by Cara North
“Jonas,” she whispered.
As if catching himself off guard he stood hastily and took a step back from her. “I’m sorry, Frankie.”
He turned his back to her and put the spray back into the box. When he turned around again, he held a few bandages, he was enigmatic. She couldn’t get a read on him. He made quick business of putting the bandages on her. As if unsure what to do next, he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and took a step back.
“I…” she started.
“Yeah, I have to get ready. I need to get to the lot before I get in trouble with my keeper.” He winked at her, indicating she was his keeper, and headed out of the room.
Standing in his kitchen in her underwear she could feel the sting of tears again. This time because she knew, she had done this, and there was no taking it back. She started towards the stairs and didn’t care about the pain as she climbed them. She didn’t stop at his door, she went right in. His bathroom door was open, as usual, and he was humming a tune in the shower.
“Jonas.”
The humming stopped. The water spray didn’t spit and spurt from movement. “Um.”
“Jonas, I have to say this or I will regret it for the rest of my life. I may regret it anyways.” She felt the buzz against her chest, the tune of his publicist. Damn the makers of sport clothes and their convenient inside pockets. Sure she had taken the idea and sewn them on her own clothes, but it still irked her!
“Go on, Frankie.” He started back to moving in the shower she could tell by the noise the water made. “Answer the phone.”
Feeling frustrated beyond belief she pulled out the phone and answered with more irritation than she intended for in her tone.
The news was not good.
“What? That’s impossible,” Frankie said it loud enough it got his attention. The shower turned off and the door swung open. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Frankie figured her tone must have spurred him to action. He had the phone out of her fingers in a flash. She hadn’t gripped it very well in her hand since her palm still hurt like hell. She had never cursed at anyone like that in front of him before.
“Hello? What is it?” The publicist must have relayed the information to him. The pictures, the pictures of her falling, of him picking her up, of him carrying her, they were going to be published, they had already been bought, there was nothing she could do to stop it. It happened that fast, moments, not even an hour ago. “Okay. Do what you do.”
He sat the phone down on the counter. His hands pressed against her shoulders, warm, still wet. “You okay?”
“I’m so sorry.” She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. She wanted to run out of there and never look back. This was the end. She mourned it already, tears fell freely. “I know you have plans,” sniff, “I didn’t mean to…”
“To fall, Frankie?” He chuckled. “Are you afraid of the pictures? I’m not worried about that. Are you worried about that?”
She nodded. “They will talk, they will say things.”
“People always say things.” He smoothed his hands over her shoulders in what she imagined was an effort to try to comfort her. “What were you going to say?”
“Selfish. I am so selfish,” she said.
“You’re one of the least selfish people I know. Explain yourself.” He smiled. She could feel it in his tone that he was smiling at her.
“I was going to say I didn’t want you to go on the date. I wanted to say I don’t think I can work for you anymore if I have to watch you with some…woman. I can’t…”
His chin pressed against her shoulder and his arms wrapped around her. He was gloriously naked behind her. His wet skin against her dry flesh, and what remaining clothes she had on, was a welcome feeling.
“Ah, Frankie. What am I going to do with you?”
“Anything you want.” She was ready to give him her soul if he asked for it.
“Intriguing proposition, Francesca.” He placed a kiss on her neck. The same place he had left a hickey before. “I’ll need some time to figure it out.”
He let her go and unexpectedly smacked her on the ass as he passed. “In the meantime, I have to get to work. And so do you.”
Frankie picked up the phone with her fingertips and carried it with her to the room designated as hers across the hall. She chose clothes that were easy to put on. The bandages on her hands already showed blood through them.
Later…
He was going to be late getting home. Very late. Frankie made sure Ish had his evening meal and some snuggle time before she left to go to her apartment. Again, she considered the dog’s luxurious abode over her own. She laughed and said, “Ishmael, do you realize how lucky you are?”
He barked and wagged his tail. His tongue hanging out of his mouth, his head cocked to the side, he looked very happy to be where he was in life.
On her way home, Frankie stopped at a place she had not been to in a very long time, an adult novelty shop. She figured she had better buy something to help her along tonight as she had stopped using toys a long time ago, didn’t need them recently, but knew her hands were not going to be up for anything tonight. It was how she got to sleep in her cold, lonely apartment. A nice orgasm, a less restless night of sleep.
She grabbed a decent vibrator, some accessories, and a random video off the shelf. When she got home, she realized her hands were not going to enjoy the vibrations so she tucked it away in her nightstand. She popped in the porn and pretended to be a young teen again, taking detailed notes in her mind. Porn today was not so story driven as porn from the seventies, the kind Shay had access to, had been. She did see a new trick she could try if she ever had a chance again.
Then she saw it. Frankie sat up straight and paid more attention. The butterfly tattoo on the left ankle of the porn star that just entered the scene looked an awful lot like the one Shay had, and in the exact location. As the camera panned out, Frankie started to feel sick. It was her, wearing a bad wig, a wig Frankie borrowed for Halloween their freshman year of college, the year Shay dropped out. She was wearing contacts to hide her eye color, but there was no doubt about it. Shay had made a porn film. Frankie couldn’t watch what happened next, she stopped the movie, grabbed her phone, and texted Shay immediately.
