Elizabeth looked in panic at her father, who seemed to be much too at ease around the two gentlemen, almost on the point of making a fool of himself.
“Ah,” Mr. Bennet exclaimed, “Mr. Darcy lent me these splendid books, Lizzy. There is something good coming out of this terrible visit to Town, after all.”
Elizabeth’s eyes travelled from Darcy to her father in panic, striving to control her voice.
“Books?”
“Yes, Lizzy! Books. Particularly good ones.”
Mr. Darcy turned his gaze to Elizabeth and addressed her directly, “Your father has mentioned that he had sought Andrew Mackay’s volume for a long time. I was only too glad to offer it to him as a friendly gesture.”
Elizabeth watched Mr. Darcy in disbelief. He had loaned her father some exceptional books of great value. She recognized almost immediately the second one as Mary Wollstonecraft’s Vindication of the Rights of Woman, a book that she had wanted to read herself for quite a while. Still, she did not know what to think of it. How would her father return the books? And when? Does this mean he wishes to keep the acquaintance? Elizabeth strove to give a small smile before she gave her answers.
“These are beautiful, and we are grateful for your kindness. If you approve, Mr. Darcy, I would like to read them too. I promise I shall take good care of them. I imagine you are reluctant to be separated from them and would like to have them back safely as soon as possible.”
Her gaze held his, and her hidden inquiry met his little smile.
“I am sure you will take excellent care of the books. That is why I was happy to loan them to Mr. Bennet. I rarely do that. And I would be delighted to know you read them too, Miss. Bennet. Perhaps, next time we met, you will share your opinion?”
The warmth in his blue eyes heated her face and sent cold shivers through her body.
“I look forward to it, sir…”
“Miss Bennet, I thought you would like to know. Bingley will return to Town in a few days, and I shall take the first opportunity to inform you were here. I am sure he will regret not having the chance to meet you.”
Elizabeth stopped breathing; his words, his glance, his voice, and his smile left no room for misunderstanding. He wanted her to know he would speak to Bingley about the subject that started their terrible fight a few weeks ago.
She did not trust her voice enough to speak more, but answered: “Thank you, sir; your care is greatly appreciated. I hope to still have the chance of seeing Mr. Bingley soon.”
The gentlemen’s visit lasted almost an hour. There was no mention of Mr. Bennet’s business troubles, and Elizabeth would have to wait and find out more from her father the next day during their ride back to Longbourn.
She and Darcy spoke little else to each other. Everything that needed to be said had been spoken. There were smiles, glances, and little gestures that gave more reason for hope than mere words could do.
Their hands touched two more times that day. Once, when Elizabeth offered Darcy a cup of tea, their fingers brushed against each other, burning them through the gloves; it was not the heat of the cup but of their skin, and neither hurried to withdraw from it. The second time, when Darcy and his cousin finally left, both he and the colonel took their farewell and held Elizabeth’s hand.
But only Darcy’s hand made Elizabeth quiver, and only his touch left her craving more.
***
During the journey back home, Mr. Bennet agreed with Elizabeth that he would not mention anything about their misfortune to anyone else in the family for the time being, except perhaps Jane, if needed. He still entertained hopes that things would come to a favourable conclusion in the near future, but Elizabeth knew only too well that it was just her father’s way of dealing with problems: hoping for the best. As much as she loved and respected him, she could not agree with him. She could see no reason in any of it; Mr. Bennet’s losing his wife’s trust fund, settled on her daughters—as little as it was—left the family with nothing for a long period of time, if not forever.
And the loan from Mr. Gardiner was surely a loss that affected her uncle’s financial situation. If the rumours about Mr. Bennet’s ruin spread in the neighbourhood, it would jeopardize his name and reliability in a grave manner—and would be yet another reason for suitors to run as far from them as possible. Those were worse outcomes than the loss of their dowry, which was as almost nothing anyway. Surely, Mr. Bingley—or any other gentleman of his situation or higher—never thought of Jane’s dowry, either when he started to admire her or when he departed in haste from the family.
