Confused, I asked, “Why would I lecture you?”
“Because she was a… a whore.” His face contorted. “She was using me for my money and position. She was too old for me. Why can’t I see that I’m better off without her?” His voice choked up. He swallowed. “The Pelinos did me a favor, and I’m up here pining away for her like some lovesick puppy.”
My chest ached for the kid. I could almost hear his parents reciting this shit over and over, willing him to accept the truths about the woman he loved. His pain was so heavy, so encompassing, I couldn’t even look at him. I was afraid of being sucked into it. “You’re not stupid, Dante. She couldn’t have been all bad.”
It was the best I could do. I couldn’t defend her against the accusations of his parents. Especially not when everything they said was true. Still, he was just a boy in love with a girl. He needed to know how normal that was.
His expression softened, once again revealing the persistent little boy who used to follow me and Angel around. “Thanks,” he whispered, turning back to his game.
“When was the last time you slept?” I asked.
“I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see her reaching for the door.” He choked up again. “We were fighting. I did what you guys wanted. I called it off… told her I couldn’t be with her anymore. I was trying to protect her from you, from Angel, from the family. But I get it now. There is no protection from the family.” His voice dropped. “The family takes everything.”
I couldn’t argue with him, because every word of it was true. Nothing I could say or do would make him feel better.
“You ever been in love, Bones?”
Ariana’s face immediately came to mind. She was standing on top of Sunrise Mountain, my jacket draped over her shoulders as she watched the lights of the city. Then sitting beside me in the Hummer, wiping away tears I’d caused because I couldn’t tell her I had feelings for her. I didn’t even know what I felt.
“I loved her, so they killed her. I watched her die, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. She was dead before I got to her. I didn’t even get to tell her I was sorry.”
What would I do if something happened to Ariana? What if I could never hear her laughter or see her smile again? Would I end up like Dante, locked away hiding from reality? No. I’d go after the son-of-a-bitch who did it and make sure they never hurt anyone again. But if I was really smart, I’d keep Ariana as far away from the family—and me—as possible.
Dante jumped into another game, so I headed downstairs. Everyone had finished eating and the kitchen was empty. I searched the house until I heard sounds coming from the den. They were crowded on the sectional, watching an animated movie on the eighty-five-inch screen. Markie was teaching Sofia how to braid Sonia’s hair, while the twins were snuggled against Ariana. Angel was standing behind them, but broke off and joined me at the door.
“How’s Dante?”
His question pissed me off, not because of the question itself, but because of the necessity of it. Dante’s girlfriend hadn’t died of natural causes or some accident. She’d been murdered because she was dating Dominico Mariani’s son. That was the world we lived in.
“What’d you be like if you lost Markie?” I asked.
Angel’s eyes narrowed. His gaze cut to the sofa, as if reassuring himself she was still there and unharmed. He shook his head. “I don’t know. I can’t think about that right now.”
He wouldn’t be able to think about it ever, but it was always a possibility, especially while we were still in Vegas.
“We need to get the hell out of this city,” I said.
Angel nodded. “I worry about my brothers.”
I worried about them, too. With Angel gone, they’d be completely under their father’s influence and he’d do his best to make sure Dante and Georgio grew into family men he could use. “Maybe we can come back for them or help them in some way. When they’re older.” I couldn’t see how, but Angel was a smart guy. He’d think of something.
He nodded and leaned against the doorway, returning his attention to his siblings in the room. “Maybe we can come back for Christmas and the other holidays to visit. Maybe they can spend some time with us when school’s out.”
I nodded, agreeing with him because he needed it, but I doubted the boss would let Angel anywhere near his children once he left. The boss never negotiated, but Nonna was the wild card. Since she’d be living with us, she could request the kids. Would the boss keep his own mother from seeing her grandchildren? We were in unchartered territory, and I had no idea what would happen. No need to crush Angel’s hopes.
“The twins are getting big,” he observed, drawing my attention to them.
