by Grace White
“I won’t apologize. I’m sorry you feel I betrayed your trust, but I’m not sorry I did it. Your feelings for me blind you.”
“She’s right,” Sol says flatly, and I gawk at him. I did not see that coming. “Our feelings for her cloud our ability to do our job properly. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?” Cael asks.
Sol looks back at me and smiles sadly. “It doesn’t matter because she’s stronger than the four of us put together now.”
“I’m not sure that’s...” I stop myself, feeling the stir of something deep in my soul. He’s right.
Sol’s right.
I am stronger. The threads of energy I once felt between each of them are deep roots now. I can easily distinguish between them as they swirl together in my blood with my own energy.
“You feel it, don’t you?” Sol asks, and I nod. “The spell didn’t just unlock Gaia’s memories, Terra. It changed you.” He doesn’t look pleased about it and my stomach sinks.
“Changed her, changed her how?”
Sol rubs his jaw, his eyes never once leaving mine. “I’m not entirely sure, but I’m guessing she’s absorbed all of our abilities now.”
“All of them?” Endo sounds dumbfounded.
“I- I don’t know. I feel different.”
“Can you feel her?” Sol turns to his brothers.
Ross shakes his head.
“Cael?”
“I- no, you’re right. I feel something but it’s not Terra.”
“W- what?” I gasp. What do they mean? I’m still Terra. I’m still me. With the same body, the same memories.
“Kitten, don’t panic.”
“But...” My body trembles furiously. “What’s hap—”
“Kitten, listen to me.” Cael approaches the bed slowly with his palms outstretched. “Everything is fine, you just need to calm down.”
I raise a hand to tell him not to come any nearer, but my eyes grow to saucers when I see what they’re all witnessing. I’m glowing.
“Guys what—”
“The transference is complete,” someone says, but I’m unable to tear my eyes away from my hands. I’m luminescent. My fingers pass through the glow radiating from me with ease.
“This is... how do I turn it off?”
“You need to get a hold on your emotions. Try deep breathing, cleansing your thoughts.” Cael instructs, and I begin to inhale and exhale in deep, even breaths.
“It’s not working.” I grimace.
“You’re upset about something. You need to let it go.”
“You think?” I hiss. “You just told me I’m changed, and you can no longer feel me. What the hell does that—” The glow expands around me pushing further into the air.
“Terra, focus.” Sol’s voice grounds me and my eyes slide to his. “You can control this. Now focus on the negative thoughts and dispel them.”
My eyes flicker closed as I go into myself. Being different isn’t anything new. I’ve never been normal. And so what if they can’t sense me anymore? Does it really matter given that I can communicate with them telepathically now? I’m still Terra. I’m still Terra Materson.
Nothing will ever change that.
“That’s it, Kitten. Let it go.” Cael’s soothing voice washes over me and when I finally open my eyes, the four of them are staring at me awestricken.
“Hi,” I say.
“You did it, Glow.”
“You’re never going to stop calling me that now, are you?” I ask Endo and he winks. Sucking in a harsh breath, I turn to Sol. “Gaia’s no longer inside me, is she?”
He shakes his head. “Do you understand what that means?”
I nod. “I am Gaia. And she is me.”
Fire
He stared at her. His Terra. His Queen.
By the gods he’d been furious when Sol woke him up and announced Terra had fled with the witch. Of course, they knew where she was headed. Even though Terra had protected her plan from Cael and Sol somehow, there was only place she would be going. The ride back to campus had been interesting. Sol had almost smashed the car to smithereens. He was furious, anger shooting out of him like daggers. It was their duty to protect her. To keep her safe. Not to let her go storming into the middle of... well, a storm.
But Terra was more cunning than they gave her credit for. She hadn’t just fled. She’d baited them. And in the end, she had left them with no choice but to acquiesce. For Terra was right. Their feelings for her blinded them. She’d proved them wrong though. Over and over, she’d proved herself to be strong in the face of adversity. And now she stood before them, not Terra Materson, the nineteen-year-old girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders, but a queen with the power to end the threat to Earth.
