by J. S. Scott
Demi laughed. “Is there any reason you shouldn’t?”
“I can think of five hundred or more,” I said, referring to the wedding guests.
“Only forty or fifty of them were checking out the skyline. I was there. The only thing anyone saw was a man’s broad back, your fingers at his neck, and his grinding hips.”
“Too much information!” I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to erase the image in my head, the one that was probably more akin to soap operas in the late nineties than modern day terraces in my reality.
“I’m kidding, Amy. You’re worrying over something that won’t even be remembered next week, let alone in another year.”
“Remember Dr. Yardley?”
“Yes. Of course I remember him. He’s the one who was caught fondling his assistant in a bear cage at the state park. How could I forget him?”
“I rest my case.”
She laughed. “Rest sounds good. I’m down for the count. See you Monday.”
“If I’m not there, you’ll know the humiliation was too much.”
“Seven o’clock sharp. Night, Amy.”
The phone went dead, and I collapsed on the bed. Thrumming my fingers against my lip, I thought of Levi. What if he wasn’t the one in my dreams? What if Hayden confided in Jackson, and told him that I suspected Levi of invading my dreams? Maybe Jackson told Levi everything, and Levi simply ran with it.
He did a little more than run with it.
I still wondered if he’d forced his way into my fantasies while I was sleeping, or worse yet, if I’d beckoned him because I was so damn attracted to him.
I’d just slipped on my pajamas and climbed into bed when I received a text from Hayden.
No worries. No regrets. I love you.
I smiled because I understood her message: she was still madly in love with Jackson, even though she was now officially married to him.
I rapidly typed one back:
Older sisters always worry. Now go on your honeymoon!
Be home in three weeks! A lot can happen in three weeks, and when it does, call me!
I tossed my phone aside. A lot could happen in three weeks for sure, but it wasn’t the next few weeks that I was worried about.
Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, and since I was too embarrassed to accept Levi’s invitation to dinner, I’d spend February 14th all alone. Not that I wasn’t used to spending the day for lovers by myself.
I sighed. Maybe I should have at least gone to dinner with him.
Even if I’d pulled him into my dreams by accident, he’d obviously wanted to be there with me.
Tears started to well up, and a single drop filled with liquid regret plopped onto my cheek.
Sometimes, he could be an annoying alpha male, but I was starting to believe that he could also be gentle and sweet. He had been protective out on the terrace when we’d been caught, trying to shield me, and he’d said some pretty endearing things to me.
In return, I’d been a bitch, accusing him of everything I could think of to get him to go away.
My damn defenses. I could have given him a chance to explain.
The problem was, as much as I wanted to get to know him, I was terrified at the same time.
I’d been torn up over too many men in my past.
I’d been hurt.
I’d been used for my money, just like Hayden had.
I’d been ridiculed for carrying around extra weight.
All of those things had caused me to be extremely wary and defensive.
If I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn’t want to be torn up again over a man.
However, I knew in my heart that Levi was more than just any man.
If I trusted him, and then he turned out to be a player, it would do more than tear me up.
I instinctively knew he had the power to destroy me.
Chapter Seven
Levi
I’d never been in love before, so I didn’t have any experience in commitment. I always thought I’d figure it out when the right woman came along, if she ever did walk into my life. It would be easier to deal with the situation, if it happened, if I just didn’t think about it.
I’d always thought the level of commitment would depend on the woman. Maybe that made me out to be a shallow prick, but it had been my truth…until I turned twenty-five. After that, I started having the best damn dreams.
I could see everything clearly now that old memories had rushed back into my mind with a giant fucking bang!
The dreams were hot.
She was hot.
My fantasy woman in my dreams.
But I sure as hell hadn’t expected her to step into my real life.
Amy was the polar opposite of any woman I’d ever dated, which made her all the more desirable. Now that I was certain of Amy’s identity, I was ready to take the next step.
I wanted her.
And I wasn’t planning on backing off.
Okay, maybe I was getting ahead of myself.
But I wasn’t the kind of guy who was going to miss something that would only happen once in a lifetime.
Now I knew exactly how my brother had felt when he first connected with Hayden. I still remember feeling slighted somehow, and highly cynical, when he’d called to tell me about meeting Hayden.
She had been in Jackson’s dreams for a long time. Just as my dream woman had always been in mine.
Problem was, I’d never expected her to appear outside of my slumber.
But once Jackson had found his soulmate, I’d wanted what he had. Not in a malicious, jealous sort of way. Once I’d met Hayden, most of my doubts had fled. And I’d been happy for Jackson.
I guess what had bothered me was the fact that I was Jackson’s older brother, so I was convinced that if I hadn’t already met the curvy, beautiful goddess from my dreams, it wasn’t likely to happen.
And then there was Amy…
Instant connection.
Instant erection.
Instant recognition of some kind.
My heart had been familiar with her immediately.
My brain had taken a while to catch up.
