I took a deep breath and put my hands on my hips. I stared at the horizon as visions of my mom came to me. She always loved sunsets. Nearly every evening she could be found out back, watching the sun go down.
It was things like that, that I was gonna miss the most. Little moments, nuances that no one else knew, things that truly made us family. It was in that moment that I realized no sunset would ever be the same.
I felt a tear roll down my cheek and wiped it away. The water whooshed as it rolled up the sand and I lifted my head stared into the darkening tide. Something green was bobbing in the surf and my heart suddenly grew claws and dug into my soul.
“Trevor!” I gasped.
I rushed into the water, galloping through the waves. I shouted for him, pleaded for him to still be alive.
With every step I took, the water slammed into my chest. It knocked me backward, but I lowered my head and pushed on. Once I was deep enough I dove head first and started to swim the best I knew how. Doggy paddling, I crashed through the waves, adrenaline surging in my veins like jet fuel.
“Trevor!” I yelled and swallowed a mouthful of saltwater.
My lungs burned as I coughed it up and dragged myself across the rumbling ocean. I glanced back over my shoulder as the shore vanished behind the waves. Panic started to set in, I could feel my heart echoing in my neck, but it didn’t matter. Trevor needed me.
I paddled faster and faster, kicking my legs in a fury. Then I reached out my hand and grabbed his t-shirt. Pulling him toward me, I turned him onto his back.
“Trevor! Trevor wake up!”
His eyes were closed, and his lips had begun to turn a pale shade of blue. His hair was matted to his forehead and his skin felt colder than the icy water. He looked dead and something inside of me told me he was. A fear I’d never felt before suddenly materialized and a feeling of complete emptiness overwhelmed me.
“No!” I roared.
I took a deep breath and grabbed a handful of his waterlogged shirt then dragged him behind me. With my free hand, I clawed at the water, kicking my legs like my feet had caught fire. Every muscle, every fiber of my being strained as I pulled myself against the tide. The sea had dug its hooks into us and had no plans of letting go.
Grunting and screaming I fought the will of nature. I cursed the heavens, I cursed the Gods and the ocean itself. My only thoughts were keeping Trevor alive. I couldn’t lose anyone else. No matter what it took, no matter what I had to do, I needed Trevor to live.
The water turned to an abysmal obsidian, as the sun was replaced with a moonless sky full of stars. I flailed my arm into the black tide, praying with every stroke that I’d find the shore, before the I succumbed to the murky depths that I could feel nipping at my feet.
I wanted to scream for help, but who would I call? There was nothing, but a bizarre silence in the air and an emptiness that sent shrills down my body. It was a reminder of how completely alone we were.
My arms and legs burned like my heart was pumping fire through my veins. My fingers cramped as I tightened my grip on Trevor’s shirt. Fatigue plagued my muscles and the cold water was a pool of ice.
I wasn’t a good swimmer by any measure and I wondered if I’d even make it back to shore. Every minute that passed I thought about drowning out there in the dark. I thought about the two of us fading into the deep and no one knowing what happened.
With one last surge, my feet found the sand as I barreled into the shallows and a feeling of relief rushed over me. Stumbling to stand, I grabbed Trevor under the arms and dragged him the last twenty yards until we were completely out of the water.
“Trevor! Trevor!” I yelled hysterically.
I froze with panic. Something gripped me as I stared as his lifeless body and even though I wanted to move, I couldn’t. He was dead, I knew he was dead. Trevor lay there on his back, his eyes clothes, his lips a light shade of blue. My brother was gone.
“No!” I roared.
Without another thought, I hunkered over him and pressed my palms against his chest. I’d taken CPR classes back in school and at that moment wished I’d paid more attention. My fingers shook as I ballparked his sternum, counting half a finger away and pressing down on his chest.
“Don’t die on me. Please don’t die on me,” I cried.
Placing one hand on top of the other, I leaned forward and pushed down. His chest barely moved, and I thought back how hard they made us push against the CPR dummies.
Swallowing, I leaned all my weight behind the next thrust. I could feel a little give and I pushed harder until his chest sank down and bounced back up. The sound made me grimace.
Pausing, I looked at Trevor’s face then tilted his head back. “Come on man,” I grumbled. “You can’t die.”
With a deep breath, I started again. I pushed down over and over, stopping at random intervals and blowing into his mouth. Between the swim back and the CPR I was lightheaded and dizzy, but I pressed on, pleading for Trevor to wake up.
My arms cramped and I wanted to fall into the sand beside him, but I didn’t. I kept going. Grabbing Trevor’s nose, I tried to breathe life back into him. His chest rose and fell, but there was nothing else.
After three minutes my resolve failed me. I rolled my fingers into fists and punched them into the sand.
“Goddamn it Trevor! You stubborn asshole. Get up!”
I beat my hands into his chest over and over then fell forward and started to cry. I couldn’t believe he was gone. It just didn’t make sense in my mind and the longer I cried into the sand the more I refused to believe it.
I started CPR again. With every thrust into his chest, I let out a wail of pain, pushing with all the energy I had left. But it wasn’t enough and I collapsed back into the sand and fell apart.
“No…no, no, no,” I groaned.