Gaia, as they knew her, was gone. Something they would all have to come to terms with. But in her place a new queen was born.
And oh how he couldn’t wait to see her rule.
16.
The guys are avoiding me. After waking to their angry faces, we talked and argued and talked some more, and then, one by one, they left. Sol’s revelation that Gaia’s spirit had completely transferred to me had stunned them. I guess they didn’t anticipate that happening. Or maybe they never gave it much thought. But he was right; she was gone. From their avoidance tactics, they seemed to be having a hard time coming to terms with that. If what they say is true and they can no longer feel me, so is Terra. Left in their place is a new version of myself, and even though I’m not entirely sure how to access them yet, I feel Gaia’s memories swirling in the recesses of my mind.
When I finally leave my room, the house is quiet. It’s strange to be alone when I’ve spent my days here feeling so stifled and overwhelmed. I help myself to a soda from the refrigerator and some leftover brownies. I’m halfway through the sugary goodness when I hear someone shuffling around upstairs. It makes sense they didn’t all leave, but it hurts knowing whoever is in the house doesn’t want to see me. Refusing to be deterred, I clean up my plate and make my way upstairs.
“Where is everyone?” I poke my head in Cael’s room, surprised to see him studying. When he stares at me but doesn’t reply, I add, “Do you miss it?” Flicking my gaze to the textbook, I hope he might talk to me about something safe like school.
He gives me a weak smile. “Not really. I know graduation isn’t in my future, but it became a habit, you know?” He closes the book and spins on the desk chair to face me. “What’s up?”
“You really have to ask me that?”
“Terra, I—”
“You called me Terra.” My chest tightens. “You never call me Terra.”
“I—” His head drops and my stomach sinks.
“You can’t even look at me.”
Tears burn the backs of my eyes, but I refuse to cry. I made this decision knowing it could change everything. Guess I just didn’t think things would be like this.
“I know I did a horrible thing, Cael. I know I didn’t give you a choice. But this is bigger than us. Surely you see that?”
He drags a hand through his hair, clutching the back of his neck but he still doesn’t look at me.
“I didn’t know she would... that I would... well, I didn’t know the spell would merge us.” Although that’s not entirely what happened. Gaia is gone. She relinquished herself to me.
But part of me thinks this was how it was always supposed to be.
Cael’s head snaps up. “You think this is about Gaia?”
“Isn’t it?” They have loved her for an age. Longer than I can comprehend. And now she’s gone.
“Terra it’s not...” he trails off, staring at nothing again.
“I’ll leave you alone.” Because having him look at me like that, calling me Terra instead of Kitten, I’m not sure my heart can take it. Even if it beats stronger than ever before.
I move to the door, but his voice stops me. “Wait.”
“Yes?” I glance back.
<
br /> “You could’ve died.” His words linger between us and I inhale a shaky breath.
“But I didn’t.” I’m right here, I silently say, pushing the thoughts outward.
“Do it again,” he says.
Call me Kitten first.
“Kitten.” Cael stands up, his eyes locked on mine. “Again.”
What do you want me to say?
“Anything. Tell me your shoe size. Your favorite place. Tell me why I shouldn’t hate you for what you put us through?”
My eyes widen at the venom is his words. Cael isn’t mean. That role is reserved for Sol. But he’s hurting, and when people hurt they do and say crazy things.
Seven.
My grandmother’s farm.
Because you love me.
He swallows hard, and I know he heard every word.
I do, you know. The words fill my head. I love you so fucking much I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.
Cael moves toward me, reaching for me, pulling me into his arms. His lips find mine in a gentle caress. “I’m so angry with you right now, Kitten. I don’t know whether to kiss the shit out of you or spank you.”
Oh my.
