Bangler blinked, turning his focus inward and searching his body. “Pretty good, actually,” he admitted. “A little stiff in the shoulder, I think, but otherwise, not even any soreness."
"Good.” The smile grew into a grin. To his surprise, Bangler didn't find it repulsive, like he'd thought he would. She's a person, not a thing, he decided, and that makes all the difference in the world. Er, worlds, I guess.
"Did you help it along?” Bangler asked then.
"Yes,” she said. “I sat here and learned about your world,” Piki waved the palm computer, “and helped you feel better.” She patted his belly. “I... you have done much for me already, Bang-bang,” she said softly, and Bangler suddenly sensed doubt from her. “I wishes to ask a favor of you, but I understand if you wishes to say no."
Bangler was still a little groggy from the pain medications, so he found the conversation moving a little fast for his drugged mind. “Um, can I ask something first?"
Piki paused. “Yes.” The orange eyes appeared inscrutable to Bangler.
"How MUCH ‘feeling better’ did you do on me?"
Well, I get the confusion, easy enough, Bangler decided, looking into Piki's bewildered orange eyes.
"I do... not understand,” she finally ventured.
"Did you just heal me, or did you do the ‘fixing’ like the bad men wanted you to do to them?” Bangler elaborated.
"Ah. Mostly heal,” Piki admitted. “I did not want to go too fast and hurt you. I did make the heals stronger, though. But I did not wants to go farther until I know you wants it.” She raised something that looked like it was going to become an eyebrow. “Do you wishes me to fix you better?"
"No—I mean, that's not—I don't, well, I do, but...” Bangler stammered. “Damn, I—” He broke off as Piki flinched, then cringed. “What's wrong?"
"Bad man use that word,” she whispered, looking up at him reproachfully and reverting to incomplete grammar. “I not think Bang-bang say."
Bangler blinked. “What? You mean ‘damn?’”
Piki closed her eyes, turning away.
Bangler drew a deep breath. “I'm sorry, Piki. I didn't mean to upset you. But it isn't just bad people that use words like that. They're exclamations. Yeah, I guess they're crude and kinda rude, and maybe I should watch my language around... around ladies.” He glanced at her to see her listening carefully.
"Shall we... make a deal, I think is the phrase?” she offered hesitantly, formal—and more complete—British grammar back in full.
"What?"
"I will try to... um,” she searched for the words in her memory, “will try not to react, if you will try not to say them so much. Especially... Sira said it was sometimes called... ‘the F-bomb?'” She looked at him queryingly.
Ooo. Ouch. I can see THAT, Bangler thought, internalizing the wince as he realized what must have happened during Piki's rape. Well, it isn't like I'll have to watch my language that long. Get her back to the Enclave and turn her over to the right people, and I'm done.
"Okay, deal,” he agreed. “But be patient. I may slip up sometimes. And if something is really—I mean REALLY—serious, I may still use one anyway."
Piki nodded. “I am patient. And I understand. Now for my favor?"
"Sure,” Bangler agreed.
"I have been reading papers wrote by Sira and a Dr. Trung,” Piki began, unaware of the incongruity of the usage error embedded in her very proper English accent; it put Bangler in mind of Eliza Doolittle, and he had to try not to laugh. “It seems Cresperians need a... a mentor?... during their conversion to human. And this mentor is better to be of opposite gender.” Orange eyes looked up at Bangler, where he sat, shirtless, in bed. “Bang-bang, would you be my mentor?"
Bangler blinked. “Uh boy,” he said.
Bangler was released from sickbay that day. He reported to Tomlinson regarding Piki's request, which he had diverted by saying that, as a soldier, he had to ask permission first. Piki hadn't quite understood, but grasped the concept when he compared it to the loose chain of command that had existed on her starship.
Tomlinson raised an eyebrow. “Lucky man,” he said. “But you look doubtful."
"I am. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this, sir."
"You're also not sure if it's what you want."
"Uh, permission to speak frankly, sir?"
"Frank and off the record, Bang. I'm John right now, by the way."
