Katie knew where he was going with his inquisition, but she danced around the subject, unprepared to admit the truth out loud to him—or to herself. “Jay showed Mason the picture in the newspaper, just to make sure he believed I was out doing things I shouldn’t be. When I came back that morning, after being with you...” She paused, her eyes dipping to the floor as heat flushed her cheeks. “Jay had his spiel ready. How this would affect Mason negatively, how I had chosen you over him. He laid it on thick, and I believed him.” She raised her gaze back up to meet his. “And I’m so sorry for that. For telling you I couldn’t be with you, for being gullible enough to choose Jay over you.”
Chad nodded. “I know. But I will say, I still don’t understand why you did it this time.”
Katie stared at him quizzically.
“Why did you think, even for a second, that you had to marry him? I understand that you wanted to do right by Mason, I do. But Katie, it’s Jay. He’s been nothing but underhanded and—”
“He threatened to take me to court for custody,” she blurted out.
Chad was quiet, and Katie felt assured in the fact that the idea caused him enough uncertainty to make him think twice about the situation, too. Good. It meant she hadn’t been completely irrational in her fears about it, or her reaction. “He would never win a court battle like that,” he said finally, but his hesitation spoke volumes over his statement.
“Maybe you’re right, but he threatened to use the picture to paint me in a less than favorable light. And we both know lies are his specialty. He made it all sound so damning against me. I panicked. I’m sorry.” Her voice grew softer, humiliated by how selfish and ridiculous she’d been.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” He reached out for her hand. Then he added, “And he never would have won,” and this time, he sounded more confident, squeezing her fingers against his.
“I came to that same conclusion, but not until after your accident. And I told him as much. He didn’t like that.”
“You agreed to go to court for custody?” Chad sounded surprised. She wondered if he was more shocked that she would agree to such a thing, or that she stood up to Jay.
“I told him that if it was a fight he wanted, it was a fight he was going to get.”
A lopsided smirk tugged at the corner of Chad’s mouth. “That’s my girl. And how did he handle that?”
The air evaporated from Katie’s lungs. “He took Mason.”
“He what?” His grin was killed by the lines of incredulousness that appeared on his face.
“Christmas Day. I thought Jay was just taking him overnight; that was the plan. By the time I showed up at his place to pick him up, it was too late. I don’t know where he is, Chad.” The tidal wave of failure that washed through her was all consuming.
Chad pulled his hand from hers, gripping the armrests of his wheelchair so tightly his knuckles gleamed white. If it wouldn’t have been such a struggle and caused him so much pain and effort, Katie was sure he would have stood up and paced the length of the room. “How could you not tell me, Katie?”
She tucked her hands between her knees, feeling suddenly cold. “I figured you had enough to deal with.”
His eyes bore into her, widening with each word she said. “You figured I had—are you serious? Do my parents know? Jillian?”
She shook her head, relieved she hadn’t confided in Elaine the night before. Judging by Chad’s reaction, she had a feeling it wouldn’t have gone over so well.
“At least I wasn’t the last one to know.”
“No one else knows,” she told him.
“And you’ve been in contact with Jay throughout this whole damn thing?”
She nodded. “And Mason. They’re fine, Chad. He’s got them at a cabin rented in a campground or something, but Mase couldn’t give me more details. He’s having fun, thinking it’s a riot to spend time with Jay. So I’m doing my best to make him think there’s nothing wrong.”
Chad’s face hardened, offset by dark eyes and a tightly clenched jaw. “You need to go to the police, Katie. Right now. No more waiting.”
Katie shook her head. “I can’t do that, Chad. Not yet, anyway. I don’t want to put Mason through something like that, not if I don’t have to.”
“But you do have to! Christ, he took your son!” Chad’s hands flew up in exasperation. He stared at her in disbelief, as though she were speaking to him in some foreign language.
