But even as she formulated that thought a nagging guilt followed it. And a memory.
Her mother would read a Children’s Bible to her every night before she went to bed. In fact the Bible Evangeline now held on her lap had belonged to her mother. Her mother had always told her that God loved her like a father loved his own child.
Evangeline closed her eyes, frustration mingled with a wave of sorrow coursed through her. Maybe not the best example.
She ignored the guilt and set the Bible aside. Maybe another time, she thought. She got up, walked to the door and unlocked it.
Then she went to the storeroom and pulled out her latest shipment. A faint sense of anticipation sang through her at the thought of the brand-new books waiting to be inventoried and shelved.
An hour and five customers later, she was partially through the box when she heard the door of the back room open and a voice calling her name.
Her heart lifted and she caught herself smoothing her hair.
Denny stepped cautiously into the store, looking around.
“Over here,” Evangeline said, getting to her feet.
His hair, tamed and brushed, still glistened from his shower and his strong jaw shone from his shave. He wore a plain brown shirt tucked into new blue jeans.
“Hey. Thanks so much for putting Ella to sleep,” he said, his slow-release smile making her heart quiver in spite of her resolve.
“Yeah. No problem.” Evangeline ran her hands down her thighs, nodding. “Is she still sleeping?”
“Out like a light. I was wondering what I should give her when she wakes up again. She hasn’t had anything but that cup of milk.”
“Probably some warm cereal. Just follow the instructions. Maybe blueberries, as well?” Evangeline wasn’t sure, either, but threw the suggestions out anyway.
“That sounds good.” He shifted his weight as he slipped his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I better let you get back to work,” he said, taking a step back and giving her an apologetic smile. “I shouldn’t leave Ella alone too long. And about that babysitter...I’m thinking I would prefer if they could come to the apartment to take care of her, but I’d be willing to take her somewhere, too. Whatever works.”
Evangeline nodded and, as Denny left, sorrow stirred in her soul. Poor Ella. Only here a day and she was already getting shuffled around. Too familiar.
Half an hour later the first box of books was inventoried and the store was still quiet, so Evangeline started making a list of prospective babysitters.
Then, whenever she had a spare moment, she phoned someone on the list.
By the time she was ready to close the store that evening, between dealing with customers and finishing unpacking the books, Evangeline figured she must have made about twenty-seven calls. She had started with her friends, then the book club, then customers. She’d even swallowed her guilt and called people from church that she hadn’t seen in ages.
Trouble was, there was no one available to work all day and, potentially, into the evening if Denny was late. Evangeline knew how trucking worked. Breakdowns and delays meant Denny could show up anywhere from five-thirty to nine at night.
She could have created a hodgepodge schedule of babysitters but Evangeline knew that she would be in charge of following through if one couldn’t make it.
Why don’t you do it?
Evangeline dismissed the question as soon as it formulated in her mind. There was no way she could take care of a baby. She had a business to run.
You could have her here in the store. Just like your aunt did when school was out.
But she had been a child of eight. And she had kept herself entertained as her aunt ran the store.
However, the pernicious suggestion wouldn’t leave her alone. She pressed her fingers to her temples as sympathy for Ella battled with practicality. She easily remembered that perfect moment this morning in Denny’s apartment, the little girl cuddled up against her; a soft, sweet weight.
And Denny sleeping across from her—
She gave her head a shake and focused her thoughts on Ella. That precious little girl didn’t have anyone going to bat for her right now. Her mother was dead and her father, Denny, had his business to take care of.
Ella’s plight reminded Evangeline of her own youth. A busy father, no mother and the only person to take care of her was a well-meaning but somewhat aggrieved aunt.
But did she want to entangle herself so quickly and deeply in Denny’s life?
It’s for Ella, she reminded herself.
She walked to the door of the store, locked it up and flipped the Open sign to Closed. Then she walked through the back, across the hall and knocked on Denny’s door.
She wasn’t sure if he was home. She thought she had heard him leave a while back, but only seconds after she knocked, the door opened and Denny stood there looking rough and ragged. He must have had a busy day.
But in spite of that, he still exuded an appeal she had a hard time ignoring.
“Hey, there,” he said with a welcoming smile that niggled at her equilibrium. “Come on in.”
“Is Ella up?”
He shook his head. “I took her out with me this afternoon. Had to meet my one driver. She fussed the whole time, so thank goodness she’s asleep now.”
Evangeline only nodded.
“So did you come to tell me you found a babysitter?” The hopeful note in his voice accompanied by an expectant look increased her burden.
She hesitated. She could still back out, she thought, her mind ticking over the possible scenarios for Ella and Denny. But there was only one she could follow through on.
“I decided I would take care of her. I’m right here and if you’re late, I can bring her to your apartment. All her stuff is here...her food and clothes. I figured it was the easiest solution.”
She stopped the flow of words spilling out of her mouth. It was as if she was trying to convince herself as much as him.