"Thank you, John,” Bangler said in some relief. “I know you have a... a relationship with Ms. Whitman, so please don't take anything I'm about to say personally. It has nothing to do with Ms. Whitman, or Piki, or Crispies at all, really. It's just that... well, I've noticed that the mentors of Crispies usually tend to wind up as the mates of the Crispies, if they're of opposite gender. I...” He broke off, suddenly curious. “Are there such things as gay Crispies?"
Tomlinson blinked. “I don't know how to answer that,” he confessed. “So far no human Crispies have chosen that path, but their innate concept of gender is different from ours. You know they have three natural genders? I think they can switch between, too..."
Bangler swallowed. Hard. “No sir, I didn't. I must've missed that in the briefings."
"John, not sir,” Tomlinson reminded with a smile. “Okay, didn't mean to divert the conversation. Go ahead, Bang."
"Well, John, I... I'm just not sure I'm ready to settle down yet, and it seems like mentoring a Crispy transformation is the same as."
"I didn't mentor Sira, Bang."
"You didn't?"
"No. Dr. Mai Le Trung did. The geneticist that Sira replaced when Trung left on the second starship."
"Dr. Trung—Vietnamese name,” Bangler mulled.
"She,” Tomlinson filled him in, with some tongue in cheek humor, when he saw what Bangler was trying to puzzle out.
"Ah. Same gender."
"True,” Tomlinson admitted, “but Sira went through several boyfriends before we found each other."
Bangler looked up sharply.
Tomlinson nodded. “She had a hard time finding just the right one—like any other woman. There is another Crispy back at the Enclave, too, a male, who was found in the Rocky Mountains. He was mentored by a married couple, and he didn't fixate on either of his mentors for a mate. As a matter of fact, he's still single and ‘on the market,’ as it were."
Bangler nodded thoughtfully.
"Off the record, you know the powers that be are going to want you to do this, Bang,” John pointed out. “Especially if Piki chose YOU. It means she trusts you. From a Crispy, that's the highest of compliments."
"I know,” Bangler admitted with a sigh. “I just needed to get some information and figure out what..."
Tomlinson smiled. “Understood, Bang. I'll keep quiet about it until you decide what you want to do. That way you won't be forced into anything until you've got your ducks in a row, either way."
"Thanks, John."
"Meanwhile I'll assign Piki to the women's—what the heck do they call the barracks on a sub, anyway?” Tomlinson wondered.
"Beats me,” Bangler grinned.
"Um. Maybe we better watch more than our curse words around Piki..."
Bang winced as he mentally played back the conversation. “Oo. Good point."
During the return to the States, the Sea Wolf ran silent and deep. Tomlinson and McAllister organized training classes in an unused conference room off the bridge for the three new Crispies, classes whose teachers included Sira, her lover Tomlinson, Bangler, Nunez, and Dr. Forcula. After awhile, the two unchanged Crispies decided that humans weren't so bad after all, and under Sira's and Tomlinson's guidance, began the slow change to male and female, respectively. They took the names Peter Murphy and Karen Townshend. Piki looked disturbed.
"Do I need to change my name, too?” she wondered, discussing the matter with Sira and John.
"No, dear, I wouldn't think so,” John decided. “Piki is a cute name, and could easily be assumed of Oriental or Midea
stern extraction. ‘Sira’ isn't her Cresperian name, but as it turns out, it sounds like it, it's just easier for us to pronounce. So she took that, then merely added a human surname. It depends on how... um, unpronounceable to humans your original name is."
"Yes,” Sira agreed. “'Nndtilith’ and ‘Ssrpa’ would be impossible for the average human to pronounce, so they're changing them. My friend Jeri, who is presumably aboard the Galactic now, had a name much like mine, and ‘Jeri’ was a good Earth approximation, so she, too, more or less kept her own name."
"Oh. So I only need a last name,” she said, glancing wistfully toward Bangler conversing animatedly with Nunez.
Sira bit her lip, agonizing for her fellow Cresperian. “Yes, Piki."
"Do you have any ideas?” Piki wondered, shoulders drooping slightly.
"I took mine from a famous poet,” Sira said. “You've done a lot of reading lately. Find an author, or perhaps an artist, that you like, and adopt the name."