Of her father’s discussions with Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth did not discover much in spite of her attempts to persuade her father to speak. Besides, the only help they could hope from the gentleman was supplementary information to help Mr. Bennet’s lawyer obtain a better agreement—if and when that might happen. Nobody could do more.
Their appearance at Longbourn was received with joy. Mrs. Bennet asked for a full report of the short visit in Town and was hardly content with Mr. Bennet’s ignoring and her daughter’s lack of enthusiasm. Elizabeth briefly mentioned a dinner party at the home of one of Mr. Gardiner’s business partners then shared news and gifts from the Gardiners without adding any details.
“So, you stayed a fortnight in London and have nothing to tell me,” Mrs. Bennet expressed her displeasure later that evening after dinner. “Lady Lucas always has news from Charlotte. She keeps talking about ‘Mrs. Collins’, as though she had married an earl or a duke. If only I had a wise daughter, Charlotte Lucas would still be a spinster. But that is my curse—to have five unmarried daughters. You will just see when your father dies. We shall all be thrown out of the house, and you have Lizzy to thank for that!”
“Keep a positive mind, my dear; just pray to die before I do, and you will have no reason to worry,” Mr. Bennet offered candidly while he slowly moved to the library, holding the precious books borrowed from Mr. Darcy.
“Mr. Bennet, you are just being cruel to me. And Lydia has been gone for a week now, and I have no news from her either, although she promised she would write daily. She never keeps her promises, but at least she is joyful and enjoys the parties, and I trust she will find a husband soon! Would it not be funny if she were the first of my daughters to marry? That would be quite amusing indeed!”
“Mama! Lydia is too young and especially too foolish to even consider marrying! She should not even be out yet! And surely she should not have gone to Brighton by herself!” Elizabeth spoke with a kind yet determined tone.
“Oh hush, Lizzy! You are in no position to give advice about marriages! I shall go to my room now before I lose my temper completely!”
Against her mother’s will, Elizabeth embraced her, telling her she was glad to be home. Mrs. Bennet accepted the affection reluctantly.
“I am glad you are home too, Lizzy—I suppose. I would have been even gladder if you came with a betrothed, but a mother can only hope. I suppose you did not meet that Mr. Bingley in London. He will be happy to know his estate is going to ruin! It is good Jane did not marry him after all. He is not a man to take care of his possessions…”
Mrs. Bennet left while Jane turned white, excused herself, and ran to her room. Elizabeth followed her in haste while Kitty and Mary remained by themselves, unpacking the gifts with different sorts of interest.
Inside their chambers, the sisters sat on the bed and held hands.
“Lizzy, I feel so bad for saying that, but at times I cannot help being angry with Mama. If she would just guard her words more. How can she not know how much she hurts us? And how can she not understand that she would easily banish any honourable people who might come to our house?”
Elizabeth wiped her tears and embraced her silently. There was no answer to such painful questions.
“Dear Jane, there is something I must tell you,” Elizabeth said a little while later, trying to keep a cheering voice. “You already know about the dinner at the Cramptons’, but there are some de
tails I left out…”
The eldest Miss Bennet learned of her sister’s chance encounter with Mr. Darcy and expressed her astonishment.
“Dear Lizzy, what a coincidence! Who would have expected Mr. Darcy to be acquainted with our uncle’s business partner? But I pity you. It must have been a difficult moment, especially in a strange environment. I would have lost myself completely.”
Elizabeth’s cheeks coloured. “It was awkward, I admit, but Mr. Darcy was friendlier and more amiable than ever. Both he and Colonel Fitzwilliam were pleasant company. And even more amazing, the next day Mr. Darcy called upon us! And then he invited Papa to visit him and loaned him two exquisite and rather rare books. Do you remember when we read about Mary Wollstonecraft and her Vindication of the Rights of Woman? Now we will be able to read it!”
Elizabeth’s enthusiasm met Jane’s astonishment.
“Did he? But Lizzy—that is so astounding! All this in only a few days?”
