He turned toward her, a smile dimpling his cheeks. “My pleasure. We’ll talk before you go to pick up Sam. I’d like to go with you.” He inched closer.
“I’d like that.” She tilted up her chin, so close to Josiah she could smell mint on his breath. She lifted her hand and cradled his cheek, wanting him to kiss her and yet hesitating to make the first move.
He bent toward her, his lips softly capturing hers. Then he pulled back. “I’d better leave.”
No, don’t. But she wouldn’t say it out loud because he was right. It was better that he left now. She didn’t know what to do about the feelings swirling around in her head concerning Josiah. She needed some space between them until she figured out how to be a friend and nothing more.
“Yes, you’re right. Talk to you this week.”
She waited on the porch until he drove away, thinking back to all that had occurred recently. Josiah had always been there in the center of the action. In that short time she’d become dependent on him. She’d vowed she would never feel that way about a man again. She wasn’t a risk taker, although everything in her shouted that Josiah wasn’t a risk.
She shook her head, trying to empty her thoughts of him. But she wasn’t successful.
With a deep sigh, she pushed open the front door.
To find her son standing in the foyer looking into the living room, fear on his face.
He whirled around and flew at her. “I thought you’d left me alone or something.”
“No, honey. I was saying goodbye to Josiah on the porch. Is something wrong?”
“I can’t sleep. I tried really hard, Mom.” His eyes filled with tears, and he bit his lower lip.
“That’s okay. Sometimes it takes a while to fall asleep.”
A tear ran down his face. “I’m scared. What if Foster escapes from jail?”
She smoothed his hair off his forehead. “He won’t.”
“He was in my bedroom.”
“We don’t know that for sure.” Although she thought he had been, she didn’t want to confirm it for Robbie.
“He must have opened my window. I didn’t. You didn’t.”
“Well, he can’t now. He has police officers guarding him, and he’s behind bars.”
“I miss Buddy. He made me feel safe.”
“He wasn’t with you last night.”
“That’s because Josiah needed him more, and I felt safe at his house.”
“You love this house, and your room.”
“I want to move to the other bedroom.”
“It’s smaller.”
“I don’t care. That man ruined my room for me.”
Sadness enveloped Ella, and she wished she could turn back time. Lord, please help Robbie. He shouldn’t have to feel this fear at his age.
“Will you sit with me while I fall asleep?”
“Of course.”
He hugged her. “You’re the best.”
A few minutes later, Ella sat against the headboard in Robbie’s room with her son cuddled up against her. For the first half hour, his eyes kept popping open to check she was still there. Then the next thirty minutes, they stayed closed, but her son twisted and turned. By the second hour, he finally calmed, and soon he fell asleep.
But Ella was wide-awake with no hope of going to bed anytime soon. Darkness shrouded her, and if it wouldn’t have awakened her son, she would have turned on a light. She didn’t want to take that chance. Like her son, she’d slept well at Josiah’s. Now every sound outside spiked her heartbeat. Even staring at the window, she imagined Foster crawling through it and snatching Robbie from her arms.
With thoughts of Keith, it had taken her over a year in Anchorage before she’d gotten a good night’s sleep. She was determined Foster wouldn’t invade her peace—her son’s. She searched her mind for something to think about that brought a feeling of safety, calm.
Josiah.
No doubt about it. She’d never met someone quite like him. She could talk to him about things she didn’t with others. That still amazed her.
But a big part of his life was a mystery to her. He held a large part of himself back. She could never allow her heart to become involved. Could she?
* * *
Josiah sat at his desk in his home office. “I’ll bring Buddy over this evening. He can stay the next two nights until you take Sam home. Do you think that will help Robbie sleep?”
“Thank you, Josiah. Are you sure?”
Hearing the relief in Ella’s voice confirmed his decision, even though he’d awakened last night in a cold sweat. “Yes. It’s only for a couple of nights. I’ll be fine. Remember, you two had Buddy before.” If he wasn’t, he’d deal with it. He didn’t want Robbie becoming so scared he couldn’t sleep.
“You’re a lifesaver, and I know Robbie will be thrilled. At least let me treat you to a dinner. I hope you’ll be able to stay when you drop Buddy off.”
“I’ll make time in my busy schedule,” Josiah said with a chuckle. “Since the doctor told me to rest and take it easy for two or three days, I’ve been working from home.”
“Good thing you have an understanding boss. See you later.”
After he hung up, Josiah leaned back in his chair and stared out the window at his backyard. Serene. Peaceful. And yet inside, he couldn’t shake the memories of Foster’s heavy weight pressing down on him, squeezing all the air from his lungs. The sensation of not being able to breathe had thrown him back to his time as a POW. The past two nights, his nightmares had returned, and Buddy had been there to wake him from the horrors he relived.
A tightness in his chest that had nothing to do with his bruised ribs spread. Before he could call Buddy, his German shepherd was in front of him, nudging his hand. Taking breaths as deep as was possible, he stroked his dog, thinking of his present life. Ella. Robbie. Slowly his panic subsided.