I wanted to die on that beach with him. I wanted it all to end. I was done fighting, done waiting for my turn to go. I couldn’t take it anymore.
Groaning, I laid back and closed my eyes. I was shivering in the sand, my body rattling into uncontrollable convulsions as exhaustion and the cool breeze wore on. There was nothing left for me to do, but lay there and die.
But then something moved. At first, I wasn’t sure I’d heard it, I froze and waited. Then I heard it again, something rustling in the sand. Wiping my face, I sat up.
Trevor’s leg kicked outward, and I gasped. Suddenly he jolted forward then turned to the side. With a bellowing gargle, he spewed the sea from his mouth then sucked in a deep breath like he’d never known air before.
Still coughing, he slowly turned and faced me. “Daniel?” he said.
CHAPTER 15
A NEW DAY
The fire crackled and popped, spreading its warmth all around the cave. I rubbed my hands together then leaned back onto my elbows.
“She’s real nice, you know?” Chloe mumbled as she stared across the flames toward Amber. “Mom would’ve liked her.”
I frowned at the sound of her name.
“Sorry. But isn’t that supposed to make it easier…talking about it?”
I smiled and ruffled her hair. “I’m the one that supposed to say that.”
It’d been six days since we’d found Chloe and six days since I’d dragged Trevor from the clutches of death. Two of the most dramatic events in my life and I still hadn’t been able to come to grips with it all.
My sister was alive. I’d said that to myself over and over and it still didn’t feel real. But with that came the realization that my parents weren’t. It was bitter sweet and every morning that I woke up I expected to find myself in my bed and realize this had all been a bad, bad nightmare, but it wasn’t.
Sometimes I could hear them. When it was quiet, and everyone was asleep, I swore I could hear them calling to me from outside. The wind and the roar of the waves crashing into the rocks tormented me with their voices. It wasn’t fair.
Trevor had taken it the worst. He was spiraling into a dark place and I did
n’t know how to bring him out of it. Most times I thought about joining him there.
After pulling him from the ocean we sat on the beach for hours that night. He was too embarrassed to go back to the cave, too embarrassed to even look me in the eyes and the story he was trying to spin, I wasn’t buying.
According to him, he’d been snagged and spit out by the wild currents that spiraled just offshore. But I knew better. I’d seen Trevor swim through worst and there was only one way the sea would ever claim him, if he let it.
“Wanna take a walk?” Amber suddenly asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What?” I mumbled as my eyes tried to focus.
She held up a flashlight. “A walk…do you want to take one?”
“It’s dark out there.”
“That’s why I have a flashlight. Besides, that’s kind of the point, you can see all kinds of stars, just up to the top of the cliff. You don’t mind do you Chloe?”
“He’s all yours,” Chloe said with a sly grin.
With a deep breath, I pushed myself to a stand and brushed off my pants. Amber reached her hand out and I grabbed it then followed her outside of the cave.
“She’s a sweetheart,” Amber said as we slowly made our way up the trail. “I’m so happy you guys found her.”
I smiled and stared out to the dark edges of the narrow path. The beam from Amber’s light faded and the sound of the waves crashing into the rocks rumbled in the shadows. The sounds had become commonplace, but in the dark, it seemed like something from a nightmare.
“You okay?” Amber asked.
“Yeah, sorry. It’s dark down there.”
She looked out to the side then grabbed my hand. “Come on.”
We walked up to the top of the cliff and stopped. Most of the bushes had been ripped up and used as firewood so there was a clear area where we decided to sit down. The cool night air blew over the top of the plateau with an eerie whistle. Amber nestled up beside and leaned her head onto my shoulder.
“How you holding up?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You know…with being here.”
“It’s actually getting kind of normal. I don’t notice it as much.”
“I guess,” I grumbled.
“Don’t get me wrong, I wanna go home. But this isn’t so bad, is it?”
“Home…”
I leaned my head back and stared up to the sky. The black canvas was covered in specks of silvery, glimmering dots. I felt like one of them, a tiny drop in the middle of an abyss with no beginning or end. It was like I was seeing the night sky for the first time and I saw myself.
Amber intertwined her fingers with mine and squeezed. “Sorry,” she said. “I know it’s different for you.”
I took a deep breath. “What do you think your parents are doing right now?”
Amber laughed. “Probably freaking out. I’m sure my mom is screaming her head off. She didn’t want me to go in the first place. The whole church group was my dad’s idea. He thought I needed a positive influence. Most of these kids are worse than me.”
“Can’t be that bad, can it?”
“Like a week before we left they had to kick four kids out of the group. They were selling anxiety medicine they stole from one of their parents.”
“Have you seen the side effects on those things? I’d rather be anxious.”
She started laugh then turned to face me. “I like you a lot.”
“I like you too,” I replied.
She leaned closer and started to kiss me. I turned to face her as I grabbed the back of her head and slowly lowered her toward the ground. I slid my hand up the side of her thigh and she giggled.
“What?” I asked defensively.
“That tickled.”
“Oh.”
I leaned back into her then froze as something moved in the trees behind us. Lifting my head, I scanned the dark in silence.
“What?” Amber asked.
