by Rose Jenster
Chapter 9
The stagecoach left early, and she slept for a while after the trip began. When she awoke, cramped and hot and still annoyed with Alec, she stared resolutely at the window at the countryside. Alec offered her a handkerchief to wipe the dust and sweat off her face and she took it with barely a word of thanks. They shared a canteen, taking sips of lukewarm water intermittently.
There were three others on the coach with them, an enormous woman and her two sons. They talked loudly for most of the ride, and the woman complained of the heat incessantly. When the coach stopped for the night and Felicity was given to understand they would be camping, she was astounded. They had changed horses twice, and she had expected them to keep going but darkness, she supposed, was a problem. Her reading did not prepare her for what she perceived to be the obstacles.
She had known the coach could not travel so far in a day but to have to spend the night outdoors? It wasn’t to be thought of. Alec suggested to the two young men that they might let the ladies sleep inside the coach for shelter while they bunked on the ground with the driver. The older woman protested loudly, saying she would not be separated from her sons because they might be beset by bandits. Alec was clearly trying not to laugh at that suggestion, but he relented.
Alec went to ask the drivers, who were hobbling the horses near the creek so they could drink, what arrangements were customary. When he returned, he conferred with the boys and then spoke with the ladies.
“We men feel you’d be safer in the coach,” he said.
“I’ll have none of it. If outlaws should attack our coach, my sons would be at risk!” she said firmly.
“If outlaws attack the coach, ma’am, I’d be greatly surprised. It’s a mail coach with passengers, and it’s unlikely to carry much of value,” Alec said reasonably, “Though if you want to camp outdoors…”
“No, I’ll thank you to leave the coach to my sons and myself,” she said haughtily.
“Felicity, do you mind sleeping on the ground?” he asked, a little exasperated with the other woman. He could see that the older woman was determined to get her way and was not reasonable.
Felicity shook her head and climbed out of the coach. She went directly to the creek and knelt to wash her hands and face, wetting his handkerchief and using it to wipe the dust from the back of her neck and behind her ears. It had been a hot and filthy ride, made worse by resentment. She straightened and went to Alec.
“Let us be friends. I would far rather sleep on the ground by a friend than in a coach with that woman. She wouldn’t be half so overheated if she would hold her tongue about it instead of complaining all the time.”
“If you have the headache, I can try to assist,” Alec offered. He was a bit relieved that Felicity's annoyance with this woman could distract her from her reactions to him.
“I know about feverfew and how to identify it. What I need is a drink of this cool water and a bit of quiet,” she assured him.
She walked a little ways along the creek, taking note of flowers, listening to birdsong, and breathing in fresh air. Felicity unfastened the row of tiny buttons at her cuffs and rolled her sleeves to the elbow, grateful for the slight breeze. When she returned, Alec had built a fire and the driver had returned from a jaunt in the woods with some quail that were now roasting on the fire. She sat back from the heat on a bedroll Alec had set out for her. He sat beside her and she offered him the cool damp handkerchief she had wrung out and he wiped his face with it.
“Thank you,” he said.
“I had not expected to sleep under the stars,” she said quietly.
“Does it discomfit you much?” Alec hoped this arrangement would not increase Felicity's annoyance or create any feelings of being homesick.
“No, I was only surprised. This whole enterprise seems like a grand adventure to me. I don’t mind it, only I’d like you to stay near. I’m a bit nervous of wildcats,” she confessed.
“I don’t believe there are many about. Have you read of them as well as snakes and scorpions? I know you've studied a lot.”
“Yes, I read a very detailed book about wildlife of Montana Territory a few months back, and now I find I regret it above half,” she said with a nervous laugh.
“But you do not fear bandits? We should be safe,” Alec said hoping to keep Felicity calm.
“Are there often bandits robbing the mail coach? Are they perhaps after someone’s correspondence or a trunk of old dresses and hats?”