The next day…
She had bigger things to worry about than Jonas’s morning jog. He understood why she decided not to run since her hands and knees were still skinned up. Frankie could only hope Shay would be on time for once in her life.
She was. They had to meet mid-way between where Frankie lived and where Jonas needed her to be next. It was frustrating, but this could not wait.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Shay?” Frankie could not believe her best friend had kept this from her for years.
“Tell you what?” Shay asked. “I thought I had to meet you here so you could tell me something. I never see you anymore, and I get random texts that tell me nothing about the inside life of our man.”
Frankie had only felt possessive of one other man when it came to Shay. The old memories flooded her. Shay had tried, and failed, to take him. She said it was innocent. Said it was to make sure he was dedicated to Frankie. Frankie said it before she could register anything else. “He is not yours.”
“Whoa, Frankie. Settle down. Sheesh, what the fuck are you so mad about?” Shay was looking her up and down.
Frankie reached into her purse and pulled out the porn. She tossed the case on the table. “Why?”
Shay looked at the case, Barely Legal Cock Sucking Hoes.
Shay shrugged. “I…wanted to be an actress.”
“Shay,” Frankie warned. “Tell me the truth.”
“All right, all right.” Shay put the case into her own bag. “Sit, shit, Frankie. I’ll tell you. You look a mess. What happened to your hands?”
“I’m not a good runner. Back to the point, I don’t have a lot of time.” Frankie took a seat at the table. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Shay, you sat in a gym for a week as an extra.” Frankie knew this side of fame. Shay’s defeat, repeatedly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was ashamed. I mean you’re judging me now and it happened years ago. I’m not like you, Frankie. I’m not smart, I’m just pretty. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be me?” Shay looked around as though at any moment someone would notice her and ask for a photo. She had picked up commercials, more extra work, but she was not breaking through.
“Do you realize when you land that first role, the one you star in, they will dig this up. He will tell just to get money out of it. I spend my entire fucking day making sure Jonas doesn’t do something that could destroy him in the press and you did this, knowing, knowing that it would be disastrous. It’s like you set yourself up for failure, Shay. You’re better than this.” Frankie sighed. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out. It was Jonas. “I have to get this.”
“Who the fuck is more important than your best friend?” Shay opened her eyes wide as she asked.
Frankie held up her hand and answered the phone, “Hello?”
He knew by her voice.
“No, I’m fine. Yes. I know. I will be there, don’t worry. I know.” He had sent her a new task for the day and she dreaded it as much as she dreaded her current meeting.
Shay crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair. Her petite leg started swinging back and forth with impatience.
“Shay,” Frankie said as she hung up the phone.
“You’ve made your choice, Frankie. Just like you did in high school. Guess what, I did fuck him. I ran into him when you went to New York for graduate school. He was home for a weekend or something. He thought I knew where you were. I did, but I told him you wanted to get on with your life. That he should too. Then I fucked him in the back of his car. I don’t know why you were so hung up on him. He sucked. So I don’t need your help getting to Jonas Gunner, Frankie. I have a screen test this week with none other than your employer, and you know what? I plan to fuck him, too.” Shay stood up, put her sunglasses on her face, and looped her oversized Chanel bag over her shoulder. “Maybe you’ll get it through your head, Frankie. I’m your best friend. Without me, you’re just an average person, a teacher for crying out loud. I’m done carrying you through life.”
Frankie steeled her spine. She wasn’t about to give Shay the satisfaction of a reaction. She had stomped off a few steps then turned to look at Frankie. Being around Jonas had done something to her. He had given her confidence, not the bravado she was sure she had when she met him, but genuine ability to think she mattered as much to the people around her as they mattered to her. Appropriately, she put up two middle fingers and waved them at Shay.
Too bad paparazzi wasn’t there to catch that picture. Shay’s face was priceless.
Later…
“Hi, Frankie.” Janice greeted her as she sat down.
“Hi.” Frankie said awkwardly. It was a hell of a day already. What else could go wrong?
“Fane-kie,” Buddy Junior leaned over to say hi and hug her. His mother tried to get her hands on the toddler, but he was too fast. He grabbed Frankie with two chocolate covered hands and squeezed.
“Oh my. Hello.” Frankie said as she embraced the toddler.
Satisfied he was greeted, he went back to his cake.
Janice looked horrified. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s a shirt.” Frankie laughed. “And a handprint on my shoulder…”
“And boob,” Janice pointed out.
The waiter arrived and they ordered lunch.
“Well, I am sure it will make a fashion statement should anyone care to look at me.” Frankie shrugged.
“I’ll have it cleaned for you.” Janice offered.
“Cotton, I’ll toss it in the machine. Don’t worry about it.” Frankie refrained from telling her how many shirts she had ruined by now. “Jonas said you wanted to meet with me. Is there anything I can do for you?”
