My classes drag by. I doodle pictures on notes, keeping my eyes buried in my notebook. Hayze met me during lunch and after both classes. He’s unfazed after our argument.
“We will pick up where we left off next week,” the professor says.
As students file from the room, I gather my things and leave. Hayze is leaned against the opposite wall, his foot kicked back. His eyes meet mine and he smiles with relief. Out of the corner of my eye I see a girl standing next to him, she looks in my direction as he waves at me. The notebook slips from his hands, papers scatter to the floor. He stalks over to me, cups my face in his hands and kisses me.
He pulls from my mouth, but his hands stay cuffed around my face. “Not that I’m complaining but what was that about?” I ask.
He turns and I peek over his shoulder. I catch a glimpse of the girl, turning and storming away. “I think she got the idea,” he laughs.
“You don’t have to grope me in public. You could just tell them,” I say.
He smiles. “I know, but where’s the fun in that?”
Once we are on the sidewalk, I spot Lea’s blonde bob running toward us. She waves with both hands as she approaches.
“There you are! I have been looking all over for you. You didn’t come back last night,” she says.
Hayze walks up and slings an arm around my shoulder.
“Oh,” she said, with a brow cocked.
“Yeah, we uh, stayed at the cabin last night,” I tell her.
She winks. “I can see that. So, are we still on for shopping?”
“Ah, I forgot!”
“Well you are not getting out of it,” she says.
“Maybe we already had plans,” Hayze says.
Lea taps on her phone, ignoring him. “Okay, so let’s go to the hall.”
I crinkle my nose. “What?”
“Yeah, that’s what we call the mall here. You can literally stand on one side and see the other. Its craziness,” she says.
Hayze groans, “Can we at least take my car?”
Lea covers her smile. “You are actually comin’ with us?”
“Sure, why not?” He rubs the back of her head and puts his aviators in place.
“Because you hate shopping; that’s it, I have seen it all.” I shoot her a look, hoping she’ll stop teasing him. The truth is I’m happy he agreed to come with us. After this morning I was afraid last night was a mistake.
Once we’re stuffed in the car, Hayze exhales. “You really wanna go to the mall?”
“That’s the plan. By the way, Taylor, you will never guess who sent me a friend request.” I hear Hayze sigh. I know he already regrets agreeing to girl’s day.
“Who?” I ask.
“Scott!” I turn to face her. Her dimples greet me in a shit eating grin. “What? When?”
“This morning. He sent me a message asking for my number, and then he was like let me know when you guys go out again.”
“I thought you guys already talked? How did you invite him to my party?” I ask, confused. She waves me off and laughs.
“I just texted him from your phone,” he says.
“What the fuck did I sign up for?” Hayze sighs.
“This is obviously going to be a problem. We need to draw up a timesheet for Taylor. And for the record I will never let you date a friend again.” I frown at her choice of words.
“You will never have to,” he smiles. “Why are we here?”
“It’s getting cold outside. We need new winter clothes, and Taylor needs going out attire,” Lea says.
“I think her clothes are fine.”
“Of course you do,” Lea says and her voice drips with sarcasm. I get out of the car and let Lea out of the back. She smoothes down her clothes and motions me to follow her.
“So, what about Scott?”
She shrugs, playing it off but her grin gives her excitement away. “We’ve been texting back and forth today. We both kinda want to hang out, but I wanted to ask you first. Would that be weird?”
“I’m dating your brother.” I stare at her blankly.
“Oh yeah, you don’t care!”
Hayze shakes his head at his sister. His fingers snake around mine, leading me to the small building. I’ve never been to the Nacogdoches mall. It’s a town over from Lufkin, the only place I was allowed to drive to. While that mall is sadly small, it has nothing on this place. With just a handful of store, we’re finished after two stop. Lea’s arms are filled with sacks. I leave with only two, against her will.
