by Angel Lawson
“To bed.”
“Are you coming with me?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Not tonight. You’re exhausted and I can promise you one thing…”
“What’s that?”
“When you and I make love again, it’s going to take all the energy you have.”
I linked my arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him once more before he carried me off to bed.
46
Hayden
Spring was a relative term if you lived in Atlanta. The calendar might declare the season but the weather jumped straight from cold to hot, adding a heavy dose of humidity to the mix.
The muggy air wasn’t the only thing that welcomed me at the airport. Sabine along with two dozen fans dressed in my jersey, number 05, waving signs. A mixture of emotion crashed over me. It was an amazing feeling that the fans still wanted me back, that they hadn’t abandoned me. But seeing Sabine waiting for me at the gate landed like a brick in my stomach. She wasn’t happy, despite the fake smile plastered across her mouth, but she didn’t show it. No, she was here to do a job and that meant I was back on the clock too.
I guess my recovery was officially over.
“Baby!” she squealed when she saw me. I scanned the area for the photographers I knew were waiting. Sure enough a flash, then five more, blinded me as Sabine pulled me into a tight hug. Dots swirled in front of my eyes from the camera and I felt a wave of dizziness crash over me.
“Smile, asshole. The cameras are watching,” she whispered in my ear, followed by a wet kiss.
The fans went crazy when they saw that, well most of them, I noticed a few girls give Sabine scowls as she snuggled under my free arm. I fought back an amused laugh.
Ah, that explained the eye twitch. She wasn’t just unhappy. She was pissed.
“There’s a car waiting outside,” she said, calmly, linking her fingers with mine. Under her breath she added, “You look good. Walking without a limp, no bruises. Everyone will be happy.”
Everyone but me.
Security noticed our situation and came to help us out the airport door. The paparazzi wasn’t done though. The cameras continued their assault and I held my hand up to black the flashes, each one compounding my growing headache. Along with the clicks, questions came fast and furious.
“Hayden are you all better?”
“Much better, thank you.”
“How’s your recuperation?”
“Painful. Slow. And hopefully over.”
“Did you suffer a concussion?”
“I did, but thank goodness I have a thick skull.”
“Will you be ready for the preseason conditioning Monday?”
“I plan on it.”
“What was it like being back home? See any friends? Catch up with anyone?”
My eyes slid to the person that asked the last question, his eyes twinkling with mischief. I didn’t change my expression, not once but replied, “I spent most of my time at the A5 gym getting my ass kicked—unfortunately there wasn’t a lot of time for socializing.”
The car idled by the curb and the driver held the door for us as we squeezed in the back. Sabine kept the smile on her lips as long as we were in sight of the cameras, but the minute we got enough distance, it vanished.
“Somebody hand me an Oscar,” she muttered. “So listen, we’ve got a packed weekend. Once you told Bryant you were coming back, he wanted to get you visible before practice on Monday.”
“What? No. I need a few days to acclimate.”
Mope in my apartment was really what my plans entailed. Dwell on my anger. Stew about my friends. Try desperately not to think about how incredibly hot Heaven looked with my friends’ hands all over her.
“You had eight weeks, Hayden, you don’t get any more than that. Sure you’ll get to ease into practice and they’ll take it slow, but from here on you’re back at work.”
I groaned and reached into my bag for a bottle of medication. I took out three and swallowed them dry. Sabine watched me carefully, a flicker of empathy ran across her face.
“I’m glad you’re home. My spring was boring as hell. Bryant didn’t think it would look good for me to be seen without you and my schedule was packed anyway.” She rested her hand on my thigh. “I know things have been strained lately. Your friends back home have a way of winding you up, but we can ease back into this again. Hanging out. Having a good time. You can prove to the world that you’re better and ready to bring the championship home.”
I stared at the window, watching the lights of the city get closer. The stadium just to the west. I made this decision, I told myself. I wanted this. I left, for god’s sake. I could have had everything back, and I left.
Sabine’s hand tightened against my leg unnecessarily, and I slowly removed it.
“Did you fuck her?” she asked, pushing her hair over her shoulder.
“What?”
“Heaven, that girl you’re so obsessed with.”
“I’m not obsessed with her, Sabine. We’re just…” I swallowed. Saying the word cut me if I wanted to admit it or not. “Friends.”
She snorted. “Well, whatever. I obviously can’t get mad if you did. She’s pretty. A little annoying, but as long as you were discreet, sleeping with an ex-girlfriend isn’t the worst thing you could do. Honestly, I wish you would have, then you could’ve knocked that chip off your shoulder.”
I touched my temples, willing away the headache. “Shut up, Sabine. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m not stupid, Hayden. I saw how you looked at her.” She rolled her eyes. “How you all looked at her. Is that the problem? Did you lose her to one of the other guys?”
I didn’t say a word. Not one, because my mind was still a jumble from my melt-down with Anderson earlier in the day. Part of what threw me off was the fact that he didn’t freak out. Why didn’t he panic when he saw them together? Why didn’t he get mad? He had a public career to handle. He hated change.
