“Oh, I see.” She nodded. “That was what Brianna was talking about. I think that you’re going to have to go ahead and have that conversation with your girls. Rina already knows, and I’m quite sure that she has probably already texted Abby about it. I don’t want to lay judgment on you, so please don’t misunderstand. But I’m curious as to why you never told them the truth earlier. They were bound to find out sooner or later.”
I sighed. “I didn’t want to lose them. I don’t know, I guess I’ve been living in a bubble of my own making. I’ve been wanting to believe that somehow the topic would just never come up and they would never have to know the truth.”
She nodded her head and sat back in her chair. “You’re not alone in dealing with unpleasant things. People, in general, want to put bad things off and pretend that the bad thing isn’t going to come back around on them. Don’t feel bad about that. But trust me, it’s always better to get on top of things. When you don’t, they come out in other ways, and everything is that much worse.”
I knew that. She didn’t have to tell me that. It didn’t change the fact, however, that, as she said, it was human nature to avoid bad things. She was also correct, unfortunately, that when you avoid bad things, they just get much worse.
I stood up. “Thank you Ms. Hayden,” I said. “I’ll just have to have a talk with my girls.”
I went into the waiting room, where Rina was sitting. She looked up at me and glared and then looked away.
I held out my hand. “Let’s go,” I said. “I know that we need to talk. We’ll talk when we get home.”
She shook her head. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you. I’ve already called Abby, and she agrees. I’m calling our social worker next. Danny O’Hare. I’m going to tell him that me and Abby can’t stay with you one day longer. We’ll go back to the girls’ home, but we’re okay with that. We won’t stay with a murderer.”
“Rina, please, let’s just go home and talk about this. We’ll get some pizza, your favorite kind, and we’ll talk about it.”
“Now you want to talk to us about it. Now? What about the first time you met us at the girls’ home? Before we ever came to stay with you?” She shook her head. “All this time, I thought that you brought me and Abby to your house because you loved us. Turns out that’s not true at all. You brought us in because our mom would be alive if it weren’t for you.”
Her words stabbed me in the heart and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. She was right, absolutely right, and there was nothing that I could say in my defense. Any words I had would sound hollow in my ears, so they were really going to ring hollow in Rina’s ears.
“Rina,” I said. “I know that you’re angry, but I’m your guardian. You’re my charge. Abby is too. You can’t just not come home with me. You have to come with me.”
“No I don’t. I’m calling Danny to ask him to take me and Abby away and put us into the girls’ home until they can find somebody else. I can’t stay with you. I can’t stay with somebody who would do something like you did. I mean, how can you defend a man like that, Harper?”
I sighed and squatted down so that I was eye to eye with her on her chair. “Rina, I didn’t know that he would do something like that. And it’s my job.”
“Your job? Your job is getting scumbags off so that they can get right back out there and do it again. That’s your job, Aunt Harper, and I was wrong when I told you that I want to know what you do. I don’t anymore. I would never want to do something like that.” Her arms were crossed and her little legs were still swinging back and forth.
I stood up. “Rina, you’re not going to get in touch with Danny tonight. For now, at least, you’re in my custody. I have to take you home.”
“No. I’m not going home with you and you can’t make me.” She balled up her fists and her face got red. “You can’t make us come home with you. Abby’s with me.” She motioned to the door, and there was Abby coming through it.
Abby didn’t say anything, but came up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Aunt Harper, say it’s not true. Say you didn’t represent that awful man who killed our mom. Please, Aunt Harper. Tell me it’s not true.”
“It is true, Abby,” Rina said, “and I know it’s true because I just asked her about it and she’s not denying it. She’s not denying it, Abby, so we know that it’s true.”
“Is that why you wanted us?” Abby asked. “Because you felt guilty? You felt bad? You knew that our mother wouldn’t have been murdered if it weren’t for you? Is that why?”