I spend the night at Hayze’s. It crosses my mind that we are rushing whatever this is. But I push that thought to the side. I may look back on my college years with regret when I’m old and gray, but for now I’m living in the moment. Because right now I regret being compliant, I regret the old me and I welcome the new girl that surfaces more each time Hayze comes around.
ten
As the week closed Hayze and I fell into a relationship. The hesitation of having him in each aspect of my life subsided. He drove me to work and walked me to class, continually proving to me and those around that he's capable of change.
Students buzzed through the dorm. Thanksgiving break lingered near with promises of the semesters end. I strip my shirt and replace it with my black Mystic tee. I grab my purse, check the time and walk outside to wait for Hayze.
My eyes scan the parking lot, searching. I check the time again, seeing he's late. I collapse on the top step and sigh with frustration. I watch students trudge up the stairs as the last class lets out. I call and text him repeatedly. Nothing. Finally, I text Lea
I type a text and press send.Have you seen Hayze?
Nope. Why what's up? She responds immediately.
I don’t respond, I shove my phone in my purse and run to the car, furious he forgot to pick me up. I blare my music the entire drive and unintentionally run a red light. When I pull in the bar’s parking lot I search for his car. Nothing. I walk inside, checking every room.
“Hey Taylor.” Shea waves, smiling. “What’s wrong?"
"Is Hayze here?" I ask.
Her face falls. "No... He isn't with you?"
I shake my head. I walk over to the door, searching the parking lot again. Cars trump by, but Hayze isn’t in sight. I close the door in defeat and force a smile on my face.
“He’ll be here,” she promises.
Randy walks from the back. “Hey Taylor, how are classes going?”
“Fine, thanks for asking,” I say politely. He’s so awkward to talk to. I know he only speaks to us to be polite. He usually sits in a corner and reads, only coming out when he has to help.
He turns, looking around the bar. “Where’s Hayze?”
“Uhh, um, he’ll be here,” I say.
“Have you talked to him?” He pulls his glasses off and rubs his eyes. His voice is urgent and it doesn’t sit right with me. He shoves money in the bar register and pulls out the bar keys. Eric and Jace walk into the bar.
“I haven’t talked to him today, but he’ll be here.” As the words leave my mouth, I’m unsure if I’m trying to convince him or myself.
“Not this shit again!” Eric complains.
“If Taylor said he’ll be here, he’ll be here!” Shea warns.
“I’m just sayin’ if…” Eric’s voice trails off, Shea plants her fists on her hips and he walks away.
I turn to Shea; her face is worried. “I feel like I’m in the dark on something,” I whisper.
She opens her mouth to speak, but Randy holds out his hand, cutting her off. “Doors are open! Sorry Tay,” she says as she whisks away.
Regular patrons flooded the floor. I trumped the floor during my shift, returning to tables as they complained. Eric, Jace, Shea, and I picked up the slack of Hayze’s disappearance, even Randy contributed. I watched the door each time it swung open, hope swelled in my stomach, only to be squashed by drunken frat boys. It was unsettling to find out how much he’s needed; especially by me.
After clean
up, I grabbed my keys and returned to my car. I searched the lot again, coming up short. I sent a text, called him, and texted Lea again; nothing. I shoved my car into drive, headed in the direction of his apartment. As I parked I realized his car wasn’t in the lot. My stomach lurked, warnings were going up. I knew something was wrong. I knocked on the door and stood back, waiting. No longer than a minute later, I tested the door knob. To my advantage it was unlocked.
“Hayze?” I say as I enter the apartment.
I search the dark rooms and knock on Joel’s door, all leading me to a dead end. Finally, I go into Hayze’s room and wait. I lie on his bed, popping up with each sound. Every car door, stomping upstairs, and voice is him. The last time I looked at my phone it was past two and eventually my heavy eyes win.
A sound stirs me. I open my eyes and clamp them shut. The bright light filters through the blinds. I check my phone seeing that it’s after seven in the morning. The door to Hayze’s room slams open, hitting the back of the wall.
