The fourth guest was a rather quiet young woman who dealt with the office work in a local grocery shop. She was pale, with a mass of auburn hair that fell in natural waves and curls around her rather pinched face, emphasizing her plainness. Her eyes were small and her mouth was almost lipless, so tightly did she hold them in, tense and unforthcoming. It was only when she smiled that she showed friendliness and animation.
Apart from the brief social moments when they ate together, Ivor was on his own. He didn’t encourage conversation and he knew that his serious expression, his apparent lack of interest in the other guests made him appear unapproachable. He didn’t want to be sociable, he deserved to be friendless and alone.
He had started work as an insurance agent, walking around an area of the town where most of the payments were pennies on fifteen-year endowment policies. Boring work as the occupants were often not at home and he found the books and payments left for him in a way that reminded of him of what he had done to Marie and the children, robbing the books she had left out with payment. New business was hard to come by, but as he became known his politeness and smart appearance persuaded a few to add to their policies, and his income gradually improved.
The loneliness was heartbreaking and he bitterly regretted leaving. Surely they could have worked through it? What a fool he’d been, to lie for all those years, and even after that, when Marie had found out about his father living in that filth and had given him the chance to put everything right, he’d walked away to nurse his shame and guilt instead of facing it.
A bad start in life never leaves you, he thought sadly. Isolated by his parents’ inadequacies he’d accepted none of the squalor but had been unable to shake off the humiliation and lack of social skills their behaviour had caused. Only with Marie had he felt true to himself, but all the time he’d been with her, happiness beginning to be an accepted right, his past had been hovering like a threatening shadow waiting for the opportunity to engulf him.
He’d been a fool to expect to cheat the past, to try to live up to Marie’s standards and forget his disastrous beginnings. His father was weak, his mother was dirty and lazy – and worse – and he must be the same. If not now, then later. When life became harder, or when old age wore down his determination, he would succumb to those traits and go under.
A child of such parents, how could he escape the inevitable? His dearest hope was that he hadn’t passed on those tendencies to his darling Violet. By running away, not giving her the chance to see his deterioration into the blackness of such illness, he hoped he had lessened that chance. He knew nothing about such illnesses and could only do what he thought best. Staying away was the worst and the best thing he could do. He loved them so much. Marie was better off without him. But he missed them all. Marie, their children, his comfortable home that his fears of the past had managed to destroy.
One thing he had not brought with him was clothing coupons. He had managed to bring most of his clothing by taking a taxi to the railway station, but he was seriously short of socks. Somehow, in the careful plan to move, he had brought only one pair and they were in need of darning, as he had worn them every day, washing them out each evening and putting them back on – sometimes still damp – the following morning. Without clothing coupons he couldn’t buy more.
He asked his landlady how and where he applied for replacement coupons but she couldn’t help, and in desperation he spoke to the quiet young woman who shared his table at meal times, and whose name he had learned was Euphemia. ‘But everyone calls me Effie,’ she had explained.
During their supper, he broached the subject and Effie immediately offered him sufficient coupons to buy a few pairs of socks.
‘I couldn’t take yours,’ he protested, Effie was always smartly dressed – her clothes neatly cared for, her shoes immaculately polished. ‘There can’t be any to spare from someone who cares about their appearance as you obviously do.’
She fumbled in her handbag and offered him the book of coupons. ‘I don’t need them. My mother makes my clothes from second-hand garments and I have only to buy shoes and stockings and things.’ She pressed them into his hand. ‘We’ll make it a loan if you prefer, but I’m not short, honestly.’
‘The problem is, I don’t know when I’ll get more.’ Almost without thought he began explaining his circumstances, shame making him look away as they finished the watery custard and two small tinned plums.
‘I’ve left home, you see. I’ve left my wife and children. I can’t tell you why but I had no choice. I didn’t pack very well, not wanting to take anything more than I needed, and, well, I forgot a few things, socks and handkerchiefs, and even if I had remembered clothing coupons I wouldn’t have taken them. My wife will need them more than me.’
