I reached out for his hands and when he held mine in his own, I smiled. “We have to have morals and a code we live by or we have become the animals we’re supposedly fighting. I know why Dizzy is allowing this to happen but I will never agree with his decision. I hope you can understand why I feel the way I do. Perhaps if nothing had ever happened to me—if I hadn’t been abducted, raped, humiliated and tortured I wouldn’t feel this way. Shoulda, woulda, coulda though, and none of it can be changed. I won’t allow this to happen and if you can’t stop it because of your loyalty to the brotherhood, I can . . . and I will.”
“This is bigger than the Saints, Nomes.” Ronan glanced at me and his bright violet-blue eyes shining with unshed tears. “This is our business . . . however, Angelo Abandonato and Raymond Jackson are pulling the strings with Erik Kitaev. I can only guess the Bratva has some sort of . . . deal with the government and he’s untouchable. What you’re proposing could get you murdered if they found out. You’re the mother of my children and I can’t take that chance on women that don’t mean a goddamn thing to me.”
“You took that chance for me.”
“Because I love you so much, I can’t fuckin’ see straight. Without you, I don’t have a life. I just . . . subsisted while you were gone. I drank like a fish and passed out fucking a woman I called by your name because I was so out of it. And not for nothin’ but you and Layla don’t look a damn thing alike but I was desperate to be with anyone who could remind me of that connection we had but I couldn’t find it.
“You see,” he said in a low voice, “I’m confessing to cheating on you. While you were gone in some hellhole being tortured and abused, I stuck my dick in another woman . . .” He trailed off and a sob escaped between his parted lips. “I hate what I did and if I could take it back I would because I was so fuckin’ wasted, I didn’t even know my own name. I was so scared of losing you—that I had lost you forever and . . . I don’t know everything but I do know I won’t allow you to do anything where this is concerned. I can’t allow it. I won’t have you killed because you tried to save a bunch of faceless women I don’t give a flyin’ fuck about. I know I sound like a heartless bastard but it’s the honest to goodness truth. To me, it’s business, nothing more. Somethin’ else we gotta do to keep the government out of the club and our lives.”
I wanted to keep my word and crack a rib or two not to mention knock out a couple of his perfect, veneered teeth. He’d fucked Layla—that stunning cunt who could give Jennifer Lawrence a run for her money in the innocent, sex-kitten department—while I was being raped by Fernando but, unfortunately, I couldn’t do shit. Unfortunately, my resolve had weakened over the months. I wasn’t the same take-no-prisoners, tough-as-nails bitch I once was.
I knew it didn’t make me a doormat or weak.
It merely made me human.
Just like the man who stood in front of me sobbing like a child because he’d done the unthinkable during my awful ordeal.
I couldn’t hate him. Hell, I couldn’t even bring myself to be mad at him because he wasn’t himself. He would have done anything to save me and yet he couldn’t—his father had forbid him.
Instead of going psycho and causing any damage, I merely wrapped my arms around his neck while he held me and continued to quietly sob. I couldn’t know how much of a weight it must have been to finally let all the secrets, lies and pain go.
To say I understood why he didn’t want me to act on my gut feelings was an understatement. He’d nearly lost me before and he’d be damned if it happened again. I had to agree with him and stay out of harm’s way. If I wanted our relationship to survive then I couldn’t always be right and I sure as hell couldn’t always get my way.
“Fine. I won’t do anything for now because I can see you’re not ready for anything like this. I suppose neither of us is if we’re honest with one another. Me being pregnant doesn’t help the situation either. Just because I’m not going to do anything to sabotage this little operation means I agree with it and am okay with the Saints trafficking women. I think it’s deplorable to be honest and I never thought the club would sink that low. Not for the government—not for money—not for anything in this world. I’m disappointed but I understand your voice only carries so much weight and if Abandonato and Jackson are involved, there is little you can do.”
“Thank you,” he whispered in my ear before he kissed my lips. “The last thing I need to be concerned about is you being disappointed in me.”
“It’s not disappointment. More like . . . me being hormonal and comparing every bad thing that happens to any woman to what I went through. It just feels like the female sex is losing a war we’ve fought for so long. We never ever had real equality but we’d made some powerful gains forward and one by one . . . they’re slipping away from us. I don’t understand this mad world we live in anymore. When an informant is more important than an agent’s health and well-being. When women are sold and traded as currency. It’s disconcerting, Ronan. Am I just a piece of property to you or do you really and truly love me? As a human being—not as your possession.”
He leaned his forehead against mine as his hands placed themselves on my growing baby bump. “I loved you from the moment we met. I just didn’t know it yet. I grew up in an environment where women were and still are a man’s property but not like you’re suggesting. When I think about you, my heart grows warm with anticipation. I love you so much, it’s a struggle to breathe sometimes. You’ve never been just a possession to me. You’re the one person I can’t be apart from . . . you make me a better human being. Does that sound like a love saved for property, Nomes?”
I shook my head.
“Good. Let’s go to bed. I’m tired and your questions and deep thoughts are doin’ my fuckin’ head in.”
I laughed out loud. “Come on, caveman, up the stairs we go.”