“Fuck,” he groans.
His hands brace his head, his eyes shut. As he walks toward the bed, my jaw drops. I gasp when I spot the white band on his wrist.
“Hayze! You have a hospital band on your wrist!”
He looks at me, disoriented. “When did you get here?”
“I’ve been here… You didn’t show up to work last night, so I came by.” I quickly explain myself, my cheeks heat with embarrassment.
He grunts something inaudible before collapsing on the bed. He lands on his stomach, feet hanging off the bed. His arms are on each side of him, I bring my hand to his right wrist to inspect the bracelet.
“What happened?” I ask.
“Tell you later,” he mumbles.
“Hayze, I don’t like this. Just tell me!”
“Fuck you’re loud,” he grumbles, his mouth is pressed into the pillow.
“SERIOUSLY? I was worried about you all night. People kept coming up to me at work, asking where you were. I feel like everyone knows something I don’t!”
“We can talk when I wake up,” he mutters.
“No, we won’t! Because I won’t be here!” I threaten.
“HAYZE!” I yell.
Moments tick by. Like the stupid, naïve girl that I am, I sit by his side waiting for him to open up. I shove his shoulder and he rolls to the side. His eyes are closed and his breath is even. He drifted into a peaceful slumber while I yelled and demanded to know where he was. I jump from the bed, grab my coat and keys and slam his door.
The drive back to my dorm is horrible. I decide to skip on classes today. I know it’s a bad idea because everyone skips on Mondays and professors always assign homework when there are a lot of absences. I swipe every tear that falls down my face. More than anything else, I’m angry with myself. I knew what I was getting myself into. I suspected he was out all night, but I didn’t know it was that bad. He didn’t even have the decency to call me.
Hours later, Hayze knocks on the door and Lea lets him in. He stumbles in, still in the same clothes, and the hospital band is in place. He sits on the bed beside me, I scan his face. His eyes, the deep amber eyes that are framed with thick lashes, are lined with dark circles. His complexion is pale.
“You look like shit,” Lea says.
He flips her off. “Yeah, well, I’ve felt better.”
I push his hair from his forehead then grab his arm for support. “Are you okay?”
“I will be,” he says.
My lips press in a hard line. Suddenly, the clipped responses are not enough. I stand and place my hands on my hips. He looks at me, his face lined with exhaustion. “Here we go,” he whispers.
“You can’t just disappear and show back up with a hospital band on and expect me not to be upset! Your attitude is pissing me off! What happened, Hayze? What the hell happened?” I yell.
His hand cradles his forehead. “First of all, stop yelling, I have a headache. I had my stomach pumped. It’s no big deal, babe.”
“Wait…What? Why?” I look to Lea then to Hayze. “You dropped me off at school, drank so much you had to get your stomach pumped, and then you don’t come to work? Or even call me!”
“Yeah…Something like that,” he says.
“Just tell her,” Lea says.
“Yeah, Hayze, just tell me!” I seethe.
“Lea,” he warns.
She stands, frowns at him and walks outside. He hangs his head and props his elbows on the knees. I take a seat beside him and place my hand on his thigh. When he looks at me, my face falls. He just doesn’t look like Hayze.
“You have gotta give me some answers,” I said. His eyes dance across my face; he looks down and shakes his head. “Is this a regular thing?”
“Not anymore,” he says.
I stare at him with my lips pressed to the side, thinking. He knows how to manipulate answers. I ask a question and he gives me an answer that could go either way. I get so frustrated with him. Either way, I’m led to believe that this used to happen a lot.
“So, whatever this is, you just can’t talk about it right now? You will tell me some day, right?” I urge and he looks away from me.
“I hope I don’t have to,” he says.
“You left class, got drunk. Some random person took you to the hospital? Did you lose your phone?”
He sighs, “The details are not important. It won’t happen again,” he promises.
“But what won’t happen again?”
“Your something shitty,” he says and the corners of his mouth quirk in a weak smile.