They seemed to be focused on the movie. Ariana must have felt us watching, because she looked up and grinned. She squeezed their shoulders and kissed their foreheads. I’d never pictured Ariana as a kid-person, but watching her with the twins made me reconsider. I wondered what kind of mom she’d make. What kind of wife.
“What’s up with you and Ari?” Angel asked.
And that was the million-dollar question. She liked me, we had chemistry, she made me laugh, she had my back, she was gorgeous, and the taste of her kiss had made me hungry for so much more. Yet there was still a very big problem.
The family takes everything, Dante’s voice said in the back of my mind.
I knew it was true. As long as I belonged to the family, any relationship I had would be doomed. I’d always known it, which was why I’d stayed clear of anything that could turn romantic. But somehow Ariana had gotten in past my defenses. I still didn’t know if I loved her, but I liked her too much to find out. So I looked my best friend in the eyes and lied to both of us. “Not a damn thing.”
I could tell he didn’t believe me, but he let it go. “You been out a lot lately. Still looking for Matt?”
“Yeah. I got a bead on him last night, but he split before I got to him.”
“Weird. It’s almost like he knows when you’re coming,” Angel said.
I’d been thinking the same damn thing. But I’d been scanning the Hummer every day and I wasn’t being tracked. If Matt was getting tipped off, it had to be from someone in the family. Two months ago, I wouldn’t have even considered the possibility, but a lot had happened in the past sixty days. And I was running out of time. As an enforcer, I was only as good as my job performance. Up to this point, I’d gotten every man the family had sent me after. My record was spotless, making me look like a valuable, capable soldier. But if I didn’t burn Matt, people would start wondering if I was slipping. Or worse, they’d wonder if I was in cahoots with the junkie. And assumptions like that would lead to the boss sending someone after me.
“You’ll get him, Bones. You always do,” Angel said, patting my shoulder.
I had to get Matt. Killing him was the only way I could stay alive.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ariana
MY SISTER HAS always had a soft spot for kids, which is like saying casinos have a soft spot for money or SUVs have a soft spot for gas. Markie seems to need kids around her to survive, almost like she thrives on helping them and doing things for them. Growing up, she was one of those weird kids who would break plans with her friends to babysit, and not because she needed the money. She was crazy. Which was why—on a night when I was finally exhausted enough to sleep—she was talking my ear off, agonizing about Angel’s siblings and wondering how she could possibly drag him away from them.
“Drag him away?” I asked. The visual her words created made me giggle. Angel towered over Markie, and outweighed her by a good fifty pounds. “If he’s the type of man you can ‘drag’ anywhere, you need to dump that loser. Yesterday.”
She sighed. “You know what I mean.”
“Uh, I don’t even think you know what you mean, because you just insinuated that your boyfriend is some spineless jellyfish, who’s abandoning his family to be with his girlfriend. And that’s not the type of guy my sister would date.
”
“Angel’s not like that at all,” she defended, rolling over to face me.
No, he wasn’t. Angel wasn’t as tough or scary as Bones, but he wasn’t a pushover either. He was perfect for Markie, and he practically worshiped the ground she walked on. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t say he was.”
I watched her out of the corner of my eye. It felt so weird to share a bed with Markie again. After our mom died and we moved in with our uncle, I used to sneak into her bed every night. It was silly and immature since we were in high school, but after losing both of our parents, I was afraid I’d lose her, too. But I didn’t lose Markie. She left, first to college, and then to Africa. I was angry when she moved into the dorm, and devastated when she got onto the plane. Especially since I knew she had cancer and I would probably never see her again. Now here she was, healthy, madly in love with Angel, and trying to take care of kids who weren’t her responsibility.
“I wish there was something I could do to help them,” she said.
“You can’t help everyone, you know?”
She frowned. “Yeah, I know. I need to get back to the orphanage. That’ll make me feel better.”