“I was as surprised as you are, my dear— “Elizabeth stopped, not knowing whether she would be able to keep the promise she had made to her father in the carriage.
“Do tell me, Lizzy, whatever you have to tell me! I am prepared for whatever tidings you are afraid to share with me. And do not tell me there is not news, for I have seen Papa. And I know you. And if you do not tell me, I shall presume only the worst.”
Elizabeth sighed, knowing she had to hide the true reason for her distress.
“Mr. Darcy told me Mr. Bingley was out of town, visiting a friend.” Elizabeth said at last. “And he indicated to me that he would inform him about my visit in Town. Dearest, I do not want you to entertain vain hopes, but I would say it is not impossible to see Mr. Bingley at Netherfield again.”
Jane blushed then turned pale.
“I thank you for telling me, Lizzy, but Mr. Bingley is not much to me now. He will remain one of the most worthy gentlemen of my acquaintance, but I have no hopes attached to him. He may do whatever he pleases. And Lizzy—I could not see Mr. Bingley running from Longbourn again, frightened by some of Mama’s schemes. I could not bear the shame again, so it would be better if he never comes near us again. His absence is easier to bear than his disdain.”
The eldest Miss Bennet was tearful and ceased speaking while her sister gently embraced her. “Oh, Lizzy, I am so sorry for what I said. I feel so distraught. I have no right to say such a thing about Mama. Forgive me, I should sleep now, please do not be upset with me…”
It was later in the night when Jane finally fell asleep, still sobbing in sorrow and self-reproach. Elizabeth caressed her hair while her own heart was heavy. To her, sleep was even less friendly than with Jane as it avoided her until dawn.
As the night met the day and the sun shyly showed her face from behind the hills, Elizabeth abandoned her bed, dressed in complete silence, and then left the house.
The breeze was chill, and the grass wet her half boots. She walked along the paths she had missed, breathing deeply the fresh air of the summer morning. The wind played in her hair, and some locks fell from their pins. Her steps took her farther from her home and closer to the places that held a piece in her heart. When she reached Oakham Mount, and she stopped and looked around. In the valley, there was Netherfield, resting silently, apparently sad and abandoned. Would it ever come to life again? Would she admire it as much if someone else leased it? Did she understand Mr. Darcy’s words well enough to hope that no stranger would be settled at Netherfield soon?
She lay on the grass, lifting her gaze to the sky; it was clear, blue, invading her soul with equal peace and excitement. Just like his eyes. Did she understand his words well enough to hope she would see them again soon? The only answer was the gentle breeze brushing her face, gently and tenderly, like a caress long imagined and never truly felt.
***
Several days after Elizabeth’s return from London, the family breakfast was disturbed by a messenger delivering a letter to Mr. Bennet.
“I was told to wait for a answer, sir and take it back to London,” the man said as he was closely scrutinized by Mrs. Bennet who was prepared to inquire more of him.
“My dear Mr. Bennet, what urgency causes such a response?”
“Do not worry, my dear!” Then he directed his gaze at Elizabeth and uttered, “Lizzy, please direct him to John and make sure he is taken care of. I am going to my library to read this letter in silence. I shall not be disturbed until I am ready,” he demanded severely, much to his wife and daughters’ astonishment.
Half an hour later, Mr. Bennet returned, handed a note to the messenger, then returned to his library with a quick glance at Elizabeth. She needed no more invitation before she followed him then locked the door behind her in silence. Her father poured himself a glass of brandy and sat on his favourite chair.
“Do not look so frightened, Lizzy. It is not bad news. Quite the contrary…”
She pulled another chair and sat to face him. “Quite the contrary? What do you mean, Papa? Please do not torture me so; I recognized Uncle Gardiner’s handwriting.”
“You are right: the letter is from him. But look what I found inside it.”
Elizabeth opened the piece of paper eagerly.
“Careful, Lizzy, you hold our future in your hands,” Mr. Bennet said, and she cast a puzzled glance at him.
