by Amy Vastine
If not for Kyle, Jax knew she wouldn’t have had anything to do with Olivia. But Kyle was her brother and he mattered to her.
Jax’s maternal grandmother, the only grandparent she’d known—the only person who’d shown her love—had moved out of Nevada years ago to be with her aging sister. Although Jax didn’t share this part with Ryan, she felt that her grandmother had abandoned her, too. In Jax’s experience, love was a tenuous and elusive thing.
Helping Jax into her wheelchair one day to go outside for some fresh air, Ryan must have noticed the fading bruise on her back while helping her on with a housecoat, because he asked about it. Jax knew it was still there since her doctor had inquired about it, too. Sitting outside in the sun-dappled courtyard of the hospital, she told him about the visit to see her brother the day of her accident. She’d been cleaning up in the kitchen after lunch and had entreated Olivia to register Kyle with Friends for Life, a program that provided male mentors for fatherless boys. No sooner had she made the suggestion than her stepmother had whacked her with a frying pan.
Olivia had apologized immediately for being so clumsy and said she hadn’t been aware that Jax was standing so close behind her when she’d swung around to put the pan away.
It wasn’t the first accident of that kind and they seemed to occur when Olivia was particularly displeased about something Jax had said. Thankfully, they always happened to her and never to Kyle. For all her faults, Jax was certain Olivia loved Kyle. Still, she fervently wished Olivia would sign Kyle up for the program to give him exposure to a father figure and—in Jax’s opinion—a more stable influence.
They talked about Ryan’s job and Jax’s landscaping business, which she’d started after finishing college. Ryan made her feel proud of what she’d accomplished. Jax told him that the company she’d started on her own had grown to the point that she now had five fulltime employees, supplemented by seasonal staff.
The day Jax’s doctor announced she could go home was bittersweet. Jax was glad to be leaving the hospital, but she’d miss her conversations with Ryan. She’d be home and back at work before long. Her team had done everything they could in her absence, but Jax was the driving force behind the business. She needed to return to it as soon as possible to maintain its growth. Diving into work would keep her mind occupied and, she hoped, off Ryan. The thought of not seeing him again or at least not on a regular basis was disheartening.
CHAPTER FOUR
The morning of Jax’s discharge from the hospital, Ryan walked into her room just as a porter was assisting her into a wheelchair. “Big day today, huh?” he greeted her.
She looked up in surprise. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be working.”
“I couldn’t let you leave on your own. I’m taking you home.”
“But…”
“I took the day off. You still need the wheelchair?” he asked. He knew she hadn’t been able to use crutches for her broken ankle because of the fractured scapula. He’d hoped she could get by with a cane and a walking boot once she was out of the hospital.
“The doctor talked to me about it. With my shoulder blade and three broken ribs, they don’t want me hobbling around and putting pressure on my fractures yet. He said I have to wait a couple more weeks before I can use a cane. The hospital is lending me the chair.”
“Just don’t go pulling wheelies in it!”
She laughed, and Ryan felt as if a fist had connected squarely with his gut. As brief as that laugh had been, seeing her face lit up like that had sucked the air out of his lungs. He hadn’t realized how beautiful she truly was until that moment. He was impressed once more by her strength and bravery.
“Here. I’ll get that,” Ryan said to the porter as he was about to push her out of the room. “If a taxi’s been arranged for her, cancel it please.”
The porter nodded.
Ryan swung Jax’s bag, which contained her personal belongings, over his shoulder and wheeled her out to his car.
“How are we going to do this?” Jax asked with another laugh, eyeing his sleek, dark-blue convertible.
Ryan chuckled, too. “I hadn’t considered the wheelchair. Think you can get in there?”
“I believe so. But not on my own.” She smiled, and he felt his world shift. Damn, he was falling hard for her.
“Okay, let’s do this.” He opened the passenger door and adjusted the seat as far back as it would go.
As she balanced on her left leg, he supported her left side, careful not to touch anywhere near her right ribs or scapula. “Lean on me,” he said and guided her into the car. Next, he figured out how to collapse the wheelchair. It slid in his trunk effortlessly, and he climbed into the driver’s seat.
“That worked!” he said with a grin. “Now all I need is your address.”
Jax gave him the address. Familiar with the roads in their community, he didn’t need directions. He drove carefully, circumventing bumps and potholes to avoid jarring her.
Her house was a small rental on the outskirts of town. Looking at the compact and colorful garden in front, he could readily see her skill with plants, even though the flowers were sadly wilted. He assumed that a friend must have watered the ones in planters, as they seemed to have fared better. He chastised himself for not asking if she needed anything done at her house while she was in the hospital. He’d take care of it now and hope the plants would spring back.
But he found they had another dilemma. A short flight of stairs to the front porch made the house inaccessible for Jax. “Is there another way in?” he asked.
“The back patio door is at ground level,” she said. Obviously she’d recognized the problem, too. “My keys are in the side pocket of my bag,” she added.
He dug out her keys and went inside. He came back around to the driveway, eased her out of his car and into the chair, and wheeled her along the walkway. At the patio door, they encountered another challenge. The chair didn’t roll easily over the door tracks, and he didn’t want to push too hard and risk hurting her.