Effie was curious but she refrained from asking questions. She knew he was from Cwm Derw, a place she had once known, having seen him address a letter there. She thought that this man, who was so distressed, would perhaps tell her one day, and she didn’t want to put him off by trying to persuade him. She guessed he would need someone to talk to.
‘First thing tomorrow you must go to the town hall and explain that you’ve lost your coupons,’ she said. She smiled then, a wide smile that lit up her eyes, brightening her rather dull expression. ‘They might not believe you, mind. I think a lot of people try it on. You know, tell lies in the hope of getting extra coupons.’
He had to tell the girl in the office more than he wanted to, but left there with the promise of ten coupons to tide him over until the new issue. With the coupons borrowed from Effie, he bought socks and a couple of handkerchiefs. He wondered sadly how long they would last and where he would be when they needed replacing.
Effie sat next to him at supper and asked how he had got on.
‘Splendidly, thanks to you.’ He handed her the remaining coupons. ‘I’ll be issued with ten coupons tomorrow and I’ll be able to repay those I’ve used.’
‘Keep them, in case there’s something else you’ve forgotten,’ she said, pushing them back at him. ‘If I need some I’ll ask my mother.’
The ice broken, they talked easily during meal times over the following days, and sometimes, when he went to bed, Ivor felt an overwhelming guilt. He’d enjoyed the evening, sitting talking to Effie, and he shouldn’t be enjoying life, not for a single minute. For two nights he didn’t appear for supper, easing his conscience by eating in a café. His money was sufficient for his needs. He’d brought a small nest egg with him saved from the last horse race he’d gambled on, and which he’d intended to give to Marie for some extra furniture from the second-hand shop in town. Now, as he was earning a small wage and not risking any of it by gambling, he managed to send a few pounds occasionally to Marie.
*
To Jennie’s surprise Mr James offered a second invitation. ‘There’s a concert on at the church hall and I’ve been asked to make an introductory speech. Would you like to come with me?’
‘I wouldn’t be on stage or anything, would I?’ she asked doubtfully.
‘You’ll sit in the front row and clap enthusiastically when I’ve finished’ he said. ‘Just promise not to boo or jeer when I start telling them how wonderful everyone is.’
‘I can manage the front row. Yes, I’d love to go with you.’
‘Good. I call for you at seven.’
‘Oh, er. Ernie, what should I wear?’
‘Long, I think, as we’re guests of honour.’
*
‘Long dress? Guests of honour? God ’elp, you’re going up in the world, aren’t you?’ Lucy teased later. ‘I’ll do your hair up in a swirl on top with curls in the centre, and you can borrow my pearl necklace if you like. I’ll want a blow by blow report of what happens, mind. Every little detail. I’ve never met a “Guest of Honour” before!’
Laughing at the unexpected excitement, they went to Jennie’s house and searched through her wardrobe to decide on the most suitable outfit.
Marie heard of the inv
itation from her parents. ‘She’s so excited.’ Belle told her. ‘Your father and I have begged and borrowed coupons so she can buy a new dress but she’s convinced that her pink dress made over from your bridesmaid dress will do. I ask you! Pink! It isn’t elegant enough for a guest of honour. Try and talk to her, Marie, I know she’ll be more confident wearing something new and special.’
‘I’ll spare her a few coupons too,’ Marie replied. ‘Ivor sent us some a couple of days ago.’
‘So you know where he is? And why he doesn’t come home?’
‘No idea, he won’t say.’
‘That’s disgraceful. You really don’t know where he is?’
‘I think he’s in Swansea. We once had a wonderful holiday there, exploring Gower, but it’s a big town and if I went there, not knowing his address or where he’s working, I’d never find him. He’ll be found when he wants to be found and not before.’
‘And his father, is he intending to stay with you?’
‘He’s got nowhere else to go. I said he can stay until Ivor comes back and they can talk. The thing is, I don’t think Ivor will come back while Rhodri’s there.’
