Cal steered the crawler a little to the right, aiming it just beyond the rear of the ship. He released the accelerator, allowing gravity and momentum to carry the heavy machine forward.
“You were right, Calvin,” Josephson spoke so softly she could hardly be heard over the engine.
Cal furrowed his brow in confusion. “About what?”
“Me. That night around the campfire.”
He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before fixing his gaze on the looming tail of the sleeper ship. “Look, I’m sorry. I was just really upset and said some things I shouldn’t have.”
“Maybe, but it was the truth. As much as I wanted to deny it, you were right. I’m too hard on people around me. I sabotage myself and then I blame others for what happens to me. There’s no one else to blame for this. I failed.”
“At what?”
“She’s dead, Calvin. It was my duty to protect her.”
Cal caught a flash of metal out of the corner of his eye and the unmistakable click of a safety being released. He slammed on the crawler’s brakes, and jammed up against the seatbelt as it skidded to a halt. Glass clattered and Neil cursed from the back seat. Cal unlatched his belt and lunged at Josephson just before the pistol reached her temple. He grabbed the barrel and twisted backwards, causing her to shout in pain as he wrested it from her left hand.
“What the fuck, Josephson?” he shouted.
“God damn it, at least let me go back as a corpse,” she screamed. “She died. Under my watch. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
Neil interrupted. “Traci, you did everything you could to get that monster away from her.”
“It wasn’t enough.” Josephson broke down and began to sob.
Even as he ejected the magazine and cleared the chamber of her weapon, Cal couldn’t help but feel sorrow for Josephson. The deep emotional toll of Elaine Montoya’s death was too great even for the hard façade of the lieutenant. For the first time since he met her, Cal saw the human side of Lieutenant Josephson. The image in his mind of the aggressive, dictatorial officer played in stark contrast to the wounded, vulnerable woman in the seat next to him who wanted to take her own life.
It was always about duty, he realized. The fact that I came out of sleep early and became part of the crew, even though I wasn’t a member… That’s why she couldn’t stand me.
Cal dropped the pistol over the back of the seat, where it clanked on a sample jar as it dropped to the floor.
“You gave all you could,” Cal added. “You let that thing beat the tar out of you and you kept going. You kept trying to pull it away.”
“I couldn’t. No matter what I did, I couldn’t keep it from finishing her off.”
“Because it’s an animal, not a soldier. Hell, it’s probably never seen a gun before. If it was hungry, how was it supposed to react? Catch the prey.”
“Fuck you! It should have attacked me instead,” she screamed through her tears.
“If it did, we wouldn’t have gotten there in time. Elaine would still be dead, and so would you. I mean, did you see that thing? It was twelve feet long, jumped like a cat on steroids, and the claws on that thing… shit, it might as well have been the grim reaper.”
“Huh,” Neil added. “A reaper bear. Now isn’t that something scary?”
“It would have been better if it killed me,” she continued, ignoring them.
“Why?” Cal asked callously. “So you wouldn’t have guilt over this dumbass idea that your death would have meant something?”
“It would have,” Josephson insisted.
“Not if both of you died,” Cal retorted. “I’m sure if death was inevitable, Colonel Dayton would rather it be only one instead of two. And since it would have been two if that thing killed you first, I don’t see much more to the argument. Yes, it sucks that Elaine died. Yes, I’m upset that she died, and am sure as shit her husband and kids are going to be devastated, but it’s done. You’re alive, and we still need you.”
“For what? I can’t go back out there. I can’t put anyone else’s life on the line when I’ve already lost someone.”
“Take a break,” Neil soothed. “You need to rest up first. I’m sure we can find you something around camp to do.”
“Neil’s right,” Cal said. “I’m sure Hunter or Dayton will find something you can do.”
“The only thing that Colonel Dayton is getting from me is my resignation.”
“If that’s what it takes to clear your head, then I’ll back you up on it,” Cal retorted.
“Right. Like you’d ever do me the favor.”
“I would.” Cal crossed his hand over his heart. “Swear to God. I know you don’t believe me given our history, but I swear that I will help you get back on your feet when we get back to camp. And if that means going to bat for you with the colonel, then that is exactly what I’ll do.”
She eyed him with suspicion. “Why would you do that for me?”
“Because everyone deserves a second chance when they’ve been knocked down.”
Seconds ticked by, but Josephson neither spoke nor moved.
“Come on, Traci. Let me help you.”
“I don’t deserve help.”
“Neither did I, but Dad believed I did. Trust me, if you knew anything about me before we left Earth, you probably would have agreed with me.” He laughed nervously and shook his head. “It turns out Dad was right. You can make up your mind later whether or not you agree with him, but you have to take the chance first. Please.”
She looked through the windscreen at the lively camp extending between the river and the ship. After a long pause, she sighed.
“Alright.”
“Thank you,” he said as he exhaled loudly. The air of relief in the cabin was palpable. Even Neil let out a rush of air as he settled back into his position in the rear seat.
