Her Last First Date

by Susan Mallery

  Crissy felt herself smile as she watched the boy. He was so happy and together. She liked his easy confidence and the way he threw himself into the game. She’d been that way about sports, too. In her world, there hadn’t been room for second place. There was either a win or disappointment.

  “He’s very special,” Abbey said, coming up to stand next to her. “In so many ways. You gave us a great gift when you allowed us to raise him.”

  Crissy felt overwhelmed by emotion. “I’m not here to make trouble. I swear.”

  “I know,” Abbey told her. “You can stop worrying about that. I trust you to do the right thing for Brandon. You love him.”

  Love her son? Crissy had barely been willing to admit he existed. That wasn’t love. Abbey gave her way too much credit. She didn’t deserve this family’s kindness.

  “We’ll take it slow,” Abbey continued. “If things go well, you can tell him who you are.”

  “I won’t do that without talking to you first.”

  “I appreciate that. Don’t worry. Things have a way of working themselves out.”

  “You’re too trusting,” Crissy said. “The world isn’t always a nice place.”

  “I’m wrong from time to time, but not often. Pete teases me that God looks out for the very young and the very naive. But he loves me anyway. Family is everything for us. We knew from the start we were going to have to adopt. Brandon was our first blessing.”

  “You have three blessings now. How many more are there going to be?”

  Abbey’s expression turned impish. “I’m hoping for seven, but don’t tell Pete. He always clutches his chest and moans when I hint at four more.”

  Seven children? Seven? On purpose?

  “I’m with Pete,” Crissy murmured, unable to imagine what life would be like. Chaos, for sure.

  “We’ll see,” Abbey said. “If we’re done adding to our family, I’m happy. But if there are a few more kids who need a good home, then we’ll make room. We’ve been lucky. It’s been harder for Josh.”

  There was an opening Crissy couldn’t ignore. “In what way?”

  “You know he’s a widower, right?”

  Crissy shook her head, shocked at the news. “No. I didn’t know. She must have died very young.”

  “Too young. Stacey was barely twenty-seven. Cancer. She’d had it as a child and it went into remission. But she always knew there was a good chance it would come back and it did. She died very quickly, four years ago. Josh was devastated. For a while we wondered if he would make it. But he’s finally getting better. Smiling more. Enjoying life. Dating.”

  Crissy tried to take it all in. Josh and Stacey couldn’t have had very long together. She’d never lost anyone close to her and couldn’t imagine how much that would hurt. Talking to him she wouldn’t have guessed he’d been through so much. He was the kind of man who—

  She caught Abbey looking at her, a knowing gleam in her eyes. Crissy replayed the conversation. One word stood out. Dating.

  “Did you mean me?” she asked and took a step back. “Josh and I aren’t dating. He’s helping me with the whole Brandon thing.”

  “He’s smiling,” Abbey told her. “So are you seeing anyone?”

  Crissy laughed. “You’re trying to set me up?”

  “Why not?”

  “Complications. Josh is the last guy I’d want to get involved with.” Their family connection—Brandon—made the situation impossible.

  “He’s a great guy,” Abbey said.

  “I already guessed that, but no thanks.”

  “Don’t you think he’s sexy?”

  Involuntarily Crissy felt her attention being pulled to Josh as he ran across the backyard. His body moved with an easy grace and somewhere inside of her body parts sighed in appreciation. “He’s okay.”

  “Nothing more?”

  “No,” she lied.

  “Then I’ll have to find you someone else.”

  Great. A matchmaker. “And if I told you I wasn’t interested in romance right now?”

  Abbey grinned. “I wouldn’t believe you.”

  After dinner, Crissy collected plates and headed for the kitchen. Abbey called out to stop her.

  “Crissy, while you’re in the kitchen, would you grab the ice cream for the cupcakes? There are cookie sheets in the freezer with individual scoops in little cups.”

  Of course there were, Crissy thought, guessing Abbey took care of every detail.

