by Lisa Childs
“Are you sure?”
She glanced back to that open bedroom door and swallowed hard, forcing down her doubts and fear. “Yes. I want you to keep that promise you made to Tommy. I want you to find his dad.”
“What do you know about Keith Howard now? Have you kept in touch at all?”
“No. While he was away at college, I moved here to live with my aunt and my cousin.”
“And you never told him where you moved,” he surmised.
“No. After that Dear Jane letter, I didn’t have any contact with him.” And over the years, fear had replaced her wounded pride and bruised heart as the reason for not doing so.
“Do you know where he is?” Chance asked, and in full lawman mode, he fired more questions at her. “Did he move home after he finished college? And where is home? Where did you live before here?”
“For the end of my sophomore year and all of my junior year of high school, I lived in Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri,” she said. She’d lost track of all the places she’d lived before then, traveling from base to base.
“Fort? You’re from a military family?”
She nodded. “My father. He met my mother when he was stationed in Germany, and they moved back there before Tommy was born.”
“So they don’t see much of him?”
“Just in pictures. They’ve sent tickets for us to travel there, but…”
He didn’t prod with anything but his steady, compassionate gaze, and those strong arms wrapped tight around her again.
So she answered his unspoken question. “I haven’t quite gotten over them not being here for me when I needed them.”
“They just left you?” He eased away from her and cupped her shoulders in his big palms.
“I could have gone with them,” she admitted. “But moving out of the country when I was pregnant and had a year of high school left…”
“You’d already had enough on your plate.” His hands squeezed before he released her.
“More than I could handle alone.” She sighed. With him no longer touching her, she felt alone again, as if she had already come to depend on his comfort and strength. “Thank God for Aunt Sue and Belinda. I don’t know what I would have done without their support.”
“I don’t think I’ve met your aunt.” But Belinda had undoubtedly introduced herself.
“Aunt Sue moved away a couple of years ago after she reconnected with an old sweetheart online.” She smiled, thrilled that her aunt had found happiness again since her husband had passed away many years ago.
“With all the social networks, it’s easy to find someone online,” he said. “Have you tried to find Howard?”
“No.” Tommy knew more about the Internet than she did; she only did her homework on the computer.
“You could,” he said. “It probably wouldn’t take you long if you searched networks for his graduating class from high school or from college.”
“I probably could have found him online,” she admitted. But again, fear had held her back. If she’d known where he was, she would have felt compelled to make a decision about contacting him and even guiltier if she’d still chosen to keep him and Tommy apart. “I could now, but I don’t want to know just where he is. I want to know who he is.”
“But if you found him online, you could e-mail him,” Chance pointed out.
“And trust that he’s telling me the truth when I ask him questions?”
He nodded with sudden understanding. “Oh. You don’t want me to just find him for you. You want me to check him out.”
“I can’t tell him about Tommy. I can’t trust him with my son…unless I know he’s worthy of my trust,” she explained. “Tommy’s my whole world. I need to know if Keith is worthy of Tommy.”
“I understand,” Chance assured her.
“You do understand,” she said, releasing a shuddery sigh of relief. “And you don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you,” he said. “And neither does Tommy. He was just upset.”
“But you calmed him down. You comforted him the way you’ve been comforting me tonight,” she said. “Thank you.” But saying the words wasn’t enough to express her gratitude. She rose up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his.
“Jessie…” His voice, and his deep blue eyes, held a warning. But before she could heed it and step back, his arms slid around her back and pulled her closer. He clutched her against the hard muscles of his chest. Then he lowered his head and he kissed her back.
He really kissed her, like she’d been longing for him to do. His lips moved against hers with all the desire that she’d tried denying she felt for him. But watching him these past couple of weeks with Tommy, seeing his patience and kindness, she was afraid that she’d gone beyond just wanting him.
She lifted her arms and wound them around his shoulders and then slid her fingers into the hair at his nape. As she’d thought when she’d first seen him, his hair was just long enough for her to lose her fingers in the softness and thickness of the dark strands. Overwhelmed with pleasure, she gasped, and he deepened their kiss. His tongue slid across her bottom lip and into her mouth.
She shivered, and her pulse raced. While she’d been imagining this kiss for weeks, her daydreams hadn’t come close to the reality. Unsettled, she pulled back. “This is a mistake.”
With a ragged breath, he nodded. His forehead bumped against hers; their heads were still so close together, close enough for them to keep kissing. “It is a mistake,” he agreed.
She winced. “Thanks…”
“I want you,” Chance insisted, his hands shaking slightly as he cupped her face in his big palms. “But I have so much going on—with Matthew coming and this custody battle with Robyn.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling away from him as remorse struck her. “I shouldn’t have asked you to help me. It was selfish when you’re so busy and need to focus on your son.”
Chance caught her hands in his and tugged her back against his chest. “I’m the sheriff, remember? It’s my job to help the citizens of Forest Glen.”
“That’s all I am?”