He solved the matter by lifting her out of the chair and carrying her to the sofa. Then he went back outside, wheeled the chair in and locked the door. Turning to her, he felt his heart drop at her distressed look. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No. No.” She waved away his concern with her left hand. “I can’t believe I didn’t consider how I’d get in and out, let alone around.” She pointed toward the narrow staircase. “My bedroom and the main bathroom are upstairs. I didn’t think about how I’d deal with that once I got home. I was so excited about finally being home. Now, I just feel…helpless.”
Her voice trailed off. Ryan feared that for the first time since he’d known her, she might burst into tears. “Hey, don’t worry.” He rushed over and crouched in front of her. “We’ll work it out.”
Her eyes glistened, yet she was tough enough or stubborn enough not to let the tears flow, but he glimpsed her vulnerability.
“Why are you doing this?” she whispered.
“Doing what?”
“Helping me. With everything.”
Ryan rested a hand on her knee. “The honest answer is… I care about you.”
A myriad of emotions flitted across her face, but then she seemed to close in on herself. She drew her knee to the side, rejecting his touch.
He exhaled. “I want to help you. Is that so hard to accept?”
“I don’t need help,” she said emphatically.
“But…” Ryan glanced around. “The door, the stairs…”
“I’ve managed on my own for most of my life. I can figure this out.”
“Do you have anyone you can call if you need to? One of your friends to stay with you?”
She paused before responding. “No. They have their own lives and obligations,” she mumbled.
“If you want to be obstinate, don’t you think it would be best if you did it after you can get around on your own?” Out of character or not, she was being foolish. Why cou
ldn’t she accept what he offered? Ryan’s frustration started to simmer, and he felt he should leave before it boiled over.
Jax shifted on the sofa and winced.
Ryan’s anger was immediately overshadowed by worry. He hated to see her unhappy and in pain. He reminded himself of everything she’d endured. And that was when he realized he was halfway in love with her.
“Let’s try this. Do you have a bathroom on the ground floor?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Tell me what you need from upstairs so you can make do on this level until tomorrow. I’m off tomorrow, too—don’t say anything,” he warned when he saw that she was about to object. “I’ll come by around noon. If you still don’t want my assistance—no strings attached—then I’ll let it go. Okay?”
She nodded almost imperceptibly.
He gathered up all the things she wanted and organized them for her in the main-floor bathroom, living room and kitchen. He brought her a blanket and a pillow for the couch. Finally, he scribbled some numbers on a pad by her phone. “Those are my cell, home and work numbers. If you need anything, don’t be stubborn. Call.” He didn’t give her a chance to respond. “See you tomorrow,” he said and shut the door behind him.
* * *
By the middle of the afternoon, Jax had figured out how to get in and out of her wheelchair without too much difficulty, but the most basic tasks required substantial effort and caused her pain. For now, she was useless at taking care of herself. With the television on to entertain her, she caught herself glancing repeatedly at the paper with Ryan’s phone numbers on it. She was tempted to call him.
She resisted.
Not so much because she wasn’t willing to admit she needed help, which was daunting enough for her. Wanting to call him was about more than that. She missed him, and that scared her.
By the next morning, she was anxiously watching the clock. Other than Kyle, there had never been anyone she wanted to see as much.
She tried to work out how she’d ask Ryan to help her without sounding weak or sending the wrong message.
At the knock on her door, her heart did a little skip and a jump. “Come in,” she called, wheeling her chair closer as Ryan entered. She couldn’t avoid grinning. “Hi.” She pointed at the large insulated bag he was carrying. “What’s in there?”
He raised the bag. “Provisions. I hope you decided to let me hang around. Just in case you tell me to go, I wanted you to have some easy-to-prepare meals.”
Jax felt an uncharacteristic tightness in her chest. Trying to ignore it, she wheeled into the kitchen behind him. “What’s all that?” she asked when he removed a couple of Tupperware containers from the bag.
Ryan looked down at a container. “Lasagna.”
Jax shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. They’re not frozen dinners from the grocery store. Those are homemade, right?”
Ryan smiled. “Correct. Nutritious and delicious.” He lifted another container and checked the label. “This is my mother’s world-famous apple pie.”
“You raided your mother’s refrigerator?”
Ryan laughed, and she felt a tug in her belly, just looking at him.
“Are you kidding? If I did that, she’d skin me alive!” His expression turned serious. “When I told her about you yesterday, she and my sister wanted to make these meals so you wouldn’t have to worry about cooking.”
“You told your mother about me?”
“Uh, huh.”
“And she cooked for me?” Jax glanced at all the containers he’d placed on the counter. “It must have taken hours.”
“Yeah, it did.”
Jax was sorry she’d caused so much work for them. She couldn’t recall anyone going to that much trouble for her. It was unprecedented. “I don’t know what to say.”
“First of all, they didn’t do it to make you feel bad, so stop. Second, a simple ‘thank you’ will suffice. Do you want me to call Mom and you can tell her?”
