“That would be so great.”
“Kayani is willing to take care of the horses and the house while we’re here. I’ve spoken to him about it already. He thinks it would be good for John-John to broaden his horizons.”
“And John-John? What does he think?”
“I haven’t talked to him yet. I wanted to give him a chance to experience life in the big city for a week or so. It’s quite a change from what he’s used to. He may not like it. And it’s as much his decision as mine.”
I nod. Then, “What’s the other reason?”
“What?”
“You said rethinking your decision to stay on the reservation was one of the reasons you’re here. What’s the other?”
He stares into the fire, and something in the set of his jaw gives it away. Still, I won’t say it first. I can’t.
Frey lets another long moment pass. “You,” he says at last. “I came back for you.”
His words hang in the air. They may as well be in blazing neon over the fireplace.
I don’t know what to say. So, for once, I exercise restraint and say nothing.
Frey looks up at me from his seat on the couch. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
Still, no intelligible response springs to mind.
Frey smiles. “I’ve rendered you speechless.”
I drop down beside him. “You have.”
He releases a deep breath. “I realize you and Stephen have gotten close. But he’s human. Do you really think you can make it work for the long term?”
“Can anyone make anything work long term? My parents are the only couple their age I know that have been together as long as they have. And that wasn’t easy. I remember how hard it was after my brother died. And there were other times. Things my parents didn’t know I knew. My father had an affair once. I thought he’d broken my mother’s heart into so many pieces, she’d never be able to put it back together. But they survived. They got stronger.”
“Because they loved each other.” Frey’s soft voice is like a caress. “No one exasperates me the way you do. Or tests me the way you do. Or completes me the way you do. You have the most generous heart of anyone I know. I want John-John to learn from you. I can’t think of a better role model. It took being away from you to make me realize how much I need you to be part of our lives.”
His words slow, then stop abruptly. He’s facing away from me as if afraid to see how I’m reacting. He shouldn’t worry. I’ve never been so touched. I turn his chin gently so I can read his eyes.
“I will always be a part of John-John’s life. As long as you let me. I love that little boy.” I let my hand drop and the motion makes light reflect off Sani’s ring, a spark that seems to penetrate the haze of confusion whirling in my head.
“You and I have been close for a long time. We’ve been through a lot together. You are the one I go to when I’m in trouble and you’ve never turned me away. Maybe you think you’re in love with me. But you’re emotional now because of John-John and the huge responsibility you’ve taken on.”
Frey stirs, ready to respond, but I have to get this out.
I place a finger over his lips. “It would be easy after a day like today to jump into a relationship with you. You and John-John are the family I can never have. But I want more. I want a partner who loves me the way my father loves my mother. Is it Stephen? I don’t know yet. It’s still too new. But I don’t think it’s you. Not now. Not yet.”
The corners of Frey’s mouth turn up in a wry smile. He kisses the tip of my finger. “Should I have started off with ‘I love you’?”
“It would have helped.”
He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. I don’t resist but let my head rest against his chest. “Does that mean you’ll still go on play dates this week with John-John and me?”
I close my eyes, breathing in his smell, listening to his heart, nestling closer. Feeling safe. “Try and stop me.”
* * *
REMARKABLY, WE MANAGE TO GET THROUGH THE NEXT few days of Frey’s visit without another bombshell being dropped. I handle my office thing in the mornings (even fugitives lay low during the holidays), and the afternoons are spent showing John-John around San Diego. He loves the ocean, is spellbound by it. The weather cooperates by giving us two afternoons of bright sun so we can gather seashells and make sand castles. By the end of each day, his little fists are full of treasures that he can take home with him. Tiny shells, glass polished by the sea, a perfect starfish. In my mind’s eye, I picture these prizes on the bookcase in his living room, next to the pictures of his mother, and bits of rocks and feathers he’d gathered on his daily rides. It makes me happy to know this visit will become part of his memories, too.
But then I am alone, sitting in my car, staring at the ring on my hand. I’ve just dropped Frey and John-John off at the airport. We parted with hugs and kisses and, like another family departure just a while ago, promises of visits to come.
Another family.
I like the sound of that.
The airport security guard is approaching, waving and telling me to move on. It snaps me back and I put the car in gear. Time to get back to another reality.
Stephen will be home tomorrow.
CHAPTER 10
THE COTTAGE IS SPIT-SHINED. CLEAN SHEETS ON the bed, fresh towels in the bathroom, some cheese and bread in the refrigerator in case Stephen is hungry, a new exotic preparation guaranteed to make that big moment even bigger sitting on the nightstand.
I’m looking at that now, shaking my head. This may be overkill. We’ve never needed any outside stimulant to make that big moment bigger. I’m not sure we could take it if it did.
I slide it into a nightstand drawer, feeling foolish for having spent money on such nonsense.
Besides, I’m more than ready for Stephen. We’ve been apart for two weeks.
For the tenth time in as many minutes, I glance at my watch. I’m picking him up at the airport at two. It’s one. I’m nervous—no, it’s more like anxious, and I have no idea why. Since we met, we’ve been inseparable. Only when he’s sent on assignment, like this one with the president, have we slept apart. When he’s in town, we’re either at my place or his. Every night.
I suppose we’re in that first flush, “can’t get enough of each other” phase. We met under very unusual circumstances. Stephen had been kidnapped by the tribunal—still not exactly sure what that bunch is all about—to ensure my presence at a trial where I had to defend myself against a charge of murder. The victim? The black witch Belinda Burke. It didn’t exactly turn out the way my “prosecutor” intended. In fact, when all the facts were known, he was in as much trouble as I was. But as is so often the case with otherworldly beings, it didn’t end with a verdict of not guilty. That same prosecutor attacked Stephen and me when we returned to Earth. We killed him together.
That’s what I meant when I told Frey a life-and-death battle against a godlike demon tends to forge bonds. During the entire time we were together on that “adventure,” Stephen didn’t flinch or turn away from what I was. And when we were safe, back on Earth, he stayed with me.
Is that love?
Yes.
I think so . . .
I don’t know.
Damn it, Frey.
I give myself a mental thump. Bringing John-John here, giving me a glimpse of what the three of us could share, has burrowed into my subconscious like a tick. Frey is smart. He knew exactly what he was doing. After that one conversation, he never again mentioned love or sharing a life with him. He didn’t need to. The time he and John-John and I spent together was magical. It implanted the notion that it was possible for me to have a family, a family that included a child. A notion I’d given up on.
Cunning.
From downstairs, the trill of my cell phone.
I jump up and run to get it.
“Hey, you,” a familiar voice says. “Where are you? I thought you were coming to pick me up?”
/> I shoot a startled glance toward the mantel clock. It’s after two. Shit.
“Oh my god, Stephen. I’m sorry. My watch must have stopped.” A lie. I was lost in my daydream.
“Well, get over here, girl. I can’t wait to see you.” A pause. “No. I have a better idea. I’ll take a cab. It’ll be faster.”
“Are you sure?”
“Just make sure you’re naked and ready when I get there.”
“I’m ready now. I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too. See you in a few minutes.”
Perfect timing, Stephen. You’re just the antidote I need to chase Frey’s fantasies right out of my head.
* * *
I ROLL OVER AND SMILE DOWN AT STEPHEN. HIS EYES are closed but I know he’s not sleeping. His lips are curled in a little smile. Satisfied. Spent.
His head rests on the pillow, his right arm curled up behind it. He doesn’t look any worse for the two weeks he’s been gone—a little thinner maybe, but that only accentuates the square cut of his jaw, the razor-sharp cheekbones that look so good on camera. His hair is mussed, longer than I’ve seen it, golden blond touched on the temples with silver. It gives him an air of quiet confidence, of maturity that in spite of his young thirty-some years, attracts viewers and makes his evening news show one of the most watched in Southern California.
I brush a lock of that hair gently off his forehead. “Are you thirsty? Hungry? God, you must be. We’ve been at it for hours.”
He opens his eyes and grins up at me. “Have we? You make me lose track of time.” He glances toward the slider. “When did it get dark?”
I laugh and sit up. “I have some bread and cheese downstairs. Not much. But I figured you’d want to go to dinner at some point.”
He pulls me back down against his chest. “Not yet.” His voice is gruff. “We have two weeks to make up for.”
I slide my hand down between his legs. “You’re hard.”
His hand travels down my stomach, fingers stroke, probe. “You’re wet.” He brushes his lips against mine. “Can you go again?”
“Chosen One, remember? Stamina woman.”
He lifts his chin. “What about you? Are you thirsty?”
An offering. I realize I am. I nuzzle close, touch the spot with the tip of my tongue. I listen for his heartbeat, for the pulse of his blood. His excitement builds. I feel it, not only in the hardness of his erection, but in the quickening of his blood.
I straddle him, pin his shoulders to the bed with my hands, his hips with my knees. I lower my own hips, advancing, retreating, until I have him completely inside me and he’s groaning with impatience. He wants to thrust up, but I don’t let him.
Until the moment I break the skin. His back arches, he gasps and moans. But he doesn’t fight. He surrenders. To the pleasure, to the rhythm, to the vampire.
His blood tastes of cold desert air and snow. Simple food. A bit of fear. Longing. I’m there in his sleepless nights.
The realization that I’ve become a part of him fills me with sudden alarm. Then, confusion. Isn’t this what I’ve wanted?
He’s nearing climax. His body tenses, his hands grip my hips and he forces me down, deep. I’m swept up, too. I stop drinking and meet his movements with my own—frenzied, turbulent, using the overpowering physical sensation of a mind-numbing climax to shatter the uncertainty.
CHAPTER 11
STEPHEN AND I FINALLY COME UP FOR AIR. WE’RE downstairs at the kitchen table. Stephen wolfs down a cheese sandwich like it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten. Makes me wish I could share that simple pleasure with him.
Nothing different here. Frey eats, too, you know.
The voice unwanted, unbidden whispers in my ear.
So what now? I’m comparing Stephen with Frey?
“Something wrong?” Stephen’s eyes are on me. “You look upset.”
I shake away the specter with a shake of my head. “No. Just wishing I could share that sandwich. It looks good.”
“It is. Got to rebuild my strength. You took a lot out of me, you know.”
He leans toward me and I meet him. Our lips brush. He whispers, “I can’t believe how amazing sex is with you. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I think you may be ruining me for anyone else.”
Anyone else? I pull back a little.
He catches it. Takes my hand. “That may not have come out right.”
“Is there something I should know?”
“God, no. In fact, I have something to ask you. I’m hoping it’s something you’ll like.”
Excitement shines from his eyes. I hope panic isn’t shining from mine. “What is it?”
He pushes his chair back and takes my hand to pull me up with him as he stands. At least he isn’t getting down on one knee.
“I’ve had a job offer. A great job offer.”
“What kind of job?” An automatic response to hide the confusion rattling around in my head. I don’t know whether to feel relief or disappointment. What was I expecting? One moment I’m insulted because I perceived him to be comparing me with someone else in his life, the next I’m aggravated because it’s a job offer he’s excited about and not me.
What is wrong with me?
Thank god he can’t read my thoughts. He’d be suffering whiplash. He’s still talking, hands windmilling the air.
“The network recommended me for the post of White House liaison. This junket was to see how I got along with the Press Corps, with the president. He’s given the thumbs-up. The job is mine if I want it.”
He’s running out of air. He breathes in, exhales a forceful breath. “What do you think, Anna?”
