May it now rest in peace.
Again she eyes me silently. Her eyes are so freaking direct. They hold mine unflinchingly. I almost want to look away but I don't. I think something important is about to happen here.
"You thought I'd be with some girl instead because I'm a lesbian?"
I can't help the smile that tugs my lips upward. "Nah, I never thought that." Yeah, I totally thought that. "I was just teasing you." I wasn't. I totally thought she was a lesbo.
"Uh huh."
I don't think she believes me. Which is a first. Usually girls gobble up whatever farfetched line of crap I spoon feed them. Why does she have to be so different? And why is that such a turn on?
"So... Hartley..." Man, I totally suck right now. It's almost embarrassing how much I suck.
"What about him?"
"You're with him?" Getting any information from her is seriously like pulling teeth. Most girls I know don't ever shut up, it's like they have diarrhea of the mouth. And yet I can't get this one to string more than a few words together to make a complete sentence. Pretty soon I'm going to need to buy a vowel...
"I thought we established that already."
"I'm simply reconfirming it."
Her brows draw together. "Why?"
Jeez, haven't we covered this already? It's because I totally suck.
Even though I wanted to play it cool, clearly I haven't. This conversation has turned out to be yet another disastrous interaction between us. In fact, I think a hazmat team has just been dispatched to clean up the charred remains of my ego.
This is seriously the most uncool I've ever been.
In my life.
"Curiosity." Oh, it's way more than that. She has to know that I totally want her. I'm all but salivating over here.
"Yes, I'm with Chris. And you're with," she pauses before sweeping her hand towards all the rowdy, laughing people jammed into the hallway and beyond, "everyone."
"Well, I wouldn't say everyone." That is, in fact, an exaggeration. I don’t go for dudes. Just the ladies.
"Look, Parker, I'll admit that I kind of enjoy the chemistry we have but that's all it can be. I'm not interested in doing anything more with you."
"Because of Hartley?" Yeah, I'm really stuck on this Hartley character. In fact, I'd like to smash my fist through his face right about now.
She doesn't answer immediately. But I want an answer and I'm going to get one.
"It's because of Hartley."
"Yes, Chris has something to do with it but I'm also your tutor and we need to work together." She pauses before adding, "And I'm not into playing games which is all you seem capable of doing. You're a player. It's your MO. You'll screw anything that moves-"
I think my mouth just fell open. Again. Damn but she has a real knack for leaving me speechless. Before I can utter one word in my defense- which let's face it, she's kind of correct in her assessment, she barrels on.
"Look, I'm not judging you. I'm just not interested in being one of your conquests." Again she sweeps her hand towards all the people who are smashed around us. "There are plenty of girls who don't care if you use and abuse them before throwing them away like a dirty Kleenex. You need to find one of them to toy with."
I should be used to her direct manner by now, but I'm not. Use and abuse? No one has ever complained about being used or abused by me. Each and every girl knows what she's getting into when we hook up. Not once have I ever lied about my intentions. I'm always forthright.
Clearly Jordan doesn't know what she's talking about.
And frankly it kind of pisses me off that she would even say it. I don't abuse girls. Hell, I love them. Sometimes a little too much. Just because I'm not interested in tying myself down in a monotonous (or is that- monogamous?) relationship doesn't mean that I'm the bad guy she's making me out to be. Because I'm not. I'm just in it for a good time like everyone else.
"Look, Parker." Jordan sighs unhappily, "I like you and I want us to be friends."
Seriously? She all but told me that I'm practically a serial rapist and now she wants to be friends?
Chicks. I'll never figure them out.
I think my tone is just a little bit shitty when the words finally tumble out of my mouth. "Why would you want to be friends? It sounds like you don't even like me." And I'm not going to admit just how much that bothers me because I don't really want to think about it right now. Nor do I want to think about what it means.
She steps just a bit closer until our faces are scant inches apart. "I do like you." For the first time probably ever, her eyes slide away from mine. "It's just that I've known guys like you before and I can't go back to that again."