Jax felt a cold dread at the idea of talking to Ryan’s mother. Her interactions with Olivia had left her ill-prepared to have the type of conversation that would be expected. “Ah, no. How about I write her a note, and you can give it to her for me?”
He studied her carefully. “Okay, but my mom—my whole family—is terrific. You don’t have to be afraid of them.” He positioned a chair beside her and sat down. His vivid blue eyes seemed to look right into her and see what she was feeling. “Jax, not all families are like yours was. Not everyone hits—” He raised a hand when she was about object. “Accidentally or otherwise, and not everyone abandons, physically or emotionally.”
He took her hand in his, rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “Like it or not, I care about you.”
Those words terrified and thrilled her at the same time, and made her question what she felt for Ryan.
Despite not having a clear answer, from that day Jax accepted Ryan’s aid and his presence without complaint as she continued to heal.
It wasn’t strictly out of necessity. She was developing feelings for him.
Ryan spent a lot of his free hours with her, and Jax looked forward to his visits. Occasionally he brought Bongo, which she loved. But as the days passed, the amount of time he spent with her dwindled. It seemed to validate what she’d feared all along. He was getting tired of seeing her. She dreaded the day he’d stop showing up all together. As she gradually regained her strength, she tried to do what she could for her business, and fortified herself for his rejection of her that was sure to come.
Sitting at her dining room table, laptop in front of her, she reviewed her bank balances. She didn’t know how she was going to make ends meet. Her sole source of income was her landscaping business. She had a terrific group of employees, and she trusted them to do as much as they could. Still, they were a small team and Jax’s extended absence had created workload challenges. Robin, the one who’d been with Jax the longest, had taken charge to the degree that she could. Jax was immensely grateful; however, neither Robin nor any of the others knew landscape design or the business end of it. And whenever Jax spoke with one of them, she had a peculiar feeling that they weren’t telling her everything.
Without her supervision and active participation, she worried about keeping up with her existing contracts, despite her team’s assurances. She’d declined to bid on two potential new jobs that would’ve been lucrative and would have made a big difference to the business. She couldn’t commit to any additional jobs until she knew she could start working again.
A knock on her door interrupted her musing. “Come in,” she called.
Her spirits soared as Ryan strode in, and it wasn’t because of the bright bunch of flowers he carried. She’d stopped trying to talk him out of constantly bringing her gifts as he had in the hospital. She’d also become accustomed to his quick perusal whenever he arrived.
“I’m fine. Honestly,” she said with a smile before he could ask.
“Good. I’ve got something for you.”
“They’re beautiful. Thank you,” she said.
Ryan handed her the colorful bunch of roses, lilies and carnations. “Oh, yeah. Here.”
She inhaled their sweet scent.
“I’ll get a vase for them, then I’ll show you what I was talking about.”
He came back from the kitchen with a vase full of water, took the flowers from her, plunked them in the vase, and set them in the center of the table. He positioned a chair next to hers and took out his iPhone. Scrolling through some settings, he handed it to her. The picture on the screen was of a lovely perennial garden with a cute little gnome holding court in the midst of a ring of hostas.
Jax turned questioning eyes to Ryan. Grinning, he slid his arm behind her to rest on the back of her chair. He scrolled to the next photo, drawing Jax’s attention back to the screen. Then he scrolled to the one after that. Understanding dawned and she started to flip through the pictures herself. When she got to an unrelated picture of a fire scene, s
he stopped and looked up at him.
“These are my projects,” she said in an unsteady voice.
“Yeah, they are. What do you think?”
“They look great. Better than I’d hoped.” She studied him. “Why do you have these?”
“Let’s say I have a greener thumb than my mother gave me credit for.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
He chuckled. “When you called Robin a week and a half ago while I was here, I jotted down her number from your redial list.”
She frowned as she tried to comprehend what he was saying.
“I called her,” he went on, “and told her I wanted to help. She gave me the addresses where your crew’s been working. For the past ten days or so, I’ve been helping out as much as I could. Once or twice, I brought along some of the guys from the fire station. Based on what I’d overheard, I knew you were concerned about meeting your commitments, so I didn’t want you to worry about that or lose any clients. You haven’t missed a deadline.”
“Why didn’t you tell?” She was stupefied.
He gave her a lopsided smile. “If I’d said anything to you about wanting to do it, you would’ve said no, correct?”
“I… I suppose.” Jax was a little queasy. No one had ever done anything so sweet and considerate for her before. Well, except for Ryan’s mother and sister, and the meals they’d prepared, but this was so much more. “That’s why you haven’t been here as often,” she murmured. “You’ve been out working at my project sites when you weren’t here or on shift.”
He reached out to brush a strand of hair off her cheek. “Yes.”
“Can I see the pictures again?” she asked hesitantly.
“Sure.”
He handed her the phone, and she looked at them slowly, zooming in on a detail or two on some of them.
“I couldn’t have done better myself,” she said when she was finished, and handed the phone back to him. “I’m sorry, I can’t afford to pay—”
He cut her off. “Don’t insult me, Jax.” He kept his tone light, but she could see the spark of indignation in his eyes.