Cal released the brakes and coaxed the crawler back onto course. The rest of the short trip back to Michael was spent in near silence, and he couldn’t wait to open the door and leave the expedition behind for good. The crawler reached its destination, and Cal turned off the turbo-diesel engine, which let out a cough before it settled in to rest. Cal’s fingertips rested on the door latch for a moment. His head touched the window sill and he took two deep breaths before opening the door and sliding onto the running board. Hunter awaited them with a broad grin and tussled sandy hair.
“You’re home early,” he grinned. “Couldn’t stay away from Alexis, could you? She’ll be here in a minute, along with Elaine’s family.”
Cal dropped to the ground and trudged slowly to the base of the ramp where his friend waited. He could not bear to look at him except for a couple short glances. As he approached, he looked up one more time, and saw that Hunter’s grin had disappeared.
“What’s wrong?”
“Get Doctor Taylor. Traci’s hurt.”
“Oh my God, is she alright?”
“She’s messed up.” Cal took another step up the ramp, starting to walk by his friend. He paused and turned to him again. “Oh, and keep her away from any guns or knives for a bit.”
“Why? What the hell happened out there?”
Cal swallowed hard as a shiver ran down his spine. “Elaine’s dead.”
Hunter was caught speechless and slack jawed. His eyes moved to the giant truck, where Neil was helping Lieutenant Josephson down to the ground. Moments later, Alexis bounded up to the bottom of the ramp, with a broad shouldered man and two children, a boy and a girl. Calvin took one look at the girl’s face and saw the reflection of Elaine Montoya looking back at him. Alexis came up to throw her arms around him, but he brushed her off and walked straight up to Trevor Montoya.
“Mr. Montoya, sir,” he cleared his throat. “I have something to tell you.”
Cal used every ounce of courage he had left to tell Trevor of his wife’s death, and to console him for his loss. The man crumpled to a heap at his feet, weeping. His children gathered around him and hugged hi
m, bursting into tears themselves.
Cal turned on his heels, his lip quivering, deep emotions rising up within him. He marched past Alexis, who he again brushed off, as he darted down the stern of the ship and turned the corner around the port side. The instant he was out of sight, he fell to his knees and wept for another family crushed by the dreams of Columbus.
Capt Haruka Kimura
14 April, Year of Landing, midday
Camp Eight
Come on, Maria. Where are you?
Haruka tried to keep still as she waited in the makeshift foyer of the Palm Palace. Her legs wanted to pace as she kept watch for the elder Serrano, but she forced herself to stay put, so as not to miss Maria passing by the building. Haruka’s palms began to sweat. She was nervous about confronting Maria, but time was up; Haruka needed her to start contributing to the village workload. Even more disturbing was the fact that Maria seemed to be failing in her responsibilities as a mother. Gabi had, twice in the past week, been found alone by other villagers, and would refuse to go back to her mother when she was brought back. This led Haruka to ask Kelly Vandemark to split her time and watch Gabi when she could.
She pulled the curtain aside a few inches and scanned the village common, but there was still no sign of her. This was discouraging, but not surprising. Maria had no set habits, either. Haruka knew that sometime in the late mornings, she would leave the village to go to the river. She knew that Maria was in her hut when she decided to lay the trap. Only one path ran between the village and the waterways, and Haruka had not seen Maria in the roughly two hours that she had been watching.
Haruka’s stomach growled, but she ignored it. Leaving the Palace for food might mean having to wait another day to confront Maria, and Haruka could not accept wasting a large portion of her own day to come out empty handed.
Come on, she chanted to herself. Though she did not speak, her lips moved ever so slightly in rhythm with the words in her mind.
As if Haruka had willed it, Maria walked past the Palm Palace and headed for the path to the water. She went to launch from her hiding place, but paused as the idea of her ambush devolving into a screaming match crossed her mind.
No. Follow her down. Get her alone.
Haruka waited until Maria disappeared below the hill’s horizon and then slipped from inside the Palace. She moved to the edge of the village, confirming that her target was still oblivious, then began to follow her down the path at a distance. Whenever a colonist would come up the path, Haruka bowed her head and danced to the side of the path, obscuring herself behind a tree whenever she had the opportunity; her nerves tingled at the prospect of blowing her cover.
Gradually the path flattened out and then split; a smaller game trail wandered to the right through thick, often thorny undergrowth on its way to the river. She knew Maria would have taken this offshoot, as it was more secluded, and led to nearly the exact spot along the banks where her husband was bludgeoned to death. Maria had been spending more time at the site over the past week. Dr. Petrovsky had told her that Maria would need space to heal in her own way, but Haruka could not fathom why Maria would choose to walk the site of her nightmare day after day.
Haruka took a breath to steel her nerves before plunging down the path after Maria. Branches brushed against her legs as they carried her. She gained a singular focus on a rock formation just barely visible through the tall trees and dense shrubs. She came around a particularly large flower vine, and caught Maria off guard at the base of the boulder.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Maria screamed as she backed against the rock.
“We need to talk.”
“No we don’t.”
“You can’t just ignore me like you do the doctor,” Haruka retorted sternly. “You can grieve if you have to, but you also need to become a functioning member of the village. I can’t have you moping around forever when we’re in desperate need of hands.”
