by Leen Elle
* * *
At 7 o'clock that night the nurse told me that I could go home. Jasmine wasn't there so I called her and asked her to come get me. I took a change of clothes from the suitcase that had been sitting by my bed. I didn't want to wear the clothes I had come in with, not ever again.
The ride back to my house with Jasmine was completely silent. When I got inside it felt strange being there, almost foreign. Jasmine went upstairs to her and my dad's room, leaving me alone on the couch. Minutes later someone began knocking on the door, and I reluctantly stood up to answer it.
"Hi, Nevaeh." It was Kyla.
"Oh, hi," I said, shocked to see her. She looked slightly uncomfortable. "Do you want to come in?"
"Sure," she replied. "But just for a minute." She came inside and I closed the door behind her. I returned to my spot on the couch, and she sat down beside me.
"So, what's up?" I asked.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing," she said with a weak smile.
"Oh, I'm alright. Nothing too tragic."
"Oh, but it is tragic!" she exclaimed. "It's so awful. I'm so sorry about what he did to you."
"Yeah well, I wasn't lucky enough to get one of the Cael's of the world," I replied.
She stared at me, but didn't look surprised at my comment. "You really love him, don't you?"
Her question puzzled me. "Cael is my friend," I said sadly. "He's your love, not mine."
She sighed heavily and walked to the door. "But you deserve him more than I do." She stepped outside and closed the door behind her before I even had the chance to respond. I stared at the door for what seemed like decades, trying to figure out what she meant.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I didn't want to go to school the next day. I still looked awful from all the bruises covering my body. I wasn't sure if word had gotten around about what happened to me, but I didn't want to find out.
Jasmine came downstairs that morning lugging her suitcases down the steps. I jumped up from where I'd been sitting on the couch. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm leaving," she replied calmly.
"What do you mean you're leaving?" I was beyond confusion.
"Nevaeh, I can't live this lie anymore. Your father doesn't even know who I really am. I don't know what we were thinking deciding to get married," she said.
"Well, you don't have to get married right away. He can get to know the real you first," I said, panic sweeping over me. "And what about the baby?"
"There is no baby," she said. I stared at her in confusion. "I made it up. I thought that would push us towards marriage. See what kind of person I am? When you father's heart stopped I didn't even react. You were balling your eyes out, and I didn't even feel anything. What kind of wife is that?" I didn't know what to say. "And besides, you don't even want me around anyway. Just think of all those times you screamed about how much you hated me."
"But that was before!" I cried. "You can't leave now, when I'm just starting to like you."
I could see the sadness that etched her face. "This isn't where I'm supposed to be," she said softly. "Maybe you and your dad can finally get along."
"Jasmine, what if he doesn't wake up? What if he dies? Then who will I turn to? Where will I go?"
She shook her head. "I don't know, but it wouldn't make any difference if I was here. I'm not your parent." I watched her battle and incredible urge to cry. "Your father just came back to life. It's obvious he has a lot of fight in him."
"That's all the more reason for you to stay," I said.
She picked up her bags and headed for the door. "I'm sorry, Nevaeh."
"I don't understand," I said, my voice beginning to shake.
"Neither do I." And with that, she was gone. I didn't know where she was going, but I knew she wasn't coming back. Everyone was walking right out of my life.
* * *
I went to school the next day, despite the bruises that were still faintly visible and the sling on my arm. There was a devastating loneliness at my house that I could not stand, so I forced myself to get up and go to school. I had to take the bus because I had no other way of getting there. I could feel the stares as I walked through the hall to my locker, but I kept my focus straight ahead, pretending I didn't notice. I began to enter my locker combination but jumped when I felt someone gently touch a bruise on my face.
"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just noticed your bruises."
"Well you're awfully bold, just touching strangers' faces like they somehow won't notice," I said. I did not recognize him.
"Sorry," he said again. "Must've been a hand spasm."
"Or a brain spasm," I said rolling my eyes.
He laughed. "So, could I get your name?"
"Nevaeh," I said simply. "And yours?"
"Brett."
"How come I've never seen you around before?"
"Oh, I just moved here a couple days ago. But this is the first time I've seen you."
"Yeah well," I said, pointing to my bruises and my arm to explain.
"What happened to you anyway?" he asked.
"Got beat up," I replied, as if it was no big deal. I didn't know why I was sharing so much with a complete stranger.
His eyes widened slightly. "Seriously?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I broke two ribs and my shoulder was dislocated."
He stared in disbelief. "Who did this to you?"
"Boyfriend."
"Why would you date a guy who does that to you?" he asked dumfounded.
"Oh, he's not my boyfriend anymore. I wouldn't keep dating him after that."
