She grasped his slacks and pulled them down his legs. Then she eased along the length of his body, reveling in the feeling of skin against skin, of the tight lace of her bustier and the soft cotton of his briefs. They kissed, breathless, moaning, until she felt his hands on her back.
“As great as you look in this, I’m ready to see you out of it.”
His fingers were as nimble as any surgeons as he worked the hooks free. Amy breathed a sigh as he peeled the confining garment away from her. Her breasts brushed his chest, making him groan. She smiled.
Within seconds, he’d peeled away her lacy bikini panties and his briefs, and all teasing stopped. He kissed her deeply, rolling over until she was beneath him. His mouth found first one nipple, then the other, suckling hard until she writhed and held his head to her breasts. He overwhelmed her with passion, his hands and lips coaxing her to lose control. She did, moaning into his mouth, grasping him, pulling him into her warmth.
“Wait,” he growled. He reached for his slacks, found a packet in his pocket, and tore it open with his teeth. Within seconds he was ready. He looked into her eyes as he pushed into her body. Their sighs mingled as he braced himself above her.
“Amy,” he whispered.
She placed a finger against his lips, then closed her eyes as they began to move.
“Look at me.”
She opened her eyes, her lids heavy as she gazed deeply into his dark eyes. Her muscles clenched inside, holding him tight as he moved deliberately, driving her higher and higher. He rolled his hips and she moaned, her nails pressing into his back. The sensations overwhelmed her, pushing aside any thoughts except the incredible way Gray, only Gray, made her feel. Her release rolled through her as she lost focus on his face, as darkness threatened.
She barely heard his answering groan, but she felt his completion, the heavy tenseness in his body before he relaxed upon her. His weight felt glorious. She held him as tightly as her weak arms would allow, just in case he had any thoughts of leaving her.
They lay joined for a long time, his hands gently brushing aside her damp hair, stroking the chill bumps on her arms where the cool air touched her. When he did move, it was to roll them beneath the covers, tucked tight together, until sleep claimed them both.
Chapter Twelve
The second time was slower, richer, but equally intense. In the aftermath of making love, sometime in the wee hours of the morning on New Year’s Day, Gray lay in the king-size bed and decided he wanted to actually marry Amy, not just pretend to be engaged to her.
“Let’s make it real,” he whispered against her tousled hair.
“Mmm,” she responded drowsily.
He smiled. He’d just proposed—something he’d vowed never to do again—and Amy was sound asleep. Well, he couldn’t blame her. They’d exhausted each other. The only reason he was awake was because he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
As he lay with her in his arms, her steady breathing ticking his chest, he recognized the sense of rightness he felt when he was with her. While their passion was explosive, their companionship was quieter, more steady. He liked that. He enjoyed being around her—in private, in public, and under all situations they’d experienced.
Amy wasn’t like other women he’d known. He’d accepted that fact early on, but hadn’t really thought about how important her unique qualities would become. How much he’d miss her if she weren’t in his life.
She stirred, her hand drifting across his chest, her leg hooking over his. He felt every glorious naked inch of her along his side, draped across his chest, and he wanted her again.
But not before they talked.
“Amy, sweetheart, are you awake?”
“No,” she mumbled against his chest, sending chill bumps across his skin. Then her lips moved against him, tasting, kissing, and the chill turned to heat.
“Not before we talk,” he said aloud this time.
“Talk?”
“That’s right.”
“Is it morning?”
“No. Well, it’s very early.” He looked at the red numbers of the clock beside the bed. “Almost three o’clock.”
Her hand strayed lower on his abdomen. His body sprang to attention.
“Why do we need to talk at three o’clock in the morning?” she asked.
“Because I want us to get married. Really married.”
That got her attention. “What?”
“I want to marry you. For real. I don’t want to just be engaged temporarily.”
She pulled away from him, pushing her hair out of her face with one hand. “You said you didn’t want to get married again.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t think I did. I’ve reconsidered.”
“Why?”
This would be the tricky part. He knew women wanted to hear the reason their man wanted to marry them was because of undying love. Mad, passionate love that made logical thinking impossible. Crazy urges that turned sensible men into blabbering idiots. He couldn’t lie to Amy. He’d been madly in love once; it wasn’t an experience he was willing to repeat.
“Because,” he began carefully, “we are really great together. I enjoy being around you, and I think you feel the same about me. We obviously have passion working for us. The whole town is thrilled that we’re engaged.”
“But…marriage?” She pulled the sheet up with her as she leaned against the headboard. In the room’s dim light, he could see a combination of surprise, denial and something else. Maybe…hope?
“Why not? We have a lot in common.”
“We have a lot of differences.”
He sat up, feeling at a disadvantage lying on the bed, on linens that still smelled of their lovemaking. Grabbing the edge of the sheet to cover his lap, he sat cross-legged facing Amy. “We both love living in a small town.”
“You put your business first.”
“Yes, just as you need to put your patients first. Responsibility is important to both of us.”
“You had a bad first marriage.”
He shrugged. “I had unrealistic expectations about marriage, having never seen a successful one.”
