by Grace White
“Like what you see, Your Grace?” he says around a smirk.
“Don’t. Call me that.”
“And what should I call you? Goddess? Queen?... Kitten?” he sneers.
“Fuck you,” I spit, fists clenched at my sides. My body trembles with pent-up emotion. He’s so confusing and hostile. I want nothing more than to kick him right where it hurts.
“But you still want me, don’t you? Even when you hate me, you still want to feel my lips on yours.”
My palm collides with his face, the crack of skin meeting skin echoing around the room. Sol’s eyes widen before narrowing into dangerous slits. “I have killed for less.” His words send a chill through me, but I step closer.
“Show some respect,” I snap. “I am your Queen.”
Queen? Did I really just say that?
“Queen?” Sol dips his head, bringing us eye-to-eye. “Then start fucking acting like it.”
It’s like an out-of-body experience. The Terra part of me floats out of my physical form, hovering above, watching in horror as her body lunges itself at Sol. He catches her, hoisting her legs around his waist and slamming them both into the wall. Fingers claw. Hips roll. Mouths fight for dominance. Sol gathers her hair in his hand, yanking her head back, revealing a creamy expanse of skin that he licks, kisses, and sucks, all while she moans his name.
What the hell is—
I’m thrust back into my body. Aware of everything. The hard bulge in Sol’s jeans pressing into my core. His big hands holding me captive while he feasts on the column of my neck. Holy cow, the guy can kiss. His tongue drags over the sensitive skin, igniting a fire in my belly so strong my legs go weak.
“Sol,” I rasp, barely able to catch my breath.
“Tell me what you need,” he says against the shell of my ear. “Tell me what you need, my Queen.”
Queen.
He called me—
“Put me down.” I scramble out of his arms and he almost throws me off him when he realizes I’m no longer in the moment.
“What the fuck, Terra? What the fuck was that?”
“I...” I run out of there and straight up to my room. His heavy footsteps sound outside the door.
“Terra, you’d better open this door right now.”
“Go away, Sol. Please just go away.” Tremors rip through me.
“Terra,” he warns, testing the door handle, but I had the foresight to lock it behind me when I burst inside.
Pulling the cushion off the bed, I drop onto the floor and hug it close. First Cael, now Sol. What is happening to me? With Cael, I’d felt a hunger. An urge to exert myself over him. To control him and watch him come undone. With Sol it was different. I responded to his challenge.
But was it me or...
Impossible.
They said it didn’t work like that.
They looked me in the eye and said Gaia couldn’t take over my mind.
My Terra-mind.
So how the hell had I hovered above Sol and myself watching as they tried to devour one another?
A loud bang startles me and I half-expect to see Sol fly through the door, but silence follows and I realize he’s gone. I rush over to the dresser and check my reflection in the mirror above it. Everything looks the same. I even feel the same now. But something did happen back there, and before with Cael.
She’s growing stronger.
Gaia.
Even though they said it wouldn’t happen like this, I feel her pushing to the surface. Fighting for control. She’s ravenous.
And she wants them.
All of them.
“KITTEN?” A SOFT KNOCK at my door jolts me from my sleepy state. “Are you awake?”
My eyes strain to see the time on the clock. Nine-thirty. I must have fallen asleep after locking myself in here. Smoothing down my hair, I pad across the room and unlock the door only to be met with Cael’s concerned gaze. “Did he—”
“It wasn’t Sol’s fault.” Not this time.
“Shit, when he texted me I almost lost it.”
“I’m fine.” I lie.
“You’re a terrible liar, Kitten. Can I come in?”
“I...” After a moment of hesitation, I step aside and say, “Sure.”
“I guess he told you about you Earhart?”
“Kind of.”
Cael’s brows pinch. “What exactly happened between the two of you? He texted and said you were pissed at him, but he didn’t say why.”
“Do I need a reason?” I deflect his question. “This is Sol we’re talking about.”
“Touché.” Cael smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his ocean-blue eyes. “But you’re okay, for real?”
“I’ll be fine.”
Suspicion is written all over his face, but he doesn’t push, and for that I’m grateful. He kicks off his sneakers and makes himself comfortable on the bed. “You know it isn’t safe to return to Earhart, right?”
“I know. Sol said I’m safe here, that the house is cloaked. But I can’t stay here forever, Cael. I’ll go crazy.”
“It’s not forever; it’s just until we get a handle on whatever the hell is happening on campus. I swear to you, Terra, we just want you safe.”
“And then what?”
“What do you mean?”
“Once you have a handle on things at Atchison, then what happens?”
Cael’s brows furrow as he considers my words until a slow smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Then we figure out who or what the threat is, and we end it.”
“It’s that simple, huh?” Because something tells me nothing about this is simple. If it was, Gaia wouldn’t have gone to these lengths to fall from Elysia. Whatever is coming is unprecedented, and whether the guys want to accept it or not, Gaia is the key.
Cael moves off the bed and stalks toward me, taking my hands in his. “You think we don’t know that?” he whispers. “You think we don’t know that Gaia knew something we didn’t? We all know the risk she took falling. But protecting her, protecting Earth, is still our duty. We can’t just step aside, Kitten. We won’t.”