The paper was from the office of Lord Brougham’s attorney, and it was a business proposal for Mr. Bennet from an undisclosed source. It offered him 95 percent of his investment in exchange for all his legal benefits. Money was to be paid immediately, and Mr. Bennet would withdraw from all future trials, abandoning the matter entirely to the new owner.
Elizabeth stared at her father, her mouth wide in astonishment.
“What does this mean, Papa?”
“Practically, my dear,” he explained,” it means that we are not going to be broke after all, at least not from this cause. Someone seems willing to cover 95 percent of my loss without any trouble on my part.”
“But…Papa…this is extraordinary! Should you not be happy? Is this not an excellent outcome? You will recover most of your investment immediately, you will not waste time and money in court trials, and you will not even have to tell Mama. Are you not content with this miracle? It seems the perfect answer to all our prayers!”
Mr. Bennet filled his glass again. “I am content, Lizzy—how could I not be? And yes, it is a miracle—the first one I have ever seen. Miracles do not happen to foolish old men. By God…”
“But who would do such a thing? To offer all this money…”
“Your uncle, who else? God only knows what he had to do to procure the money.”
“My uncle? Surely, you cannot imagine that he…?”
“Who else would do such a foolish thing, Lizzy? My brother offered it to me in London, but I said no. Supposing it was someone else—who do you think would take such a risk? If the lawsuit is ever resolved, the investment will be returned with additional penalties. But that might take years and incur countless other expenses.”
“So…what shall we do? What will you do, Papa?”
“What can I do, Lizzy? I already sent my acceptance of the proposal. I shall confront your uncle as soon as possible. If he is the one responsible for this offer, the money will remain in the family anyway. I shall not allow him to bear the risk alone. But if anyone else was foolish enough to make such a poor bargain, I cannot afford to reject it.”
Elizabeth felt a sudden sense of panic, as though she was afraid to rejoice over the happy outcome.
“So, Papa— are we safe then?”
“It seems that way, my dear. Strangely enough, fate has a peculiar way of helping those silly enough to fall into the trap of their own ignorance.”
“Papa, you are truly too harsh on yourself.”
“Not at all, my dear. I am more fortunate than I deserve. Now go back to your mother. She will soon worry and come in here, and I really want to avoid that.”
Outside the library, El
izabeth stopped in the hall and leaned against the wall. The enormous weight that had lifted left a frozen hole.
Another surprise awaited Elizabeth the following afternoon when she received a note from Charlotte Collins, who had come with her husband to visit her family. She was invited to call on them at her earliest convenience. She was eager to see her friend although her cousin not as much. The reunion was a happy one, and Elizabeth had another reason to congratulate Mrs. Collins, who was due to be a mother in the course of a few months. She also had to listen to Mr. Collins’s considerations, full of the importance that only a forthcoming father could have.
A few minutes later, Elizabeth’s joy at seeing her old time friend turned to sadness. Charlotte had become Mrs. Collins in all respects, for her discourse was much like her husband’s.
“Her ladyship has told me that she would much prefer that my first born be an heir, so we are praying to have her content. Are we not, Mr. Collins?”
Mr. Collins replied that it was true, and she continued then to speak about the good fortune the child would have to be blessed by such an important lady. In listening to them, Elizabeth realized that there was no longer a difference between Mr. and Mrs. Collins. Their manner and subject had become so similar it was as if they were speaking with the same voice. There was not a question of happiness but rather of convention and self-importance that Lady Catherine had brought upon them.
“My dear cousin, I sent your father a note informing him that we are available to dine at Longbourn the day after tomorrow. I thought it would be fair to allow Mrs. Bennet a few days to prepare the dishes that Mrs. Collins so much prefers. In her state, she cannot eat everything,” Mr. Collins declared.
“Oh yes, Lady Catherine suggested what I should eat; she is such a considerate patroness. I confess I look forward to returning to Hunsford as soon as possible,” Charlotte added while her husband kissed her hand in approval.
Meant to Be: A Pride and Prejudice Variation Page 28