Katie stood, pacing. As she passed by Chad’s chair, she said, “You’re right. He did take my son. But Jay is right, too, in a sense. He is his son, too. Jay is reacting to the idea that he could lose Mason, that’s all. I called his bluff. He said he would take me to court, and when I told him to prepare for a custody battle, he responded. It’s a misguided and irrational response, but a response, nonetheless. He’s scared, Chad, and that’s why I don’t want to involve the police.”
“The police could have his cell phone tracked in minutes, Katie. To hell with Jay and his fears. He’s certainly not thinking about your fear right now, is he?”
“I feel like I need to just give him a little bit more time.”
“Time for what? To get further away?” Chad exclaimed.
She sighed. “No, that’s not what I mean. I think I was getting through—I don’t know. I just don’t want Mason to think his father is doing something wrong by taking him somewhere to spend time with him.”
“Katie, he is doing something wrong—”
“Mason wouldn’t understand!” she shouted, louder than she meant to. When she spoke again, her tone had leveled. “It’s the most fun he has had with his father in a long time, Chad. I can’t bring myself to taint that for him. Christ, there has got to be some sort of compromise.”
It was Chad’s turn to let out a frustrated sigh. “I think this has all gone beyond that now, don’t you think? If it’s been since Christmas Day...” When Katie turned around to face him, Chad ran his hand through his hair. “Jesus, Katie. Come here.”
He held his hand out to her, and she closed the gap between them to take it. His fingers interlocked with hers, holding her together the only way he could. He closed his other hand around hers, leaning forward to kiss her knuckles lightly. “He is never going to stop, Katie,” he whispered against her skin. “The jealousy, the threats, the goddamn hissy fits. I want to tell you it will end someday, but I honestly don’t think it will.”
Katie fought back tears, anger and hurt swelling up inside her. “I hate that Mason is in the middle of all this,” she choked out, her strangled voice barely above a whisper.
“I know, babe.” Chad brushed his lips softly against the back of her hand, sounding just as gutted as she did. When his head jerked upward to face her, Katie jumped, thinking she had somehow hurt him. She took a step back, putting distance between them in case she was right. Chad held onto her hand tightly, though, and his eyes stayed locked with hers.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve got an idea,” he told her. “Mason is in the middle of all this, Katie. And maybe that is exactly where he needs to be.”
***
Katie tried Jay’s cell three times—once that evening following her talk with Chad, and twice the following morning—and every call was directed immediately to his voicemail without a preceding ring. He obviously had his cell phone turned off. She tried not to let her mind wander regarding the possible reasons for that, but she didn’t seem to have much control over the direction her imagination wanted to go.
“He told you he would call you today, right?” Chad radiated anxiousness, constantly fidgeting. His fingers tapped the rubber tread of the wheel on his chair, his eyes wandering from one thing to the next in the room, but not necessarily looking at anything in particular.
She nodded. “He didn’t say what time he’d call, just that he would.”
“Well, he has been good on his word so far, so I’m sure your phone will ring soon.” He didn’t sound like he completely believed it, e
ither.
Katie set her paper cup down on the table. She had walked with Chad—slowly but surely, and with the permission of his physiotherapist—to the visitor’s lounge where he’d surprised her the day before. It wasn’t vastly different from the decor or atmosphere of his assigned room, but the lounge had a television hung on the wall and a vending machine supplied with candy, potato chips, and an assortment of granola bars and prepackaged cakes. He’d requested to go there, and Katie figured that, no matter how alike the room seemed compared to his own, it broke the monotony he’d been subjected to over the past weeks of laying in a hospital bed. “I hope you’re right, and that Jay will go for the plan you’ve devised.”
Chad’s wheelchair was parked in the middle of the room—Katie had pushed it down to the lounge as they walked, just in case he was too tired to make the short trek back. He pointed the remote at the television, flipping through the channels mindlessly. “I didn’t really devise anything, Katie. You’d be giving him exactly what he wants, it’s just up to him how he gets it. It’s time for him to be honest, with Mason, and with himself.”
