by Kat Mizera
She’d thought about moving back to Gage and Laurel’s, but it felt more comfortable to be at Miikka and Charli’s for now. Charli was sweet and loving and doted on her, which she needed right now, and it would be even better when Miikka got back from his trip next week. Being in close proximity to her brother, even for a month or two, would help her state of mind. Eventually, this heartache would pass, but for now she’d allow her family to show her how much they loved her.
She’d gone to bed early tonight because Charli was tired, too, and curling up in bed was easier than trying to pretend her life was normal, so she was surprised to see Miikka’s name on the screen of her phone. He never called her when he was on road trips unless it was an emergency and she worriedly picked it up.
“Miikka?”
“Tara.”
“Is everything okay?” He didn’t sound upset but her stomach clenched worriedly.
“Yes, of course. Why?” He was speaking Finnish and sounded very relaxed.
“Because you never call me.” She was suddenly suspicious.
“I call you all the time.”
“Not on road trips.”
“Well, I was worried about you. Charli told me what’s going on with you and Donovan.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said quickly. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Why would you lie to me? You’re heartbroken and sad, you’re not eating or sleeping well, and Charli’s worried. Which made me worry. I called Aiti and she’s also worried.”
Tara sighed. “I’m not the first woman to have her heart broken. I’ll be okay in a few weeks.”
“I don’t understand. If you love him, and he loves you, why are you apart?”
“He doesn’t love me.”
“That might be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”
“If he loved me, why wouldn’t he have told me? Or at least offered me the option of going with him to Buffalo?”
“Because you’re so happy.”
“What?”
“You’ve made it clear that you love your life in Anchorage, especially your new job, so he probably thinks he’s doing what’s best for you.”
“Well, I do love my life here. Should I have lied about that? I have you and Charli, my friends, hockey, and now an incredible new job. My life here is great.”
“As good as your life with Donovan?”
Tara swallowed, tears pricking her eyelids. “Well, no, of course not, but he doesn’t love me. You don’t understand.”
“I do understand and you’re being stubborn. Tara, I know him, and I know you. You’ve both been hurt after long relationships, but the joy I see when you’re together is special. He’s crazy about you but he’s gun-shy. His ex-wife wouldn’t move with him when he got traded. How do you think he feels, knowing how happy you’ve been? You got the job and you’ve built a life in Anchorage… All he sees is another woman breaking his heart.”
“I’m not Jane,” she snapped angrily, swiping at her eyes. “I would never break his heart!”
“Exactly.”
“But you don’t know for sure that’s how he feels.”
“One hundred percent? No. But ninety-nine percent. For sure.”
“Ninety-nine percent isn’t for sure,” she murmured.
“Go to Buffalo, Tara.”
“I can’t. I don’t even know where he lives.”
“Get on a plane and go to Buffalo. Send me the flight information and I’ll book it for you. Get an early flight out so you can be there when he gets home tomorrow.”
“I can’t just go to Buffalo.”
“You can. Because if you don’t, it’ll be the biggest mistake of your life. What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
“He tells me he doesn’t love me and wants a divorce.”
“What’s happening right now?”
She was quiet.
“You don’t know if he loves you or if he wants a divorce, and your heart is broken. If you go, at least you’ll know, and I’m ninety-nine percent sure you’ll get the news you want to hear.”
“Miikka, I’m scared,” she whispered. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone and…”
“I know. I was scared when Charli told me to go back to Finland and forget about her. Where would I be if I’d done that? Certainly not married to the love of my life, about to become a father… You have to fight, Tara. You ran away when things went bad in Finland, and it was the right thing to do in that situation, but this time it’s different. You have to run to the fight because that is the right thing to do. The important thing to do.”
“And if you’re wrong?”
“From what Charli said, you can’t feel much worse than you already do. Now go find a flight and I’ll book it for you.”
“No.” She took a breath. “I have Donovan’s credit card, and we’re still married. I’m going to use it.”
“Call me? Tell me how it goes?”
“I will.”
“Love you, Tara.”
“Love you, too.” She hung up and reached for her laptop.
Her flight left Anchorage at the ass crack of dawn, and Tara dozed on the way to Minneapolis. There would be a two-hour layover there, and she’d arrive in Buffalo early in the evening. It was a long day, but at the end of it she’d see Donovan. One way or another. It occurred to her she had no idea where he was or what he was doing; they hadn’t exchanged so much as a text since he’d left. She knew he’d arrived in Buffalo okay because she’d seen him play on television, but it was odd being so distanced from him, both emotionally and geographically.
Since the layover was so long, she got off the plane to use the bathroom and find something to eat. Her stomach was a little upset because she hadn’t eaten anything before she left, so she wanted coffee and something to nibble on. She used the bathroom and washed up, and then headed out looking for a place that had coffee. Starbucks was her best bet, and she waited in the longest line of her life to get her grande café latte and blueberry scone. She took a bite as she walked through the terminal back toward her gate.