“It sounds great. But that would be quite a commute wouldn’t it?”
He laughs. “Yeah, it certainly would. But I won’t be commuting. If I take the job, it’s full time. I’d have to quit the local affiliate. I’d be stationed with the network bureau in Washington.”
He doesn’t give me time to process what he’s said before adding, “I want the job, Anna. And I want you to come with me. I want us to live together in DC. Think of it. For a reporter, there couldn’t be a better or a more exciting assignment. A front-row seat to history in the making. And we’d be right there in the middle of the action.”
I turn my face away. I have to. It’s an impossible situation. I couldn’t leave San Diego. How could I? Everything I know is here. Stephen is looking at this as if I’m human. He sees the simple obstacles of moving—selling or renting my home, giving up my business. Things easily overcome. But there are other things, things much more complicated. I’d have to find a place in Washington to feed, introduce myself to a new supernatural community, not to mention a new mortal one.
He picks up on my reticence. “I shouldn’t have sprung this on you. I know it’s a lot to process. But you have no family tying you to San Diego now. And it’s a much shorter flight to Europe from the East Coast than the West.”
“Stephen, there’s more—”
“Your business. I understand it wouldn’t be easy to give that up. You and David are friends as well as partners. But you could find something to do in Washington. Maybe not as exciting as what you do now. Police work, or working for a private detective agency. Plenty of sleuthing to do in the land of political intrigue.”
He’s not letting me get a word in. Maybe in his excitement he’s forgotten that we don’t have a normal girlfriend/boyfriend situation. Maybe he’s so excited about the big boost to his career, so flattered to have the opportunity that he’s blind to everything else. Should I burst his bubble now? Or should I let him go on thinking that there might be a chance I’d actually be able to make a move like that with him?
Like with Frey a few nights ago, I’m dumbstruck. Why is this happening now?
“Hey. Is that a new ring? It’s beautiful. A Christmas present?”
I don’t realize I’ve been twisting Sani’s ring around my finger until Stephen mentions it. He takes my hand and holds it up for a closer look. “Si
lver and turquoise? Really nice craftsmanship. Native American?”
It’s such an abrupt change of subject, I bark a little laugh. It comes out forced and self-conscious to my ear but evidently not to Stephen’s. His gaze remains curious. “Navajo. I didn’t realize you knew anything about Native American jewelry.”
“It’s Susan’s passion. I guess I’ve picked up a few things along the way.”
Susan is his sister. A witch with the Watcher organization and one of the reasons we met. She and her sister witches made it possible for me to penetrate the astral plain and dispose of Belinda Burke. Because of that connection, Stephen was kidnapped and held to assure my presence at the “trial.”
“Does Susan know of your job offer?”
He shakes his head. “I plan to talk to her tomorrow.” He pulls me close to him. “Tonight is for us.”
Then we’re kissing and one thing leads to another. We don’t make it upstairs to the bed this time, the couch in the living room is convenient and comfortable.
He is right about one thing. The sex Stephen and I have is certainly remarkable. Maybe the best sex ever.
You haven’t given Frey a chance. That damnable voice is back. It’s been too long. You thought sex with him was pretty damn good, too.
I almost say shut the fuck up, out loud, until I catch myself.
And then Stephen is busy with fingers and tongue and I don’t have to.
CHAPTER 12
STEPHEN HAS JUST LEFT TO SEE HIS SISTER AND I’M suffering from sensory overload. His smell fills my nostrils, the warmth of lovemaking and feeding sends heat to my skin.
Still, I didn’t get up to see him out. I couldn’t. Very little sleep and a body numb from a lot of sex leaves me inert, snuggled under the covers while Stephen jumps out of bed, showers, and takes off with the promise to be back before dark.
Where is he getting the energy? A day in transit to get home, a night of energetic lovemaking, very little food, no coffee even, and he’s bright and chipper and whistling his way out the door.
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