  “No problem,” she said.

  “Great. Brandon, honey, would you help Crissy?”

  “Sure, Mom.”

  Crissy stumbled slightly, caught herself and continued into the house. Apparently Abbey’s need to meddle didn’t stop at romance. It seeped into every corner of life.

  Crissy did her best not to panic. In truth, she’d totally avoided having any contact with the boy. She’d watched him play football before dinner and had listened to him chat with his parents’ friends during the meal. She’d been observing rather than participating, wanting to get to know him without him being aware of her.

  Now she walked into the kitchen, put the dishes on the table and wondered what she should say. The simple act of starting a conversation seemed impossible. Her brain went blank and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.

  Okay, she thought frantically. If talking wasn’t going to happen then she should act. She walked to the refrigerator and opened the freezer door. Then frowned.

  “There’s no ice cream.”

  “It’s in here,” Brandon said and led the way into a large laundry room that held an upright freezer.

  He opened the door and she saw cookie sheets covered with cupcake liners, each filled with a perfect scoop of ice cream.

  “Oh, my,” Crissy breathed. “Your mom is so together it’s almost scary.”

  Brandon chuckled. “She’s into feeding people. She’s always bringing cakes and cookies and stuff to school.”

  “That must make you popular.”

  “It helps.” He pulled out one of the trays and handed it to her, then took the second one himself.

  “I don’t cook much,” she admitted. “My idea of a home-cooked meal is to stop for a salad on the way home.”

  Brandon wrinkled his nose. “Girl food,” he muttered.

  What? Girl food? “Hey, you don’t get to think less of me because I’m a girl. I saw you running during the game and I could take you.”

  He snorted. “Yeah, right.”

  She might not know how to talk to a twelve-year-old boy, but she knew exactly how fast she was when she wanted to be.

  “Want to put your attitude to the test?”

  He glanced at her boots. “You gonna wear those?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I don’t think so. I’m fast.”

  “I’m faster.”

  Brandon stopped on the porch and looked at her. “If you think you’re so tough, you can play in the next game. It starts right after dessert.”

  “You’re on.”

  His eyes widened. “For real?”

  “Yes, and when you see how good I am, you’ll bow down and apologize.”

  He grinned. “That’s not gonna happen.”

  Crissy shook her head. “You are so wrong.”

  The sun was close to setting, but there were plenty of lights on in Pete’s backyard. Josh collected a beer from a cooler and walked over to one of the lounge chairs by the football game that was just starting. Despite Brandon’s pleading, he’d refused another round. His nephew’s enthusiastic tackle earlier than afternoon had left him bruised and limping.

  As he settled down, he saw an unexpected addition to the lineup. His gaze narrowed in on a perfect backside sticking out during the huddle. Crissy? Playing football? He looked down at the ground. In those boots?

  It didn’t seem possible, but when they clapped and broke, she headed for the front line. Pete was across from her. She grinned.

  “You’re not going to stop me,” she told him.


  “That’s what you think.”

  Crissy laughed, then turned and watched as the ball was snapped. Seconds later, she was flying down the field.

  Pete and Abbey had bought the rambling old house because it had plenty of bedrooms for all the kids they wanted and because the yard was massive. They’d been determined to have the place all the kids in the neighborhood wanted to play. So there was plenty of room for Crissy to sprint downfield.

  Despite what had to be three-inch heels on her boots, she moved with a speed that stunned the hell out of him. Brandon, normally the fastest guy on the field, couldn’t keep up.

  She suddenly stopped, turned and caught the ball, then raced between the goal line markers. She spiked the ball, then crossed to Brandon.

  “You were saying?” she asked.

  “You’re totally bad,” the boy breathed. “That was awesome. Even if you’re a girl.”

  “So maybe now you’ll stop underestimating what girls can do.”

  “I guess.”

  He looked stunned. Josh had to admit he was right there with him. He’d known that Crissy owned a couple of gyms and it made sense that she worked out, but he’d never guessed she could play like this. What would she be able to do in athletic shoes?