She slowly paced from one side of the room to the other. Chad was right, and the conviction with which he spoke calmed her nerves a bit. “Speaking of being honest...”
“Oh no. I hate it when you start sentences like that.” He turned off the television, tossing the remote onto one of the vinyl chairs that lined the walls. He wheeled his chair around to face her, waiting.
“It’s nothing bad,” she said. “Well, I don’t think it is.”
“Spit it out, Wicken. You’re stalling.”
She hesitated, then swallowed. “I put the farm up for sale.”
Immediately, Chad shook his head. “You don’t have to do that. I’m going to pay you back every dime you dished out for my medical bills, Katie. There is no need to sell—”
“It’s not about the mortgage I put against it, Chad. I know you and I will work out the particulars about money. That’s not important to me.” Katie was well aware of Chad’s efforts to transfer money out of investments and get the ball rolling on returning the money to her, despite her telling him there was no rush. Between the two of them, they had enough funds to make the payments on the loan—for a few months, anyway—without dipping into locked-in savings or investment bonds.
“Then why? That’s your home.”
Katie shrugged. That exact thought had been bouncing around in her head since she’d called the bank to mortgage the place. It was her home. At least, it used to be.
“I think it’s time to let it go. My home isn’t a place anymore. It’s wherever you and Mason are.”
The lines in Chad’s face softened, but she didn’t get the chance to hear his reply. Her cell phone sprang to life in her back pocket, ringing loudly throughout the otherwise silent room. She pulled it out and stared at the display, and her breath caught in her throat. It was now or never.
Chad must have been able to see the apprehension rolling off her in waves because he reached out and pressed his fingertips gently against her wrist. “It’s all going to be okay,” he whispered.
She nodded, willing him to be right. She pressed the button to answer the call. “Hello?”
“Katie, hey. How was your evening?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, disappointed at not hearing Mason’s voice on the line. “Oh, you know. Same old, same old,” she replied through clenched teeth. “Can I talk to Mason?”
“In a few minutes. He’s playing quite happily here at the park, which gives us some time to talk. Have you given some thought to what I said?”
Only every minute of every day since you took him away from me. “I have.” Her heart was pounding in her chest, and Katie took a step backward, lowering herself into one of the chairs. Her knees suddenly felt insufficiently able to hold her up.
“And?”
“And I won’t go to court, or turn you in to the police. We can work out a schedule that works with you and with me so that everyone is happy and gets to see Mason on a regular basis.”
“That seems pretty easy. Too easy, actually. You’ll be staying here in Nashville?”
“I didn’t live in Nashville before all this happened, Jay. But, hell, I will leave Nashville, or stay in Nashville, whatever it takes to end all this fighting, Jay. Just bring Mason back.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Today?”
“One more day.”
Relief crashed down on Katie, and she fought to choke back the sob that obstructed her throat. “Fine, one more day. Tomorrow, at noon. Bring him to the hospital parking lot, and I’ll meet you outside. You don’t have to see Chad, or his parents, or anyone else. It’ll be just me, you, and Mason.”
“That’s it?” Skepticism laced his voice.
Katie glanced up at Chad, whose gaze was steady on her, unmoving. He gave her a silent nod of encouragement when he recognized the spooked look she wore; he knew she needed it. “There’s one more thing. Something I would like you to think about doing. I can’t make you do it, but just think about what I have to say, the same way I’ve thought about what you said.”
“What is it, Katie?” Jay snapped, impatient.
“I want you to tell Mason everything.”
“You what?”
“Tell him everything. You wanted him in the middle of all this, right? You showed him that article and picture in the newspaper. Okay, then. So, tell him everything, not just bits and pieces. Tell your son why you left him and I. Tell him about Liz. Tell him how you hired that photographer and set the whole thing up to make it look like something it wasn’t. Tell him how you took me to Chad’s release party, to flaunt me around like some prize you won at the county fair. If you really, truly think you’re the victim here, Jay, then I want you to tell him about everything. I would prefer for you to do it in front of me, but you never did play by my rules.”