"Guys like me?" I don't even want to think about what that means. It's bad enough to think about her with Hartley. But other guys... ones like me? Yeah, that doesn't sit too well in the pit of my gut.
She lays her hand gently on my cheek. "Yeah. I can't be with someone like you. We can be friends but that's it." She searches my eyes for understanding. "I think we could be really good friends."
I've never had a girl who was strictly a friend before. And somehow I don't think that she's talking about friends with benefits either. But I'm smart enough not to bring that up.
Yet.
"So, what, we like hang out and do non-sex stuff?"
Silently she nods her head before saying, "Yes. Nonsexual stuff. Exactly. You know- go to the library, watch movies, grab something to eat... things like that."
"So, just to clarify, there's absolutely no getting naked at any point in this relationship?" My fingers all but ache to trace over the plump contours of her lips. Yeah, this friends thing is never going to work between us. The boner in my jeans agrees unequivocally with this assessment.
"Umm," she pretends to think about it for a moment- well, I think she's pretending, "no. No nakedness."
See, she was just pretending. I knew it all along.
"You're such a killjoy, Jordan."
For the first time since I've run into her tonight, she actually gives me a smile. Something unwanted pings at the bottom of my gut. And yeah, I still want to grab hold of her and kiss the hell out of those incredibly kissable lips but that's not going to happen anytime soon. Apparently we've entered some strange realm called the friend zone.
Can't say I've ever been there before.
Why am I even contemplating this friendship nonsense? I don't want to be friends with Jordan. But I guess we're going to have to play this her way. For the time being anyway.
"Okay, fine. As you're friend, I'm telling you that you should dump Hartley. He's a total idiot."
She bursts out laughing. "Sorry, Parker. I'm not breaking up with Chris."
It was worth a try, right?
Well, another plan shot to hell. I guess its back to the drawing board because I'm not ready to give up just yet.
No. Way. In. Hell
Chapter Seven
"Hey there- good buddy, good pal."
Grinning, I set my tray down on the table across from hers. In true Jordan fashion, she levels what she must consider to be an irritated glare in my general direction. Her prickly behavior doesn't faze me for a moment. I think I'm pretty much immune to it now. Kind of like how she's immune to my stunning good looks and charismatic charm.
This girl definitely has one hell of a hard candy shell wrapped around her. But I'm banking on a nice, soft nougat filling inside. Of course, for all I know, it could be hard candy shell all the way to the core. One way or another... I'm going to find out.
At this point, I've made it my mission in life.
"What are you doing here?"
I take a forkful of-
Frowning, I peer curiously at the brown, loaf-type-thingy on my tray. Hmm... What the hell is this anyway? Ah, well, they wouldn't serve it in the cafeteria if it wasn't somewhat edible and mostly nutritious, right?
Shoving the fork into my mouth, I give her a questioning look as if to say- whatever do you mean?
/> She just keeps her steady green gaze trained on me. Have I mentioned that I absolutely love her cat-like eyes? Man, they get me completely fired up. Downstairs. Below deck. In the britches.
Come on, you know what I mean... I don't think I have to spell it out for you.
But I will- b-o-n-e-r.
And all I'm doing is eating lunch with the girl...
Yep, I've got it pretty bad right now. It's like a disease. A flesh eating one that ends up killing you in the end.
"I'm eating lunch. Why? What does it look like I'm doing?"
Her lips slant downward even more.
Which seriously has me wanting to kiss those incredibly kissable lips. I'm like a thirsty man dying for one tiny drop of rain. And there isn't a single raincloud on the horizon. If Jordan has her way, it'll never rain again. Ever.
"I can see that."
"Then I don't understand the question."
Oh, I understand the question all right. I'm not dense after all but I love when we engage in these little back and forths. So I'm just going to keep rolling with it... much to her aggravation. I kind of like it when she looks at me all heated up like that.