She was getting nervous again, doubting her decision to make this trip at all. She didn’t know what she would do if Donovan told her to go back to Anchorage and forget about them. Or worse, what if she found him with Jane?
A shudder went through her just thinking about it, and she put it out of her mind. She had to trust in him. What good was any of this if she didn’t trust him? Maybe he didn’t love her back, that was entirely possible, but he wasn’t with Jane. That just wasn’t who he was. He didn’t want or need her back in his life.
She got to the gate and sighed. There was still an hour until the flight left, and then it would be another two hours to get to Buffalo. Along with another two-hour time difference. She’d left at six in the morning Anchorage time and wouldn’t arrive until after seven Buffalo time, so she was loath to get back on the plane just yet. She leaned against the wall sipping her coffee and casually watching people lining up, waiting to board.
The airport was busy this time of day and as she watched the throngs of people walking back and forth, she spied a familiar head of unruly dark hair. Her lungs froze, as if she couldn’t take a breath, and she cocked her head in astonishment.
It couldn’t be.
Donovan couldn’t possibly be walking through the Minneapolis airport, heading right toward this gate.
Could he?
She took a tentative step forward, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. How was this possible?
She took another step and faltered as he stopped to dig something out of his pocket. And then she saw it.
The wedding ring swinging from the chain around his neck. Except it wasn’t hidden inside his shirt this time. It was out, bouncing on his chest as he started to move again. He looked incredible in jeans, a long-sleeved T-shirt, biker boots, and a leather jacket. The ring hanging around his neck was the hottest thing he was wearing, though.
Tara took another step a
nd called his name.
“Donovan!”
37
Donovan heard his name and looked around. Was one of his teammates at the airport, too?
“Donovan…” He heard it again and this time there was a slight accent to the voice. A woman’s voice.
A familiar woman’s voice.
He whirled, his heart beating triple time as he scanned the sea of faces all around him.
“Donovan!”
Then he saw a flash of golden-red hair and started to run.
“Tara!” He got to her just as she hurled herself into his arms.
“What are you doing here?” They spoke in unison and he pulled her close again.
“I was going to get you.”
“I was coming to find you.” They spoke on top of each other and then laughed softly.
“You first,” he said gently.
“I had to see you, talk to you, ask you why you didn’t want me to go to Buffalo with you.” She took a breath. “Aren’t you supposed to be heading back to Buffalo?”
“I had to see you, talk to you, ask you why you didn’t want to come to Buffalo with me.”
There was an awkward silence as they stared at each other, everything else disappearing.
“But I do,” she whispered after a long hesitation. “More than anything.”
“Oh my god.” He bent his head and kissed her, long and deep, his mouth ravishing hers. He’d been dreaming of this moment since he’d left Anchorage, and now that it was happening, he couldn’t describe the emotion raging through him. Relief and happiness and love and desire, all rolled up in a tangle of tongues and lips.
“The flight to Buffalo leaves in forty-five minutes,” she said when they finally came up for air. “I had a layover here. Do you think you can get on it?”
“Let’s find out.” He grabbed her hand and they hurried over to the gate agent. It took a few minutes and she had to shuffle a few people around, but in the end, they wound up together in first class.
They didn’t talk the whole time Donovan was trying to change his flight or while they boarded, but he never let go of her hand, his fingers digging into hers to make sure she knew he wasn’t going to let go. There was so much to say, but they needed to sit down first. Take a breath. Then he might kiss her some more. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that she was here. She’d been coming to him at the same time he’d been going to her.
“So tell me what you’re doing here,” he said once they were in the air, his fingers still wrapped around hers.
“I had to know,” she said softly, those stormy blue eyes he loved so much searching his face.
“Had to know what?”
“If you love me the way I love you.”
“Yes. A thousand times yes.” He kissed her again, pressing his lips to hers and holding on for dear life.
“Then why did you leave me?” she whispered against his mouth. “How could you leave me?”
“I thought that’s what you wanted. You had your family, your friends, your new job… And all I could think about was—” He cut off abruptly, remembering his father’s warning and how he had to stop comparing Tara to Jane.
“Jane,” she said, finishing his thought. “You kept comparing me to Jane.” She shook her head. “Well, I’m telling you right now to knock it off. I’m not her. I love you, and I’ll go wherever you want me to go—Buffalo, Stockholm, freakin’ Kenya.”
“Kenya?” He arched a brow. “I think you’re confused about what the KHL stands for.” The KHL was the top-tier Russian hockey league, but she knew that, and he couldn’t resist teasing her.
“The point is, I’ll go anywhere you go, as long as you love me.”
“I do.” He cupped the side of her face with his hand, looking deep into her eyes, his thumb gently caressing her skin. “Can you forgive me for being a dumbass? I want you with me, but I want you to be happy, too. I was afraid if I took you away from everything you knew, you’d be miserable.”
“I left everything I knew in Finland and started over in Anchorage, and I wasn’t miserable at all.”