He sighed. “It’s all you can be. Because, in my personal life, I need to focus only on my son. And you need to focus on yours.”
“Yes,” she agreed, her stomach churning as she considered what she was about to do. “I do need to focus on Tommy.” Finding his dad was about to turn his life, as well as hers, upside down.
“So it wouldn’t be fair for us to start something we may not be able to take any further than…”
“The bedroom?” she finished for him.
He groaned and released her hands. “Don’t tempt me.”
“I should go,” she said. Before she threw herself at him again.
“What about Tommy?”
She glanced toward the open door. The poor kid was so exhausted he hadn’t stirred at all. “I’ll let him sleep and get him in the morning, if that’s okay with you.”
“You could stay, too.”
Desire slammed through her along with shock at his suggestion. “Chance!”
“I’m not asking you to sleep with me,” he assured her, although his eyes glinted with the same desire tingling inside her. “You can use the lower bunk in Matthew’s room.”
“I might as well share your bed.”
“What?” His jaw dropped.
Heat rushed to her face with embarrassment. “I mean—I won’t. But people will think that I have…if my car is parked in your driveway overnight.”
“You care what people think?” he asked, a challenge in his voice.
“I moved to a small town as a pregnant teenager,” she reminded him. “I had to stop myself from caring, so that I could live my life.”
“So live your life.”
If she could live the life she wanted, instead of sharing a bunk bed, she’d be sharing Chance’s bed. With him.
THE CLINK of ceramic against wood drew Chance’s attention from the computer screen as Eleanor
placed a mug of steaming coffee on the corner of his desk. “You don’t need to do that,” he reminded her.
“You look like you could use it,” the older woman said as she dropped into the chair across from him. “Did you have a late night?” Her eyes twinkled as if she already knew the answer to her question.
He had tossed and turned all night because Jessie had slept in a bed just a room away from his. Too close. Too beautiful. Too…desirable.
His chair creaked as he leaned back and sighed. “Jessie was right. This is a small town.”
“But not small-minded,” Eleanor assured him. “Whatever’s going on between the two of you is your business. And hers.”
“And apparently everyone else’s.”
Eleanor chuckled. “People might be curious. They might talk. But they don’t judge.”
He laughed now. “There’s nothing to judge.” Not that he hadn’t been tempted. “I was just helping Jessie out with Tommy. He fell asleep at my house.”
“So she stayed, too?”
“In the bunk with him.” But he would have rather had her share his bed. Even now, as he thought about their kiss, about the softness of her lips, the sweetness of her mouth, his pulse raced.
“You didn’t need to explain anything to me,” his secretary told him.
He grinned. “Yeah, I didn’t. But I’m hoping that you can spread the word. I don’t want tongues wagging about me and Jessie Phillips.”
Eleanor rose from the chair. “You know, it wouldn’t be a bad thing if there was something for those tongues to wag about. Jessie’s a wonderful mother, but a boy should have a man in his life, a father figure.”
“I’m looking for his father,” he said with another glance at his computer screen. Could it have really been this easy? Had he already found him? And why did finding Tommy’s father, Jessie’s high school sweetheart, fill him with this sick feeling, something almost as bitter and impalpable as jealousy?
“Even though you made that promise to Tommy, you really shouldn’t go behind Jessie’s back like this,” Eleanor said with the brutal honesty that Chance appreciated. “If she doesn’t want Tommy to know who his father is, you shouldn’t get involved.”
“She asked me—” He glanced up from the computer monitor and noticed the man leaning against the doorjamb. “Hey.”
“There was no one out front, so I just showed myself back here,” Trenton Sanders explained as he walked into the room.
Chance introduced his secretary to his lawyer and studied his old friend as the two of them shook hands. Either the big-city lawyer had protested too much about his hatred of small towns, or he kept visiting because he was worried about Chance. His gut tightened with dread. Oh, God, did he have bad news he hadn’t wanted to deliver over the phone?
“That coffee smells great.” Trenton flashed his patented charming lawyer grin at Eleanor. “I’d love a cup, too.”
“You don’t have to get his coffee, either,” Chance told his secretary, but she left with a smile and a promise to bring their visitor back a cup. “So what are you doing here?” His stomach knotted even more. “Don’t tell me that Robyn changed her mind. She’s not letting Matthew come for a visit.”
“No, that’s not it,” Trenton assured him as he settled into the chair Eleanor had vacated.
“What is it that brought you up to the boonies again?” he asked, reminding his friend of his earlier comments about the town Chance wanted to call home.
“I’m beginning to understand what you hate about the city,” Trenton admitted. “About the buildings and concrete making you feel as if you can’t breathe.”
Chance grinned. “You’re starting to like it here.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Trenton shuddered. “I just need to get out of the office and the courtroom every once in a while.”
“Yeah,” Chance said with heavy sarcasm. “That worked out well for you in the past.”
“Nearly got me killed in Afghanistan—would have, if not for you,” Trenton said. “I owe you.”