But would it tonight, without Buddy?
ELEVEN
Thursday evening, Ella inhaled a deep breath of the outdoorsy scent of the Russian Jack Springs Park. “It was a good idea to walk Buddy and Sam together. Sam is already responding to Buddy, and he’s a great role model for our puppy.”
“How was your first night with Sam?” Josiah walked beside her on the trail while Robbie held both leashes.
“Robbie insisted on Sam sleeping in his bed, and somehow there wasn’t one accident—at least last night.”
“So Robbie slept all right without Buddy?”
“Yes and thanks for the use of Buddy for a couple of nights.” She slanted her head and assessed Josiah. He didn’t look as tired today. Yesterday she’d wondered if he’d been getting the rest the doctor recommended. “How have you been sleeping with the bruised ribs?”
“When the doc told me to sleep on the side that’s bruised, I thought he was crazy. But believe it or not, it actually is much better.”
He didn’t exactly answer her question, so she said, “I’m glad you’re getting the rest he said would help you get better, because my son has already started bugging me about the camping trip.”
“I’m adjusting, and over-the-counter pain meds are all I have to take now. I think we could look at the first weekend in August. That’s only a couple of weeks away. I know how it is when you’re a child and want to do something badly, but Sam should take his focus away. I’ll come over after work and help him with the puppy.”
“That’ll be great. I appreciate it, and so does Robbie. You and Buddy are all he talks about.” But what would happen to Josiah and Robbie’s relationship if another woman entered his life? He deserved to be married and be a father. He was fantastic with her son.
“Is he going to be at the training session this weekend or staying with your neighbor?”
“He wants to be at the session, but this
Saturday is all business for Northern Frontier. Now that it’s safe, I need to focus on my job or David might fire me.”
Josiah tossed his head back and laughed. “Are you kidding? He knows a great office manager when he sees one. You should hear him rave about you.”
A blush heated her cheeks. “Enough, or I might get a big head and grow right out of my ball cap.”
Josiah stopped on the path while Robbie let the dogs sniff a tree off the trail. “That’s just it. You don’t realize how good you are. Efficient. Caring. More organized than most people. Great with people. You remind me a lot of my sister.”
She was growing uncomfortable with all his compliments and needed to change the subject fast. “Is she able to come camping with us?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Good, because I like her a lot, and it’ll give us more time to get to know each other.”
“She’s looking forward to it. Our love of camping as children is the reason we didn’t sell Outdoor Alaska when our parents died. So it’ll be good to get back to our roots. This camping trip will help us to see what new products work or don’t.”
“So this is a business trip?” The corners of her mouth twitched with the grin she was trying to contain.
“Not really. Not even for Alex. As much as she’s a workaholic, she still sees the value in taking some time off.”
“But you’re not a workaholic?”
“Not like Alex. She’s a diehard.”
“I’m glad you aren’t. There’s more to life than just work.”
“Believe me. I discovered that the hard...” His voice faded into silence. “We better catch up with Robbie. Sometimes it’s hard to control two dogs at the same time.”
Frustrated, she chewed on her bottom lip. She wanted to shout at Josiah, Let me in! Finally she stopped and blocked him on the path. “Why didn’t you finish what you were saying?”
“Because I don’t share my life with anyone. Some things are best left in the past.” He skirted around her and increased his pace to catch up with Robbie.
At that moment, she realized he’d never really share his life with her. If it weren’t for Robbie, she would put some distance between her and Josiah right away before she became even more invested in him. But it would break her son’s heart. He’d never had a good male role model, and Josiah was quickly taking that position in Robbie’s life.
That realization made her decide that after the camping trip she would have to find other role models for her son. Maybe through the Big Brothers program. She was afraid when Josiah moved on in his life, it would devastate Robbie.
“Mom, what’s keeping you? I want to play on the playground before we leave.”
There was no easy solution to her dilemma concerning Josiah and Robbie. She exhaled slowly. “I’m coming.”
* * *
Ella came into the kitchen from her backyard and noticed Robbie hanging the phone up. “Who was that?”
He shrugged. “Wrong number, I guess.”
“Josiah will be here soon. After Sam’s training, we’re going to Outdoor Alaska to get the camping equipment we need, so remember not to get dirty.”
“Hurray! We leave in two days, and I need to practice putting up our tent.”
“Only when I’m watching.” She couldn’t afford to buy a second tent if he ruined the first one.
“Sure, Mom. I wish you’d quit babying me. I know what I’m doing. Josiah taught me, remember?”
“True, but that was a couple of weeks ago.” She’d tried to stay away from Josiah as much as possible when he came to help Robbie, but it wasn’t easy when she saw him being more of a father than Keith had ever been.
“Mom, why can’t Sam go with us?”
“We aren’t taking the dogs. Linda and Harry will watch Sam. He’ll have fun with Buddy and Sadie. I don’t want to have to worry about your puppy when what we’re doing is new to us.”
“We’re gonna be on an island. Sam couldn’t go too far without meeting the Gulf of Alaska.”