“I need to unlock the rest of my... her memories,” I correct myself.
“Terra...”
“No, Cael. I know there’s something you’re not telling me. I know there’s a way for me to do it. You need to let me do this. If it could help us, I need to do it.”
“You’re not ready. That kind of information overload could short-circuit your brain.”
“I’m ready,” I say defiantly.
“Kitten, come on...”
“What other choice do we have? This thing has us running blind. You thought you had a trace on it and look how that turned out. It’s playing with us.”
He releases my hand, dragging it over his face. “He’s right, you know?”
Okay. Not what I expected.
“Who?”
“Sol. He keeps telling us you’re stronger than we give you credit for.”
I snort, unable to believe Sol Ericson said any such thing. But then I remember his words earlier when he told me to start acting like a Queen.
His Queen.
“So,” I lift my chin looking Cael dead in the eye, ignoring the flicker of surprise as he catches my thoughts. “What do you think?”
“I think I need to talk to the guys first. If we decide to do this, Terra, you have to understand things could—”
“Things could go to shit?”
Laughter rumbles in his chest. “I fear we have corrupted you, Terra Materson.” He kisses the end of my nose, his mouth lingering dangerously close to the corner of my mouth. It would be so easy to kiss him, and I want to. I want to forget about all of the bad stuff circling us and just feel. But my bedroom door flies open and Endo rushes in. “I got board games.”
He glances between us. “What’s going on?”
“Sol,” we both say in unison and Endo smirks.
“Enough said. Now who wants to play?” he flicks his head to the pile of boxes i
n his arms. “I have Monopoly, Ludo, and Scrabble.”
“Not Scrabble again, dude.”
“What?” Endo shrugs. “I can’t help it if I’m a walking, talking, dictionary. Terra, you play?”
Just when I think things couldn’t get any weirder.
“Sure, I’ll play.” I move around him to the door. “And then the two of you can fill me in on how we unlock the rest of Gaia’s memories.”
Endo’s mouth falls open and Cael sucks in a harsh breath. I walk out of there with a smile on my face.
6.
By Wednesday, I feel stir crazy. The guys minus Sol come and go between classes. Because while it’s deemed unsafe for me to be on campus, apparently it’s completely safe for them.
Yeah right.
My professors and friends think I’m out of State attending to a family emergency. Amalia continues to text me, and I continue to lie. I’m becoming a master at it. When Cael asks me how I am, or when Endo asks if I want to play Scrabble. When Ross looks at me with those tortured eyes of his, silently asking me if I need anything.
I lie to them all.
Because I am not fine.
But I am learning to block my thoughts.
After Endo found me and Cael in my room Sunday night, we’d gone into the living room and played three games of Scrabble. As I insisted, afterward they told me how I might be able to unlock Gaia’s memories. A ‘shortcut’ Cael had called it. Instead of slowly letting them return through my dreams, they thought this way would be like ripping off an adhesive bandage. Painful at first, but then after a little while the hurt would stop until there was nothing but a lingering sting. At least, that was the best-case scenario. The worst case was I would be unable to withstand the influx of memories and my brain would explode.
But I wasn’t thinking about that.
“Terra?”
“In here,” I call, slipping a bookmark into place and closing the book. Placing it on the table beside me just in time to see Cael and... “Violet.” I say. “This is a surprise.”
She offers me a meek smile. “Thought you could use some supplies.” There’s a grocery bag hanging from her hand. “And some girl company.”
“Yes,” I shriek a little too enthusiastically. “I really could.”
“Hey,” Cael protests. “We are not that bad.”
I level him with a hard look that has Violet bursting with laughter. “You can leave now, I’ve got this,” she directs at Cael who pouts.
“Kitten...” He’s giving me the choice, but I don’t need to think twice.
“We’ll be fine. Thank you.” I hold his gaze for a second before moving to Violet and taking the bag from her. “Come on, I’ll put these away and then I can give you the grand tour.”
I usher Violet from the living room and we go up to my room.
“Nice,” she says as we step inside. “Are these...” Her eyes drink in the sketches on the wall.
“Ross sketched them.”
“He did? Impressive. It seems like they’ve thought of everything.”
“I’d rather not be here, trust me.” I give her a pointed look as I start to unpack the supplies she came with. “Thanks for these.” The guys have made sure I don’t want for anything, but there are some things only a girl understands. Like deodorant and feminine products.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t judging.”
“No apology necessary. I’m just glad you’re here. I love them... I mean like, I like the guys, but if Endo makes me play scrabble one more time, I will lose my shit.”
Her eyes widen, and she lets out a soft laugh. “You’re different.”
“I am?”
“It’s your aura. It’s... never mind.”
“Violet,” I push because I need this. I need someone to be frank with me. God only knows I can’t rely on the guys for that.
“You feel her, don’t you?” Violet perches on the end of my bed and I pause.
“She’s getting stronger.”
“Stronger how?”