“No, you don’t,” Chance argued as he always did. “You would have done the same for me. So I’m still going to pay you for representing me in this custody battle.”
The lawyer shrugged again. “Whatever. I’m not worried about the bill. I’m worried about winning.”
“Me, too.”
“So listen to your secretary,” Trenton said. “Don’t get involved with this woman.”
“You were eavesdropping?”
Unrepentant, his friend nodded. “Good thing, too. You didn’t tell me anything about her.”
“There’s nothing…” But Chance couldn’t finish the lie.
Trenton sighed. “I take it she’s the redhead I saw you with?”
He nodded.
“And she’s got a kid she’s been keeping away from his father?”
Chance sighed now. “Yeah…”
“If Robyn or her lawyer found that out, do you know how it would look in court—that you’re involved with a woman who’s doing the exact same thing as your ex?”
“We’re not involved,” he said again.
Trenton relaxed in his chair. “Good, because it would be crazy for you to get into a relationship with a woman just like your ex.”
“Yeah, it would be crazy.” Even though Jessie was nothing like Robyn, he couldn’t fall for her—not when both their lives were unsettled. But he worried that it might already be too late.
Chapter Nine
“So how was he?” Belinda asked, peering over the rim of her wineglass.
“Fine,” Jessie replied. “He’s so sweet-natured that he got over being mad at me very quickly.” And because she’d felt so bad, she hadn’t punished Tommy for running away. He was spending the night at Christopher’s this Friday.
“Sweet-natured?” Her cousin gave an unladylike snort of derision. “Well, a guy’s temper definitely improves once you give him what he wants.”
Jessie sighed. “I hope it’s what he wants.”
“He hasn’t called you again?”
“Called me?” Jessie had only had a sip of her wine, not enough to be this confused, but she still pushed the glass toward the center of the coffee table, where a pizza box sat. “I just walked him down to the Johnsons’ before you got here.”
Belinda threw back her blond hair and erupted with laughter. “You’re talking about Tommy!”
“Of course. Who were you talking about?”
Her cousin wiped tears from her green eyes. “I was talking about Sheriff Drayton.” She lifted the wine bottle from the table and topped off Jessie’s glass with the sweet red that she’d sworn would complement their sausage and peppers pizza. “And I want you to talk about him, too. Details, please. I’m living vicariously through you, you know.”
Jessie laughed now. “Then you’re living a pretty boring life.”
“So he was a disappointment?”
Jessie took the wineglass from her cousin’s hand. “I think you’ve had enough of that tonight.” Bee had definitely had more than a sip.
“My first glass,” Belinda reminded her. “C’mon, quit being stingy with the details. Everybody in Forest Glen knows you spent the night at the sheriff’s.”
Jessie shook her head, swinging her ponytail back and forth. “It wasn’t like that and you know it. I was at your house when I called him and found out my son was with him. Tommy fell asleep over there. I stayed until he woke up. That’s all that happened.”
Her cousin studied her through eyes narrowed in skepticism. “Really?”
Unable to lie to her face, Jessie turned away and nodded. “Really.”
“What the hell’s the matter with you?” Belinda said, lightly smacking Jessie’s shoulder. “The man’s gorgeous and interested.”
She couldn’t deny that he was gorgeous. “He’s not interested in me,” she told herself as well as her cousin. “He has a lot going on right now. And so do I.”
“You could have a lot going on with him,
” Belinda persisted. “I saw the way you looked at him at the town council meeting. I don’t blame you. Every woman in Forest Glen, myself included, looks at him like that. But I’ve never seen you do that with anyone else. Ever since you had Tommy, you’ve lived only for him and have never been interested in anything—or anyone—for yourself.”
“That’s not true,” Jessie said defensively. “Raising a child alone takes time and energy, that’s all.” It didn’t need to be that way. Even though Keith hadn’t wanted her to be pregnant, he might have accepted his son if he’d known about him. And he probably would now, once Chance found him and he met Tommy and realized how special the little boy was.
“You need more in your life than your child,” Belinda argued. “Trust me.”
Maybe her cousin was right, because once she told Keith about Tommy, she’d have to give him visitation rights—unless he was so angry that he sued her for full custody of their son—and then she would have time on her own. “I won’t worry about that now,” she said, talking to herself again.
“But you have an opportunity now,” Belinda said. “Because he looks at you the same way you look at him.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jessie shook her head, in denial of her cousin’s claim and her own feelings. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“But I do recognize that look,” Belinda admitted. “It’s all about the attraction and fascination and the fear of falling in love.”
“You don’t understand,” Jessie said.
“No, I don’t. Because even though I got burned, I’d go for it again,” she admitted.
“It?”
“Love.”
Jessie shook her head. “Chance Drayton is not falling for me.”
“Not yet,” Belinda replied. “But I think he could—if you gave him the chance.” She winked at the play on his name.
“He doesn’t want that,” Jessie insisted. “He is not interested in me.” Not beyond that kiss they’d shared—the one that had haunted her nearly every moment since she’d spent the night at his house.