by Nikki Wild
Lucy places a hand on my shoulder and I hold it for strength.
“I’ve lived too long in your shadow, listening to everything you had to say like some kind of fucking God. Now I see it, Mac. You’re a piece of shit, and I’m done taking orders.”
Mac’s temple is throbbing, his face going red. “The fuck is this?”
The other boys are avoiding eye contact. I should be nervous to have them on my side but I’m not…Not for what I’m about to do.
“Call your fucking vote then. You think the boys will be on your side? I’m the one who brings the money. I’m the one who takes care of this club. Not a damn soul in this fucking club is gonna vote for a pissant like you, boy. I was President walking into this room and I’ll be President when I walk out.”
“I’m not calling for a vote, old man.”
“No?”
“I want vengeance.”
“Maybe you got your head all fucked up in that cage tonight, because you’re making a big fucking mistake. I’m gonna let you take that shit back.”
“I’m not taking anything back. You put your hands on my girl, you pulled her into this mess in the fucking first place. You’re paying for every pain you’ve caused. I want vengeance.”
“You don’t need to do this,” Garrett says, but I cut him off with a stare. Vengeance is absolute with the club. It’s how things are settled when power is corrupted. Mac has served far too long, and I’m not the only one who wants him gone. The hell he’s put me through is just the tip of the fucking iceberg.
Lucy squeezes my shoulder tighter. She doesn’t know what kind of shitstorm I just opened up, but I reassure with a gentle pat of her hand that it’ll be okay…I hope.
My eyes meet my brothers around the table, old and young, familiar and strange, all of whom have come here to watch the final showdown. Either Mac’s reign ends tonight and someone else takes his place, or I’m left on the edge of death and leave this town with Lucy at my side.
“Vengeance,” Mac says, smiling coldly.
“Aye,” I say.
“Aye,” comes a voice from the back. Various members begin beating their fists upon the table, a few at first, but the sound is growing.
“You’ve put families, children at risk, you’ve let power go to your head Mac. You shamed Retch in his grave by getting involved with the Cartel when you promised not to… And you pulled that fucking knife on Lucy and tried to have your way. I’m angry, we’re angry…”
“Aye, aye, aye…”
More fists start a tribal-sounding beat upon the wood until there’s an uproar.
“Fine! You all wanna see a show,” he looks at Lucy and shoulders by her, “you’ll get a damn show.”
28
All I get is one kiss from Landon before he’s through the doors and I’m unable to catch him. My heart feels like it’s about to damn near burst out of my chest. I can hardly hear from the commotion, from large bodies pulling Landon from me. I’m sucked into the crowd who are moving into the main area of the clubhouse. I look around, yelling out for Landon but my voice is raw.
This can’t be happening. No, no, no!
I grab at my head. I can’t be losing him, not again, not like this. I thought church was meant to be a vote, a VOTE! