by Lisa Jade
Someone cocks their gun in my direction.
“Who are you? Four is locked down until our demands are fully met.”
I stare.
“W-wait, what?”
“Identify yourself.”
Suddenly, a man near the front of the group hesitates. He’s tall and thick-set, with dark hair covering much of his face – but then he takes a step closer, and I finally recognise him through the beard.
“Gray?”
He gapes.
“It can’t be… Quinn?!”
Fresh mutters break out around us, and to my surprise, he lowers his weapon. I look him up and down, utterly confused. What’s going on? I’ve only been gone two months, but everything seems different. I don’t blame them for not recognising me immediately, though; nobody would have expected me to make it home at all.
Gray waves at the others.
“Someone get hold of the boss. They need to see this.”
“No need. I’m already here.”
The voice that rings out is clear and confident – and the armed men instantly straighten their backs. They part as the figure steps closer, creating a path directly to me. I don’t even need to look; I recognise the voice.
“Alice.”
For a long moment, I just take her in. She has a number of small loss knots braided carefully into one side of her head, and the remainder of her thick hair has been cut back. She wears gear that resembles the armour Mom wore back on the Neptune. A glossy firearm swings from her hand.
More than that, though, is how she moves. Like she’s always been in charge, and she knows it only too well. I almost feel the need to incline my head.
But then she raises her eyes to mine and stops dead in her tracks. Her carefully-neutral expression floods with some unknown emotion. Is she unhappy to see me?
Finally, she clears her throat.
“Y-you made it back.”
I don’t respond. I don’t know quite what to say.
“I know you probably have a lot to say to me, don’t you? About the day you left.”
She falters a little, and I decide not to reply. Let her come to her own conclusions.
“I’m aware of what I did to you that day,” she croaks, “I lied to you and manipulated you to empower my own cause. I all but tricked you into sneaking aboard that ship, even though I knew you’d likely die on board.”
She takes in a shaky breath.
“I threw your safety – and probably your life - away for political gain. That’s something I’ve been dealing with. But I understand if you hate me now. So come on.”
An encouraging nod.
“Scream at me. Be mad. Tell me that you hate me, and I’ll tell you why I had to do it. Things have been so hard around here, Quinn. We’ve finally gained some ground with the Council. It’s been tough, but we’re getting there. Freedom is closer than ever, and what I did that day was the spark for everything that’s happened since.”
When I don’t speak, she lets out a growl.
“Come on already! Be furious. You have every right to be. I’ve been a terrible sister and an awful friend. I regretted what I’d done the moment you set foot on that ship. I have no excuses. So have a go. Don’t… don’t just stand there. Please.”
Her voice cracks a little, like she’s on the verge of tears.
I search my feelings, wondering if there’s any anger in there for Alice. She’s right. She did manipulate me. She lied to get me to act how she wanted. She used my personal crisis as a springboard for her rebellion.
I should hate her guts. I have every right to.
But for some reason, there’s no hatred there.
I cross the space between us and pull her into an embrace.
“W-what are you doing?” she gasps, “why don’t you hate me? I did something awful.”
My grip simply tightens. If Alice hadn’t given me the confidence to go, I’d never have met Luci or Isaac. I’d never have been reunited with Mom, or seen the stars up close, or uncovered the truth about One. I’d never have fallen in love. I lean closer.
“Thank you.”
There’s so much more I want to say to her. I want to know everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone, and I need to tell her all that I’ve learned. But the words don’t want to come out right now.
Finally, she returns my embrace.
“I’m sorry.”
Sorry. A word always said in times of grief. Is that where I am now? Is that the next great adventure – accepting that I might never see them again?
I think of Mom’s determined eyes. Luci’s boundless confidence. Finn, Terri, Sabina – limitless kindness. And Isaac. How we’d kissed and danced and laughed.
“Quinn?”
Alice reaches out for me as I stumble to my knees and bury my face in her shoulder. The sobs wrack my body and she gently strokes a hand through my hair, like she always did when we were kids.
For months I’ve dreamed of returning home. And now I’m here, I don’t even know how to feel about it.
Thirty
Summer has started to break over Four. It’s the kind of warm, hazy day where the air feels a little thicker in my lungs, and the salty sea air stings my nostrils more than normal.
I step off the Elevator and onto Main Street, my shoes clicking on the cobbled floor. I fold my hands neatly together - a habit retained from the Neptune – clutching two hefty university textbooks.
Main Street is gorgeous lately. Ever since Four won its independence, there’s been a surge in financial investments. The influx of cash has done wonders around here; the old, shabby buildings have been repainted to look fresh and new, and the people no longer wear old, dusty clothing. The look of eternal exhaustion I’ve grown used to has gone, too – instead, their faces seem brighter. Several look up as I pass, nodding their heads in acknowledgement.
“Morning.”
I return the greeting. It’s been two years since I returned to Earth, but it still throws me off to see how they treat me. The judgement in their eyes is all but gone, replaced by some small amount of respect.
