Everything was great.
Right.
Somehow the maid of honor was in his arms, swaying into the wedding waltz, her dress soft and silky under the hands he hadn’t even realized he’d placed on her waist.
“How did you meet Michael?” she asked, still smiling up at him.
He again noticed how lovely her mouth was and forgot the sheer fury she aroused in him. It was, after all, a very distracting mouth. One taste … it would surely rid his tongue of the aftertaste of that awful champagne.
“We’re members of the same squash club. When our original partners stopped playing—” Paul had preferred the gym “—we were both at a loose end, so we teamed up.” That had been six years ago. Despite seeing his business partner every day of his life, Connor realized Michael had proved to be the better friend. He switched off that train of thought before the bleakness that had hovered over him for the past three days descended again.
No Paul or Dana today.
Not even dreaming up grisly plans for revenge.
“Do you work with Suzy?” he asked, determined to get his mind out of the rut it kept drifting back to. Maybe Michael was right and a date with Victoria would be a good distraction.
The smile faded and her eyes turned cool. “I’m an accountant—Michael told you that, remember?”
“That’s right.” No, a date with Victoria would be a very bad idea. “But should you have reminded me? Isn’t that rude?” He gave her a sharklike smile that held no humor.
“Not as impolite as your evident disinterest—you can’t even remember my name.”
Touché. He took in the flare of rosy color on her cheeks, the sparkle of spirit in her eyes. How had he ever thought she was dreary? “Your name is Victoria. And I can’t think why I thought you were a teacher.”
“Perhaps because I know Suzy?”
No, it was that silent reserve, and the way she didn’t hesitate to correct him. He wasn’t accustomed to that—except from his assistant Iris. And that was different; Iris was a friend of his mother’s and had known him for three decades.
“It’s the way you told me off.”
She slanted him an upward glance. “Yesterday or just now? Either way, you deserved it.”
Connor tried to convince himself that yesterday’s scene had been her fault, but he couldn’t shrug off the discomfort that lingered at the memory of the expression in Suzy’s eyes. Telling himself that Victoria had provoked him didn’t wash. He was accountable for his own actions, and the fact that his life was in chaos was irrelevant.
Instead of responding, he simply shrugged.
“I think you need people to stand up to you more often.”
She pursed that luscious mouth again and Connor had a wild desire to shake her out of her righteous complacency.
“Everyone seems to know what I need.” Her lips parted and Connor got the impression she, too, was about to tell him exactly what she thought he needed. Wickedly determined to silence her, he drew her closer into his arms, bent his head and murmured in her ear, “Michael thinks I need a woman.”
Alone with Suzy in the hotel’s honeymoon suite where they’d retreated to mend the flounce of Suzy’s wedding dress, Victoria couldn’t forget the heady excitement that dancing with Connor had aroused—or the words he’d whispered in her ear.
Michael thinks I need a woman.
His touch on her waist … the way he made her feel so fragile and feminine in his arms … the glorious male scent of him that had surrounded her. She shivered.
Heavens, it had been too long since she’d dated if a man she despised could reduce her to quivering desire, she decided acerbically. Victoria pulled the final stitch tight and savagely snapped off the thread. “There, that should hold as long as you don’t put a heel through the hem again.”
“Victoria, I need a favor.”
Glancing up from where she knelt beside Suzy, Victoria met Suzy’s eyes in the floor-to-ceiling mirrored closet doors. “What’s the favor?”
“Don’t feel you have to agree.”
“How bad can it be? Come on, spit it out.”
There was a pause as Victoria arranged the skirts around Suzy’s legs, waiting. Then, “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”
At the hesitant note in Suzy’s voice, Victoria’s attention sharpened. She rocked back on her heels—no easy task given the close-fitting sheath dress she’d chosen to wear. “You can ask me anything—you know that.”
“This is different … it’s difficult. And I’m going to swear you to secrecy if you agree. You can never, ever tell anyone about it.”
