The small incline of his head made me sigh as I let my head fall back against the pillow. The ceiling was white, just like the one at the hospital. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to think of better things. Tried to get the image of myself as a child out of my head.
“When I came away from the fighting in our coven, I suffered with PTSD. Post-traumatic stress disorder often stays with us for the rest of our lives. It starts out as Post Traumatic Stress and develops into a disorder if it’s left untreated. I don’t want that for you, Devon. I… I can help you.”
It wasn’t like Kurt to beat around the bush. He was always to the point. Which meant his point wasn’t something that could be taken lightly. Or even seriously. It was way worse.
“How did you cope? What made you suffer with it in the first place?”
Speaking to someone who had suffered with what I was about to go through made me feel better. If I knew that he could get through it, it meant that I could, too.
Kurt crossed his leg at the knee, resting his hands on his thighs. “The day the fighting broke out, I had been experimenting on magical beasts. A few of the other witches had wanted their familiars to stand out from the rest. Call it an ego thing. They’d seen how powerful my horse was, so they’d asked me to help them with theirs.”
He’d had a horse familiar? That was insane. Witches rarely had familiars bigger than themselves, it just wasn’t the way we worked.
“The leaders of our coven were one of each race. So, a vampire and a witch. That day, I cast a powerful fighting spell on the witch coven leader’s fox. Little did I know, the vampire leader would play a trick on the fox, just to wind the witch up. There’d been tension between them for a while. Especially since I’d been practicing such powerful magic.”
Staring at him was hurting my eyes, so I closed them as I listened. “Please, go on,” I said, just to make sure that he knew I wasn’t sleeping.
The sigh that came from him was audible. “When the vampire attempted to trap the fox in a barn, the fox attacked, almost killing the vampire. I hadn’t meant to give him such power. Of course, it drove a huge wedge in the coven. The vampires believed that we were trying to get rid of them by turning our familiars into beasts who would attack.”
“Oh wow. That’s a bit of a broad accusation,” I muttered, my whole attention on my boss.
“Exactly. However, the vampires were easily led. They gathered in a mob and started to attack.”
Shaking my head against the soft pillow, I cringed. “Were you hurt?”
“They didn’t attack us, Devon. They drank the blood of every single familiar in the encampment. And, they made us watch. My horse… he was last. They made a show of it, as you can imagine. To try and force us into co-existing.”
My eyes shot open, tears instantly popping into them. No. How could they kill all those animals? The lump in my throat expanded as I saw the tears that were coating Kurt’s brown eyes. No wonder he suffered from PTSD. I wouldn’t survive without Kingsley, let alone watching tons of vampires feed off him.
“I need to see Kingsley,” I whispered, wanting to comfort him, but needing my own intended familiar.
Taking a deep breath, Kurt blinked. “In a moment. Devon, that was when I ran away. The witches wouldn’t back down like the vampires wanted. In fact, the vampires tried to turn them against me because I was the one who had given the familiars more power.”
“That’s when you ran away to protect them all.”
He gazed off into the distance, obviously remembering that time. “I lost it in those next few months. I couldn’t function without Artimas, my horse. Seeing the way he was slaughtered, it changed me. Other species don’t understand the bond between familiar and witch. They think we’re using animals, but as you know, they’re our family. They’re almost our own blood.”
If he kept on, I would be weeping again. No wonder he sank into the pits of darkness. I would too.
“I eventually tried to move on, but I couldn’t. In the end, I did the only thing I could.”
“What?” My attention was riveted now.
I hadn’t been through the same as Kurt, but I knew in the days to come, my mind would be unsettled. I had been tied up and forced to watch something continuously for days. No food. No water. And yes, my bodily functions had still gone on as normal. Which was why I was so grateful that someone had cleaned me up when I hadn’t even been aware of anyone in the room. I would have to ask Justina who had done that.
“I cleaned the memory away. Completely got rid of it.”
My mouth hung open as he glanced at me. His face was devoid of emotion now. Wait. If he’d done that, how…?
“I wrote everything down in a journal, so I wouldn’t forget why the coven had split up, but the actual image of my horse, that’s gone. I don’t even remember what he looked like.”
My stomach flipped as my chest compressed. He’d erased his memory of one of the most beloved things in his life? Wow, that was extreme.
“If you’re suffering, Devon, I will help you. What you’ve just been through? That’s not something you need to remember.”
Leaning across, he took my hand and just held it for a moment. I watched him, unable to speak, unable to express the pain that resounded through me. He had loved that horse so much, he couldn’t bear to know what had happened to him.
“I’ll go and get Lilia to bring Kingsley in.”
Smiling my thanks, I tried to sit up further as he left. My world had fallen apart in a way I had never imagined, and yet, as the reluctant, yet worried, faces of my parents and Lilia stormed through the doors, I knew that I would get through it.
“Kingsley,” I breathed, the tears coming, yet again, when Lilia placed him in my hand.
I instantly brought him to my face. He kissed me, his little nose poking my cheek. The squeaks were louder and more frequent than I’d ever heard. My little pal was safe. And, so was I.
Chapter Five
“Is this my therapy session?” I asked Justina as I followed her past the supernatural prison guard.
Shrugging, Justina glanced over her shoulder and grinned. “You insisted on getting back to work. I decided to let you. As long as you’re my partner for now.”
Gerard had protested when Justina had instructed that I work with her for the time being. I’d been having nightmares for the week since I’d been home. They hadn’t allowed me to go back to my apartment. In fact, I’d had the plushest room at the agency, right next to my parent’s room.
“When we spoke yesterday, you said that we would be starting therapy soon.”
My whining was allowed. I’d sat around playing with Kingsley, talking to my parents, and eating for the past week. I was bored.
“Every time I’ve spoken to you, it’s been therapy. What’s bothering you?”
We came to a stop outside the interrogation room. Lucia was inside. I’d hoped that coming back into the field would help me feel safe.
My hands were shaking as I waited for Justina to let us in. She didn’t. Instead, she watched me, waiting for my answer.
“It’s these dreams, I can’t shake them. The bit about the tree is playing in my mind continuously. And, when I’ve asked my parents about it, they’ve refused to speak.”
“That’s my fault. I told them that you need time before you try and analyse what Helena was trying to get you to remember.”
Frowning, I stared at her. “Surely, that’s hindering my progress? If I could find out what Helena wanted me to remember, I can forget about it.”
Putting her hands on the tops of my shoulders, Justina looked at me. She was quite a bit taller, her large boobs almost in line with my face. I resisted the urge to stare at them.
“We have to work slowly with you. I don’t want you to push yourself over the edge.”
Dropping my gaze, I traced the lino squares on the floor. I wanted to move on. Needed to catch my grandmother so I could do that.
“When my father was killed, they shoved m
e into therapy straight away.” Justina let go of me and took a step back. Pushing the sleeves of her leather jacket up to her elbows, she put her hands on her hips. “It was too intense for me. Reliving that moment over again was painful. They didn’t even give me time to grieve.”
“Grieve? I don’t need to grieve, I need to kill the witch.”
The sudden desire to plunge my dagger into Helena’s heart almost made me lightheaded. Okay, so that wasn’t a good emotion.
“I want to help you. And, I will. After we’ve spoken to Lucia.”
Nodding, I agreed with my boss. She seemed to know how to proceed. I wanted to work to take my mind off what I’d been though. Sitting around wasn’t helping. It just made me think about it even more.
The door opened when Justina looked into the camera. We both entered the room, our magic instantly numbed down by the wards that stopped the prisoners from using theirs. I’d spent some time practicing my witch magic since I’d been rescued. It wasn’t exactly amazing. Which meant I had to do something about it.
“Lucia,” Justina greeted the witch. “I’ve brought Devon with me today.”