“No, of course not. I became your guardian because…” I was going to lie to the girls, in a way. Abby and Rina were right – if it weren't for that John Robinson thing, I wouldn’t have the girls in my home. I never had the desire to become a foster parent, much less an adoptive parent, and I did originally take the girls in out of a sense of obligation. However, although it started out that I wanted the girls because I felt obligated, I couldn’t deny that I needed to keep them for a much different reason.
I needed to keep them because I loved them. I bonded with them. They had become a part of me. If I lost them, it would be like I lost a limb. So, I was just going to have to go ahead and lie to them.
“Why?” Rina demanded. “Go on, Harper, why did you become our guardian? Why?”
“I was interested in fostering children and I met the two of you and I knew that you were the ones who were meant for me.”
“Bullshit!” Rina shouted. “Stop lying, Aunt Harper, please. Just stop lying to us. We’re not dumb. That doesn’t make any sense at all – that you randomly wanted to foster a child and you somehow, someway, picked out the two girls who were orphaned because of what you did. Gee, what a coincidence.” She crossed her arms and tapped her feet and glared at me. “We may be only 11, going to be 12 soon, but we’re not stupid, Aunt Harper. We know the truth. You only came for us because you felt responsible for the fact that we no longer have a mother. Admit it. Just admit it.”
“That’s not true,” I said weakly, but I knew that I was defeated. “Okay, that was true at first. That was the original motivation for taking the two of you in. But, I swear, I’m only keeping you in my home because I love you both very much. I’m only adopting you because I love you both. I hope that you believe me about that.”
“We don’t,” Rina said, standing up and stomping her feet. “We don’t believe you about that. How can we believe anything you say anymore, Aunt Harper, when you lied to us all along?”
“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.” I felt shamed and embarrassed and frightened that the girls were really going to leave. Not that they had that choice. Obviously, they couldn’t just up and leave. There would have to be hearings, and there was no way that the social worker was going to take them from me because of this. I knew that there was no way that the girls were going to be allowed to leave. Rina obviously thought that she was going to, but I knew better.
“You didn’t tell us the whole truth? That’s the same as lying. That’s the same thing. Our teachers always tell us that’s the same thing. You must think that we’re stupid, Aunt Harper.”
“No, I never think that you’re stupid.”
The headmaster, Ms. Hayden, came out of her office. “I’m going to have to leave soon,” she said. “Is there anything that I can help you with, Ms. Ross?”
“No,” I said. “We’re just leaving.”
Rina reluctantly got to her feet and I inwardly sighed with relief. I tried to grab her hand, but she refused to give her hand to me. I put my arm around her shoulders, but she literally shrugged my arm off.
Abby grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. “Aunt Harper, I forgive you. I know that you were only doing your job. Rina will get over it, too.”
How could Abby forgive me so quickly? If I were in the same position as the girls, I would have acted just like Rina. What I did was unforgivable, full stop. I was grateful that Abby was so fine with it, but I didn’t feel as if I deserved
her forgiveness.
“Stop it, Abby,” Rina says. “You can’t just forgive her just like that. She’s the reason why we lost our mother. She is.”
“Rina, if Aunt Harper didn’t take on John Robinson, somebody else would have. She was just doing her job.”
Rina walked rapidly on ahead, dramatically flinging open the door of the office suite and then running down the hallway and, just as dramatically, flinging open the door of the school. I quickened my pace, afraid that I was going to lose track of her. Abby was still holding onto my hand, so the two of us practically ran out the door of the school.
I felt a sense of relief when I saw my car and saw Rina standing beside it, her backpack on the ground.
I got to my car and opened up the door, and the two girls got in – Abby got in readily, but Rina got in only reluctantly. I sat in the driver’s seat and Abby was next to me in the passenger seat – ordinarily, both girls sat in the back, but Abby chose to sit next to me. Rina continued to stand outside the car, looking around, and I kept checking on her, making sure that she didn’t bolt.