Janice gave a confused expression.
“Do you need a sitter so you and Buddy can enjoy a night out?” Frankie asked. She wasn’t sure what the woman wanted.
“You think I want you to do work for me?” Janice said it as though Frankie had just slapped her in the face.
“I don’t know. He just told me to meet you here.” Frankie was feeling awkward, confused.
“I wanted to talk to you, Frankie. I owe you an apology, for that night. I…didn’t know.” Janice looked very sincere.
“Thank you, but you don’t owe me anything. He tends to break the conventions of the agreement all the time. I think it makes other people awkward because they don’t know if I’m to be seen and not heard. Half the time, I don’t know if I’m to be seen and not heard.” Frankie sighed.
“Frankie.” Janice looked more confused than ever. “Are you or are you not dating my brother?”
Glad it was only water she was choking on, Frankie tried to get her composure and her mind right at the same time. Buddy Junior patted her arm leaving more chocolate hand prints.
“Fane-kie,” He said as he tried to help.
“You don’t know, do you?” Janice put a hand up to her own mouth and closed her eyes. “God, I’m sorry. I, he…you…Can we just start over?”
Frankie nodded, took another drink of water because she really needed it to go down right this time.
“Thanks, Buddy. You helped a lot. I need to be more careful.” Frankie smiled at the toddler. She looked at her arm, then to Janice.
Janice rubbed her forehead and finally asked, “Do you want to come with me to fashion week?”
“Me?” Frankie was pretty sure, even with her pay as an assistant, she could not afford couture.
“Yeah,” Janice looked at her. “Why not? Jonas should be busy with filming and I’d like to get to know you better. I’m sure you can take care of whatever he needs from New York.”
The mention of filming brought back the morning encounter with Shay. Her face must have shown her thoughts.
“What?” Janice asked.
“I lost a friend today…she didn’t die.” Frankie said as she watched Janice’s facial expression. “But our friendship is beyond resurrection.”
“I’m sorry.” Janice nodded. “I’ve lost a few over the years. It gets difficult, especially in this business. I’m sure you’re learning that. Fortunately, we have always had a strong family. Even when our parent’s split they agreed to come together for family things.”
“My parents are a little confused right now,” Frankie admitted. “One minute I’m teaching at the university, the next I’m trying to teach abroad, and then I ended up in this job.”
“He likes that about you, but I’m sure you already know that.” Janice said.
“I have a feeling I don’t know a lot of things right now.” Frankie frowned. As if summoned, the phone began ringing. His ringtone, the chorus of Super Bass sung by Nikki Manaj. “Excuse me one moment.”
Janice gave her a telling smile.
Frankie walked outside and to a quiet place out of earshot of others. “Sir?”
He told her he saw the list of people he was supposed to be running lines with in the morning and that Shay was on it. He wanted to know if she wanted him to get her a part, because he wouldn’t feel right with her as his leading lady. It would be weird for him.
Frankie’s hand went up to her heart. She tried to hold back the surge of emotions as she said, “I don’t want her anywhere near you, but I can’t make that decision.”
He had one final question for her and it hung in her thoughts as she walked back to the table where his sister sat wiping the chocolate off
of Buddy Junior’s fingers. Janice said, “He’s such a messy eater.”
Janice looked up at Frankie. Frankie was certain the day’s rollercoaster was wearing on her. She was exhausted. She sank down into the seat and tried for a smile.
“What’s wrong, Frankie?”
“I think you’ve been mistaken. He just gave me Friday night off because he definitely has a date.” Frankie tried not to break down, but really, how much more did she have to take?
“Of course he does, don’t you remember? It was your idea, Frankie.” Janice frowned at her. “You did get tickets, right?”
Janice seemed a bit panicked now. “Oh, God, he didn’t tell you to get them tickets did he?”
“I’m so confused right now.” Frankie rubbed her forehead. She pushed her glasses down her nose and pinched the bridge.
“He told us you suggested he take our mother out on a date since she hasn’t been out since the divorce. He wanted to take her to the symphony. He didn’t tell you any of that? It isn’t in the schedule?” Janice groaned. “Not for nothing, Frankie, but when he starts working he will get absorbed in it, so you have to be extra diligent about making him clarify things. He drove me nuts on that last one. That’s why I suggested he hire an assistant. I wasn’t about to do it again.”
Frankie could only feel the relief that it was his mom, not some starlet.
“Oh, Frankie.” Janice shook her head and said, “I do hope you two get it together soon. You’re obviously both in a lot of pain separately.”
Frankie blinked at Janice, unable to say anything. Janice picked up Buddy and told him, “Say bye to Frankie, sweetheart.”
“Bye Fane-kie!” He waved.
“Bye sweetheart.” Frankie smiled. It was impossible not to adore him.
“Maybe I will take you up on the babysitting. Buddy doesn’t trust many people with him, but he would trust you. I know now he told you about the baby.” Janice lit up with happiness as she talked. “Get some rest, Frankie. You’re going to need it soon enough.”