The girl perked up, her sour expression lifting slightly. She sat forward as we took our seats on the other side of the table. She wore normal clothes, her lush dark hair piled on top of her head. She still looked amazing in prison. Would I pull off prison life so well? I doubted it very much.
“I’m pleased you’ve come in. How is…?” Lucia gestured to nowhere in particular with her head.
Glancing at Justina, I couldn’t hold back my blush. My cheeks warmed as my boss raised her eyebrows.
“We know all about your familiar.”
The sharp tone made me wince, let alone someone who desperately missed her cat. Was it wrong of me to feel sorry for her? Yes, probably. However, since Kurt had told me about his experience with his familiar, I’d had a slight pang in my chest every time I thought of Lucia.
“The cat is being looked after. We have an offer to make you.” I spoke before Justina or Lucia could get a word in. It felt good to be back. “If you help us draw out Helena, you’ll be able to see your familiar.”
A witch without their familiar was like a car without petrol. Losing the animal that we were bonded with made us weaker. Even though I wasn’t magically connected to Kingsley, my emotional wellbeing would be jeopardised if I ever lost him.
“Really? You want me to go behind my friend’s back to-”
“Friend?” I hissed, sitting forward. “Have you seen what your ‘friend’ does to witches? Do you need a reminder?”
Justina put a hand on my wrist. Sitting back, I crossed my arms and leant against the chair. Okay, I needed that therapy sooner rather than later. The anger that singed my veins every time I thought of Helena was starting to get out of control.
“I know what she did, I don’t need reminding. I also don’t need punishing any more than I am. I’m doing my time for my involvement. Can you cut me some slack?”
The short burst of laughter that came from Justina was uncharacteristic. I almost joined in, but my temper was only just hanging on.
“I’ll do it, okay?” Lucia said, leaning forward even further. “But, I want protection. Everywhere. She’ll get to those in here. They’ll kill me. She-”
Holding my hand in the air, I stopped her speaking. “You have your own cell. You go out to a courtyard twice a day. You have plenty of protection.”
“You have no idea, do you, Miss Perfect?” Lucia’s sneer was ugly.
Good. At least she didn’t always look hot. I wasn’t impressed with someone who looked flawless all of the time. It was unrealistic. Especially as I hadn’t even brushed my hair that morning.
“No, I don’t,” I said. “I’m not a criminal. Well…”
Both women glanced at me, their thoughts evident to anyone who knew my situation. Really? They were going to judge me for something I did when I was possessed? Ugh. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have spoken so soon.
“Moving on,” Justina interrupted. “If we allow you to see your cat once the mission is over, will you draw out Helena? We need to end this slave trade once and for all.”
“I heard whispers that she’d captured you.” Lucia pointedly stared at the fading red welts on my wrists. “Looks like they were true.”
Tugging my sleeves down, I kept my gaze steady on her. “This isn’t about me.”
“You look so like her. It’s hard to believe that she’s forty-five years older than you. Bloody Essex witches, they get everything.”
“No, we don’t,” I bit through my teeth. “We get bloody headaches, that’s what we get.”
“I wasn’t talking about you.” She laughed to herself. “You’re not exactly an Essex witch, are you? You have warlock in you. You’re impure.”
Heat flared through my muscles, my bones, and my skin. My legs were moving, my arms were raising, and power pulsed through me as a red haze covered my eyes. Trying to pull magic through me, I swore when I remembered that I was in a cell, unable to access the earth.
My body flew over the table, my fist smacking straight into Lucia’s jaw. I shook as I landed on her, sending us both flying backwards.
“You’re a bitch!” The words crept out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Devon!” Justina’s voice came from far away. “Get off her, now!”
The boiling rage that had taken over made my arms shake, but they still ploughed into Lucia, hitting her wherever possible.
Hands grabbed my hair, pulling so hard, I shouted a swear word so vile it tasted nasty coming out of my mouth.