Curiouser and curiouser. “Can it be more difficult than asking me to tell your mother you’d driven over her rosebushes? Did I refuse then?” Victoria raised an eyebrow, inviting Suzy to smile with her. “Granted, you didn’t swear me to secrecy that time.”
But Suzy didn’t laugh.
“You can’t be having second thoughts about your wedding?” Victoria’s heart sank at the thought. “You’re not about to run out on Michael, are you?”
Suzy’s blue eyes grew round. “Oh, no! I’d never do that. How could you even think that, Tory? Michael’s everything I ever dreamed of finding.”
The certainty in Suzy’s voice caused a sudden flare of envy. Pushing herself up off the carpet, Victoria suppressed it. She’d made her choices. After a string of disastrous relationships had ended in accusations that she was too ambitious, she’d decided there were more rewarding ways to fill her life.
She had her job. A fantastic job where she’d built up an impressive client list. And she had Suzy, the best and most loyal friend anyone could wish for.
She didn’t need a man … or a wedding.
So why on earth was she envying Suzy?
And realistically what chance did she have of finding the kind of man she wanted? A man who would let her keep the independence she craved, and love her for it? The memory of a pair of hard hands at her waist, a harsh whisper in her ear, stole over her. Certainly not a man like Connor North. Arrogant. Demanding. A man who didn’t even believe in love.
Drawing a shaky breath, Victoria forced herself to focus on Suzy, on the issue at hand rather than on the illusion of finding someone who would love her forever. “I just thought you might’ve belatedly remembered your vow never to marry again.”
“That was years ago.” Suzy waved a dismissive hand and turned to the mirror to study herself. “I’d just come from the lawyer’s office and a horrible fight about the divorce settlement with Thomas. Of course I was feeling a little sore about marriage.”
A little sore? Victoria almost laughed at the understatement but the tension in her friend’s shoulders warned against it. Suzy had studiously avoided weddings for a year after that first disastrous attempt at matrimony.
“I love Michael. I want … need…this time to work.” Suzy spun back, her dress whirling around in a froth of white, and slanted Victoria an imploring look. “You of all people must know that I want what Mum and Dad had.”
How had Suzy unerringly known to pick on the one thing that would silence Victoria?
Suzy’s parents had adored each other—and they’d been loving and incredibly kind. Whenever Victoria’s father had been overcome by a bout of wanderlust, her mother had retreated into a sobbing self-pity. It had been Suzy’s parents who had offered Victoria a bed for the night, cooked meals for her and ensured that she made it to school with her clothes clean and her homework done.
When they’d drowned in a boating accident, Suzy and Victoria had been at university and Victoria felt the double loss almost as acutely as her friend. She would never forget the sanctuary that Suzy’s home had become during her adolescent years. It had saved her, creating a debt she could never repay. Without Suzy and her parents, who knew how she would’ve turned out?
Victoria held her best friend’s gaze. “I hope you find the same happiness your parents had. I think it’s wonderful that you’ve found someone—I just don’t want
you to be hurt again.”
Suzy threw her arms around Victoria. “Relax, Michael is nothing like Thomas.”
Clumsily hugging Suzy back, Victoria stared over her friend’s shoulder at their reflection in the mirror, Suzy so beautiful in her high-necked lacy wedding gown, the hem no longer dragging on the ground.
She wanted Suzy to stay happy forever. She’d hated how Thomas had made bright, bubbly Suzy so miserable. Just like her own father had killed all the joy in her mother …
How she’d resented her mother for allowing it. How she’d wished that her mother had stood up and told her father to leave, never to return—and to stop neglecting them both—rather than weeping pathetically and sinking into depression every time he vanished. If only her mother had been stronger, not so emotionally dependent on the handsome but feckless man she’d married.
Suzy’s arms dropped away. “Stop frowning, Tory. It’s my wedding day, remember?”