He sighed in relief. "Good." I studied his face. His eyes were intensely green and his hair a golden blonde. His features were strong, making him appear beyond his years, and he was built like no other junior I knew.
"How old are you?" I asked.
"Almost 18," he said. "I'm a senior. What about you?"
"Sixteen," I replied. "Junior."
"I'm sorry about your bruises," he said. "I can tell there's a pretty face behind them."
"Then pray they heal quickly."
He grinned wide. "It was nice meeting you, Nevaeh. I gotta go now. Maybe I'll see you around." I waved at him as he departed, wondering if this was some sign to let go of Cael. I didn't think too much into it. Brett seemed harmless, but then again, so had Nathan. It was hard to know who you could trust.
When I walked into homeroom all eyes turned. Cael's jaw dropped slightly, as if he was surprised to see me.
"Nevaeh, what happened to you?" Mr. Kelly asked. "Did you get beat up?" He grinned, thinking he had made a joke. I saw Cael looking at me out of the corner of my eye.
"Just an accident," I replied quickly, taking my seat next to Halley.
"God Nev, what happened?" she asked. I hesitated, wondering if I should tell her the truth.
"It's nothing," I said. "Just fell down the stairs." She looked at me suspiciously, and I wasn't quite sure if she bought my story.
She didn't question my excuse. "Well, that offer still stands about coming to my house. I mean, if you're really desperate or something."
I smiled weakly. "Thanks." I was almost afraid to leave school that day, like I would see Nathan waiting for me in his car. I stood outside the school doors as kids rushed past me, staring at the spot where Nathan had been that first time he hit me.
"He's not there, Nevaeh." The voice behind me startled me. I turned around to see Cael hovering over me. He'd read my mind.
"I keep thinking he's going to come back," I said quietly. "I'm afraid."
"He's not coming back, Nev."
"But he knows where I live," I said, fear clearly present in my voice. "And I'm all alone there."
"You have Jasmine," he said.
I turned and looked up at him. "She's gone."
His eyes widened slightly. "What do you mean?" he asked looking puzzled. "Where'd she go?"
I shook my head. "I don't know where she went. She just said this
wasn't where she was supposed to be."
"I don't get it," he said.
"I don't either," I replied. "I just know that I'm alone."
"Do you want to come to my house?" he offered.
I stared at him for a moment. I really did want to go to his house. I knew I would feel safer there. But he suddenly felt like a stranger to me, and I knew that I was chasing an impossible dream.
"No thanks," I said finally, turning my back to him and starting to walk away.
"Nevaeh!" he said with such intensity in his voice that it almost frightened me. I turned back to face him. "What do you want?"
I looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"What do you want from me?" he said loudly. "I'm trying to help you, but you keep pushing me away."
"I don't need your help," I said stubbornly.
"Then what do you need?" He stared straight into my eyes, and I could see such fire in his. I wanted to turn away, but somehow I couldn't. My eyes were locked in his gaze. I knew exactly what I needed. The words were building in my mouth, resting on my tongue. They were aching to be said. I need you.
The honk of a horn behind me broke the trans. I turned around and saw Brett sitting in his car and motioning for me to come to him. I turned back to Cael, who was still waiting for an answer.
"I need to go," I said. I could see hurt, anger, and frustration written on his face, but he said nothing. I turned and ran towards Brett's car, not once looking back. By the time I'd reached his car, Cael was already gone.
"Hey!" he said with a bright smile on his face. "Need a ride?"
"Sure," I said, jumping in his car without a second thought.
"Where to?" I gave him directions to my house, which was only about 3 miles away. When we got to my street I told him to turn right into Halley's driveway.
"This your house?" he said, looking at Halley's front door.
I nodded. "Yeah, this is my house."
Chapter Twenty-Six
I walked slowly up to the front door, making sure Brett was out of sight before knocking on Halley's door. She greeted me with a surprised smile.
"Nevaeh!" she said. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I might take you up on that offer," I said, keeping my eyes on the floor.
"Sure," she said with a smile. "Come on in." When we got inside I found Margaret washing dishes in the kitchen. She looked up when she heard me come in.
"Dear God, Nevaeh!" she screeched. "What on earth happened to you?"
"She fell down some stairs, Mom," Halley said quickly. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.
"My, my. Those must've been some rough stairs," Margaret said. "Are you going to be alright?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine, Mrs. May," I responded.
"And they don't know when he'll be coming out of the coma?" she asked, referring to my father.
I shook my head. "They don't even know if he will."
"I'm so sorry, Nevaeh. That must be tough," she said sympathetically. "You're welcome to stay here as long as you like."