She finally, finally, opened up the back door and slid into the car. She buckled her seat and I put the car into drive and drove out of the parking lot.
“So, Aunt Harper,” Abby was saying. “You were talking about maybe getting me a flute this weekend. Are we still going to go shopping? There’s a music store that some of the kids are telling me about. It’s kinda on the Plaza, nearby the Plaza. I’m really excited to start learning how to play a flute.”
I chuckled, happy that at least one of my girls didn’t hate me. “Of course. I said that I would take you to get a flute this weekend, and I’m as good as my word. I hope that you’re going to be better at playing the flute than I was. I’m sure you will be. You seem like you’re musically inclined.”
“She’s not,” Rina said. “She’s a terrible singer and she has awful taste in music, too.”
“Rina,” I said. “That’s not nice to say. She hasn’t even gotten a new instrument and you’re already downing her.”
“It’s okay, Aunt Harper,” Abby said. “I’m just going to have to show her that I’m serious about this. I don’t know how to play an instrument yet, but I’ve always wanted to learn.”
“Ha. Don’t believe her, Aunt Harper, about that. She only wants to join the band because she likes a boy in there. His name is James Arness, and he plays the trumpet. Trumpet players are gross. They take that tube out and their spit gets all over the floor. James is gross.”
I suppressed a smile. “Rina, if Abby wants to join band because she wants to get to know a boy, then that’s her prerogative. As long as she enjoys being in the band, it’s not my business why she wants to learn how to play the flute.”
“Thank you, Aunt Harper,” Abby said. “And I don’t want to join the band for James.” She looked out the window. “I mean, I like him. He doesn’t know that I’m alive, but I like him.”
“That’s right, Aunt Harper,” Rina said. “She likes that boy and she’s going to join the band for no other reason than the fact that she wants to see him every day. That’s a bad reason for joining, Aunt Harper. She’s going to quit and you’re going to buy her a flute for nothing.”
“Now, Abby, how do you know that he doesn’t know that you’re alive?”
She faced me and I saw that there were tears in her eyes. “I just do. He never looks at me and he never talks to me. He’s like dating this older girl who’s in the seventh grade, but I hear that they don’t like each other any more.” She shrugged. “So I guess that there’s hope.”
“There’s no hope,” Rina said. “No hope at all.”
“Rina,” I said in a stern voice. “That’s enough.”
I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw that Rina was sitting in the back, crossing her arms and looking out the window with a pissed-off look on her face.
We arrived at our house and Rina ran out of the car, up the stairs to the front door, and went in the door and slammed it behind her. Abby and I walked into the house, Abby holding my hand and leaning her head on my shoulder. I let go of her hand and put my arm around her shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Abby, for not telling you earlier about John Robinson.”
“That’s okay, Aunt Harper,” she said. “But tell me that’s not the only reason why we are with you. Tell me that’s not the only reason why you wanted us.” She hung her head and I saw tears were threatening to flow.
“Of course not, Buttercup,” I said. “You girls are here because I love you both. Rina will realize that too, again.”
“I know,” she said. “Rina will get over it.”
I sighed.
I certainly hoped that she did. I couldn’t take much more stress.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Christina Sanders was scheduled for a deposition this afternoon, and I had to prepare for it. There was something that I was going to have to uncover from her and I had to get her under oath. I knew that she didn’t want to come and answer questions from me, but there wasn’t a thing that she could do about it. She couldn’t quash the subpoena that I issued for her deposition, because she was going to be a witness.
She arrived in my office right at 3. Her blonde hair was newly cut into a sharp bob, and she was wearing a fur-lined trench coat over a green dress with a pair of Gucci gold pumps on her feet. She looked effortlessly chic and incredibly thin. I couldn’t believe that Michael actually called her fat and “Miss Piggy,” and got away with it. It told me everything that I needed to know about her self-esteem that she would allow her husband to say such awful things to her, right in front of everyone.
