“Admiring you from afar is probably the closest I’ve come to feeling something in a long time,” he said. “I don’t want to mess that up.”
I nodded, sensing that I’d pushed far enough. “I’m proud of you for today. Your probe launcher. And telling me about your family…thanks for that. It feels good to be trusted by you.”
“I’d trust you with my life.”
“I’d do the same.”
He sat up and we faced each other, the stars forgotten.
“Tell me something intimate about you,” he said.
“Intimate?”
“Something personal. Something no one else knows.”
Butterflies clamored to attention in my stomach. Aiden didn’t have to touch me to melt me into a puddle.
The sadness came back in a wave, hitting me with a force so powerful it shook me inside. I knew what I wanted to tell him about, but it was hard to go there.
“My dad was always my hero,” I said, pulling my knees up to my chest. “We never had much, but I didn’t know that when I was a kid. He played make-believe with us and…it’s hard to put into words. He was just there, in a way my mom never was. He laughed at our silly stories and read to us. And he took us out treasure hunting. We’d drive around in his old truck and find good stuff that people were throwing away. We’d scrap the metal and swap other stuff. I thought it was pure magic that we could leave in the morning with no money and make enough treasure hunting to buy groceries for a week.” I shook my head and smiled ruefully.
Aiden was still, watching me intently as I spoke. I took a deep breath and continued.
“And then when school started my sixth-grade year, someone who’d seen me treasure hunting with Dad called me a trash picker. Kids can be horrible, and we never wore the right clothes or anything, so that just made it so much worse. I didn’t want to go treasure hunting anymore because I was embarrassed. My dad said he understood, but…I’d give anything to go back and sit beside him in that truck again.” My throat tightened and I spoke past the lump in my throat. “I didn’t know then…I just didn’t know. I was thirteen when he came home from work one day saying his chest hurt and his arm was numb. My mom wanted him to go to the doctor. We all did, because Dad was never sick. He never complained. But he didn’t have health insurance because we couldn’t afford it. He died of a heart attack that night in his sleep.”
Aiden’s expression dropped with sadness. “I’m sorry, Drew. I didn’t know that.”
I tightened my hold around my legs, pulling them tightly to my chest. A couple tears had fallen, but I left them on my cheeks. “I still have so much shame over it,” I admitted. “I might not have lost my dad if we weren’t poor. That’s the personal thing I’m telling you. Not that I lost my dad, but that I’m ashamed. It feels like such a betrayal of him and how hard he worked for us.”
“Drew.” Aiden’s tone was soft and full of feeling. It made my eyes well with fresh tears. “It’s all right to feel that way. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love him.”
“I know. I’ve been telling myself that for a long time now, but the truth still cuts deep. I’ve never told anyone I feel this way. Not even Ashley.”
“That’s your sister?”
I nodded. “I think she feels like I do, but we don’t talk about it much. We both feel a lot of shame over where we came from. Not just because we didn’t have money, but because our mom is…embarrassing, I guess. We could never have friends over because the house was always trashed.”
“She took the loss of your dad pretty rough?”
“Yeah.”
We sat alone with our thoughts for a minute before Aiden spoke again. “Today was a great day for me. The probes were good, but this…this is better.”
I lay back again, finally feeling content. The buzz of desire was still there, but it wasn’t as loud now. Tonight’s closeness wouldn’t be physical, but we’d gotten somewhere.
“Can we stay a bit longer?” I asked.
“I’ll stay all night if you want.” He lay down on his side of the truck’s bed.
I laughed into the warm night air. “Then the others will think we slept together.”
“They’re gonna think that anyway.”
I sank into drowsy relaxation, my voice taking on a sleepy tone. “Aiden, I outran a tornado today. If we’re gonna top that excitement tomorrow, I think you’ll have to touch me.”
He groaned and turned to look at me. “Stop that shit, Drew, it’s pure torture.”
I forced myself to drop it and enjoy the time alone with him for a few more minutes. It wasn’t long until we got back into the truck and drove back to the motel. Aiden walked me to the door of my room, folding his arms when I turned to say good night. He was taking this no-touching thing very seriously.
“ ’Night, Drew.”
“Good night.”
The swirling emotion in his eyes told me there was a lot left unsaid between us. But I walked through the door and closed it behind me, still giddy from our time together.
He thought I was beautiful. He wanted me. For now, that was enough.
Chapter 13
Drew
Over the course of the next week, I found myself disappointed in the fair weather. Clear skies meant no storms, which made for some bored storm chasers. We went out several days, but ended up just driving and never getting anything more than rainfall.
On one of our days at the campground, I offered haircuts to anyone who needed one. I’d learned how to cut hair at the salon and I’d been dying to give Millie a cut that would flatter her. Her black curls were pretty, but too shaggy and heavy for her delicate face. She took me up on the offer, and Murph did, too.
The one person whose hair I was desperate to get my hands in said he didn’t need a haircut. The stormy look in Aiden’s eyes when he refused me and then left for a hike confirmed that it would’ve been a sensual experience for him, too. If I’d been able to stand between his legs while he sat, I was confident I could change his mind about touching me.