“You couldn’t find anyone else?”
“You don’t think I can do it?” A faintly defensive note entered Evangeline’s voice.
Denny held his hands up. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. You’re busy with your store and I don’t want to impose. I thought you could’ve found somebody—”
“The store is not complicated work. And I think most of the customers will understand the situation.” Hopefully. So much depended on how Ella behaved.
Denny scratched his head with a forefinger. “Are you sure?”
No, she wasn’t sure, but until she found someone who was able and willing to make the time commitment, she couldn’t see any way around it.
“I am. I did find a young girl who would be able to either watch Ella for a couple of hours in the afternoon or help me in the store, which would give me a break and allow her to have a quiet nap here in the apartment.”
Denny still didn’t seem convinced.
“Look, I don’t mind doing it,” Evangeline continued. “I wouldn’t offer if I did. Besides, it’s temporary. You did say your sister was coming.”
Denny’s sigh was one of reluctant resignation but Evangeline knew better than he did that there were no other options. “That’s right, but the minute it’s too much—”
“I’ll let you know,” she assured him.
He nodded, sighing again. He looked exhausted. For a moment she wanted to offer him and Ella supper, but that was blurring boundaries she needed to keep in place.
“So I thought I would let you know what was up,” Evangeline continued, “and find out what time you will be leaving in the morning.”
“I can take care of her tomorrow. I just have to get my contracts in order and make sure my trucks are moved. But I do have to head out Friday at about eight.”
She was surprised. Her father always started much earlier. “That would work well. I’ll stop by to pick her up then.”
Denny massaged his neck. “You’ve taken a huge load off my shoulders,” he said. “But I’m still not comfortable with this.”
Neither was she. “It’s just for now,” she replied. “I’ll keep looking.”
A cry from the bedroom made him spin around, his thankful smile dropping away. “Sounds like Ella is awake. I gotta go.”
Evangeline took an unconscious step toward the door as Denny strode toward the bedroom, then stopped herself. Denny had this.
She was entangled enough in their story.
Chapter Six
Denny shot a quick glance at the clock on his truck’s dash as he pulled into the parking spot behind his apartment. Six-thirty. An hour later than he’d told Evangeline in his text message he would arrive.
Guilt and frustration wove themselves tightly around his stomach. While taking care of Ella yesterday, he’d managed to arrange the move of his trucks. Today he’d started hauling again. Two hours later than he’d wanted to, but he couldn’t expect Evangeline to take care of Ella from his usual six in the morning to the end of the day.
His other trucks were still hauling but he’d cut himself short by one run. The job was farther away from Hartley Creek than he’d thought and the run was longer than he had been told. He was assured that an adjustment would be made in the contract, but it still meant he wasn’t back when he had told Evangeline he would be.
He rotated his neck, trying to ease the tension gripping it ever since Ella had been dropped on his doorstep.
A kid. He had a kid.
And a woman he barely knew was taking care of her.
He stared blankly at the brick wall in front of him, trying to still the faint panic that crept up every time he thought of Ella.
How was he supposed to work that little girl into his crazy, busy life? He had always wanted children someday, but within the bounds of a stable marriage. That Lila couldn’t get pregnant had been difficult at first but as the marriage fell apart, he’d seen it as a mixed blessing.
Now he had a child, but no wife. And no stability in his life, either.
His phone chimed and he glanced down to see who was texting. Olivia. Finally. He swiped his thumb across the screen and a text message popped up.
Got your text, the note on the screen read. Sorry. Can’t come for a week or so. But need a few $$s.
He felt a niggle of resentment. Olivia seemed to contact him only when she needed something. Usually money.
Will send it if you come to Hartley Creek. I need your help, he texted back. There. See what she does with that.
What help? I’m working.
He shook his head, then texted, Just come to Hartley Creek and I’ll tell you. Olivia wasn’t making a lot of money tree planting if she needed money from him. She could quit her job and help him out.
He waited to see what she would say to that, but no reply was zinging back to him.
Wasn’t that typical? If his sisters needed his help they were quick enough to come to him, but if he needed something they usually had some excuse.
He laid his head back against the seat of his truck and closed his eyes.
“Dear Lord,” he prayed, “help me to get through this. I’m completely at a loss here. I need Your help. I don’t know how to take care of a little girl and I’ve got a hundred things to do. I can’t count on Evangeline to take over. Please help me let go of my worries and trust in You. Please bring peace into my life.”
He waited a moment, then slowly got out of the truck. Too many times he had prayed that same prayer for peace in his life. Maybe someday it would be answered.
He opened the back door of the apartment, stepped inside and did a double take. Trying to get Ella fed this morning and ready to take to Evangeline had been a whirlwind of activity. He had left the place looking as though a tornado had spun through it.
But everything was neatly in place. No trace of tossed clothes and dirty breakfast dishes.
Had Evangeline done all this, too?
He felt a mixture of thankfulness and extra obligation and he wasn’t sure what to do with his emotions. He wasn’t comfortable having someone help him.