“I don’t think you’re quite ready for that yet. When do you go to the doc next?”
“Friday the fourth.”
The fourth was the day after my birthday. If the doctor gave Markie a clean bill of health, she, Angel, and Bones would be clear to leave Vegas. I didn’t want them to leave, which made me feel needy and co-dependent. Did Bones even want me to go? Sometimes it seemed like he didn’t even want to be in the same room with me. I missed our easy friendship and wished I’d never kissed him on Sunrise Mountain and screwed it up. But he had kissed me back, full of passion and need as his greedy hands roamed over my body. Was that just hormones and testosterone? At the time, I’d been certain there was more, but now I wasn’t so sure. I was still trying to puzzle him out when I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning’s workout was particularly grueling. Bones had stepped up my training to a point where he was now swinging the punching bag at me. I didn’t know whether to dodge or hit and several times I tried both. That didn’t go so well, and I spent more time trying to keep my balance than anything.
“Hey! What’s your problem?” I asked after he slammed the bag into me so hard it ended my war with balance by knocking me off my feet.
Bones leapt into action, steadying the bag as he scanned my body for damage. “You okay?”
I nodded, still breathing heavily. Boxing was no joke on the cardio, especially when your trainer was acting like a muscle-bound sadist.
“Sorry. I was distracted. I didn’t mean to swing it that hard.”
Well that confused me since there were only the two of us in the gym. “Distracted by what?”
“I just got a lot on my mind.”
No way was I gonna let him get away with such a crap-lousy excuse. “Join the party. But you don’t see me trying to put you on your ass.”
He cracked a smile. His gaze roved over my body as I lay on the mat, lingering at the hem of my shorts before drifting to my sports bra, assessing, challenging. “Think you can?”
It was the most attention he’d shown me since the mountain, and I craved it like sunshine after a hard winter. Not to be outdone, I returned the favor, my own hungry gaze floating up his baggy sweats to the T-shirt stretched across his six-pack and pecs. The beast was back, feral, lurking behind his eyes, and I wanted to unleash it—to let it roam and conquer—even though the smart thing would be to run and hide. My senses played a quick game of rock, paper, scissors, and courage crushed brains, forcing me to my feet. Eye-to-eye with the predator, I breathed him in deeply before answering, “Yeah, I do.”
We stood locked in that moment for what seemed like forever, and I really thought he’d take me up on my offer. I hoped. I prayed. I wanted to set him free, but Bones was too caged, too controlled. His expression shifted from hunger and lust to pain and torment, and then finally, resignation.
He released the bag. “I know what you want from me, Ari, but I can’t give it to you. I’m sorry.” Then he walked away. I watched him through the glass wall as he sat at a weight machine, back to me, and began lifting.
That was it. I was done. If Bones deflected one more pass I made at him, my fragile ego would shatter into a million pieces. I could tell he wanted me, but something held him back—something much more important to him than I’d ever be. Whatever. I was over it and over him. Picking up what was left of my pride, I got out of there.
I showered and got ready for work in record time, determined to take back my life and remember who I was. Dammit, I’d promised myself I wouldn’t let another jerk screw with my head, but here I was, pining after another one. I was so absorbed in my self-loathing that I almost ran into him on my way out of the apartment. Bones was suited up and leaning against the wall waiting for me, keys in hand, determination etched into his face.
Screw his determination. I was never ever going to put myself in a position to be alone with him again. I needed time to build walls. Walls not even his sexy crooked smile could knock down. “I’m taking the bus today.”
He sighed, rolling his head to the side and looking at me like I was the one acting all hormonal. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”
He couldn’t even look me in the face and he was still insisting on taking me? No way. Angel and Markie were perched on the sofa in the living room, eyes on their laptops, but I could feel their attention on us. I didn’t care. I took a deep, steadying breath and tried again. “I’m an adult, it’s a free country, and I’m taking the bus.” Then, because I’m a smartass who couldn’t seem to stop challenging him, I added, “Unless you're prepared to physically force me to ride with you.”