  He told himself he could never go jogging with her. She would leave him gasping in the dust.

  The two teams lined up again. This time Pete’s team had the ball. They used a running play. Crissy was right there with Pete as he raced up field with the ball.

  She was soon level with him, then she calmly reached over and plucked the ball from his grasp. He was so shocked by her action that he actually let go. Seconds later, she was running back the way she’d come. It was over in an instant. She crossed the goal line again.

  Brandon yelled and ran over. They high-fived each other.

  “Girls rule,” she said.

  “I guess,” Brandon muttered.

  Abbey settled in the seat next to Josh’s. “I feel vindicated,” she said. “We need more Crissys in the world.”

  “I’m thinking one is all we can handle.”

  “You know she’d kick your butt out there.”

  “I do, but you don’t have to be so happy about it.”

  “Female solidarity.” She leaned back in the chair. “It’s going well.”

  He nodded. “Maybe it’s going to work out. You all deserve that.”

  “Does the ‘you all’ include Crissy?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “You need to trust her. Pete and I do.”

  She and Pete had always been dreamers, believing the best in everyone. Josh had offered to act as go-between in this situation mostly to get to know Crissy so he could step in and prevent any trouble. Someone had to watch out for his brother and sister-in-law. But so far, he liked what he saw. Crissy hadn’t tried to push her way into anything. She’d held back and observed. Maybe things would work out.

  “She’s not married,” Abbey said.

  He groaned. “Get off of me.”

  “Why? She’s lovely. You can’t tell me you can look at her and not notice that? She’s so physical and smart. It’s an irresistible combination.”

  He grunted because what was there to say? Yes, he’d noticed Crissy. She was all his sister-in-law said, plus sexy enough to make even his dormant body notice. But noticing was a long way from acting.

  “You can’t live like a monk forever.”

  “I won’t,” he said, even though he had no plans to change his current status.

  “She’s right there. Ripe for the taking.”

  He turned to Abbey and raised his eyebrows. “Are you serious? Ripe for the taking? Who talks like that?”

  “I do. You need a woman.”

  This was a conversation he did not want to be having. “So you’re suggesting I use Brandon’s birth mother for sex?”

  “You have to start somewhere and she’s family.”

  “All the more reason to avoid her. Sleeping with Crissy isn’t a complication any of us need.”

  “Fine. Sleep with someone else, I don’t care. But you have to do something. Have you even been with anyone since Stacey died?”

  There was no point in answering the question—they both knew the truth.

  Josh didn’t know how to explain that he wasn’t interested in being with anyone. He hadn’t been avoiding intimacy—he hadn’t been tempted enough to bother. He had a feeling that part of him had died with his wife.

  “I’m not asking you to risk your heart,” Abbey said. “Just give the equipment a test drive. You might like it. You used to like it.”

  “I will not discuss my sex life with you.”

  “You don’t have a sex life, or any life. That’s my point.” She turned to face him. “Josh, please. It’s been long enough. You can’t stay emotionally buried forever.”

  But that’s exactly what he wanted. A life without emotion, without feeling. Because falling in love and then losing Stacey had nearly killed him. He wasn’t willing to risk that again. Not for anyone.

  Chapter Three

  C rissy made it a point to leave with the first rush of guests. She didn’t want to linger and create a potentially awkward situation. So far the visit had been easy and fun, which was a definite plus. Why mess with that?

  She collected her jacket and her purse, then found Abbey in the kitchen. “Do you go into the other rooms of the house?” Crissy asked, her voice teasing. “Or is it just this one?”

  “Only the kitchen,” Abbey told her with a smile. “I sleep in the broom closet.”

  Pete strolled into the room. “Are you leaving? Thanks for coming. Things went well.”

  “I agree. You’ve both been great.”

  “We’re happy to have you hang around,” Abbey said. “What do you want the next step to be?”