“Precisely. It seems an unprofitable concern for outlaws, and if they have managed to evade the sheriffs I’d suspect them to be a deal cleverer than that. Also, the driver is armed, as they often are,” he said.
“Truly? Is it a flintlock pistol?”
“A Colt Revolver is usual,” he corrected. Felicity nodded again seeing how lacking reading compared to the actual situations encountered.
“I read about a flintlock in a rather sensational novel once,” she smiled.
“Are we friends again, then?” he asked.
“That depends on whether I am too pretty to be a friend,” Felicity said in a guarded manner.
“You certainly are, but I hold out hope just the same,” he answered and took her hand and kissed it. “I think I was a bit afraid of you last night in the field.”
“Am I so fearsome a creature?” she said with a hint of a smile.
“To a man like myself, you are as alien as the moon.”
“That hardly sounds flattering,” Felicity replied.
“I’ve fumbled it once again I meant to compare you to the moon. That’s poetic,”
“Alien isn’t poetic,” she replied.
“Very well, then. You’re not like me. You seem like a different sort of species, like the wings of butterflies in one of my professors’ lepidoptery kit,” Alec said. He was hoping the interesting comparison would be humorous.
“I’ve no wish to be pinned down and studied,” she teased.
“I cannot promise not to study you, to learn all your habits and quirks,” Alec said with a twinkle.
“I am not a subject, but a woman,” she said as he leaned in and kissed her temple lightly.
“And I am a man, not a coward,” he said, tipping her chin up and kissing her softly on the cheek.
Felicity rested her head on his shoulder, his hand stroking her hair, and she let her eyes drop shut to savor the perfect moment. The driver brought them some quail and a potato baked in the ashes to share. It was like a picnic, and she enjoyed the novelty of it. They ate with their hands, lacking any utensils, and laughed at the mess they made, bathing their hands in the creek when they finished. Alec and Felicity positioned their bedrolls near each other and slept deeply in the fresh air beneath the stars. She didn't know the last time she had such a good sleep and felt so close to her surroundings.
The rest of the journey was more companionable, and they rolled in to Fort Benton in good time. Alec ordered her trunk and hatboxes loaded and escorted her to the stable where his horses and wagon awaited. He handed her up on to the seat, and she adjusted her bonnet to keep the sun out of her eyes.
“At my home, you will share a room with Beatrice, and she will be there as chaperone. She departs in three weeks to be married. I hope by that time we will have reached an understanding and determined if we are suited to marry,” he said.
“I would have married you directly off the train in Helena, Alec,” she told him frankly. “What must happen is that you decide if you can bear with me or if you are better off alone.”
“I am not certain I would be the best of husbands,” he confessed.
“If you are kind and attentive, you will be well enough for me,” Felicity said with encouragement.
“I am much taken with my work and I fear not so attentive to others,” he replied. “But, Beatrice has helped me to be more aware of this flaw.”
“Then you will learn,” she said firmly and folded her hands in her lap.
At his homestead, Felicity saw t
he chickens and the cows, a neat simple home with a blue painted door, and geraniums growing in a coffee can by the step. She climbed down and rushed inside where Beatrice hugged her.
“I’m so happy to meet you finally. I’ve brought you something for your wedding, only help me unpack!” she enthused, ready to escape the weight of Alec’s doubts.
Once her things were unloaded, Felicity opened one of the hatboxes and took out a striking peach colored creation, a bonnet with long creamy ribbons and a delicate wreath of tiny rosebuds.
“I would have done a feather, but it would have crushed in the packing. I wanted you to have this, and you told me your wedding dress is peach so I thought this might suit you.”
“It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever had, Felicity!” Beatrice said gratefully and hugged her again, “I’ve always wanted a sister,”
“As have I. Brothers can be a sore trial at times,” Felicity confided.