“Caveman, huh?” He picked me up as if I weighed nothing and carried me up the stairs to our bedroom.
As soon as we were both snuggled in bed, his naked body spooning mine, he kissed my neck softly.
“Baby?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“I wanna be with you in every way. I mean . . . you bein’ my fiancée isn’t good enough anymore. I want us to get married.”
“We’re going to as soon as—”
“I don’t wanna wait until the babies are born,” Ronan interrupted before he turned me around to face him. “It doesn’t matter what you decide to wear, babe. Hell, I don’t care how round your belly is—I just want you to be my wife . . . my old lady. I want you to well and truly belong to me. Not because of what Fernando did but despite what he did to you. He thought he could own you but you’ll never belong to anyone but yourself . . . even if I know your heart belongs to me.”
I kissed his lips softly, my eyes closed. “And yours to me.”
“Always and forever.”
“Then yes, we can get married as soon as possible.”
Ronan kissed me again before we fell asleep in one another’s arms.
Chapter Thirteen
Ronan
As much as Ronan looked forward to the day he married, Naomi, they both decided a break from tradition was in order.
Usually biker weddings were pretty predictable. They usually took place at the compound with Harleys lined up side-by-side as the bride was walked down the isle by her father.
Neither Ronan nor Naomi wanted any of that crap. Not because he wasn’t a proud biker who was in complete awe of the traditions they created and his heritage. They both wanted a semblance of normality established in their lives and a traditional wedding seemed like the perfect place to start.
Yes, they would still be a badass biker couple and Ronan would continue his position as Vice President of the Vegas charter but Naomi was a provincial woman at heart and she wanted a traditional wedding—Vegas-style.
Their special day was held at Vogue Casino, Hotel and Spa in a gorgeous area of the property reserved for weddings. Althoug
h it was outside, the temperature in Vegas was warm enough for the guests to enjoy the ceremony in comfort. In that aspect, it was biker all the way with members from charters all around the world showing up.
Over eighty percent of the guests were bikers with the rest being rock stars and the elite from the criminal underworld, including Angelo Abandonato and his family, Raymond Jackson, his wife, son and their daughter-in-law. Talia Viaro and the rest of Winter’s Regret showed up along with all the members from Scarlet Fever.
Ronan couldn’t disguise his anger at his brother, Jaden, for bringing his cheap skank he’d proposed to but nothing could be done without causing a scene. Therefore, Faith was there by his side whether he wanted her to be there or not.
As her bridesmaids, Naomi had chosen Kyra, Chantal and Talia with Gisela as her matron of honor. Ronan had chosen Trey, Cricket and Cillian with Hardy as his best man. It was a definite break from tradition but he couldn’t deny he was closer to Hardy—his uncle and club president—than he was to his brother.
Cillian would always hold a special place in his heart and they would always be blood brothers but he wasn’t the one he went to when times were tough. They hadn’t battled side-by-side together like he and Hardy had. Furthermore, his brother hadn’t taken several bullets for his woman but Hardy had and wore his injuries with pride. He would have done anything to make Naomi happy.
Hardy and Naomi had a genuine close relationship where she loved Hardy and he loved her. He’d been just as torn up about her abduction as Ronan was and it had been Hardy who’d been there for him, not Cillian. It was no disrespect against his brother any more than Naomi was purposely disrespecting Talia when she chose Gisela as her matron of honor. She and Gisela were still close—despite their distance—and the woman had personally come to see Naomi when she’d been in the hospital recovering from her ordeal.
Ronan was not allowed to see his bride the whole morning and afternoon before their wedding. It was definitely shotgun though most people would have never known about all the hard work that had gone into the wedding in such a short amount of time. It was taking place just two short weeks after the delivery of women from Eastern Europe. Despite the quick pace of the occasion and it being only a week before Thanksgiving, everyone managed to show up to the festive occasion without any issues or problems what so ever.
Ronan was nervous of course. How could be not be but he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Naomi? It was true—their children had been conceived out of wedlock, but he, too, was a traditionalist whether he freely admitted it or not. He desperately wanted the twins to be born to married parents.
Besides, how could he deny how much he loved his bride-to-be? She’d stuck by him through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. If they could successfully survive what Fernando had put them through knowing he would escape his heinous crimes with impunity, he knew they would be able to survive anything life threw their way.
This was the final transition they needed to get over everything Naomi had gone through. She’d suffered so horribly yet she’d been so strong and managed to move forward with her life. She wouldn’t allow Fernando to ruin her and Ronan had nothing but respect for this woman who had shown so much strength and courage in the face of such overwhelming adversity.
“You ready to get hitched, my brother?” Cricket snuck up behind him as Ronan adjusted the monkey suit he wore.
Naomi had refused him the option of wearing something casual. Since her wedding dress was a Christian Dior empire waist gown, she insisted he wear a suit by a reputable designer.
As far as suits went, the men were as casual as possible in upscale Dolce and Gabbana black suits, which matched the colors of the club. Their cuts were worn instead of suit coats.
The bridesmaids wore black and cream fitted, designer cocktail dresses, which corresponded to the overall theme created in haste by Gisela and Kyra. He had to admit they had done a terrific job under such short notice.