Why was I the only one still struggling?
The car pulled up to my apartment, a high rise downtown. The doorman opened my door but Sabine grabbed my hand before I could get out. “Get your shit together, Hayden. I’ll give you tonight to sleep off the jet-lag, but starting tomorrow you’re no longer the small-town nobody. You’re Hayden Pierce, Star Goalie for Atlanta United. You have obligations.”
I yanked my hand away and strode into the building, grabbing my suitcase on the way. I knew Sabine was right. I knew Bryant wanted the best for my career.
Unfortunately, neither of them would ever understand my heart.
47
Heaven
“Everything’s perfect,” Amber whispered to me, taking a peek down the grassy aisle. Fairy lights twinkled in the tree limbs, creating a canopy of shining light. She clutched her bouquet. “Thank you for everything, Heaven.”
“It was my turn to rescue you,” I said. “I owed you.”
“I also need to thank you for not letting me go down to Oceanside and burning that hell-hole to the ground.”
“Bailing you out of jail for arson was not on my list of things to do today.” I laughed. “Eating cake. Catching the bouquet, dancing...any and all of those things, but not jail.”
“We’ll get them. I already have a plan.”
“Good. Count me in. Revenge is my favorite.”
She smiled and pulled me in for a hug. “Oh my God, I’m so nervous.”
Amber stood near the house, waiting for the signal. Ginger would enter from the other side.
“Don’t be. She looks amazing. You look amazing. Two amazing people are coming together and I couldn’t be happier.”
“I don’t think I’m the only reason you’re happy.” She looked across the yard at the three men wearing light gray suits, ushering guests to their seats. Jackson caught my eye and winked, sending a rush of heat across my skin. “You can thank me later for picking out those suits. Damn, they wear them well.”
&nbs
p; “Who knew coming back to Allendale would make everything better for all of us.”
A small crease lined her forehead. “Well, not all of us. We are missing one of the four.”
“Hayden made his choice.”
“That’s it?”
“For now. Yeah.”
The Justice of the Peace nodded at Anderson, who then walked in our direction. His hair was casually swept back, an artfully arranged mess. I blushed as his green eyes swept over my dress. Jackson and Oliver both took positions on one side or the other of the Justice.
“I won the coin toss,” Anderson said, offering me the crook of his arm. I slid mine into it, feeling the soft fabric of his jacket. There was something oddly intimate about walking like this. Bodies barely touching. “You look beautiful, Heaven.”
“Thank you.” His gaze held such warmth. How could I have ever let him go like that?
The violinist started the music for the procession and the guests stood, all eyes on the two of us. Especially four eyes in the front. I focused on them, on my footsteps and calming my racing heart. I felt Anderson’s breath in my ear and a chill when he said, “One day, this will be us. I promise you that.”
My step faltered at his statement, but he held me upright, so smoothly that no one noticed.
At the altar, I took my position and the music swelled, changing for the brides as they took center stage. But for that one moment it was me and the three of them up there alone, and I could envision what Anderson said, that one day we’d stand in front of our friends and family and declare our commitment.
I knew one thing for certain, now that I had them back in my life I would never let them go again, but something else nagged. Something that lingered despite the smile I wore as Amber and Ginger started down the aisle.
Once upon a time I was drowning, literally drowning, and four boys came and saved my life. I realized with startling clarity that one of us was gasping for air and it was my turn to come to the rescue.
48
Hayden
I woke just before dawn, bed sheets twisted around my torso, after my second long, restless night. My head throbbed, the dull ache that seemed to follow me around these days didn’t make what I had to do any easier. I’d taken two days to acclimate being back in Atlanta. The first day nursing the mother of all headaches I could only assume came from dehydration and the paparazzi cameras. I’d also been sulking a little, knowing my friends were all celebrating Amber’s wedding without me. A choice I’d made, but one that hurt all the same.
Today, though, I shed all aspects of the injured Hayden Pierce and ventured back into the world of fame, endorsements, and athleticism.
I was officially forsaking my past. Before there was one foot there, a strand of my soul still attached to the others, but Sabine was right. I needed to get my head into the game. There was nothing for me in Allendale anymore—there couldn’t be.
My phone vibrated on the bedside table and I reached for it and the bottle of water.
“Hello?”
“Hayden! You’re back!”
“I am,” I said, trying to find my voice. “How are you, Bryant?”
“Amazing now that my star client is back and ready to prove to the world he’s in tip-top condition. Tell me you’re up for it?”
“Up for what, exactly?”
“I know the first day of practice is tomorrow, but since you came early and you’ve had time to rest, there’s a small exhibition today for the Children’s Hospital down at the stadium. It’s the perfect chance to get your face back out there with a little meet-and-greet and autograph signings.”
I sat on the edge of my bed and fumbled for two more pills, taking a huge gulp of water, pretty sure the flight left me majorly dehydrated. “Sure, okay, what time?”
“Starts at one p.m. I’ll be there at noon to pick you up.”