Not to mention the fact that she was as far from fat and being “Miss Piggy” as anybody could possibly be. The woman probably weighed 120 lbs, even though she was a good 5’7”.
“Okay,” she said, coming in the door. “Let’s just get this over with.” She looked around. “Where is my husband? Isn’t he supposed to be here?”
“No,” I said. “It’s only me and your attorney. Would you like a cup of coffee or a bottle of water?”
“I’ll take a whiskey if you got it. Straight up.” She didn’t smile, so I didn’t know if she was serious or not.
“I don’t have whiskey here,” I said.
“Why? Don’t you drink? Michael said that you were quite the drinker in college. I figured you would have a fully-stocked bar around here somewhere.”
I cleared my throat. “No,” I said. “I don’t drink. Not anymore.”
She snorted and took off her coat. “Oh, God, how do you get through the day if you don’t drink?”
I suddenly realized two things - that wailing she did for the judge when we went into court for the exhumation was all an act. I also had the feeling that Christina wasn’t the duped wife I thought that she was.
I also suddenly felt compassion for Christina. She was talking just like I used to. Like her, I used to never be able to imagine a day when I didn’t take a drink. And, even now, I craved liquor like I craved sunlight. I could never touch it again for just that reason. “It’s difficult, believe me.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I do believe you.” She looked at her watch. “Where is that goddamn Ryan? He’s always late.” John Ryan was Christina Sanders’ attorney. “Yeah, go ahead and give me some boring water or iced tea or whatever you got.”
I went to my mini-fridge and got her a water bottle and I handed it to her.
She took it without a word of thanks and looked at her watch again. “How long is this going to take?”
“About two hours.”
She rolled her eyes. “Ms. Ross, I have five kids. Five. Couldn’t you have scheduled this damned thing a bit earlier?” She got out her phone. “Yeah, Hayley. You’re going to have to pick up all the kids today. Sorry about that.” She nodded her head. “I’ll see you when I get home.” She looked at me. “My nanny. I’m sure you know about that. You have two of your own, don’t you?” She narrowed her eyes. “I hear you’re watching tw
o girls who were orphaned by your scumbag client. That true?”
“That’s really none of your business.”
She snorted again. “Oh, but it is. It is. You see, I don’t want the same thing to happen here. I don’t want my husband to walk out of that courtroom a free man. I hope that I’ve made myself perfectly clear.”
I sat down, wondering what her game was. “I don’t understand?”
“Oh, I think you do. Perfectly.” She raised an eyebrow. “Do you ever question why it was that Michael would come to you, of all people in the world? Out of all the attorneys in the world, he chooses you of all people?”
Did she know my history with Michael? I just stared at her, wondering how much she knew. Suddenly, Christina Sanders was much more interesting to me then I ever thought she would be. “No, why? Why did he choose me?”
She crossed her arms. “Take a wild guess. I’ll put it this way. My husband is broke. Broke. I’ve been very careful to keep our finances separate. I know the drill, unlike my mother, who was stupid enough to take her inheritance and put it into joint assets. I haven’t done that. I came into this marriage with a lot of money and I’m leaving it with just as much. So I hold the purse strings. I paid your fee, Ms. Ross. He doesn’t have two nickels to rub together. I told him that he had to hire you or go with a Public Defender.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why hire me? Why did you want me?”
She smiled. “I know what happened with you and Michael and Jim in college. My husband has been very open about just what a scum he was. He told me all about it after my father was found dead. He was very concerned that this stuff was going to get out, anyhow, with the media, so he wanted me to know. The second he told me about what he did to you, I knew that you were the one I wanted to represent him.”
My wheels were turning. I wasn’t quite sure how to take Christina. She obviously wasn’t the fool that I thought that she was. She wasn’t the wet blanket, the doormat, that Anita portrayed her as. She was a cunning woman. That wasn’t necessarily a good thing. It might be that she killed her father, framed Michael, and hired me, knowing that I was going to want to sink her husband.
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