Yep, totally perverse... I'm not denying it at all.
"What I'm asking is why you're eating here... with me?"
I give her one of my most innocent looks. I even blink a few times for good measure before saying, "Because we're friends. And friends eat lunch together. I believe you said that yourself. You said that there would be absolutely no getting naked but we could grab something to eat together. And look, here we are doing just that." I give her a little wink. "But I'm totally open to any other suggestions you might have about what we can do together."
It's all about baby steps with this girl. Normally I like to move at the speed of light but I can take it slow. Nice and slow... and I can keep going for as long as it takes. I'm dedicated like that.
Her brows lower over her eyes before she glances at the two girls sitting next to her.
Actually, I hadn't noticed either one of them until now. I have total tunnel vision when I'm anywhere near Jordan. As my eyes land on the pair, they both blush to the roots of their hair.
See? Now that's the effect I'm used to having on girls.
This is just more proof that Jordan is some kind of strange anomaly where I'm concerned. I beam a smile at each of them. And no, it's not the panty dropper smile because all that would do is piss Jordan off even more. And I seem to have a knack for doing that without even trying.
"Hi, I'm Parker."
They both just stare without uttering a single word in response. At least I know that the world hasn't totally fallen off its axis. I'm not going to lie- once in a while I like to have my ego stroked like this. I find it especially necessary after being around a certain someone who thinks of me more or less as a walking venereal disease.
Stroke away, ladies, stroke away...
Jordan rolls her eyes before elbowing the shapely brunette next to her.
"Ow!" But the girl doesn't take her deep blue eyes off me. "Hi, I'm Lindsey." She gulps before adding in a rush of words, “We were actually in the same kindergarten class together."
"Oh," Raising my brows, I silently wrack my brain. Nope, I don't remember that but I'm going to act like I do because chicks really hate it when you don't remember every single insignificant interaction you've ever had with them.
Yep, I'm definitely a guy who learns from past mistakes.
If I were ever so inclined, I could write a how-to manual regarding the opposite sex. It would be called something like- Chicks, can't live with them but we'd all be sexually frustrated without them. Yeah, I'm working on shortening that up. But Max should definitely read it. He needs all the help he can get. In fact, I'd write a special book just for him entitled- How not to have girls come to blows about who gets stuck taking you home at the end of the night. Seriously, that whole episode still cracks me up.
I give her a little nod with a smile. "Right, sure, I knew that."
Her blush deepens.
The girl next to Lindsey just continues to stare like she's in some kind of bizarre trance... or coma. Is it possible to be in a coma with your eyes wide open? Yeah, that's a little freaky. I hold her gaze expectantly but all she does is stare mutely at me. I slide my eyes back to Jordan as I raise a brow questioningly.
"Is she okay? She's not having some type of seizure over there, is she?"
Jordan closes her eyes briefly before shaking her head in what appears to be disgust. "She's fine. Just ignore her."
Easy enough to do. Picking up my fork again, I shrug my shoulders. That loaf-type-thingy is staring me straight in the eyes. I still don't know what it is... but from what I can tell, it's starting to form a thick gelatinous layer. Jelly film or not, I scoop up another hulking forkful before shoving it into my mouth.
Hmmm, I can't... quite... pinpoint the flavor.
If Max were here, we would probably play that game- animal, vegetable, or mineral. I poke at it a few more times because I'm still curious to know what it is.
I'm just about to engage Jordan in some scintillating conversation full of sexual innuendos when Max slides into the open spot next to me. If you thought my tray was loaded down, think again. Max actually has two helpings of that... loaf-type-thingy as well as a whole bunch of other sides. Max is a first string defensive tackle and takes bulking up extremely serious. I think he's up to six full meals a day now. Plus snacks.
Almost immediately he starts shoveling the loaf into his mouth as we all stare silently at him.
"What?" he says around a mouthful of... well, whatever the hell that is.