It was only nine now. That gave me time for a quick workout and shower before he came.
“Sounds good.”
“Excellent!” Bryant sounded so happy—so pleased.
“I’ll be ready,” I said and hung up the phone. I stood, stepping over my sketch book and bag of pencils. I felt the ache of dehydration in my limbs, but there was no time to slack off now. I had to stick to my routine—focus—do everything I could to get back in the game. The charity event was the perfect opportunity to prove to everyone that Hayden Pierce, the athlete, the commodity, was back.
49
Heaven
“Anything?” I asked as we walked through the airport.
Anderson checked his phone, scanning all the social media pages for updates about Hayden.
“Just that he arrived two days ago and met Sabine at the airport.”
“I guess we go to his apartment then—hopefully we can catch him there.”
I’d kept my mouth shut through the entire wedding, refusing to cause any sort of drama after the challenges of the prior days, but the instant Amber and Ginger drove off in the limo I gathered my boys to the side and told them my plan. There was no pushback about me going to Atlanta, only that Anderson come with me, since he still had an apartment here and knew his way around.
We caught the earliest flight, getting into the city mid-morning. I had a growing sense of urgency gnawing at my gut. Something vague, like we needed to hurry. I felt Hayden slipping through my fingers and the more I thought about him leaving without talking to me—talking to us, seemed wrong. Really wrong.
We’d already lost two years to poor communication, I wasn’t willing to let him go so easily this time.
“When he stormed out the other day, did anything else seem off?”
Anderson ran his hand through his hair. “Just that he seemed lost—maybe even confused. I’m not even sure he was upset about seeing you with the other guys. It was more like an undercurrent of anger.”
“He’s been like that for weeks,” I said. “We had a big argument on a run one day. He just stormed off and we’d barely spoken since.”
“That really doesn’t seem like him. None of this seems like him.”
The city streets were clogged with traffic, despite the early hour. I wasn’t used to so much traffic and the clock was ticking. Anderson’s hand covered mine. A thought crossed my mind. “What if Sabine’s there?”
“Sabine isn’t his girlfriend,” he reminded me, although that whole concept felt strange, but who was I to judge?
“What if he doesn’t want to see us? Or won’t see us? Or refuses?”
“Babe,” Anderson said, as the driver cursed another car. “I’m not saying this is going to go the way we want it to, but it’s Hayden; he’ll listen to what you have to say.”
I’d never been so nervous before and I felt selfish. Selfish because I wanted all them back—not just the three that I had. I wanted Hayden, too.
After what seemed like forever, the car came to a stop in front of a tall building with slick blue-glass windows. The entrance was sophisticated. Hayden really did live a different life now. Why would he want to give it up?
Anderson linked our fingers as we walked into the building. He showed the doorman a card he had, allowing us access to Hayden’s apartment. He’d given it to him when they both first moved to the city, in case of an emergency. This counted, right?
My stomach dropped as the elevator soared to the top of the building, the floor numbers ticking off with a small chime. When they opened, Anderson led the way, walking down a wide hallway and turning past a large window that looked out and over the city.
I stopped and took in the view—a view that reeked of success, privilege. I felt Anderson next to me and said, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Maybe he has what he needs here. What if that stuff about Sabine was a lie, just to give himself an excuse to leave. Maybe there’s someone other than Sabine? Maybe there’s a slew of other girls?” Oh god, I felt weak in the knees at the thought of that. I turned and looked around the tastefully
decorated hallway. “Hayden has the success he’s fought for his whole life. Who are we to challenge him on that?”
He sighed and rubbed his chin. “I don’t think he’s happy. He may be successful, but I don’t think he’s happy and I think that if our positions were reversed, he’d follow me across the country and kick my ass.” He took my hand. “We need to talk to him, Heaven, because if we don’t I’m not sure the rest of us can ever be whole.”
I recognized the truth in that statement and followed him to the door. Anderson knocked against the solid wood, the sound echoing back in the empty hallway.
He held up the key. “Should I?”
“I don’t know.” But I knew I wanted to see his place. See where he’d been living all this time.
Anderson didn’t ask me again, slipping the key in the slot. The bolt shifted and he opened the door. The apartment behind it came into view; everything was gray and white, expertly decorated. It was also sterile, void of anything personal. If I was looking for a piece of Hayden here, an insight to his life, I didn’t think I would find it.
“Do you think he even came here?” I asked, walking into the sparse room. Anderson walked over to the kitchen counter where he picked up a ticket stub.
He held it up. “He at least came here after his flight.”
“I’m calling him,” I said, pulling out my phone. “We’re here. He’ll have to see us, right?”
Anderson nodded and started across the living room.
I hit the send button and heard the first ring. Another faint ring sounded back, but this one nearby. I frowned. “Do you hear that?”
“Yeah,” he walked down the hallway toward the muffled sound of the ringing phone. It was coming from behind a closed door.
My heart pounded in my chest, wondering who or what we would find. Anderson stood before it and knocked, calling out his name. “Hayden, it’s me, Anderson.”