Perhaps it’s because of the Trial. When I got back, I’d told Alice about the deception on Orithyia. We had quickly discovered that the truth about the Companion Scheme was one hell of a well-kept secret. The reveal had been a helpful tool in negotiating our freedom. After all, how could we willingly stay under the control of people who would routinely kidnap and torture us? The Trial dragged on for months, and as the only witness, I was there for most of it. The final result - the abolishment of the Council, and the inception of a brand new, representative democracy across all Levels of Pyre.
I glance down at my textbooks. By the time the Trial wrapped up, I was receiving constant invites to universities – and though I’d never considered it before, it seemed a good idea. Five months ago, I began studying Pyre Law. Even now, I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do with the knowledge once I have it; but Dad seems to think it’s a fast track to being the representative for Four someday.
Personally, I wouldn’t vote for me. But he suspects that others would.
As I head home, I pause to revel in the sensation of the sea breeze. It kicks up my hair, which has been shorn close to my head – aside from my loss knot, which still hangs past my shoulder. In the time I’ve been back, the little braid has come to encompass more than Alice had ever intended. It reminds me of so many people. Cherise, Mom, Luci, Isaac…
My chest aches at the thought. There hasn’t been any news at all from the Neptune. Initially, I spent every spare moment staring upward, half-expecting to see the vast shadow of the ship looming on the coast of the Mainland. But nothing ever came. No reports ever arrived of it landing on Orithyia, either. It just… vanished. It’s now considered something of a myth. Something that people tell their kids that they once saw. The legendary, missing Neptune.
I push the feeling aside and keep walking.
I arrive home and scan my ID card at the door. With a hint of delig
ht, I notice a recent photo of myself pop up on the screen. Quinn Hart. Twenty-two. Law Student. I smile. It’s not exactly the title I once hoped for, but it’s not bad, either.
Inside, the house is much the same as always. Cluttered and crowded, with too much stuff for the space available. But the dust on the shelves isn’t as thick as it once was, and the curtains have been ripped open, allowing sunlight to stream in through the window.
There are some things that weren’t here before, too. Like a few framed photographs lining the sideboard in the hallway. I pause in front of them, eyes gliding over the photos.
One is me, hair freshly cut, standing in front of the Elevator they built to replace the one I destroyed with the shuttle. I’m clutching a stack of papers and seem both flustered and pleased by the whole situation.
The next picture is Alice in a pretty, blue dress. She stands on Main Street, her hand held in Gray’s, her hair still scraped back into a multitude of tiny braids. A silver ring glitters on her left hand.
The final picture is one I don’t recall being taken. It’s Mom, sitting at the Drop-off. She clutches a small book to her chest and looks up at the sky, her expression wistful.
I don’t mean to do it; but I pick up the photo and glide my fingertips over the glass. Dad knows the truth now, or at least enough of it, and it’s good to know he finally forgives her like she wanted.
Mom’s eyes glisten with hope in the photo, and my chest aches. She really wanted to go. It was supposed to be some magical, life-altering event for her. The realisation of her dreams – and it did nothing but hurt her. My fingers tighten around the frame.
“Quinn?”
I slam it back down just as Dad enters the room. He’s got a pair of goggles perched on his head, and his hands are covered by thick, leather work gloves. He fires me a suspicious look, then drops his gaze to the photo. I glance down. Damn. I put it back upside down.
“Hey, how’s it going?” I say quickly, eager to change the subject.
“What are you doing here? I thought you had class.”
“Only morning classes, today.”
“Alright. Look, a message came for you from One, and I don’t think it was from the University.”
“Really? Was it from Anne-Marie?”
“The pretty redhead from One? I don’t think so.”
I bite my lip. Every once in a while, I’ll receive some scrawled correspondence from Luci and Isaac’s mother. While I’ve never met the woman in person, she sought me out quickly to enquire about her children. Even now she still drops me the occasional note, asking random and sweet questions about how her kids acted aboard the Neptune.
“Do you still have it?” I ask.
Dad shakes his head.
“I gave it to Alice while she and Gray were visiting. She said you were going to visit later anyway, so she’d give it to you then. We know how busy you are lately.”
“Did you read the message?”
“Of course not,” he smirks, “it could be do with the Trial, and I’m not involved with that. Rules are rules. Besides, I’m busy coming up with my next big idea.”
“Show me.”
I follow Dad into his basement workshop. Small pieces of equipment lie scattered on every surface – results of his attempts to rebuild the music boxes that once sat on every street corner. He presents me with his latest attempt, a small, silver-painted thing that lets out a delicate, plinking song.
“That’s beautiful, Dad.”
“You think so? I just wish I could make it louder.”
I hold the box in both hands for a moment, and allow the memories to come flooding back. A childhood spent in Four with Mom and Dad, always with this soft music playing in the background. For a moment I’m filled with joy – but then the memory changes.
Suddenly I can recall spinning in a ballroom, hands clutching mine. The music box gives way to the gentle sound of my mother’s singing, and as I raise my head, I see Isaac smiling above me.