As they sat on the bed, Beatrice told her of her betrothed and Felicity retrimmed Beatrice’s other two hats with ribbons and flowers she had brought along. They chatted, and Beatrice confided that she had never been kissed before.
“Truly? Then you’ve much to look forward to. I’ve been kissed in an innocent way by three different men—boys really. The first one, I wasn’t even sixteen. Then Daniel, my former fiancé. And now your brother, almost.”
“He’s almost kissed you?”
“It was just a gentle peck on my temple and then on my cheek too. Don’t seem so scandalized, Beatrice!” Felicity giggled. “It’s quite all right with me! I don’t think he’s very comfortable with me yet, though.”
“Alec’s not an affectionate person, outwardly. He does not say the right things, I suppose, those things that make a man seem charming. He does the kindest unexpected things though. I thought he didn’t care for my being engaged, for my wedding or new life at all, and then he came to me with that tablecloth and those pillowcases, and oh Felicity, you could have knocked me over with a feather! I was never so surprised in all my life. And then he insisted on having me a set of dresses made and even—being a doctor I shouldn’t have been shocked by this—he told them to make one up with a high waist and a big skirt so I might wear it as a maternity dress should we ever—should I find myself expecting—" she blushed. “I never thought it would happen, I tell you. And I’m sure I’m beyond that now, but there is always that hope and he wanted to provide even for that possibility.”
“That’s wonderful,” Felicity said, wishing her family had shown some encouragement to her about her Western trip.
“Were your brothers sad to see you go? Being the only girl must have been very special.”
“They were fighting over which one was going to have my bedroom. Tom, the eldest, will be married soon and move out, and the younger two will have their own rooms then,” Felicity explained.
“They’ll miss you, I am sure.”
“I rather doubt it. I was never too interested in them, and we were not close. I was the only girl and spent a deal of my time helping Mother sew and mend clothes, and other times I was daydreaming by myself. I suppose I was a peculiar sort of child, perhaps, and not the best playmate,” Felicity said with honesty.
“Then they’re heartless boys who never knew you well. You’ve exchanged a pair of letters with me and you made me a special hat for my wedding day. That is taking an interest in others, whether you’ve been brought up to think you are selfish or not. You had no call to make me a present, but you did it anyhow out of kindness,” Beatrice said as a fact.
“Maybe you can help me, my new sister. Alec keeps going on about how pretty I am, as if it were an obstacle to overcome, and he is using that, I think, as a way to put distance between us. As for me, I knew the minute I saw him that he was the man I would marry. He seems sincere and everything that is wonderful, but then he retreats and I can't find him anymore,” Felicity said.
“You’ll have to find a way to reach him, then. I’m not sure he knows how to love anyone really, how to be close to someone as a couple,” Beatrice said. “He never had a fine woman to point things out to him and help him cultivate himself.”
“I thank you for that. For not making an excuse that it’s just his way. I will have to find a way to reach him and show him that I’m not, I suppose, too pretty to be his wife? It’s such a strange thing to be stuck on and I feel very alone when he acts that way.”
“I think I would bet on you, if I were a betting person,” Beatrice said with a warm smile and squeezed Felicity's hand.
Chapter 10
Beatrice gave Felicity a letter the next morning, saying it was from a cousin who was sympathetic. She used few words, but had a mysterious smile, knowing it was the medicine that would help Felicity gain courage. The letter was saved for a time when kind words were needed. Beatrice went to the kitchen to give Felicity privacy to absorb the message.
Dear Felicity,
I hesitated to write you as we are but strangers yet. However, I have dreamt of you twice these last days, and I know the Lord is nudging me to give you comfort. I know your situation very closely, as I met my own husband in the same manner you have come to know Alec. I am wed to Alec and Beatrice’s cousin Luke, though I began in Albany as a seamstress and an old maid. That you are from Albany must mean something and I hope we will be able to share stories.