“Enough!” Justina’s hiss in my ear brought me back to reality.
Every part of my body went still as the energy that had flooded me drained away. The anger left, leaving me standing in the middle of the cell, my hands balled into fists, my breath hard and fast.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Justina was breathing hard too.
Going over to Lucia, she checked her over. The witch groaned, batting her away when she felt for injuries.
“I’m going to sue her,” she muttered, spitting blood on the floor. “And, she can forget about me helping. I hope Helena kidnaps her and drains her of all her magic.”
Running a hand over my face, I winced when she sat up. Blood coated her chin, bruises were already forming on her cheek and her eyelid had swollen. What had I done?
The door opened and a guard came in. He approached me, handcuffs swinging by his side. I backed into the corner, ready to fight. Dropping to the floor, I covered my head with my hands. I couldn’t breathe. If he thought he was going to tie me with those handcuffs, I would-
“No, leave her.” Justina stopped him. “I’ll deal with it. Take that one to the infirmary.”
Sounds were loud around me, but all I could see was little me swinging on a swing. Look, Mama…
“Devon, I’m going to teleport us back to the agency.”
My hands moved just as she reached for me. Screaming, I pressed myself against the wall, confused. Where was I? The tree. I had to remember something about the tree. How could I remember? I didn’t know anything about a tree. And, if I didn’t tell her, she was going to starve me to death. In fact, I was already starving. Thirsty, too. My lips were drier than they’d ever been.
Something grabbed me, and I jerked away, blinking when the scene around me changed. The library.
“Take a deep breath, you’re safe.”
Shuddering overtook me as I laid on my side, cradling myself on the cool wooden floor. My eyes were squeezed closed as I tried to block out the video. It was so ingrained in my mind, I couldn’t keep control of when it played out.
“Listen to me,” Justina said. “I need you to work with me. Do you feel like tackling this right now? While you’re in this trauma?”
Seriously? She wanted me to have a therapy session when I was a wreck? My eyes opened, looking straight into hers. She was on the floor with me, laying by my side. Her expres
sion was clear, no emotion showing whatsoever. That was probably a good thing. It seemed to ground me a bit.
“I can’t control when the images come. I… don’t know what just happened to me. I… I’ve never been an unnecessary violent person.”
My eyes followed Justina’s light blonde hair as a chunk of it fell onto her cheek. She closed her eyes, asking me to do the same. I did.
“Okay, so I’m going to take you back to your experience. Hopefully, we can rewire your brain to see something less traumatic.”
Sighing, I allowed my whole being to relax into the floor. If I didn’t do this, I would be forever haunted by what had happened.
“Start at the beginning. See yourself wherever you woke up. Don’t connect to her, just see her.”
An image of myself, curled up in a stone cell came into my mind. My pyjamas were soaked from the mildew on the ground. They weren’t thick enough to protect my shivering body.
“I look like a right state,” I muttered. “My hair is knotty and greasy. Does it look like that all the time?”
“Concentrate.” Justina brought me back to focus. “What happens next?”
When the door of the cell opened, I jumped, smacking my cheek against the hard library floor.
“You’re still safe, remember that. I’m here.” Justina touched my arm briefly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Replaying the drugging, the hallucinations, the dingy hospital… it was horrific. However, my heart beat strong in my chest and my breathing evened. I had to see Helena again. I had to get to the bottom of what she was trying to force me to remember.
“I’m not sure about time at this point.” We had reached the bit where John was forcing me onto the bed.
The restraints. They… I couldn’t go in them again. “Justina, I can’t…”
“You can,” she whispered. “Look, put your hand on your wrist now so you know that you’re not there anymore.”
Lifting a shaking hand, I did as she said, keeping my eyes closed as I felt my freedom. The memory carried on in my mind. Tears crashed down my face as I watched that horrid man force my eyes open. How could Justina make me relive this?
Magically Betrayed: An Urban Fantasy Novel (Hunted Witch Agency Book 3) Page 4