“What if we run into a bear? Do you want to worry about Sam doing something to get himself hurt?”
“Bears? I hadn’t thought of that. Are there going to be many?”
“It’s Alaska. The possibility of a bear encounter is part of living here. Remember that time the moose came down into our yard during the winter and ate our bushes? We live in a big city. That didn’t stop the moose.”
Robbie giggled. “I doubt much could stop a moose or a bear.”
“It would take a lot. That’s why you never confront one.”
The doorbell chimes resonated through the house.
“That’s Josiah. I’ll get it,” Robbie said as he rushed from the kitchen.
“Check before you open the door,” she called after her son, but she doubted he heard her because two seconds later he admitted Josiah into the house, then began telling him about his day.
Ella smiled. Poor Josiah. Sometimes he couldn’t get two words in.
When Josiah entered the kitchen with Robbie, he smiled at her, which sent goose bumps up and down her arms. “How was your day?”
“Fine. Just wrapping up the information about the search and rescue of a tourist in Katmai National Park.”
“From what I heard, you all did good yesterday.”
Robbie looked at Josiah. “Why didn’t you go with Buddy?”
“The area where the tourist disappeared has a lot of bears. In the summer they are all over Brooks Camp and the surrounding area. Dogs and bears don’t mix, and they prefer that K-9s not be used in the search, at least initially. The personnel working SAR missions will vary depending on where the person went missing and who the person is.”
“Sam and I are ready.” Robbie started for the kitchen door.
“Good. I’ll be out back in a second.” When her son left, Josiah moved to her. “Are we still on for the camping trip this weekend? I know Northern Frontier has been extra busy lately.”
“That’s normal for a summer with so many tourists around. Robbie is counting down the hours until we leave. David has insisted I go and not to worry about Northern Frontier. There are a lot of people who can step in temporarily. Do you still want to go?” Most of the searches were outside of Anchorage, and when that happened, she manned the phones at the office, coordinating and supporting David and the searchers. With her gone a lot because of her job, she hadn’t seen Josiah as much as Robbie had. Josiah had ended up helping Robbie with the puppy at her neighbor’s a few times.
Josiah stared out the window at her son playing with Sam. “Most definitely. Robbie is like a sponge. So eager to learn everything. His enthusiasm is contagious. It’s good to be around him.”
“Then it’s still a go. Friday we leave.”
Josiah went out to the backyard to start the puppy training. She stood at the sink and watched him and Robbie training Sam to obey simple commands. Her heart swelled at the sight. Robbie should have a father who cared about him.
Toward the end of the lesson, Ella went outside to remind them they still needed to go shopping at Outdoor Alaska.
* * *
As Josiah wrapped things up, he caught sight of Ella on the patio and waved. He’d tried to stay away from her after Foster’s capture, but he kept being drawn back to her. And Robbie. The boy reminded him of how he’d been growing up. Eager to learn. Curious about everything. Robbie loved Alaska as much as he did. It was one big outdoor park with so much to offer.
“Are you guys ready to leave?” Ella asked as she crossed the yard to them.
“Yes. I can’t wait to get my own tent.” Robbie grinned from ear to ear, excitement bubbling out of him.
Josiah needed that. To find the joy in life that had been beaten out of him. To truly reconnect with God. “Let’s take my tr
uck. Your gear will easily fit in the back.”
Rush-hour traffic had subsided, and he drove to the main store in less than fifteen minutes. The moment he entered, an employee approached to help them.
Josiah waved the man away. “Thanks, but I’ll take care of this. I know where everything is.” He’d been spending more time in the corporate offices and had lost touch with some of the day-to-day activities of the stores. Maybe he needed to become more involved.
“First we need to pick out a tent.”
Robbie immediately went to an orange, brown and white dome tent. “I like this one.”
Josiah smiled. “That’s a good choice. Big enough for up to four people but not too big.”
Ella’s son beamed. “What’s next?”
An hour later, Josiah pushed a cart toward the front while Ella had a second one. He got in line behind a woman with two kids. A large man, similar in build to Foster, came up behind Ella.
With Robbie next to him, Josiah put his hand on his shoulder. The boy had said little about Foster since the day they’d talked in the bathroom, but from the nightmares he’d had at first, Robbie still needed to talk about it. He, of all people, knew that took time. He wanted to be there for the boy when he did.
When Robbie glanced back at Ella, he stiffened.
Josiah squeezed his shoulder gently. “All right?”
“For a second I thought that man was Foster. He isn’t.” The child took a deep breath. “I’m okay.”
“If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
Robbie slanted a look up at Josiah. “Thanks.”
“Remember the other day I gave you my cell phone number in case something happens to Sam or you’re having a problem with him? Well, you can use it for yourself, too.”
The bright light returned to the boy’s eyes. He thrust out his chest and moved up to the clerk to check out.
After the woman rang up the merchandise, he started to pay for the purchases, but Ella quickly moved forward and handed the woman her credit card.
“I wanted to do this for you and Robbie.”
To Save Her Child Page 13