopped back on her pillow. “I hate these people, Heaven. I knew having the wedding here was a terrible idea. Old mentalities die hard.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, lying next to her and taking her hand. “Why do you think I kept running from that place my whole life?” I took a deep breath. “I’m the one that let it out that the wedding was for two women. I thought they knew and the girl at the desk was someone I knew from way back. I had no idea she was still so awful.”
“I don’t blame you, Heaven. They would have figured it out when we got there. Two vaginas and no dick would have tipped them off.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to fix this.”
“I don’t think there is a solution and there’s no time anyway. Maybe we just cancel.”
“Hell no are we cancelling.”
“Then what? Have it down there? People want to protest. You know I’m in for a fight, but…”
“Your wedding day isn’t about giving these people a platform.” I sighed. “We’ve fought against the closed-mindedness of this town before. And we won, but not without a lot of heartache and exposure.” I took her hand. “Your wedding is about you and Ginger. It’s not about making a stand to the idiots of this town. They’d love a fight. A big nasty brawl down on the beach. My father may even come out of the woodwork to preach the salvation if he heard about it.”