He pulled his boots off and set them aside in the back entrance then hurried through the apartment to the hallway and knocked on the back door of the store.
He waited a moment, then he heard footsteps, the sound of giggling, and the door opened.
Evangeline stood, holding Ella on one hip, her hair swept to one side. She was grinning and Ella, solemn little Ella, was laughing, batting at a little stuffed teddy bear Evangeline was holding in her other hand.
“Hey, there,” he said, grinning at the sight of Ella laughing and the sight of Evangeline’s smile. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
She shrugged, her eyes flicking from him to Ella, touching the tip of her nose with the face of the bear. “That’s the life of truckers” was her enigmatic reply.
“So, how did it go?” He looked past her to the room where Evangeline and her friends had gathered that one night. Comfy chairs circled the edges of the room, but some had been pushed aside to make room for a portable crib. “I see you took the crib from the apartment.”
“I did. Sorry. Ella was tired this morning so I got the crib and laid her down back here.” Evangeline shot him another quick glance. “I had to go into the apartment. I, uh, also took the liberty of cleaning up. I had to get Ella lunch and...well—”
He held his hand up to stop her midapology. “You’re the landlord and I appreciate you cleaning up. You didn’t have to do that.”
Ella giggled again, then looked over at him. As soon as she saw he was looking at her, she buried her head against Evangeline’s shoulder, her chubby arms snaking around her neck.
He couldn’t blame her. He probably looked rough. The gravel pit was dusty and dirty and he hadn’t stopped to clean up.
“Hey, girl,” he said, reaching for Ella. “We need to go.”
But Ella didn’t lift her head and started to whimper.
Looked like it would be another long night, he thought with a stab of dismay.
“Why don’t you bring her crib back to your apartment and I’ll take her across,” Evangeline offered, shifting her weight as Ella still clung to her.
Denny felt as if he should protest, but it didn’t look as though Ella was going to him right away so he collapsed the portable crib and brought it back to Ella’s room and set it up again.
Evangeline was shushing Ella, who’d begun to whimper again as soon as she’d entered the apartment.
“Not such good memories for her here,” Denny said, coming out of her bedroom.
He held his hands out to take Ella from Evangeline again. Evangeline glanced from Ella to him and then with a melancholy smile eased her over to Denny.
But Ella leaned away from him toward Evangeline, throwing him off balance, her whimpers turning to cries of anguish.
“Hey, baby,” Denny said, turning away from Evangeline, patting her back as he struggled to settle her, wondering why she was so upset as soon as he held her.
Maybe the little girl had sensed he hadn’t wanted her when Deb dropped her off.
While her cries filled the apartment he rocked her back and forth, drawing on his limited experience with his younger sisters, who had all been older than Ella when he’d taken care of them. But he didn’t think Ella would appreciate being tossed in the air or being pushed around on the floor while he growled like a wolf the way he had for his sisters.
Ella kept twisting in his arms, looking past him toward Evangeline, tears streaming down her cheeks, sobs shaking her body.
“Here. I’ll take her,” Evangeline said. “She’s probab
ly hungry. She hasn’t had her supper yet.”
“Right. Of course.” Denny released his red-faced and upset daughter with a sense of guilty relief.
He ran his hands through his dusty hair then hurried over to the kitchen, yanking open the cupboard. “So, the turkey and sweet potato?” he asked, pulling out a jar for Evangeline’s approval as Ella’s cries subsided.
“That sounds good. Maybe some fruit with that?”
He grabbed a jar with a picture of blueberries on it and a smiling baby who seemed to mock him. Ella had settled down, but she was still sniffling.
“Her bowl is in the dishwasher,” Evangeline said.
“Right.” Denny washed his hands, found the bowl and set it on the counter. He hurriedly scooped the food into the various partitions then shoved it in the microwave, remembering from last night not to make it too hot. He pushed the right buttons, then turned to see what Ella was doing.
Evangeline was on the couch, Ella parked on her lap while she chewed on the teddy bear.
“So. How was she today?” he asked as the microwave hummed behind him.
“Really good. I brought her here for lunch and she ate well. She had a good nap this afternoon.”
Denny nodded as he watched Evangeline playing with Ella, feeling very challenged and, if he was truly honest with himself, very confused. On the one hand he felt guilty that Evangeline was taking care of his daughter and on the other he wasn’t even sure how he felt about Ella. Shouldn’t a father have an immediate connection to his own flesh and blood?
And what if she wasn’t?
Your name is on the birth certificate.
And her age lined up with those few weeks when Denny thought he and Lila would try to make their marriage work.
He had to accept that she was his daughter. And the sooner he did, the sooner he could figure out where his life was going next.
“How was your first day on the job?” Evangeline asked, tossing her hair to one side to look up at him, her easy smile creating a sense of anticipation.
He couldn’t help a crooked grin. “Good. Busy. Sorry again about being late.”
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