It was on our seventh non-stormy day in a row that I found myself spending several hours with Dot at her motorhome. She’d made chicken salad for lunch and we were working our way through a pitcher of sweet tea while I did her hair.
“Can you give me a nice curl helmet?” she asked me. “That’s what the girl who does my hair at home calls it.”
I smiled. “I can. The cut turned out really nice.”
“Give me a nice big helmet,” she said. “And don’t hold back on the hairspray.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“So why aren’t you having a lazy day in bed with G.I. Joe?”
“He doesn’t think we should be in bed together.” I tested out my curling iron and started on Dot’s hair, which was white and wild after being blow-dried.
“Huh. And you tried to persuade him?”
I shrugged. “Sort of. We talked about it.”
Dot gave a disgusted sigh. “Well, there’s your problem. You need to shake your ass for him. Show him what he’s missing.”
“I’m not much of an ass-shaker,” I said, laughing.
“If I had your ass, I’d be shaking it around the clock. Best enjoy it while you’ve got it, honey. My ass looks like cottage cheese these days.”
Being around Dot reminded me of the salon, where nothing was off-limits. I’d missed being part of these conversations.
“You’ll have to shake it for your husband tonight,” I said. “With your sexy new hair and all.”
“We’re old. We’ll be in bed not long after the sun goes down.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I probably will be, too.”
Dot turned to look at me as soon as I finished one of her curls. “Try harder, Drew. You want him, don’t you?”
I nodded.
“And he wants you, too. He said so, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I think you need each other.”
Her words hit me like a slap in the face. M
aybe Aiden and I did need each other. We were both wounded and lonely. I needed to discover sex with a man other than the one I’d lost my virginity to. He needed to realize that feeling something during sex was actually a good thing.
Maybe we weren’t meant to fall in love and be together forever. Maybe we were meant to heal each other during this trip and come out of it surer of ourselves.
There was no man I trusted like Aiden to take care of me. If I needed to go slow or changed my mind at the last minute, I knew he’d be okay with it. There was no better man to help me move on with my life by rediscovering sex.
“You may be onto something, Dot,” I murmured.
She hummed her agreement. “You don’t live for seventy-one years without picking up a thing or two along the way.”
“I’ll try shaking my ass,” I said, grinning. “Just a little.”
I’d finished Dot’s hair and was reading in a lawn chair beneath the shade of the large oak tree on our lot when Aiden returned to camp, soaked from head to toe in sweat.
“Are you okay?” I asked, putting my book down and sitting up.
“Yeah. It’s just hot. Did twelve miles.”
He slid his pack to the ground and sat down in a lawn chair across from me. A droplet of sweat fell from his hair onto his bristled cheek and I resisted the urge to jump out of my chair and onto his lap to wipe it away.
He did look like G.I. Joe right now. His sweaty olive-green shirt outlined the lines of muscles on his chest. The camo pants he had on were well-worn, as were his dark brown hiking boots.
“You look hungry,” he said, clearly trying not to smile.
He was teasing me for looking at him. I decided to just own it. “I am.”
“I’m gonna shower and then go get lunch. You want to join me?”
“For the shower or the lunch?”
He smiled and sighed deeply, reaching for his crotch to make a subtle adjustment.
“Lunch,” he said, his eyes locked on mine.
He was used to me jumping at his every offer. This time I’d give him a taste of his own medicine.
“Nah, I’m good,” I said, picking up my book.
He pressed his lips together and I wondered if that was his disappointed look.
“You want me to bring you something back?” he asked, getting up from his chair.
“No, thanks. I’m going out with Millie tonight and I think we’ll eat there.”
Aiden arched his brows in question. “Out? Where?”
“I’m not sure. She just asked if I wanted to earlier and I said sure.”
“What, in the Funnel Finder?” His lopsided grin was so damn cute.
I shrugged. “Guess so.”
“We can take my truck.”
“What if it’s girls’ night out?”
“You guys can talk about tampons and shit all you want.”
I laughed at his serious expression. “What if we want to talk about men? Or pick some up?”
He narrowed his eyes. “It’ll be hard to pick men up with me right next to you.”
I wanted to be indignant, but I couldn’t. Instead I was warm from the thought of him being next to me all evening.
“Suit yourself,” I said, turning back to my book.
He picked up his pack, took it into his camper, and emerged a minute later with a mesh bag of shower supplies slung over his shoulder.
I read a few sentences in my book, but had to go back and read them again. And then again, because I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything but the thought of Aiden’s sweaty, naked body beneath hot jets of shower water.
—
We went to Jack’s, a low-key sports bar in the nearest town. The mostly male crowd was glued to two big-screen TVs showing baseball games.
Since I’d cut her hair, Millie had ditched the beret and was letting the world see her dark curls. She was petite and very pretty, but I sensed she didn’t think men would find her worth a second glance.
I was giddy inside when a guy at the table next to us struck up a conversation with her.
Aiden leaned close and spoke to me in a low tone. “Good thing I came. You look so sexy tonight you would’ve been fighting guys off.”