“Why do you want me to do that, Katie?” The venom and gusto had gone out of his voice. Only uncertainty remained, and his hesitancy rejuvenated her. Good, she hoped his mind was wielding thoughts abundantly. It was about time he knew what it was like to have his world tilted on its axis.
“I want you to have to say it all out loud, Jay. And let me know how it sounds to your own ears. If, after you’ve explained the truth to Mason—the real, honest truth—you still think that I have done you wrong, well, at least you’ll have turned my son against me and you’ll be the hero. That’s what you’ve wanted all along, right?”
Katie wasn’t sure she would hear Jay’s response through the loud beating of her own pulse in her ears. She clenched her fist tightly on her lap, a bundle of nervous energy clasped within it.
“Katie—”
“Tomorrow, at noon. Just think about it,” she said in one breath, spitting his own words back at him. She ended the call without saying goodbye.
Chad had navigated his wheelchair over to her, as close as he could get. When Katie turned to him, her bottom lip quivering, he let her crumple forward against the arm of the wheelchair, and he enveloped her in his arms as best as he could. “It’s okay,” he cooed, smoothing her hair with his fingers.
“That may be the hardest thing I have ever done,” she sobbed, a river of tears trailing her cheeks in wild, abstract patterns. “I didn’t even talk to Mason.”
“It’s okay,” Chad said again. “You did the right thing.”
She brought her head up, gawking at him with swollen, wet eyes. “And what if I didn’t?”
Chad reached out and wiped away a teardrop that had made its way to the edge of her jaw. “Katie, Jay is a lot of things, but he’s also a rational and smart man—for the most part, anyway. He’ll see this all for what it is. A way out. A way to start over. It’ll be okay.”
Katie squeezed her eyes closed and held onto the promise in his words. She just hoped he was right.
Chapter Seventeen
It had taken what seemed like a year for noon to roll around, and now, once again, Jay was la
te.
Late, or not coming?
Each minute that ticked by on Katie’s cell phone screen only exacerbated the nasty, vicious cycle of craning her head to see out the big glass doors of the main entrance into the hospital, first left, then right, and left again. Then, she would check to see how much time had passed, and the process would begin again. It was a downward spiral. Time seemed to have slowed to an excruciating crawl, only heightening her anxiety and pushing her closer to believing the fear-laden thoughts that crowded her mind.
She’d made a grave mistake; she could feel it deep within her bones. Many of them, if she were being honest. Surely, she’d only provoked him and made the situation worse by her request. Jay was a ticking time bomb now. Perhaps he always had been, from the beginning, but now there was no denying it. And what if he, from the beginning, had had no intentions of bringing Mason back? What if he’d spent the past few days only traveling further and further away from her, and Katie had blindly allowed it?
She’d been so stupid to believe him. It disgusted her even more to realize that this wasn’t the first time she’d been so gullible when it came to trusting Jay. Hell, she had years of practice. He was a man who had cheated on her, and she’d missed all the warning signs, leaving her devastated when he’d chosen to leave her because of it. Now, though, Katie was wondering if she had, in fact, truly missed the signs, or if she’d just allowed herself to block them from her field of vision so as not to be hurt by the truth.
A lot of good that had done. Jay still left her, and her heart had still been shattered by it. Being blind to Jay’s indiscretions did little to save Katie from heartbreak. It had only made things worse.
Much worse.
She checked the parking lot again, watching the constant stream of vehicles go in and out as the streetlights alternated between red and green at the intersection. None of them resembled the red Mitsubishi Jay drove. She hissed a curse word under her breath, thankful she was alone. The last thing she needed was an audience, no matter what happened when Jay did—or didn’t—arrive.
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