Color explodes in my cheeks as I try to duck my head to break his intense gaze. But Cael’s fingers glide under my jaw tilting my face to his. “By the gods, that color looks good on you.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “I’m sorry for avoiding you today. I just needed some time.”
“And the others?”
“Will come around. You really gave us a fright.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I never meant to hurt them. But I didn’t know what else to do. My fingers twist into his t-shirt, a torrent of emotion sweeping over me. “Cael, I need—”
“What?” He dips his eyes to mine. “What do you need?”
I close my eyes and show him. His breath hitches as I push the images of the two of us into him. “Wait until Endo finds out about this,” he murmurs, clearly surprised at my new party trick.
“Until Endo finds out about what?”
I peek over my shoulder to find him standing in the doorjamb watching us, his eyes guarded. “I see all’s forgiven?” His words aren’t for me and I press my lips together letting him and Cael have their moment.
No words are spoken but I know they’re communicating. I thought I might be able to overhear their thoughts but perhaps it’s a one-way line of communication. Or maybe I just need more practice.
“You’ve been holding out on me,” I say as he steps into the room, closing the door behind him. I’ve asked him over and over to reveal his psychic ability to me, but he’s always refused.
“I was waiting for the right moment.” His eyes narrow and images flood my mind. Him touching me, kissing me. At first, I think he’s showing me his memories of our stolen moments together but then I realize these aren’t memories... they’re fantasies. My stomach clenches as heat pools there.
“I’m so pissed at you, Terra.” He says one thing, but his eyes say another. “But all I can think about right now is kissing you.”
Cael relaxes his grasp on me, giving me the choice. My heart thrums against my chest so hard I feel lightheaded. The three of us have reached a turning point. I see it on both their faces, I feel it in my heart. Sol is solitary. He’s made his feelings about me and the four of us perfectly clear. He accepts it, but he isn’t fully prepared to embrace it. Ross is still guarded, keeping me at arm’s length. But Cael and Endo are different. Maybe it’s the elements they harness: fire and air. The natural affinity between the two of them. One thing’s for sure, our relationship has been building up to this point. I’ve just been too shy, too insecure, to acknowledge it.
Until now.
“Your thoughts are moving into dangerous territory right now, Kitten.” Cael warns from behind me. His hand hovers on my hip and he tugs me flush against his chest, sweeping the hair from my neck. I shudder as his lips connect with the skin there. But I don’t take my eyes off Endo as his pupils dilate, a firestorm burning in his irises. He takes another step forward, swallowing hard as Cael continues to pepper my neck with kisses.
“That is so hot,” he breathes, and I feel Cael smirk against me. His fingers begin to travel up my stomach, stroking and searching.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I’m sorry, I hurt you, I add, mentally pushing the thoughts out to Endo. He rubs his jaw, unable to take his eyes off me, off Cael kissing me.
“Vasilissa, what are we going to do with you?” He draws closer still. “It’s our job to protect you. To keep you safe. To bear the burden of war so you don’t have to.”
Cael picks his head up and says, “I tried telling her that. She didn’t listen.” I nudge my elbow into his stomach and he grunts in pain.
Endo grins. “So strong, Vasilissa.” He reaches for me, sliding his palm along my jaw. Shivers roll through me. But he’s hesitant. I don’t just see it in his expression, I feel it.
“I think I always knew it would be like this.” I say, surprising them both. Cael’s silent behind me, his ragged breath hitting my shoulder.
“Like what, Vasilissa?” Endo asks, even though I'm aware he knows exactly what I mean. “I want to hear you say the words.”
“Me. You. Cael. The three of us together.”
He sucks in a harsh breath, exhaling through gritted teeth. “By the gods,” he murmurs.
“I’m not glass. I won’t shatter. Touch me, Endo.” I take his hand, the one still resting on my palm, and slide it down the column of my neck to my breast. He swallows, but I give him a little nod of encouragement.