"Probably not TOO famous and unusual, though, or it might raise questions,” Tomlinson warned. “The last thing we need is for you to be found out and caught up into another situation like we just got you out of."
Piki shivered in dread, then considered the matter awhile. “Burroughs,” she decided. “I will be Piki Burroughs."
"For a certain writer of Mars adventures?” Sira grinned.
Piki grinned back. “Yes. I thought about Seuss, because I heard someone describe our true forms as looking like ‘the Grinch on crack,’ but thought that might be too easily recognizable. So Mars will do.” She and Sira giggled.
"...So has she asked you to mentor her yet?” Nunez wondered, keeping her voice low.
"Yeah, she has,” Bangler sighed.
"What are you going to do?"
"Hell if I know,” Bangler shrugged. “But I know what the brass are gonna want once they get wind of it."
"You think they'll order you to?"
"I dunno. Tomlinson seems to think it's a possibility, but I'm hoping not. The... connotations and aftermath... seem to always be too personal, I'm thinking."
"So you think they'll push, but stop just shy of ordering it?” Nunez verified.
"That's what I'm thinking, yeah,” Bangler nodded. “I hope it's not wishful thinking. I mean, I just don't know what to do. They seem nice enough, but if they're capable of erasing short term memory, and modifying your body, are they capable of making the person they've selected as a mate fall for them, whether the person intended to or not?"
Nunez frowned. “I didn't get the impression they had THAT much mental control, Bang,” she told him. “All the medical and biological data I've seen indicate it's not really telepathy they do. Or even empathy. At least not with humans. Maybe with each other..."
"What's ‘empathy?’”
"Reading and sharing emotions,” Nunez explained. “They can kind of sense emotions, yeah, but they can't manipulate ‘em."
"Huh,” Bangler grunted. “You'd think if they could do one, they could do the other."
"Not necessarily,” Nunez disputed. “Just because you got a radio receiver doesn't mean you got a whole broadcasting station. Not to mention, everything has to be on the same wavelength."
"Well... good point. But still, you have to admit, there's a strong correlation between mentoring and ‘happily ever after-ing.’”
"And you're not sure you're ready for that."
"Well, yes and no,” Bangler admitted uncomfortably. “I'm not against commitment. I'd just be happier if I felt it was more my decision, dammit. More a JOINT decision, I guess I should say.” He stared glumly down at the toes of his boots.
Nunez stole the opportunity to glance over at the half morphed Crispy, talking to Sira and John. She was surprised to see Piki look their way, and even more surprised to be able to recognize wistfulness in the orange slitted eyes. She knows he doesn't want to, Peggy realized, and it hurts her. Already it hurts her. But... that expression... her face is already human shaped, it's just still green and fuzzy, so I guess that's why I can read it. And if ever I saw a woman trying to let a man go, I'm seeing it now.
"Listen, Peggy,” Bangler said, claiming Nunez’ attention again, “speaking of decisions, I was wondering if... if you might like to go to the theater for a movie when we get back to the Enclave."
"You mean a date?” Nunez blinked, surprised.
"Well,” Bangler flushed slightly, “as near a date as you can get in that big cave, anyway. We'll have to eat dinner in the regular mess, I guess, but the movie's on me. If you want to, that is,” he added hastily.
Uh boy, Peg, gal, here is one kettle of fish, she decided. Grab your chance when you don't know yet if there's anything between the two of you, or give him up and let the lady... woman... uhm, female, who loves him have a shot at him.
"Well, maybe we better wait until we get back and see what orders we have,” she hedged. “If that's cool, and our schedules synch up anytime soon, I'm game."
"Great,” Bangler grinned.
"Now you need to determine a final form, dear,” Sira advised. “You already have the rough shape, but you need to complete the physical transformation, and we will help you with the mental and emotional. It's far closer to what my specialty was aboard ship anyway, not to mention I've had some experience with it."
"What... do you think...” Piki shot a quick glance at Bangler, who had wandered away from Nunez to get a glass of water, and struck up a conversation with McAllister, “...might be liked?"