I smiled at her. "Thanks a lot, Mrs. May." Halley and I turned and walked up the stairs to her room. I looked at the wall to see where mine, Maddy's, and Scott's height markers had been drawn, only to find they had been painted over. It suddenly felt as if her whole life had been erased and that I was the only one who missed her.
"Halley, I'm going to go over to my house to get some of my stuff," I told her, wanting desperately to get out of that house.
"Alright," she said. "Are you coming right back?"
"I think I'm going to take a walk," I said. "Or maybe I'll go visit my dad. I'll be back later tonight."
"Oh, okay," she replied. "Come whenever you like. I'll see you later."
I smiled and waved good bye before running down the stairs and out the door. Once I was outside I didn't stop running. I couldn't believe the pain I still felt about Maddy's death. Ever since I lost her my whole life seemed to be crashing down. I was losing everyone who was important to me, including myself. I didn't go to my house. I turned and ran down the street. I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I wanted to get away from everything.
I ran past Cael's house without even turning to look. I kept on running until I couldn't breathe. My ribs ached, my shoulder surged with pain, and my head was dizzy. I felt my body swaying and my vision going blurry. Just as my legs began to give out I felt a strong arm close around my waist.
"It's okay," he said, leading me to the front seat of his car. I sat down, trying to catch my breath. "You're alright."
I looked up at my rescuer and saw that it was Brett. My heart rose and fell at the same time. Part of me had wanted it to be Cael.
He smiled at me. "You almost took a fall," he said.
"Thanks for saving me," I replied.
"Well, I saw you running, and I didn't think it was a healthy thing to do considering your condition," he said. "So I followed you."
"My very own stalker," I said with a smile. "How convenient."
He grinned. "So why were you running?"
"I just wanted to get away," I said.
"Away from what?"
"Everything."
He stared at me for a moment. "Do you want me to take you home?"
I shook my head. "No, I don't want to go home."
"Well, do you want to go with me?" he asked.
"Go where with you?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"To my place," he said. I stood up too quickly. My head began to spin again, but all I knew was that I wanted to get away from him. I began to back away.
"No," I said, shaking my head frantically. "No." I turned and began to run again.
"Stop!" he called. "Where are you going?" He began to run after me. There was no way I could outrun him. I was already tired and dizzy, not to mention in extreme pain. He caught up to me, gently grabbing my good arm.
I turned to face him, and I could see that the fear in my eyes startled him. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said quietly. "Is that what you think?"
"I'm afraid," I said, tears forming in my eyes.
"Of me?" he asked.
"Of everyone." He pulled me to him, careful not to hurt me.
"You can't live your life in fear," he said.
"Why not?"
"Because how will you ever learn to trust anyone again?" he asked. At that moment I looked up and saw Cael standing in front of me. From the distance it almost looked like he was crying. I immediately stepped away from Brett, but the damage had already been done. This time it was him who turned and ran.
"Cael!" I screamed. But it was too late. It was far past time I realized that fate was against us.
"Who's that?" Brett asked.
I remained silent for a while, thinking carefully about the question. Who was Cael to me? I had spent practically all of my life trying to deny myself and everyone else of what I felt for Cael. But now it seemed I owed myself the truth. "My everything."
Brett looked down at me. "Well, you're letting your everything get away," he said.
"I know," I said. "I always let him get away." I just didn't know why.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I didn't go back to Halley's that night. Instead, I had Brett take me to the hospital. When I got up to the waiting room on my father's floor I saw a familiar nurse rushing towards me.
"You're Nevaeh right?" she asked me. I nodded. "I've been trying to call you! Something happened!"
Immediately panic surged through me. "What? What happened?"
A smile spread across her face. "Your father came out of the coma."
My eyes widened. "He did? When?"
"About an hour ago," she said, taking my hand. "Come and see him."
"Wait," I said. "Is he…okay?"
"Come and see for yourself." As soon as we got to the room the nurse left me to be alone with my father. There he was, sitting awake on his hospital bed in better condition than I was.
"What the hell happened to
you?" he asked when he saw me. I did not have the heart to tell him. I decided to use the same lie I already had.
"Fell down some stairs," I said. His mind seemed to be on something else, and I could see sadness in his eyes. I suddenly remembered Jasmine.
"Dad," I said. "Jasmine's-"
"Gone," he finished. He held up a piece of paper. "She left me a letter."
"Dad, I'm sorry. Really I am."
He nodded. "I know you are. Jasmine wrote that you and her were actually starting to get along."
"We were," I said. "Which should have been more reason for her to stay. I don't understand why she left."
"I do. Jasmine and I were more of a fling, not a love. I used her to try to forget everything else in my life."
"To forget me," I said quietly.
He sighed. "You're so much like your mother. It almost pains me just to look at you."