  Crissy didn’t have a clue. “Can I get back to you on that?” she asked.

  “Sure. Call me and we’ll talk.”

  Crissy nodded and headed for the front door. She paused when someone touched her arm.

  “Leaving?” Josh asked.

  “Yes. But I wanted to thank you for all your help.”

  “Come on. I’ll walk you out.”

  They moved into the night and headed for her car.

  “Nice wheels,” he said, nodding at her BMW 330i.

  “An indulgence,” she admitted. “I paid off two of my business bank loans and celebrated with some serious shopping.”

  “A car, not shoes?”

  “I’m not your typical female.”

  “So I noticed. You play football.”

  She laughed. “I can hold my own. I’m fast. Tackling would be more of a problem. I lack the body mass to do any damage.”

  His gaze never left her face, but she had the oddest sense that he was checking her out. Which was crazy. Josh was acting as a mediator, nothing more. Besides, she wasn’t looking to get involved with Brandon’s uncle.

  “Today went well,” he said.

  They stood in the dark, Crissy leaning against her car, Josh standing in front of her, his hands in his jeans pockets.

  “It did.” She’d been holding emotions at bay for hours and refused to give in to them now. “I was terrified, but it was okay. Brandon’s amazing. Pete and Abbey have done a great job with him. With all the kids. They’re an inspiration.”

  “Maybe they started with a good gene pool.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not taking any credit for that boy’s personality. I don’t deserve it.”

  “Still beating yourself up?”

  “Regularly. I do it for exercise.”

  “You shouldn’t.”

  “Easy to say,” she told him. “Harder to do. I don’t know what to think when I look at him. Is there connection? Should there be? Am I messing with his world? I’m so far out of my comfort zone, I don’t know where to begin.”

  “You talked to him,” Josh said. “How did it go?”

  “Good. We talked sports
mostly. I like him. I never thought about liking or not liking, but I do.”

  “Did you want to tell him who you were?”

  If the car hadn’t been right behind her, she would have taken a step back. “No. I don’t know that I ever will. It’s too soon. The situation is…complicated.”

  Whatever everyone else might say, she still wasn’t sure she deserved to get to know Brandon. Adding to the mix was her desire to not hurt him or his family. The easiest thing would have been to stay away, but for some reason, she’d been unable to do that. Which left her an emotional mess.

  Feelings welled up inside of her. She tried to ignore them, but when she had the unexpected and overwhelming urge to throw herself at Josh and ask him to make it all better, she knew it was time to leave. She didn’t have breakdowns and if she was about to start, she would prefer they be in private.

  “Thanks again,” she said. “I appreciate your help.”

  “I was happy to be here. You have my number. Call me if you want to talk about any of this.”

  Exactly what Abbey had said, but somehow Josh’s invitation was inherently more intriguing.

  “Okay, I will,” she said, even though she knew she wouldn’t.

  Crissy managed to park in her garage and made it all the way to her kitchen before the first tears fell.

  “This is stupid,” she said aloud. “I don’t cry.”

  She hadn’t in years. So why start now?

  Logically she knew there were any number of reasons, the first of which was meeting Brandon. She glanced at the clock on the cable box, then added three hours. It was too late to phone her parents in Florida. Too bad, because she could have used hearing a friendly voice.

  She pulled out the bottle of white wine she’d opened the night before and poured herself a glass, then left it on the counter and walked into the room she used as her home office.

  Ignoring her computer and the comfy sofa she’d put on the opposite wall, she crossed to the closet in the corner and pulled open the door. Inside were her off-season clothes, several boxes of financial records and a shelf full of clear plastic containers. She pulled off the one that held all her odds and ends from high school and sat on the floor.

  The top came off easily. Crissy began digging through prom pictures, yearbooks and hundreds of photos of her with friends. At the bottom, she found an old envelope containing only a few pictures. They were all of her while she was pregnant and there was a single photo of Brandon, right after he’d been born.