Now that I knew Amy on a personal level, I wanted so much more.
To my disappointment, she seemingly wanted less.
Her body might crave me, just like I lusted after her, but her mind was still saying ‘no.’ Dammit!
I put my arm behind my head, trying to get comfortable on my parents’ couch. So far, I’d had a sleepless night. Maybe it was ridiculous for me to be staying at Mom and Dad’s place, but I’d wanted to be around to see my extended family and friends.
What the hell does it matter where I lay down, anyway.
I wasn’t even sure I could fall asleep.
After Amy had left the terrace, I’d given her some time before I’d followed her up to the suite that I knew she’d rented at the host hotel for the wedding.
I’d gotten as far as the door before I cursed myself and went back downstairs.
Amy needed time, but I wasn’t sure I could give her much more.
There were things she needed to know, but I wasn’t sure if it was going to make her feel better...or worse.
Maybe she accepted the fact that I was psychic.
Hell, maybe she could even deal with the fact that we’d met in some pretty hot, intimate dreams.
But there was more.
So much more to our relationship.
I’d remembered everything, and I wondered how in the hell she was going to handle hearing that.
MMM
Amy
I remembered.
It was like a cloud of confusion exploded in my head the moment I stepped into what I knew was my dream world. I saw the things I’d once seen in my early life dreams.
I remembered everything about us as if there had always been a Levi and Amy.
Did he remember everything about me?
Did he know he’d been appearing in my dreams since we were children?
Did he remember pulling my ponytail?
Did he recall telling me his fears before he left for college? Did he remember sitting outside my door soon after his injury that had ended his pro football hopes, and confessing that he’d driven himself into the ground, all because it was more important to be the best than to settle for anything less?
I squirmed at another flashback then, a memory that I’d convinced myself wasn’t remotely related to any of my other dreams. I suddenly knew that I hadn’t wanted to connect them because that recollection was the most traumatic of them all.
Levi was in Germany.
He was in a hospital bed with injuries. His injuries were severe. He brought me into his nightmares, and told me his fears as his physical body had lain still, his face drained of all color.
He hadn’t really feared dying.
He was more upset because he’d never see me again, and he’d be leaving me all alone.
He’d been worried about what Jackson and his parents would feel if he didn’t make it.
And God, I’d felt those fears like they were my own.
I’d lived them with him.
I’d experienced every last one of them.
He had always been there, tucked away in my dreams.
I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted him to know that I’d always been there with him, or least I thought I had.
I sighed as I tried to see through the darkness now that all of my flashbacks were gone.
The importance of everything I’d just experienced came crashing down on me.
I couldn’t breathe.
I was confused.
And for the very first time, Levi wasn’t here to make all of those emotions go away.
I awoke with a start, feeling a chilling sense of abandonment.
Levi hadn’t shown up in my sleep.
Terribly sad, I grabbed my current journal, and started writing. I wrote everything down as rapidly as I could, desperate to remember what I’d dreamt about, and how it had made me feel.
Startled, I set down my pen and read what I’d written. Why had I dreamt about knowing Levi? How had I failed to see that he’d been part of my life since I was a child?
Did he know me from childhood forward like I knew him or did he only see me as a man sees a woman?
I tried to remember every last detail of my most recent dream.
Had Levi really been in Germany? If not, how in the hell did I know about the injuries he’d sustained there?
It’s a dream, Amy. It’s only a dream.
I revisited my earlier discussion with Jackson. Maybe that’s what fueled my odd memories tonight. Perhaps that’s why he told me about Levi’s limp without going into the full story.
Did Jackson suspect I knew more about his brother than I’d revealed? Had he deliberately said something to trigger my memories?
“Come on, Amy. Why would he do that?” I could almost hear my sister’s voice of reason in my head.
Jackson wouldn’t play mind games. He was very aware of other people’s feelings. He didn’t try to hurt those he cared about, and I knew he cared about me. Hayden had told me he would always look out for me, just like a real brother guards a real sister.
Her words had touched me in a vulnerable place that I hadn’t visited in a long time.
I’d never had a brother, or a male relative that protected me like one. Honestly, all my sister and I had ever had was each other.
You’re losing it, Amy!
I took a deep breath, and tried to calm my chaotic mind.
The more I tried to talk myself down, the more I needed answers.
Without thinking about the consequences or how weird it might sound, I picked up my phone, and scrolled through the contact names until I found Mr. and Mrs. Gillette’s home number.
It’s late. I probably shouldn’t call right now.
But in my present state, it couldn’t wait until morning.
Levi was staying at his parents’ home while their friends and family were in town. Maybe Levi is still awake.
After all, he hadn’t appeared in my dreams tonight.
Since I didn’t have his cell, it was my best shot.
A hoarse voice answered, and I immediately startled at the strained vocals. Mr. Gillette had obviously been sleeping, and my heart sank that I’d woken him. “Mr. Gillette? I’m sorry for the late hour. It’s important. May I speak to…”
“Amy?”