Victoria blinked. “How could I forget?” she said wryly, gesturing to their reflections in the mirror. “Your gorgeous dress … the flowers … the suite.”
“Connor arranged the suite—and our honeymoon to Hawaii. It’s his wedding present to us. Wasn’t that generous?”
Victoria had no intention of acknowledging any redeeming qualities in the man. “All this talk of secrets had me concerned. But if you’re truly happy then I have no cause to worry.”
There was an expression in Suzy’s eyes that Victoria had never seen before. A mixture of trepidation and yearning. The sinking feeling returned. “There is something! What is it, Suz? Are you in trouble?”
“Michael knows the reason my marriage to Thomas fell apart was because I couldn’t—” Suzy swallowed visibly “—have a baby.”
“Oh, Suzy.” Victoria took Suzy’s hands in hers. Despite the heating in the honeymoon suite, her friend’s fingers were cold.
“He knows that Thomas and I tried IVF and that it was unsuccessful. So we talked to a specialist. From my medical records, she thinks there’s still a chance I could get pregnant.”
“That’s wonderful!”
“But only if we can find an egg donor,” Suzy finished in a rush, pulling her hands free and, after a quick glance at Victoria, turning away to retrieve her bridal bouquet off the bed behind them.
“You want me to be your donor?” For a moment Victoria wondered what would be involved. Pain. Expense. All sorts of stuff she’d never had to contemplate before. Victoria took in Suzy’s tense figure, the way she hunched over her wedding bouquet as she waited for Victoria’s reply. What was some physical discomfort compared to Suzy’s pain? Suzy had already lost one husband because of her inability to conceive, and while Michael loved her, it would be understandable that she feared his love would diminish as time passed and other couples they knew started to conceive.
Suzy was more than a friend. She was the sister Victoria had never had. Her only family. The person she owed more than she could ever give back. “Of course I’ll do it. Consider it a gift. My wedding gift to you and Michael.” To help this marriage hold together. To bring Suzy the happiness she richly deserved.
Instantly she was enfolded in a fierce hug, and the fragrance from the posy of white roses and gardenias Suzy clutched wafted around them.
“Thank you!” Suzy’s eyes brimmed with tears as she pulled back. “That’s the best gift ever … even if it doesn’t work out and there’s no baby, I’ll never forget this.”
“Miracles have been known to happen. And no one deserves this miracle more than you, Suz.” Victoria felt her own throat clogging up. “Help, now you’re making me cry.”
Suzy gave her a radiant smile. “It’s okay to cry at weddings—so long as it’s the happy kind of crying. Now let’s get back downstairs—I intend to dance the night away.”
Connor wasn’t at the wedding table.
Michael thinks I need a woman. Victoria couldn’t get his mocking words out of her head. Maybe he’d decided to follow the groom’s advice and find a willing female. There would be no shortage of them among the guests.
Searching the dance floor, Victoria couldn’t pick out his dark hair and tall figure, which should have towered above everyone else. She drifted around the edge of the polished wooden floor and finally spotted him standing near the open glass doors that led out onto a wide veranda.
He turned his head as if he knew she was watching him and met her gaze. Without a word, he headed for the doors and Victoria followed automatically, drawn against all good sense.
“So do you want to dance out here in the starlight?” He stood in the shadows of the balcony, leaning against the railing, moonlight casting a strange silver-and-black glow over his face.
Her breath caught in her throat. The music spilled through the doors, a slow, sweet, seductive beat. It would take only two steps to bring her into his arms, to feel the heat of his body close to hers again. No. Madness! “The moon’s too bright tonight to speak of starlight.”
His white teeth glittered as he grinned. “You’re probably right—but then I’m sure you make a career of being right.”
He pushed away from the railing and moved toward her. “So do you concur with Michael, that the warmth of a woman’s body is what I need?” The words cut through the night.
Victoria swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. Why hadn’t she just minded her own business? He wasn’t the kind of man to play with.