Tomlinson glanced at his mate, wide-eyed, and Sira had a mental impression he'd held up his hands in a desperate, “don't ask me” gesture. She smiled to herself.
"My observations indicate, current trends notwithstanding, that pale blonde hair and bright blue eyes, with your current figure, might be very... liked,” Sira said with a straight face. “Why don't you use your palm computer to pull up some photographs, and... Oh! I know! Ask Sergeant Bangler to help you pick attractive features? You know each other, and as he's... unattached, he brings no special bias to the matter, as for instance, John here might do, because of his relationship with me."
"Ooo, I like,” Piki decided happily. She got up to fetch her computer.
Tomlinson raised an eyebrow, watching the other Crispy walk away. “Smooth, hon."
Sira shrugged, a mischievous grin on her pixyish face. “I thought so."
"You know it could end up hurting one or both of them. She's got a lot of mental issues after that rape, and she does NOT understand the ramifications of what she's starting to feel for him."
Sira sighed. “What would you have me do, John? The more she develops mentally and emotionally under our tutelage, the more attached to him she grows. He SAVED her, and she knows it. He took two bullets intended for her. She loves him for that, if for no other reason. If he refuses her, it is already too late to prevent it hurting her. He is also more open to her than anyone else on this vessel—you saw how he grinned when she smiled, while everyone else looked away. I picked up his reaction at that point; he thought she was cute, John. As in ‘attractive cute,’ and that, in her half Cresperian form. Besides which, if she cannot get past the trauma of the rape with him, she will not get past it at all. At least this way there is a chance they may both find what they want."
"Speaking of what we both want,” John said, drawing Sira out of the small conference room, “let's find someplace to talk."
There was no one in the women's bunk area, and they ducked inside it. “If I'm caught in here, I'll never hear the end of it, so I'll make it quick,” Tomlinson said. He suddenly dropped to one knee, holding out a glittering object. “Sira Whitman, will you marry me?"
Sira's eyes went wide, and she fairly lit up from within. “Yes, John Tomlinson, I will! I will!” she exclaimed joyfully.
"Good,” Tomlinson said in some relief, standing and slipping the diamond solitaire on her left hand before kissing her thoroughly.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapte
r 7
Tomlinson thanked his friend aboard the sub crew who'd snuck the engagement ring aboard, he and Sira made their momentous little announcement, and the tutoring classes continued. But Sira sent Piki off with Bangler to the captain's tiny ready room so they could concentrate.
"So... you want me to help you figure out how to... to look?” Bangler asked, confused. “Why?"
"Because I do not know what is considered attractive to humans,” Piki explained, her English improving every hour. “And I know I am... ugly... to them, right now. I want to be like Sira and be pretty to humans. I do not wish to frighten them, or to be... be caught... again...” Her voice trailed off.
"You're not ugly,” Bangler found himself protesting, “just... different. Why don't you ask Sira? I'm not... I'm not good at stuff like this."
"Sira says she only knows what she finds attractive in a male, now she is female. And John is biased, he says, because he loves Sira. Dr. Forcula is married; Nunez is female. So Sira suggested you, since you are,” Piki shrugged, “I think the word is... unpartial?"
"Impartial,” Bangler corrected automatically. “Listen, John didn't have anything to do with this, did he?"
"No,” Piki cocked her head in puzzlement. “It was all Sira's idea. John did not know what to suggest."
Bangler let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. “Okay, I guess so. What do you want to work on first?"
"I think face shape,” Piki decided. “Here are some face shapes I found in my computer.” She hit a button, then toggled through several images on the small screen, holding it so Bangler could see it.
"Mm... lessee...” Bangler muttered to himself as he studied the facial structures. “Oh. Look here. This lady has really pretty bone structure.” He pointed to a particular photograph.
Piki studied the image. “Wide, high cheekbones, a high forehead, and firm jaw,” she noted. “She looks strong, this woman. I am not certain I am so strong, Bang-bang."
Bangler stared at her. “You not only survived a rape and beating, but you rendered your attacker incapable of attacking again, then healed yourself? Piki, that's nothing to put down."
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