“I can’t do it,” she said, biting her lip.
“You can do something.”
“I can’t. You don’t understand.”
Haruka’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not getting out of this. Other than the doctor and his clinic, you were the first person in the village to get a home. We’ve let you grieve for months. Your wounds have healed. Well, your physical ones. I don’t care at this point what’s going on in your head, because I can’t carry your workload for you anymore. Kelly can’t carry your workload for you anymore. Kristin, Gina, Charlotte, Nick. None of them can carry you any longer.”
“I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough.” Maria’s voice wavered as she turned her head away.
“Bull. This is coming from the mouth of the woman who braved the uncertainty of unproven space travel. The woman who took two orphans under her care after the crash of the pod. The woman who cared for and protected three children as the survivors blazed through an unknown jungle to reach this site.” Haruka paused and pursed her lips. “I hear the voice, but I’m not looking at the woman. No, the real Maria Serrano would have taken tragedy and built a stronger self. She’s not this crying wreck that I see every day.”
Maria squeaked a reply. “You don’t know me then. You don’t know why I can’t do this alone.”
“God damn it, you’re not alone. You have the whole village pulling for you, ready to give you what you need when you need it. And they give it, too. All you do is take.” She shook her head. “No, I take that back. You gave us Gabi, when you decided to stop caring for her. She’s terrified of you, Maria.”
“I’m so sorry,” Maria whispered in reply.
“Stop being sorry and do something! Anything. Weave some roof panels. Cook a meal. Chop some firewood. I don’t care what.”
“I can’t do it without him.” Maria’s hands fell to her belly. Haruka’s heart sunk into her feet.
Oh God.
“You’re… you’re… Oh, Maria.” Haruka reached her hand out to comfort Maria, who shrunk back slightly. Haruka slowly withdrew her hand and shook her head. She knew that her bridge with Maria had forever been burned, and that consolation from her would be unwelcome. “How… how long have you known?”
“What does it matter to you?”
“Because I’m your friend.”
“You were my friend,” Maria corrected. “I have no friends.”
“That’s not true. Emilia and Ken. Troy and Gina. The Vandemarks.” Haruka waited for a response, but got only a shoulder roll and a turned cheek. “They all care about you. They all love you. They want to see you happy again, and would do anything for you.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Who have you been confiding in?”
“I can’t. No one understands.”
“Then who told you you’re pregnant?” she asked bluntly.
“Ken,” Maria sniffed.
“Good. That’s a good start. Can you talk to him more about what’s going on?”
“No.”
“What about Emilia? She’ll understand.”
“No. No one understands.” Maria stepped from the side of the rock and brushed past Haruka. “You’re the last one that would understand. You didn’t have to lose the love of your life.”
“No,” Haruka admitted. “I didn’t have to lose my love. Just everyone and everything else.”
Maria stopped at the edge of the path. Her fingers traced a brilliant orange flower vine dancing in the breeze at the level of her shoulders. “You still have everyone.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t have my mother, or my sister. Or my father.”
“They’re all alive.”
“I have no way of knowing that.” Haruka gestured sharply into the air. “The other ships could have blown up like Raphael did, and we would never have known it.” She then let out a solemn sigh. “Besides, even if the ships landed, they have to know that ours blew up, which means I’m as good as dead in their eyes. Plus, I’m not sure if my father made it very long. I found out before we got here that he was accused of a s
erious crime. One punishable by death. ”
“Isn’t that ironic,” Maria shot back callously. “The executioner’s father is a criminal.”
“I only pulled the trigger because it needed to be done. Would you rather he killed someone or dragged them off into the jungle that day instead? Would you rather see his arrogant face in your dreams, knowing he’s still out there?” Only the rush of the river answered her. “That’s what I thought.”
“You still didn’t have to watch your world die. You will never understand that.”
Haruka gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. For a moment, she saw the impish grin of Marco Mancini. His face faded quickly, and she relived the moment that Agent Evans thrust her blade into his back and discarded him.
“You don’t know the whole story. I had to watch my best friend die on this planet, with nothing I could do to save him. He, too, was murdered. By a traitor on the crew. I’ve never told anyone else about it.”
“You’re just saying that. Quit trying to make Luis’s death into nothing,” she screamed.
“I’m not lying,” Haruka cut her off. Her voice was stern, but controlled. “I’m trying to get you to understand that you’re not alone. You’re not the only person who has had shit go wrong.” She took a deep breath, and lowered her voice. “I won’t pretend that I understand the trauma of being raped. I truly can’t express how sorry I am for what you’ve gone through. But it’s time to move on. Make the choice to be strong again. And if you need to, find someone to lean on, before your support system falls apart.”
Haruka did not give Maria time to respond. She marched quickly downstream along the banks of the river, towards her own sanctuary near its mouth. She knew her own wounds needed tending, her own demons would rise again, and she would need the serenity to deal with them.
Darius Owens
15 April, Year of Landing, 08:55
Gabriel landing site
Project Columbus: Omnibus Page 68