“Then why do it again?”
“I’m not as clueless now,” he stated. “I’ve learned a lot in the past few years.”
“Like what?”
He pulled the sheet more securely across his lap. “Like basing relationships on more than attraction and assumptions that the two of you have similar goals. Like knowing the difference between lust and compatibility.”
“And you think we have compatibility?”
“Yes, but we also have lust. The difference is that we’re adults and we can handle it. Neither one of us wants to jeopardize their career over a scandal.”
“What happened at your house wasn’t a scandal,” she defended, raising her chin a notch. “I could have ignored the talk.”
“I could have also, but we both agreed an engagement would be best.”
“And you haven’t had any second thoughts?” she asked.
“No.” Surprisingly, he hadn’t. Being committed to Amy seemed right, especially since they could talk so openly about their individual goals and needs. “Have you?”
She looked away, worry crinkling her forehead. “I don’t know if they’re really second thoughts, but yes, I’ve thought about our situation a lot.”
“I’ve thought about it, too, but in the best way.” He reached for her hand. “You make me feel good, Amy.”
She turned her head to him, her eyes softening. “That’s very sweet. Are you so sure you want to take such a huge step?”
“Yes.”
“We’re talking about real commitment here. Not some temporary living situation until you find someone else more glamorous, more exciting.”
“I don’t need more excitement or glamour. You provide plenty of both.”
She frowned at him. “I’m not going into marriage believing divorce is the easy way out.”
“Certainly not.”
“I want children.”
“Let’s wait a year or so to get settled.” The idea of children terrified him at the moment, but he was sure he’d grow into the concept of small versions of himself and Amy. He wasn’t sure he’d be a good father, since his role models hadn’t been steady, loving or compatible for the small-town life he now enjoyed. The idea of getting Amy pregnant, however, had definite appeal. He was sure she’d be a great mother, even with the demands of her medical practice. Sure, they could talk about children later.
“Why are you being so agreeable?”
“Because we are in agreement. Why don’t you believe how much we have in common?”
“I don’t know.” She put her hand to her temple. “I just don’t know, Gray. Marriage is so…permanent.”
“As it should be.” He paused, then took her hand. “Are you afraid you’ll find someone else? Someone who would make your heart beat faster?”
“No,” she said vehemently. “That’s not my fear.”
“Then what is?”
AMY TOOK A DEEP BREATH before answering, feeling both elated and frightened by what Gray had asked. Marriage. She hadn’t expected him to want to make their relationship permanent. She wasn’t ready for this, but she needed to explain.
“First, in order for you to understand where I am right now, I have to tell you about the past.”
He squeezed her hand. “Okay.”
His kindness and compassion, on top of his crazy, unexpected proposal, almost made her cry. Closing her eyes to blank out the sight of him naked, cross-legged on the bed, with only the corner of a sheet keeping him decent, was more than her overcharged emotions could take.
“When my mother died, I had a hard time understanding why. I was a happy child; I’d never experienced loss or great sadness. My father was devastated, but together we pulled through. He had his position as the town’s doctor, and the support of friends. I had him, only him. I became afraid that something might happen to him, too, and I’d be all alone. My mother was an orphan, and my father’s parents were older when he was born, and had died several years earlier.”
She took a deep breath. “I was the woman of the house after that. I worked very hard to keep everything calm and steady. I’d had enough turmoil in my young life. All I wanted was for things to stay the same.
“I’m still like that, Gray. The little girl inside of me doesn’t want her life to change. I’d barely gotten settled in Ranger Springs, and then I had to start a pretend dating relationship with you.”
At his frown, she shook her head. “I didn’t mean it that way. The pretend dating was my idea, after all. It seemed the smart thing for both of us, but it did upset my life.”
“Played havoc with mine a time or two,” Gray said with a wry smile.
“I know.” She looked down as their clasped hands. “What I’m trying to say is that I took a chance on changing our relationship from pretend dating to lovers, and look what happened. First, we had to get engaged, then—”
“We didn’t have to get engaged. I talked you into it, and you agreed because it’s what you wanted.”
“That’s one way of looking at it.”
“I know that’s the truth, whether you want to admit it or not. You want to get married.”
She briefly considered denying it, but knew she couldn’t without lying. She had thought about marrying Gray. She’d admitted to herself that she didn’t want the temporary engagement to end. “Maybe, but it means more change. I’ve had so much in my life recently. I’m not sure I’m ready for more.”
Gray grasped both of her hands, forcing her to look at him. “Just answer this—does it feel right?”
“I don’t know. I can’t trust my feelings.”
“Why?”
She shifted on the bed, wanting to pull away, but knowing she had to answer. She had to make him understand. “Because if I need you, you might leave me. I can’t trust those feelings to last. I can’t risk falling in love, only to lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, tipping her chin up so she had to look at him. “And I’m not expecting you to love me right now. I think we have something that’s more important than a fleeting emotion. We have compatibility, friendship and passion. I think we’re much better equipped to begin a marriage than a couple who simply claim to be in love.”