My heart jumped. “Levi?”
“Yes. Is something wrong?” His voice was urgent and concerned.
“No. I mean…I don’t know.” I thinned my lips. “Have you ever been to Germany?”
“Why?”
“I need to know.” I realized how odd this late-night call sounded, so I quickly added, “I’ve been having these dreams for longer than I’d realized, Levi. Or I think I have. I just want to verify that everything I’m remembering is true.”
It still sounded implausible, especially since I’d tried to find a psychic boyfriend after Hayden confessed she’d shared dreams with Jackson for most of their adult lives.
I’d invited a dream man into my slumber, right?
Or, damn it to hell, had he always been there?
It was either one of those things, or I was having a mental breakdown.
Not a pleasant thought.
“Yes. I already know. We’ve known each other for a long time, Amy,” Levi stated, sounding fully awake now.
“What do you mean, you know?”
“I’ll explain in person. Can I come to your suite?”
“Now?” I briefly considered it, but decided it wasn’t a good idea. “Levi, this is important. I need to know if you were in Germany. I may have realized you were in my dreams at a younger age, mostly throughout my entire life, actually. I think I’ve written something down about your time overseas. It was something really bad, unless I’m just losing my mind, and this is all in my head.”
“You probably did write something, Amy, and you’re not going crazy,” he said, sounding sure. “I remember everything, too.”
Chapter Eight
Amy
The wedding was over, so there was no reason to keep my suite until Monday.
I’d rushed Levi off the phone, telling him that I was tired, and didn’t want to meet with him this late.
I lied. I wanted to see him, but when he’d told me he knew about the dream encounters we’d been having our entire life, I’d been so astonished that I’d just hung up with a stupid excuse.
I tossed everything in my hard shell luggage, and drove home like I didn’t have anything better to do at two in the morning.
Honestly, I knew the real reason why my ass was on fire to get home.
As soon as I unpacked the car, I hurried upstairs. Standing on my tiptoes, I palmed the top closet shelf until I felt the old wooden box. From childhood forward, it had always been my special hiding place for things that no longer mattered, and journals that mattered more than I cared to admit.
I’d just started back downstairs when I heard a light peck on my front door. I froze. I couldn’t take another step.
“Amy?”
Rap. Rap. Rap.
“It’s Levi. Can I come in?”
I flipped on the porch light, and stared out at the man who had stormed into my life, and made it into one big hot mess. My heart melted a little, but just a little. I couldn’t deny all of the memories we’d had together, and there had been an awful lot of good ones.
“What do you want, Levi?”
I was a little miffed that he’d just ignored my requests for some time to sleep, even if I had been fudging the truth.
But then, it didn’t surprise me. Levi could be like an out of control bulldozer when he really wanted something.
I almost smiled as I remembered the many times he’d just plowed ahead, not letting anything get in the way of his goals.
“What do I want? I want you, Amy. That should be pretty obvious to you right no
w.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “You’ve been mine since we first met about twenty-three years ago in dreams that never made sense until I laid eyes on you.”
“Have you always been mine?” I called through the closed door, refusing to open it. I could see him fine from where I stood. The glass windows at the top of the door gave me a perfect view.
“Yeah, Amy. I’m pretty damn sure that I’ve always belonged to you, but it took me a long time to piece it all together.” He smiled. “Can I come in? I’d like to walk you through my dreams, and maybe when I’m done, we can look at your journals together.”
“Those journals are private.” I opened the door wide enough to step aside and let him pass. He didn’t enter until I tilted my head and kind of grumbled, “Come in.”
My journals were my own personal emotions, and not all of them were about my dreams.
“Thanks,” he said after only a brief hesitation. “And you’re right. What you’ve written is private, but I hope you’ll share some of what pertains to me, to us.”
“Stop,” I said, catching my breath after his reference to us. “This isn’t some sort of trick, is it? I mean, now that I’ve invited you in, you can’t come back later and insert yourself into my life and dreams whenever you like, right?”
“I think you’ve watched too many vampire movies.” He smirked. “And we were in those dreams because we wanted to be there. I can’t push my way into your dreams.”
“Okay then,” I said, satisfied. We entered my small den that adjoined an open kitchen. “But don’t get any ideas.”
The alpha temporarily reared his head, and he shot me a suggestive look. “I’ve had ideas for over ten years. Maybe in time, you’ll let me share them with you.”
I started to tell him that I’d already been privy to those same ideas, but he knew exactly what I knew. And that fact added plenty of spice to what I hoped would eventually unravel as one hot and sultry romantic night.
Even if I only had one night, now that I remembered our past, I wasn’t going to fight him anymore.
I didn’t want to.
I didn’t need to.
My heart, body, and soul had ached for Levi for so long that I needed to find out what it would be like in real life.