“No, but you had your brother and a bunch of friends. In Buffalo, you’ll have no one.”
“Silly.” She shook her head. “I’ll have you. My husband. The man I love. My soulmate. What else could I possibly need?”
“I don’t know if you’ll be able to find another coaching job.”
She shrugged. “I’ll find something to keep me busy. I’m sure there’s hockey in Buffalo, and maybe another small college or high school looking for a coach. Or a part-time English teacher. Either way, I’ll be fine. I’m pretty self-sufficient, and I’m thinking we’re going to make babies in another few years.” She paused. “You want babies, right?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. I want babies.”
“Thank goodness.”
“God, I love you.” He pressed his forehead to hers, staring into her eyes until the flight attendant came by asking if they wanted champagne. “Actually, yes,” he told her, smiling. “We’re celebrating.”
“What are you celebrating?” she asked, handing them each a glass.
“We just got married.” He reached up to unfasten the chain around his neck and remove his wedding ring. He looked at Tara. “Would you like to put this on my finger again?”
“Yes.” Her hand shook a little as she slid it on the ring finger of his left hand.
Then they did the same thing with hers. When they were finished, they held their hands together, admiring their rings.
“We’ll go on a honeymoon this summer,” he said softly. “How does that sound?”
“Wonderful.”
“Bonus to living in Buffalo is that the flight to Finland is a lot closer from Buffalo.”
“It is. We’ll have to go there this summer, too. Maybe after our honeymoon.”
“Whenever you want.”
They kissed once more, lightly, softly, as if getting to know each other all over again.
“I don’t want you to go back to Anchorage,” he said after a moment. “I mean, for now. I want you to stay in Buffalo with me.”
“I have to go get my things, and we have to pack up the house.”
“We can hire people to pack up the house and ship our vehicles. I just don’t want you away from me.”
“You’re going to leave me to go on road trips,” she pointed out, though she was smiling.
“You’ll come with me on those, too. I’ll sneak you into my hotel rooms and stuff.”
She laughed. “I’m thinking your coach and team aren’t going to appreciate seeing me everywhere.”
He laughed, too. “Probably not. I’m already in trouble. Coach wasn’t happy with me when I told him I needed a day off.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask, how did you get a day off?”
“I told him I had a family situation I had to take care of, that I had to sort out the situation with my wife.”
“Did you?” Her eyes twinkled with mirth.
“I think so. She’s on a flight to Buffalo as we speak and I’m going to tie her to the bed so she can’t leave me ever again.”
“Let’s just be clear,” she said solemnly. “I am not the one who left you. You left me, so technically, I should tie you to the bed.”
He paused. “Okay, but I have to go to work.”
“Fine. But the rest of the time, you’ll be tied to the bed. Naked.”
“Now I like the sound of that,” he murmured, leaning over to kiss her neck. “What happens once I’m naked and tied to the bed?”
She leaned over and whispered in his ear.
Epilogue
Donovan had forgotten all about the All-Star weekend break coming up the following week, and though he hated making that long flight, he and Tara flew back to Anchorage. It was going to be bittersweet to see their friends and family, but it was a convenient time to pick up more of Tara’s things, hire a moving company, and get a realtor to put the house on the market. Most of those things could hav
e been done from Buffalo, but saying a proper goodbye to his friends and letting Tara resign in person felt important.
Gage and Laurel hosted a going away party for them, and Donovan wasn’t sure how his old teammates would feel about him now that he played for another team, but they were excited to see him. Tara disappeared with Charli and a few of the other wives while he settled in the sunroom with a beer and a huge steak.
“So, what’s it like out there?” Logan asked him. “Good vibe in the locker room?”
“Yeah, they seem like good guys. I was only with them for a handful of games before the break, but I think it’s a good fit for me. A lot of younger guys, they’ve been rebuilding the last few years, but I liked it.”
“You’re gonna miss us, though,” Miikka said, nodding emphatically.
Donovan chuckled. “I will. More than I thought I would. I spent a lot of time thinking about getting traded, and then when it happened, I was second-guessing myself.”
“It’s the right time in your career to make the move,” Aaron said. “That’s what I did when I came to Alaska. I’d been kicking and clawing my way to a starting position and then this crazy opportunity fell into my lap. I wasn’t sure what the hell to expect from an expansion team in Anchorage, and we’ve definitely had our struggles, but I have zero regrets. And you shouldn’t, either. Go kick ass in Buffalo. Show them what you’ve got and own it. You’re a hell of a goalie, and this is your time to shine.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate that.” Donovan held out his hand and Aaron shook it.
“How’s Peyton doing?” Ryder asked.
“She’s okay. She moved back to Michigan and is living with my parents. She’s working remotely for her old job for now and saving up to get her own place. I don’t know what her plans are beyond that, but I’m just happy she’s away from Troy.”
“Fucking douche,” Logan muttered. “But the look on his face when we showed up was epic. I wish someone had thought to take a picture.”