‘Does he know he’s with you? When Ivor left his father was ill and in hospital. He might think he’s still there.’
‘I don’t know what Ivor thinks and I’m beginning not to care.’
‘You aren’t thinking of divorce, I hope!’ She hesitated, then added, ‘Geoff is a good friend to you I hear.’
‘No, Mam, I’m not anxious to end my marriage. I want to restart it, but how I do that is a mystery to me when I can’t find Ivor, let alone talk him into coming back to us.’
‘You’d have him back?’
‘Of course, Mam. I just want to talk to him, find out why he left us. I know I’ll be able to persuade him to come back.’
Marie went home with her thoughts jangled. It was so frustrating to be unable to find Ivor. Waiting until he felt able to come home was hard. It was easier for him: he had chosen this separation and he knew where to find her if he wanted to.
‘Any post?’ she called to her father-in-law as she closed the door behind her.
‘Only the rates bill,’ he called back. ‘I opened it and threw the envelope on the fire. No point in littering the place with unnecessary rubbish is there?’
She was not completely at ease with this man who was her father-in-law, grandfather to Violet and step-grandfather to the boys. He was often vague and lost in his thoughts and sometimes did unlikely things. She had made Violet promise never to go out with him ‘Except when I’m with you.’ She had spoken lightly and had added. ‘I like to be with you every moment I can. And share everything you do. I love you very much, you see. Roger and Royston too.’ She didn’t want to frighten the child with what were only unsubstantiated fears that Rhodri would return to being the sick man they had so recently known.
She threw off her coat and went into the kitchen to start preparing their evening meal. The boys would be in soon and Violet was already settled with her drawing book in the corner of the living room, close to the bright log fire. She went to the kitchen to find that saucepans were simmering ready for the vegetables and a few sausages spluttered in the frying pan under a low heat.
‘Rhodri? This is a nice surprise.’ She glanced at his hands and hoped fervently that he had washed them before touching the food. Cleanliness was still low on his list of priorities. The vegetables were chopped and the table in the small room off the kitchen was set for five. She stared at the table. Underneath each plate was a pile of not very clean newspaper.
‘I know you wish it was set for six, but not today,’ he said, misunderstanding her stare. ‘Perhaps tomorrow.’
‘Perhaps,’ she said doubtfully. She wished she didn’t have to work. Her uneasiness was growing and having the children home before she finished work was something she couldn’t change. Or could she? She began to work out the possibility of managing on fewer hours. Perhaps, if Mr Harries would allow her to finish at four instead of five thirty, the time Violet had to spent alone with Rhodri would be too short for anything to happen. What could happen? He saw the doctor regularly and if there had been any possibility of danger to her or the children she would have been told.
By being careful and adding the money sent by Ivor, Marie had almost paid off the arrears owed on the house in Hill Crescent. When the debt was finally cleared she intended to start looking for Ivor. If he were to see them settled into this comfortable house at the edge of the wood, and no longer in debt, she thought she might persuade him to return to his family. First she had to find him. As usual when she faced a problem, she went to see Geoff.
He was attending to a small queue of customers on that Saturday afternoon and she began to anticipate his needs, collecting tins of paint or other small items from the shelves or stores as soon as the customer requested them. Having so frequently bought the materials, she knew where everything was kept. When there was a lull in the stream of customers planning a weekend of work, she interrupted his thanks by saying, ‘Geoff, once more I need your help.’
‘It’s yours, you know that,’ he said, encouraging her to talk by sitting on the counter beside her and smiling his willingness to listen. The counter was littered with unwanted items that needed to be replaced on the shelves but he held her hand as she began to move them. ‘Leave that, I can deal with tidying up later.’
She slowly pulled her hand away, and said briefly, ‘I want to find Ivor. Why would he want to hide from me?’ she asked sorrowfully. ‘I’ve let him down. If he’d been able to talk to me he’d still be here.’
‘He’s hiding from his own mistakes, not from you, Marie. He was stupid, pretending to be someone different from who he really is, and when he was found out he couldn’t cope. That’s the truth of it.’