“If you don’t want to dance, what are you looking for? Are you here to offer yourself?” he murmured huskily. “It’s supposed to be one of the delights of being the best man, hooking up with the maid of honor. What fun.”
Victoria found nothing amusing in his biting tone. “No.” She backed up but, before she could retreat, his arms came around her and he lowered his head.
“Don’t—” she managed, and then his mouth ground down on hers.
It wasn’t a gentle kiss. Full of whiskey and force and anger, it was unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
Victoria struggled but his grip was tight, pinning her arms at her sides. He moved closer, his thighs thrusting against her softness, making it clear he was aroused.
God.
She fought herself free. “What the hell was that about?”
“I don’t like being manipulated.” He was breathing hard. “I don’t want a woman, understand?”
“You’re insane.” She resisted the urge to retort that he was fooling himself—he was desperate for a woman. For her.
“You’re saying you didn’t come out for exactly that? Conspiring with your friend, hoping to catch me on the rebound?”
“You are such a jerk.” She swung her back on him, determined to leave him out here alone.
He grabbed her and yanked her back. “Not nice.”
This time when his lips descended she knew what was coming—and tensed.
But it was different.
Soft, seductive. His tongue stroked the corners of her mouth until she parted her lips, granting him access. This time he kissed her with a dark desire that stirred wants that had never been woken. Dark, traitorous desires. And when his hands swept up over her arms, down her back, she edged closer, craving more—wishing he’d sweep her off to someplace private where they could spend hours together exploring naked skin and sweet sensations.
By the time he ended the kiss she was ready to do whatever he asked.
Connor North set her away from him with shaking hands. “Now, tell me that wasn’t what you wanted.”
She lifted a hand to her mouth, the fullness of her lips tingling. Damn Connor North. He must surely be aware of his effect on her. Sucking in a shuddering breath, she said, “Don’t try it again or I’ll slap you so hard it’ll leave marks on your face.”
He laughed. “Here—” he thrust a pristine, folded white handkerchief at her “—use this for that other dramatic gesture B-grade girls love. Wipe it across your mouth and make the necessary sounds of disgust.” His eyes glittered wildly in the half light.
/> Ignoring the shaky feeling inside, Victoria quirked one expressive, dark eyebrow. “Girls do that to you often?”
“No … but then the women I know don’t threaten to slap me, either.” His not-so-subtle emphasis of the word women caused color to flame in her face.
She balled the handkerchief in a fist, and he flinched as she raised it to his mouth.
“Stand still.” Her voice was tight. “Better I wipe my lipstick off your mouth.”
The curves of his mouth felt full and sensual under the fabric. “There, I’m done.”
Connor stared down at the red stain on the white cloth and his lips twisted. “You should have left your mark on my mouth.”
He raised his head and Victoria felt the force of his reckless attraction hit her like a surge of current. “Why would I want to do that?” She injected scorn into her voice.
He shrugged carelessly. “It would have given all the gossips something to talk about other than my scurrilous split from Dana.”
“I don’t want to be linked to you.” Victoria was appalled at the idea. “So we’re going to go back to the table and smile like crazy—for Suzy and Michael’s sake. But after today I intend to take great pains to keep as far away from you as possible.”
“That won’t be necessary. You’re hardly my type …” he paused, then added tauntingly “… Elizabeth.”
Victoria spun away and stalked inside and quite spoilt the moment by failing to remind him that her name was Victoria.
Three
August, present day, two years later
Late on Monday afternoon, Connor walked out of the morgue in the small Northland town where the bodies had been taken and gulped in a lungful of crisp, fresh air. Michael. The face he’d known so well in life had been unrecognizable in death. And all the dazzling laughter had left Suzy forever. Connor craved the deep, cleansing peace of tears.
But grown men didn’t cry.
Nor did he have time to grieve. Picking up his pace, he jogged across the car park to where the Maserati waited.
But once inside, he sat motionless, staring blindly through the windshield.
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