I shrug. Jordan and the other two girls say absolutely nothing in response. Max eyes them all curiously before turning his attention back to me.
And just to be clear- being inconspicuous is not one of Max's strong suits. "So, why are we sitting over here in no man's land?"
"Just decided to try something new."
Which is completely true. Me chasing after some girl is completely new.
He nods his head towards the girls. "Do we know them?"
"Yep." I point to each one of them. "This is Jordan, Lindsey, and-" hmmm, I guess I didn't catch the dazed ones name. "That's-" I look to Jordan for help.
"Annabelle."
"Hey." He gives a nod to each of them.
"And this is Max," I add before turning my attention back to him. "So, why aren't you sitting with Captain Crazy?"
Shoving another forkful into his mouth, Max scowls. Now whether it's from my inquiry or the mystery loaf, I don't know. I suspect it's the question. Lord knows I would grimace as well thinking about that psycho chick.
"We're still splitsville."
My brows slide upwards. Well, this has to be some kind of record. Usually Max and Emily break up for- oh, about eighteen to twenty-four hours before deciding that they really are soul mates... in some demented alternate universe where soul mates act like complete whack jobs.
My lips twitch. "Didn't do enough groveling, huh?"
He shrugs. "Didn't even try." Then he shovels another forkful into his mouth. "I'm tired of her incessant drama."
Whoa. All I can really say is that I'm stunned by this sudden turn of events. Who would have ever thought it possible that Max would tire of Emily and her whiplash mood swings? And, even more impressive than that, he used the word incessant correctly in a sentence.
I'm blown away on both accounts.
Jordan asks with some interest, "So, is Emily the one who's staring daggers at us right now?"
We all turn, craning our necks to find Emily. Sure enough, she's glaring at the whole table with what appears to be a well-honed death stare. Honestly, I don't know what Max ever saw in her.
Okay, I do know what Max saw in her- it's a great set of tits and a nice ass. Not to mention a decent face. But still, there have to be other girls out there who aren't total head cases that have just as much going for them.
Find one o
f them, man! Stop subjecting us to Looney Tunes and her epic meltdowns.
For some inexplicable reason I decide to add fuel to the fire and give her a little wave. She looks precariously close to snapping. Her eyes narrow even further before she turns to confer with her table of dyed blonde, Emily wannabes.
"Dude, you're just making it worse."
"Is that really possible? She caught you talking about-"
Max elbows me hard in the ribs before nodding his head all subtle-like towards the three girls who're watching us rather owlishly. Well, Lindsey and Annabelle are staring at us wide eyed. Jordan just looks aggravated that I'm still here. I want to tell her to get used to it, because I'm not going anywhere. But she'll figure that out soon enough for herself.
"We don't really need to bring that up, do we?"
Yeah, I guess he's probably right.
Max continues to eat as his eyes rake over each girl. I can almost see the proverbial wheels in his head turning. The first two blush profusely as he inspects them silently. Then his eyes land on Jordan. Arching a brow, she holds his gaze with a challenging look of her own. Yep, she's definitely not one to back down.
God, I love that about her.
It's so damn hot!
Schwing!
Max's eyes slide back to mine for just a moment. And of course there's a knowing smirk to go along with the grin he's suddenly sporting.
Crap.
I can tell that he's totally figured me out. Honestly, I thought he and Ms. Insane-in-the-Membrane would be back together by now. And they usually eat lunch together because Max is like one of Emily's accessories. Kind of like one of those yappy little dogs in a handbag. She loves to drag him around, showing off all the rather impressive tricks he can do.
And Max loves how she rewards him for good behavior...
"So Jordan," he begins-
I want to bury my head in my hands.
"-How do you know my boy, Parker, here?"
Double crap.
I still haven't told anyone about the tutoring and let's all admit that if Max finds out about it, he'll have an absolute field day with that information. I can only hold my breath as I wait for her answer.
Confessions of a Heartbreaker Page 6