I wipe my palms on my jeans and keep my eyes focused on the wall in front of me. “I don’t know what to do,” I say and shrug my shoulders. “What were you doing? Do you even remember? I mean, you could’ve cheated on me.” I shake my head in anger.
“I said I wouldn’t cheat on you!” His voice booms, startling me, I jump.
“You are not exactly forthcoming with answers, so I don’t know what to believe,” I seethe.
“I wasn’t with a girl, Taylor! I was with Joel, my roommate! We were,” he stops, groaning in frustration.
I throw my hands up, “Please, for the love of God, finish that sentence,” I say.
“You trust me right?” He grabs my wrists, pulling me to him.
“I thought I did,” I say honestly. That’s the only answer I can give him. I thought he was capable of changing, that he had already started changing. But I was wrong. I don’t know how I still manage to be optimistic with people.
“Girls can talk to me in class and flirt with me at the bar. You name it, but I will never do anything to hurt you, I promise. You are it for me, remember that. Stupid shit like this may happen, but it’s not another girl, Taylor, it never will be.”
“Then what is it?” I manage to ask through clenched teeth.
“Something that will never come between us again,” he says. He runs his thumb across my cheek. “I don’t wanna be responsible for that frown on your face.” He kisses my lips.
“Then just freaking tell me what it is!”
“Trust me, that wouldn’t make your frown go away,” he says, and for the first time today, I actually believe something that came out of his mouth. He studies me, but I give nothing away. I fix my eyes on the wall and shift to the floor. Lea comes in the room, her eyes dart between us.
“I have homework to do, so, I will uhh… I will call you,” I say.
His brows shoot up, his eyes cut to the side. “That’s it?” He asks.
“That’s it,” I repeat.
His face falls, his hands grasps my arms. “C’mon Taylor, don’t do this!”
“Just go,” I say.
Despite the thoughts swirling in my mind, my voice remains calm. He doesn’t move. His hands clench my arms. He lowers down to be even with my height. His soft eyes plead with me and it almost works.
“Hayze, go.”
When he doesn’t move, Lea steps toward us. “Maybe you should go,” she says. His face holds a
forced smile as she studies him.
“Don’t do this,” he says.
“What…. Me? Hayze, you don’t do this! Call me when you’re ready to grow up!” I said, his chest rises with each breath. “Go,” I whisper. He unclasps my arms and storms from the room.
eleven
Two weeks fly by, before I can comprehend time, Thanksgiving hangs over my head. I clench my phone in my hand, convincing myself not to shatter it each time it chimes. I sit on the patio of my favorite coffee shop. My eyes are fixed on my book, avoiding the stares of strangers.
Things have been different. Hayze feels the need to hang around me constantly even though I tell him I need distance, but what I want to say is I need answers. I know he can’t give me either. He still hangs out with me and Lea; annoys the shit out of me at work and manages to run into me every day on campus. Some days are better than others, I can feel my walls beginning to crumbles every time he flashes his dimples, or when we’re hanging out and I catch him watching me like I’m the only one he sees. It’s hard, he makes it hard, but I think he likes it to be that way for me.
“Hey Taylor.” I look up, finding Corey standing near me. I close my book and brush my bangs from my eyes. I force a smile.
“Hi,” I say. Without invitation, he slides a chair out and takes a seat across from me.
“What subject?” He points to the book in front of me as he takes a sip of coffee.
“Biology,” I say, lifting the book from the table. I close it and prop my elbows on the table.
“I’m actually really glad I saw you. I feel like an ass for how I have acted at the bar. Forgive me?” His blue eyes are sincere.
I wave him off. “Yeah, sure, Hayze was overreacting,” I add.
“He tends to do that,” he says. My brows shoot up as I nod my head in agreement. “Is something going on between you two? That’s the talk around here.”
“We are just friends.”
His face lights with a smile. “In that case, would you like to go out sometime?”
Hazed (Hazed & Unfazed #1) Page 11