‘I want to find him,’ she repeated.
‘And I want to help. Shall we go to Swansea and just drive around, ask a few people, show his photograph and see where that takes us? It’s unlikely we’ll find him, but it’s better than doing nothing.’
‘Thanks, Geoff.’
Leaving the boys and Rhodri, they planned to take Violet the following day. At ten, as she was about to set off, a small boy came with a message for her. She took the note and read it, alarm showing on her face.
‘It’s Dad,’ she said. ‘He’s fallen and Jennie’s gone out for the day. I’ll have to go.’
Leaving Violet in the care of the twins, Geoff drove her and they found Howard sitting at the bottom of the stairs nursing his arm.
‘I don’t believe this!’ Marie gasped. ‘First Mam and now you.’
They took him to hospital and were reassured that the arm wasn’t broken, just badly bruised. By then it was after one o’clock. ‘Too late to go now,’ Marie said.
‘Next week we’ll try again,’ he said to comfort her.
They went back to Badgers Brook where the boys were clearing a corner of the garden of some overgrown and straggly bushes. ‘Where’s Violet?’ Marie called, and they shrugged their shoulders and carried on with their task. ‘What d’you mean? Where is she?’
‘She went for a walk in the wood with Grandad Rhodri.’
Roger said. ‘It isn’t fair, I wanted to go but Royston said we had to finish this.’
A cold panic overwhelmed her and she leaned against the side of the van. ‘How long have they been gone?’
‘I don’t know. I know we’re starving and he promised to make us some sandwiches,’ Royston said, clutching his stomach theatrically.
Sensing Marie’s alarm without her saying a word, Geoff slammed the van door and took charge. ‘I’ll go through the trees towards the stream and you go across to the village,’ he said, and the boys, catching the urgency of his words, dropped their tools and asked where they should look.
It was almost five o’clock before they found her. She came through the trees singing and carrying a clump of wild daisies, which she insisted on planting in the garden the boys had
recently dug.
They had walked further than they intended, looking for birds’ nests, Rhodri had explained apologetically. ‘Then we sat near the badger sett. I’ve half promised that we’ll go out one night and watch for them, all of us. So long as we sit to windward and we’re very quiet, they’ll go about their business undisturbed.’
When Geoff left, after a simple meal of soup and crusty bread, Marie followed him to the van.
‘I know she was unharmed, but I don’t like leaving her with him. He’s so erratic and unreliable, and I can’t forget how confused and ill he was not so long ago.’
‘She can come to the shop after school if you like. She’ll be safe enough with me and I can bring her home when the shop closes and arrive at the same time as you. How will that be?’
To avoid hurting Rhodri’s feelings and perhaps bringing back thoughts of his recent illness, they told Violet that she was being offered a job and would be paid every week on Friday night. She was delighted and asked Marie to make her a special apron so she looked smart.
‘Clothes your first thought, just like your father,’ Marie said sadly.
*
It was Jennie who first saw Ivor. She and Ernie James had gone to Swansea for a day out one Saturday, leaving Lucy to deal with the Saturday morning clients. Ernie had suggested a walk on the sandy bay that curved south-westward the six miles to Mumbles. The centre of Swansea was a short walk from the sea but the shops were too tempting for Jennie and at three o’clock they were still wandering around the market, buying the odd item and admiring many others.
It was as she was looking at some inexpensive jewellery that Ernie presented his bombshell. ‘Don’t look at cheap rubbish. You deserve better than that.’
She laughed. ‘Me deserve better? Better has to be paid for, Ernie, and besides, I like cheap jewellery. Wear it, enjoy it, then throw it away. No worries about it being stolen if it’s worthless.’ She turned and smiled at him and saw that there was no echoing smile on his face. ‘What is it? Have I said something utterly stupid? I’m sorry but I’ve never had the money to even consider the best and the only way to deal with that is to pretend you don’t care.’
The House by the Brook Page 15