“I’ve been ready to marry Naomi for months but it was only after she came back to us safe and sound I realized I didn’t wanna wait. So what? She’s pregnant. And the babies should have come after the wedding but to be honest, I wanted to make sure we wouldn’t have any issues. I don’t want another ‘Trey and Kyra’ situation,” Ronan explained as he slid on his cut.
“Yeah . . . it’s been tough for Trey but what he can he do? The specialists they’ve been to insist she’s fine and can get preggers naturally if she can learn to relax. That apparently is the problem, not anything physical,” Cricket murmured in a low voice.
“It’s probably ’cause she’s a Hughes,” Cillian spoke up jokingly after he looked around to make sure Trey wasn’t in the room. “The two clubs were never supposed to mix in the first place. Her poor body can’t handle all that strong Cox sperm.”
The three men laughed until Trey walked in with a scowl on his face.
“Thanks, brothers. It’s so nice to know what my old lady and I are going through is nothing more than an ice-breaker punch line to all of you.”
Ronan immediately felt guilty. “Sorry, brother. We’re all on edge, especially me. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll confess right here and now my old lady didn’t even want our twins. She thought they were Fernando’s and she refused to give birth to his children. We fought for almost two months because she wanted to have an abortion.”
Trey straightened his cut as he glanced at Ronan with bright hazel-green eyes. “I know. I’m the one who reassured her we knew she was pregnant when she entered into her perilous situation. The DEA took some blood from her a day before the second meeting with Fernando when he abducted her. Pregnancy hormones show up immediately. We knew she couldn’t have been more than ten days pregnant—max—but we couldn’t tell you guys about it either. At least Dizzy didn’t want you knowing just in case she miscarried . . .”
“Brother, I had no idea.” Ronan walked over to him and placed his hand on Trey’s shoulder. “I hope nothing is wrong with Kyra, really, I pray she’s fine. What the bros and I were joking about earlier—that shit ain’t funny.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Worst case scenario, we can always adopt. There are always options. Gisela insists being our surrogate if Kyra can’t have a baby but I don’t want another woman having our child. I would rather just take in some poor bastard whose parents don’t want him or her.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
Dizzy strolled inside the room and glared at his son. “What the fook is takin’ youse so long? Naomi is ready to bolt! She thinks she’s making the worst mistake of her life.”
Ronan’s heart skipped a beat before he realized his father had a sick sense of humor. “You are jokin’ around, old man, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am, you eejit, but I did try to talk her outta marrying youse. Told her you were the biggest fuck up I produced other than that worthless git, Kaelan. She just laughed and said you couldn’t ever be as bad as Kaelan. I like her already. How the hell did I get so lucky with all these wonderful daughter-in-laws? Now, if you could only find someone for Quinn . . . I’m just gonna convince meself that boy is gay and secretly in love with Bookie,” Dizzy explained with a pained expression on his face.
Ronan, Cillian, Trey and Cricket all the sudden looked at each other, as if the truth finally dawned on them. Could it be true? The two men were awfully close and neither could keep a girlfriend—at least not a steady one.
“Dad, you really think . . . Quinn’s gay?”
“Course the boy is camp as a row of tents. Are you tellin’ me you haven’t guessed it before and you’re his twin, Ronan?”
“I just assumed he wouldn’t have wanted to be in this life . . . I mean, being gay. I don’t have an issue with it but this isn’t the friendliest culture when it comes to that kind of thing—”
“It was bound to happen.” Dizzy shrugged apathetic shoulders. “I didn’t think I could produce as many sons as I have and not at least o
ne of them be queer. Think about it . . . there’s six of youse. All of you are straight; Kasper and Kaelan are bi and have been with both men and women and then you’ve got Quinn. Maybe he considers himself bisexual but I have a feeling he won’t be having a traditional wedding. At least not like this.”
“Shit. Now I feel bad about not having be part of the wedding—”
“Why?” Cricket interrupted. “You two aren’t that close and haven’t been since you left for Glendale.”
“Enough talk, lads. Let’s get this wedding over and done with.”
Ronan took a deep breath and followed his father along with Cillian, Cricket and Trey out of the room. They walked down a long hallway that led to a gorgeous garden where he would shortly be saying vows of love and devotion to the woman who would soon be his wife.
The actual ceremony was beautiful.
Naomi looked gorgeous in a vintage cream dress that had an empire waist, which hid her growing bump. Her hair was up in an elaborate chignon with pearls and roses weaved throughout. Her makeup was minimal yet she’d never glowed more than she did that day.
After their vows and being declared husband and wife, the guests and the lucky new couple were all escorted to a lovely outdoor setup where the reception would be held.
Several hours and many glasses of champagne, a grand dinner and wedding cake-cutting ceremony, Naomi rested her head on Ronan’s shoulder as they danced to “Halo.”
She stared into his eyes, her bright amber orbs enticing, as they were seductive. “So, when are we gonna ditch our wedding party and you take me up to our grand suite where we finally get to have legal sex?”
Ride To Vengeance (A Rough Riders MC Novel #3): A Rough Riders MC Novel #3 (The Rough Riders MC Series) Page 14