I put the box down and step back from it, pushing the sudden discomfort aside. Damn. I thought about it again.
Dad eyes me warily.
“Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah.”
I rub one hand over my face. Even now, it still happens from time to time – the occasional memory of the Neptune, and the people I lost. But it’s been months since I’ve allowed myself to cry over them. What would be the point? The Neptune is lost.
But Dad’s still looking at me curiously, so I just pull my face into a smile.
“It’s great, Dad. Really. Shame you stopped making cuckoo clocks, though. Those were quite the earner for you.”
“I don’t watch the clock anymore,” he says simply, “I much prefer this.”
I think about the time he must have spent here alone. If I were him, I don’t know if I would have forgiven the daughter who ran away. But here he is, with a new life about him, a familiar look in his eyes.
He’s happy. I hadn’t realised until recently just how badly I wanted that.
I run a hand through my hair
“I… suppose I had best head out.”
“You just got home.”
“I know,” I sigh, “but if this message is so urgent, I should probably find Alice.”
“That makes sense. I believe she and Gray are taking a walk in the park.”
“See? I knew she was lying about her allergies. She’s always at the park lately. You’d think she’d want to spend more time running things, after all she did to win Four back. Not flirting around with her second in command.”
“Love blossoms in the most unlikely of places, you know.”
“If you say so,” I chuckle, “either way, I’ll go hunt her down.”
“Are you coming back for dinner tonight?”
“Considering it’s my turn to cook, I’d say so.”
He smiles. Despite the time that’s passed, I can’t bring myself to move out altogether. I rent a small apartment on One and live here when I’m not attending class, unable to leave him entirely to himself. Without Alice around to look after us, we’ve both had to do a little growing up; but we still need one another.
I wave goodbye at the door and take off running, suddenly happy that I’m not wearing heels. After the Neptune I’d sworn blind I’d never wear those torture devices again, but then the Trial came around, and I caved for the sake of looking competent. Alice is constantly nagging at me to look more professional. Appearance suggests your ability, she says.
I look down. I’m wearing a blouse, at least – a floaty black thing with sleeves that end just above my Brand. I’ve taken to keeping the scar on show lately, finding something rather empowering about it. The blouse is paired with jeans and a pair of boots; not professional, perhaps, but certainly comfortable.
As I run, a strange thought occurs to me. Luci would be mortified by this outfit. A fashion disaster, she’d call it. She’d demand to know where the glitter is. Where the drama is. I can almost imagine the revulsion in her eyes, almost hear her voice as she nicely suggests adding a little sparkle.
But then the humour is followed by sadness, and my pace slows.
I reach the park and race through it, eager to find Alice. She’s done far more growing up than I have over the past two years; but then, marriage will do that. When the truth came out about the Companion Scheme, it became clear that Four would be freed. She’d then confessed that she didn’t want to lead. Her role was enforcing change in Pyre, but that’s all. She’d passed the mantle of leadership to an elected official, then married the man who’d served as her second in command during the chaos.
Eventually, I find them on a grassy mound in the middle of the park. Alice sits cross-legged on the ground, laughing as Gray attempts to beat her at chess. She sees me and waves.
“Oi!” she giggles, “this way!”
I drop down onto the grass beside her.
“Hey, sis. How’s it going?”
She presses a finger to her lips and points a
t Gray. He pokes out his tongue and idly toys with a pawn, then slaps his head in frustration. I fire a glance at Alice.
“I still can’t believe you married this idiot.”
“Lighten up, will you? I thought you liked him.”
“I do,” I say simply, “and I get that you guys had this dramatic love story during the rebellion. But in all honestly, the guy still winds me up.”
Gray raises his head and laughs.
“Oh, look. It’s my favourite sister in law. How’s it going, Space Lady?”
I look at Alice.
“See. This is what I’m talking about. He’s twenty-eight and he calls me Space Lady.”
“It’s an affectionate nickname!”
“If you say so. Anyway, Dad said you had something for me.”
“Oh, right. One second.”
She digs around in her satchel for a moment before pulling out a small envelope.
“This came in the morning correspondence from One. I don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s marked urgent about twenty times.”
I open the envelope and stare at the words printed across the paper.
URGENT NEWS RE. THE NEPTUNE.
Suddenly my heart is in my throat, and it becomes a little harder to breathe. My panic must show on my face, because Alice glances over my shoulder.
“Wait, there’s news?! I thought the ship was missing!”
“It never arrived on Orithyia,” I say slowly, “and it never came back, either. The last thing we know is that the crew was at odds with the passengers, and the ship was still intended to go to Orithyia. Nobody knows what happened after I left.”
I tighten my grip, crumpling the paper a little, and her expression changes.
“Quinn. Nobody knows what happened when you were on board. We never got the full story.”
“I told you everything.”
She shakes her head sadly.
“No. You told us the facts of what happened. The bare bones of it. But you never told us what happened to you. How you ended up in that shuttle. Why you were covered in blood. Why you haven’t been quite the same since.”