I arched a brow in amusement. “Think so? My V-neck T-shirt and old jeans are that hot?”
“Fuck yeah they are. Your cleavage is enough to make a grown man cry, Drew. And you smell like you wanna get fucked.”
My nipples hardened and I crossed my arms to cover them. “Is that what perfume signifies, then?”
“That one, on you? Hell yes.”
I leaned in and spoke in his ear softly, making sure he could feel my breath on his skin. “At least tell me you’re hard right now.”
“I’m surprised the table’s not sticking up in the air from the force of my erection, baby.”
My mouth dropped open and my cheeks heated. Just hearing him call me “baby” was enough to create a pulse of arousal between my legs.
“You’re a tease,” I said, leveling a glare at him.
He furrowed his brow. “You want me to stop?”
“No.”
His lips curved up in a satisfied smile. I leaned forward to speak in his ear, brushing my lips against it this time. “Did you think about me in the shower today?”
His deep, soft groan answered my question.
“Will you two just get it on already?” Millie snapped from across the table.
“What’s it to you?” Aiden said, sounding amused.
“It’s painful to watch you guys flirt so shamelessly and never take it all the way. We all know you’d be good for each other.”
Aiden cleared his throat nervously. Our waitress returned, saving him from having to respond.
We shared hot wings and nachos and made small talk about Millie’s postgrad program and the forecast for the upcoming few days. There was a storm developing that looked promising for spawning a tornado. I was feeling an itch to see one again already.
The campground was quiet when we got back. Darkness had settled, and Millie headed into the brightly lit motorhome.
“You feel like hanging out?” Aiden asked. “We could watch a movie or something.”
“Sure.”
He opened the door to his camper and waited for me to step inside. My heart raced as I passed him.
When he stepped in, I thought of Dot’s encouragement from this afternoon. I wasn’t going to shake my ass unless I got desperate. I hoped it would take less than that to convince Aiden we should live in the moment on this trip and give in to what we both wanted.
Only the moonlight and the faint glow of an outside light mounted on a pole nearby illuminated the inside of the camper. I stared at the outline of Aiden’s broad shoulders, my gaze shifting to his eyes as he stepped toward me.
“Aiden,” I said softly. “Touch me. Please.”
“One touch won’t be enough.” His low tone made me consider closing the distance between us and physically throwing myself at him.
“I want your hands on me,” I said. “You say you want me, and here I am. Make me feel good, Aiden. You’re the only one who can.”
“You’re a nice girl, Drew.” His eyes were dark and sensual as he spoke in a low tone. “I don’t think you want me slapping your ass and pulling your hair while I whisper dirty things in your ear.”
“Yes…I do.” I could barely get the words out, my cheeks burning as I said them.
It was exactly what I wanted—hard, sweaty sex that would satisfy the ache I felt every time I looked at him.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” he cautioned.
“Don’t make me want things you aren’t willing to do.”
He came closer, a predatory gleam in his narrowed eyes. I took a step back, feeling a tall kitchen cabinet against my back. He took another step, heat radiating from his powerful frame. When he put his palms on the cabinet next to my shoulders, effectively boxing me in, I sucked in a breath, waiting. And wanting.
My h
eart raced as he leaned in. I was desperate for him to touch me. Anywhere would do. I just wanted Aiden’s hands on my skin.
“You’re playing with fire,” he said, his lips just inches from mine. My face was turned up, giving him the universal “kiss me” signal.
“Aren’t we both?” I managed.
He pushed forward on his hands and then moved back suddenly.
“Get out of here, Drew, before I do something crazy.”
“Why would it be crazy? Just because it’s me?”
“Yes.” He cupped the back of his neck with both hands and my gaze shot to the rippling muscles on his arms. “I’m not gonna fuck you up against a wall like you’re some cheap whore, Drew. You’re way too good for that.”
“I’m tired of being too good.”
He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. The outline of his erection was visible against the dark fabric of his jeans.
“Then tonight I’ll be good for both of us,” he said. “Trust me, I’m saving you from feeling like shit later. You need to go.”
Anger and frustration coursed through me. I’d done everything in my power, but it wasn’t enough. He didn’t want me enough to give in.
“I’m going.” I stalked over to the door. “And I’m done with this. No more comments, no more innuendo. It’s all storm chasing for you and me from here on out.”
I opened the door and left before he could respond. Tears of humiliation pricked at my eyes. Aiden was right—he wasn’t the man for me. Anyone worth my time wouldn’t leave me feeling this way over and over. It was time for me to move on.
Chapter 14
Drew
Drew wouldn’t even look at me today. We’d been on the road to Arkansas for more than an hour and she’d been buried in a book the whole time.
“You want to stop for coffee?” I asked, hoping to break the ice.
“I’m fine, thanks.” But her short tone said she was anything but fine.
“Breakfast?”
“No, I’m good.”
I exhaled deeply. “Don’t be pissed at me. You know where I’m coming from on this.”
Silence.
I tried again. “Drew. Look at me.”
“I can check the forecast if you need me to,” she said, not looking up.
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