“I...” the words lodge in my throat. “She’s... hungry.”
“Hungry?”
“Sexually.”
“Oh.” Violets frowns. “I, hmm, I’m not sure what to say to that.”
“Does it sound normal to you? I mean, the guys make her out to be some untouchable Queen. I didn’t get the impression they were... intimate with her.”
“That’s because they weren’t. They are Gaia’s Chosen, not her lovers.”
Sinking into the desk chair, I let out a weary sigh. “But I—”
“You feel something for all of them.”
“I do.” It’s the first time I’ve admitted it out loud, but I find no judgment in Violet’s eyes.
“And they feel the same about you.”
“I’m not sure about that.” Ross constantly pushes me away and Sol avoids me like a plague.
“Terra, you can talk to me about this, it’s okay. I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to serve.”
“Violet, please don’t say that. I’d like to think of us as friends, nothing more.” Anything else is simply too strange to comprehend. Even if she did witness me light up like a glow worm, then dropped to her knees with a look of awe in her eyes.
“Friends, sure.” She gives me a tight smile and I realize this is just as strange for her as it is me.
“There’s something,” I pause. “Between me and all of them. I feel it, and I know they do too. Sol is resistant, as is Ross.”
“And Endo and Cael?” Her face pales at the mention of his name and I can’t say I blame her.
“This is too weird. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Terra, it’s fine. Did I feel something for Cael, yes? But I knew he was never mine to want. Those four guys have been yours for an age and then some.”
My brows pinch. “Wait, I thought you just said...”
“The Chosen pledged their existences to Gaia. To protect Earth... for Gaia. That kind of bond runs deep. Just because they couldn’t love her up close doesn’t mean they didn’t love her from afar.”
“But that’s just it, I’m not Gaia.”
“No, you’re human. You have the luxury of acting, thinking, and feeling, without the shackles of duty. They knew when Gaia fell to be reborn mortal it would change everything. You’re everything they’ve ever wanted and couldn’t have, Terra.”
Wow.
I don’t know what to say to that.
When I choke over my reply, Violet offers me a warm smile. It looks good on her usual deadpan expression. “I know it’s overwhelming. What girl wouldn’t be overwhelmed by four hot-blooded males vying for her attention? But in their own way, those guys love you, Terra. You.”
My gaze drops as heat floods my cheeks. Cael’s already said the words but the idea that they all feel the same, it's almost too much to bear.
“Sorry,” Violet whispers. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”
“I’m scared,” I confess, my eyes sliding back to hers. “I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“Which is why you need to hone your powers. You’re practicing still?” I nod. “Good, that’s good. Now I have clearance,” she says around a smirk. “I’ll be able to come by and we can work on stuff together. If you’d like that?”
“I’d love that.” I smile, feeling the most at ease I’ve felt in a while. Me and Violet might not have gotten off on the right foot, but I’d like to think of her as a friend now. God only knows I need them.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” she nods. “Anything.”
“Has Cael told you I want to unlock the rest of Gaia’s memories?”
“He has.”
“And what do you think?”
“Honestly, Terra, I think it’s a risk. You’re strong, yes, but you’re still coming into your powers. If you open that floodgate there might be no stopping it.”
I consider her words. Cael and Endo said something similar, except they made
it sound much worse. Then an idea hits me. “You did something. When we called the quarters and you used me to channel the elements, you unlocked something.”
“I did.” She inclines her head. “What are you thinking?”
“Can’t we do something like that again?”
“It was a one-time kind of deal, Terra. A spell like that has an expiration date.”
“Okay, but what if the guys channel their power into me at the same time? Maybe it’ll act as a power boost. Enough to unlock more memories but not enough to fry my system.”
Violet’s eyes narrow, and I can see the cogs turning. “It might just work.”
“Really?”
Her mouth curves into a rare smile. “Really. But it’d have to be with all of them at the auditorium. It’s the only space protected enough to contain that kind of power.”
Crap.
They’d never go for it. Especially not with me on house arrest.
“The auditorium is the only option?”
Violet averts her eyes. Only for a second, but it’s enough for me to press the matter. “Violet, what is it?”
“There is another way, but it’ll take time and I’ll need your help.”
A potent mix of excitement and apprehension zips through me. If there’s even a small chance of unlocking Gaia’s memories without short circuiting my brain, I’ll take it. Getting all four of the guys on board might take time, but I’ll deal with that hurdle when it comes. Lowering my voice, I look Violet dead in the eye and say, “Tell me what to do.”
She stayed the whole afternoon. We talked through the steps to creating a new protection circle here at the house. It had to be a space big enough to hold all five of us, which left only the living room, but I doubted the guys would appreciate me drawing a giant pentagram on the floor. So we decided outside would be the best option. I could work on the incantations Violet wrote down for me, and she would collect the other supplies we needed. Quarter candles, smudge sticks, a few other herbs and magical items. Not that they would take too long for her to gather up. She also explained that because the guys weren’t actually witches but ancient elemental protectors, the spell might have unexpected side effects. What, she couldn’t be sure. But it was a risk I was willing to take.