I believed from the moment I read Luke’s letter that he was the man I was meant to be with for the future. He agreed with the notion, but when we met, when at last I traveled West to join him, things were…there is no other word to describe it…odd between us. It comes of knowing one another so well upon paper, in ink blotted words but having never seen the face nor heard the voice of the one you have come to love. It is a strange circumstance in which to find oneself, I know.
Do not doubt him, nor doubt his affection for you. Only know that you are a stranger in his life, as you are a stranger in the frontier itself, and he must grow used to you. He kept you in his pocket and took you out to read and dream over in reveries. Now you no longer fit in his pocket, but you are a whole woman with interests and opinions and expectations. He cannot reduce you to that convenient, foldable size now. You will think me fanciful, but I suffered such doubts when faced with Luke’s seeming ambivalence. Do not despair. Be patient and wait for him. Luke always speaks highly of his character and do not let any fearful thoughts drive you away. I believe you and I will be great friends when we come to visit you after harvest.
In the meantime, have faith and pray.
I bid you have faith in the man you have come to love and have faith in your own choice. All shall be well.
With regard,
Tess
Felicity had tears in her eyes after reading this and ran to the kitchen to give Beatrice a hug. “Do you think I will get to spend time with Tess? I like her so much already. She's from Albany and how can the stars have aligned this way for no reason?”
Beatrice smiled, “You will have so much to talk about, and she had her own journey dealing with Luke which she will share with you in more detail. Luke and Alec have some similar noble traits and also flaws.”
In the days that followed, Felicity came to know Beatrice well. They told one another stories from their childhoods and began to share small jokes and giggle together like young girls. Alec was gone most of the time, calling upon his patients and one time staying overnight at a distant farm to monitor a child with an epileptic fit.
Felicity learned a great deal about keeping a house and which dishes kept well and reheated well. She planted some seeds she purchased at the mercantile to have an herb bed at one end of the garden, and she tended it faithfully. Within days, she had seen shoots sprout up through the dark soil but saw no such progress with Alec. If only there was similar movement with him!
Felicity hardly saw Alec and never without the company of his sister. Alec, when he was home, seemed remote and preoccupied, a hundred miles from the man who had embraced her on the train
platform. She missed the first few days of their time together and thought about their time drinking lemonade in Helena. Felicity watched him as he ate, read books from his shelves and sometimes wrote nice notes that she left on his pillow. She waited, each day, for him to want a long conversation. He wasn’t avoiding her exactly, he was seemingly so preoccupied that he failed to notice her need for reassurance.
After five days passed and they had exchanged fewer than twenty short conversations, Felicity approached him on his way to check a patient.
“I want to talk with you. When you have time,” she said.
“What do you need?” he asked, not unkindly. His body stiffened in anticipation of her words.
“Some time with you. I’ve become rather close with your sister in my time here, but it is not her I traveled a long distance to marry,” she said pointedly.
“I see. I’ll find some time later today,” he said with a sigh and departed.
When Alec returned, his sister handed Felicity her bonnet and shooed them out the door, shutting it behind them firmly. Alec looked at his pocket watch but put it back and affected an appearance of patience. She took her time tying the bow beneath one ear and putting on her gloves before she laid her hand on his arm.
“How are you finding Montana, Felicity?” he asked politely.
“Lonesome, Alec,” she said.
“I told you I was often away from home and exhausted by so many requiring my help,” he said.
“I am not a book or a lamp. You cannot acquire me, set me on a table and leave, ignoring me until you have leisure,” she warned.
“I told you I wasn’t certain what sort of husband I would be.”
“Not this sort. For no wife would endure it. A man who leaves money for groceries and comes back for supper on occasion is no husband at all,” she said in a tone of hurt and anger.
“I find that harsh,” Alec replied.
“I’m able enough to amuse myself with a book or my herb garden or in talking with your sister who is soon to leave, but I do not envision a life like this, long years of solitude. I cannot spend so many days looking out at the mountains and reading John Donne,” she protested.