What he said made sense, in a bizarre sort of way. She’d never thought of marriage in that manner. Her parents, she knew, had loved each other. That’s why her mother’s death had been so devastating.
“Believe me, what we have will last longer than some youthful ideal of love everlasting.”
Gray had never mentioned love, even as an endearment, even in a moment of passion. Surely he’d loved his first wife. Was the experience so bad that he didn’t want to repeat it? Amy knew one thing; he didn’t love her. She couldn’t let him know how deeply she felt about him. She’d learned to guard her heart.
After her mother had died, she’d carefully shown her father how much she cared for him without burdening him with emotional needs he would have struggled to fulfill. He had his own feelings of loss to contend with. Being considerate meant not demanding constant reassurances that she was loved. She knew her father loved her without him constantly telling her so.
She wasn’t sure how Gray felt about her, but she knew he cared. He showed her in so many ways. So what if they didn’t call it love?
“Maybe you’re right about youthful ideals not lasting, but can you be so sure that you’ll never fall in love with someone else?”
“Amy, I’ll never be unfaithful to you. It’s not in my nature. If you’ll agree to be my wife, I’ll never put myself in the situation to look at someone else.” He lay his palm along her cheek. “And I expect the same of you.”
“Of course.” She had no intention of being unfaithful to her husband, whoever he might be. And she knew his answer didn’t really address the issue. If he didn’t believe in love, how could he believe he’d fall for someone else?
“Then you’ll say yes?”
“Gray…I just don’t know.”
“Trust your instincts, Amy.”
“I’m a person who believes in science, in medicine. I don’t treat my patients through sorcery, and I don’t make decisions in my life based on feelings.”
“Then apply logic to our relationship. All the reasons for getting married are obvious. Aren’t the reasons not to take this engagement to its logical conclusion emotional?”
She couldn’t argue with his logic. Besides, she wanted to marry him. She wanted the freedom to lie in his arms at night, wake beside him in the morning. She wanted to say to the world that he was her husband, to wear his ring and know that he was faithful only to her.
She wanted to make love to him, spend the night with him, wake up beside him each morning.
She wanted to give her father grandchildren.
“All right,” she whispered. “I’ll marry you.”
He framed her face with his hands, looking deeply into her eyes. His own were dark and intense. Then he closed the gap between them, his lips taking hers in a fierce kiss. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to be swept away. He pressed her back against the pillows, the sheet falling away with her doubts, her lingering inhibitions.
She was going to be Mrs. Grayson Phillips. Dr. Amy Wheatley Phillips. She would keep the clinic and create a wonderful, calm life for herself and the family they’d have someday.
Life was going to settle down soon, she thought as his lips moved to her neck. She was going to be Gray’s wife.
A WEEK LATER, LIFE WAS anything but calm. Robin and Ethan Parker insisted on hosting an engagement party in Amy and Gray’s honor, but Joyce also wanted to be involved. They divided up duties into food, beverages, decorations and invitations, but needed frequent consultations with the bride-to-be. Fortunately, the weather stayed clear, cool and sunny, and everyone scurried about with their planning, as happy as could be.
Amy ha
d her usual load of patients to see—all of whom, even Mrs. Gresham, added their hearty congratulations—plus she had to contend with her father’s occasional visits to her office. He would stand in the doorway and grin as though he were the one getting married.
Well, maybe he should. Planning a wedding would certainly take his mind off her engagement, and his constant questions about when she and Gray were going to set the date. Where they were going to live. When they were going to have children.
She needed Gray’s input about the most important detail—when the wedding should take place.
“I don’t care,” he said when she asked him at dinner the next weekend. “Would you like to be a June bride?”
“Isn’t that awfully soon?”
“Is it?”
She knew what he was asking: Is there a reason you don’t want to get married? She didn’t know how to answer the unspoken question. Yes, she wanted to marry him, but she didn’t want to rush into another change. Not until she was absolutely certain that Gray was committed to their union. His desire to get married just seemed so…impulsive. He wasn’t the type of person who made rash decisions, much less took impetuous action. This whole marriage idea seemed so sudden, so unexpected.
But still, she found herself saying, “June would be fine.”
And so the arrangements began. A small engagement party for friends and family was scheduled at Ethan and Robin’s house. Life returned to a semblance of normalcy except some additional shopping trips to San Antonio and Austin on the weekends. She had to choose a dress, flowers, and decide who would stand up in the ceremony with her.
Gray had already asked Ethan to be his best man. Amy wasn’t sure whom she would ask to be her maid of honor since so many of her high school friends had moved away from Ranger Springs. Her college roommate was a possibility, but they weren’t as close as they once were due to demands of their respective careers. Her lack of close friends at this stage in her life was probably a sad commentary on how much she’d invested in becoming a doctor.
“You’ll have a chance to make new friends,” Gray told her when she mentioned her observation to him one evening. “We’ll probably socialize more with Ethan and Robin since we’ll be a real couple. And I have other business associates and casual friends who are married. Maybe after we’re married you’ll enjoy their company.”
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