“You heard that?”
“Heard what?”
The branches shook again and the leaves rattled loudly. I jumped to my feet and spun around.
“I heard that,” Amber said in a shaky voice. “What is it?”
“Hello,” I called out. “Is someone out there?”
I waited for a reply that never came.
“Hello! Who’s out there?”
“It’s just me man,” Trevor said as he emerged from the thick trees.
“What the hell are you doing out there?” I asked.
Amber’s light fell on his face and he winced. Raising his hand, he leaned away and she pointed the flashlight to the ground.
“Walking,” he replied curtly as he passed me and headed down toward the cave.
“Trevor,” I called after him. “Are you okay man?”
“I’m fine…I’m tired.”
His face was covered in dirt with streaks up and down where his tears had carved a path. He wasn’t okay and I didn’t know how to make anything better, but I could see he was hurting.
“I…I gotta get to bed anyway,” Amber started. “I told Sherry I’d help her and Reggie catch some fish tomorrow morning. You need to go talk to him.”
She gave me a kiss then grabbed my hand and walked back toward the cave. Neither of us said another word and when we made it back Trevor was standing outside, staring down into the darkness.
“I’ll see you later,” Amber said then walked inside.
I stared at Trevor for a few minutes. I didn’t know the right words to say or how to even start. He’d been distant since that night and I wanted to give him time, but he had me worried.
He wasn’t speaking to me and even worse he wasn’t speaking to Chloe. They’d always been close. Closer sometimes than he was to me, but he hadn’t said a word to her.
“Trevor,” I called out to him as I approached.
He looked up in silence then cocked his head to the side. “Just thinking.”
“We’ve gotta talk man.”
“About what?”
“About you. About this. What’s going on?”
He laughed then turned back toward the edge of the trail. “What’s going on?” he repeated. “Look around Daniel. We might as well be dead. Just like everyone else.”
“We’re still here Trevor. Chloe is still here. Mom and dad would want us to stick together, to keep Chloe safe. That’s what we have to do now.”
“Mom and dad are gone!” he screamed. “It’s your fault…it’s Chloe’s fault!”
Clenching my jaw, I glared at him. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do. You left them…you left them and now they’re dead.”
“Dad told us to leave,” I shouted defensively. “We’d all be dead if I hadn’t.”
“That’s not true. Chloe’s not dead. She should be, but she’s not. She left them just like you did.”
“Trevor,” I gasped and grabbed his shoulder.
He slapped my hand and yanked away. “Just…just leave me the hell alone,” he snapped.
Spinning around, he marched into the cave. I followed him, wincing from the brightness of the fire that crackled at the mouth.
“Trevor,” I called again, but he slinked off into the darkness.
“You two girls fighting again?” Antonio turned to me and asked.
“Fuck you egghead.”
Chloe was sitting to the side and grabbed my wrist as I passed her. I stopped and looked down as she wiped tears from her eyes with her free hand.
“Let him go,” she mumbled. “He’s right.”
“What? You heard all that?”
“Everyone heard all that,” Amber added.
“Well, he’s not right. He’s a fucking idiot Chloe. Don’t believe anything he said.”
Chloe broke down and tears poured from her eyes. She lowered her head into her hands and wailed loudly as I tried to console her.
“You don’t understand,” she shouted. “It’s all my fault! They had to come looking f
or me. I snuck out of the kid’s club. If they wouldn’t have had to come find me, we would’ve been on the lifeboat together. They would’ve never died.”
“Chloe,” I whispered trying to hold back tears. “It’s not your fault Chloe. You didn’t sink the boat…it’s not your fault.”
I knelt beside her and pulled her into my arms. She collapsed into me and broke down. I felt like I could kill Trevor and it was hard to suppress my rage, but Chloe needed me.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I repeated over and over in her ear.
I sat there and held her for hours, until we both fell asleep. The next morning came far too early. I awoke to rays of light crawling into the cave and the sounds of people rustling around.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I pried my eyes open and found Chase standing a few feet away.
“Your bother,” he replied.
“What?”
“He’s leaving.”
CHAPTER 16
DOWNWARD SPIRAL
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I snapped.
“What’s wrong with you?” Trevor growled.
He was standing near the mouth of the cave with a bag slung over his shoulder. He had a nonchalant look on his face and a long stick with a sharpened end clutched in his hand.
“First you drop your shit on Chloe and now you’re leaving?”
“I’m not leaving. I’m going exploring for a few days. And I’m over it. I don’t blame her okay?”
“That doesn’t make it better. Did you see what you did to her?”
“She’ll be fine.”
“She’s twelve Trevor! Do you have any idea what she went through? She was alone out there.”
“Well, I’m sorry okay. But I can’t stay here thinking about it. It’s driving me crazy. I’m getting out of here.”
“We need to talk about this Trevor.”
“Why? I get it now. Everyone dies. Our parents are dead and that’s just the way life goes. I get it, I really get it.”
“This isn’t the way to handle it Trevor.”
He huffed and threw his hands into the air. “You’re not dad Daniel. He’s dead remember.”
Overboard: Deconstruction Book Four (A Post-Apocalyptic Thriller) Page 13