Then he did look at me, and I swear to God, he considered it. The little thrill that went up my spine was all the evidence I needed that I could never let that happen. Every ounce of self-preservation I had left was screaming at me to put as much distance between us as I could.
“Don’t touch me, Bones,” I warned. “You do, and you will never see me again.”
“Ari—” His voice was deep and soft, whispering to the crazy in me… the crazy who wanted him no matter how much he was unwilling to give me.
I turned to Angel and Markie, who were now openly watching us. “’Bye guys.” I waved. Then I stepped around Bones, careful not to touch him, and fled.
Bones didn’t follow me.
I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe some sort of romantic scene where he ran down the stairs to meet my elevator only to throw his hot, sweaty body at me and profess his undying love. But when the elevator doors pinged open, he wasn’t there. I clearly wasn’t worth him running down the stairs for.
Sighing, I went to catch the bus with all the other loners.
As if my day wasn’t crappy enough, Matt was back in my secret hiding spot, waiting for me when I took my lunch break. This time he wore jeans, sneakers, a baseball cap, and an old sweatshirt. Not even trying to impress me anymore. Good, because I didn’t feel like being impressed. Still pissed about Bones, I didn’t have enough energy to deal with Matt. My heart had been run over too many times. Prince Charming himself could have shown up at that very moment and I would have put one of my heels through his eyeball. I was done letting guys sweep me off my feet only to drop me off a cliff into a garbage heap.
“What do you want, douchebag?” I asked.
“Whoa, rough day?” He stood and took a step toward me. “I got something that can help you with that. Take the edge off.”
“I’ve been clean since the night you almost killed me.” I backed up for his protection, not mine. I was more than willing to try out some of the fighting moves Bones had been teaching me. “How do you even know when I’m working? And when I take lunch? I swear, if you put some sort of tracker on me, I will shove it so far up your a—”
“Whoa.” He put his hands up. “Chill, babe. I missed you and cam
e to see if you’ve thought any more about my offer.”
“Your offer? Whatever you’re selling I sure don’t want it.”
“About the audition,” he clarified. “I just got off the phone with the guy and he’s got an opening in an hour and—”
I had to hand it to the guy, he was persistent. Like a cockroach or the plague. “I’m working, Matt.”
“Working a dead-end job that you should blow off for this chance of a lifetime.”
“Blow off my stable income for a gamble?” I laughed. He was so unreal it was almost funny. “Been there, done that.”
“This time’s different. This is for real.”
Why wouldn’t he just go away? “Look, I don’t know what your game is, but I’m not playing. I gotta get back to work.”
Matt’s calm facade melted away, revealing concern, then anger. He switched tactics, grabbing my arm. “I’m trying to help you, babe, or are you too stupid to figure that out. Now come on, we have a meeting to get to.”
Then he started walking toward the door, yanking me along behind him. Shocked, it took me a lot longer than it should have to realize what was happening. But when everything clicked, I went ballistic.
“NO!” I screamed, jerking my arm away from him. I didn’t care if I made a scene, I was over men thinking they could tell me what to do.
His eyes widened in shock. He glanced around to the few people who were watching us. “Stop it. You sound like a crazy bitch.” He reached for me again. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
He hadn’t even begun to see what a crazy bitch I could be. “Keep your hands off me, Matt!” I backed up. “No means no, you freaking horn dog.”
That earned us a healthy dose of attention. People stopped what they were doing to catch the show we were putting on. One of the security guards made eye contact with me, silently questioning. All I had to do was nod or yell, and he’d rush over to help.
Matt looked from side to side, forcing a don’t-mind-me-I’m-harmless smile while raising his hands in surrender, like this was all just some big misunderstanding. “My bad. Sorry. I thought I was doing you a favor. Thought you were serious about gettin’ on a stage.”
Breaking Bones (Mariani Crime Family #2) Page 11