The second Endo touches me, my head falls back on a soft moan and Cael takes advantage, licking a path from my collarbone, along my jaw, and up to the shell of my ear. They work in easy synchronicity. One touching. The other kissing. And then everything changes. Cael slides down the straps of my tank pushing it down over my breast. Endo dips his head sucking the peak into his mouth and my whole body convulses, overwhelmed by the feel of both of them touching me, exploring my body.
“By the gods, Vasilissa,” he mumbles against my soft flesh.
“Do you trust us?” Cael whispers and all I can do is nod.
Something passes between them and Endo gives his friend a little nod before releasing me. He steps aside, letting Cael guide me to the bed. He slips his hands to the hem of my tank and silently asks my permission.
Yes, I reply.
His hands move to the waistband of my shorts and I nod. Wiggling out of them as he peels them over my hips. “Lie down, Kitten.”
I do as he asks, my heart beating so hard I can barely breathe. The sheets feel soft against my sensitive skin, but it’s nothing compared to the furious beating of wings in my stomach when Cael yanks his t-shirt over his head revealing his smooth toned chest. Endo quickly follows, and my mouth dries at the sight of them both. But as they stalk around the bed, one moving to my left, the other to my right, my mouth dries for a completely different reason.
“Kitten, you’re trembling.”
“I’m nervous.”
“We’ll take care of you, Vasilissa. If it gets too much for you, all you have to do is say the word and we’ll stop.” Endo lies beside me on his side and I can’t resist reaching for him, trailing my finger up and down his washboard abs. He shudders underneath my touch and it ignites a fire in my belly. I want this.
And I want this with both of them.
I feel Cael move behind me, his body mirroring mine. “We’ll take this slow, Kitten. At your pace, okay?”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. But the second Cael starts sucking and nibbling the skin along my shoulder, all of my worries drift away. Endo buries his hand in my hair and crushes his lips to mine, stealing the last shred of thought from my mind. His tongue swirls with my own, deep and unhurried, slow and sure. He kisses me like I’m a meal to be savored while Cael’s hands glide down my waist and over my hip, sliding to the edge of my panties. I press against his hand needing
more and he answers, slipping his fingers into the damp material.
“Oh God,” I pant between Endo’s kisses.
“We’ve got you, Vasilissa. If you fall, we’ll catch you.”
Cael’s fingers stroke me, rubbing the tight bundle of nerves before one dips inside me. I arch off the bed, crying out with relief. Endo’s hands find their way to my breasts kneading and touching. And again, the two of them find a pace which has me crashing toward the edge before I know what’s happening. My body coils so tight I think I might explode.
“Let go, Kitten,” Cael whispers against my neck and I shatter, crying out their names over and over.
When I peek my eyes open, Endo is watching me, a mischievous smirk on his face. “Don’t even think about falling to sleep yet.”
“No?” I ask around a coy smile.
“No, Vasilissa. We’re only just getting started.”
Oh my.
17.
I wake caged between two warm bodies. My nose is pressed into Endo’s shoulder, and Cael’s arm is slung over my waist, his fingers splayed on my stomach. Our legs are tangled together, the bed sheets strewn around our bodies. A small smile plays on my lips as I listen to their soft snores. Something else they seem to be in sync with.
“Now this, this I could get used to.” Cael yawns, his arm dragging me closer to his hard, lean, and very naked body. He presses a kiss to my shoulder and a delicious shiver rolls up my spine. “Good morning, Kitten.”
“Good morning,” I reply as my fingers trace the tattoo covering Endo’s shoulder.
How are you feeling? Cael silently asks me.
Good. I feel good.
And last night? You’re—
I’m more than fine with what happened last night.
That’s good, Kitten. That’s really good.
“Will the two of you please keep it down, I’m trying to sleep over here,” Endo grumbles and I bite back the urge to laugh.
“Hmm, Endo, man, we’re not talking.”
“You’re in my head and you’re too fucking loud.”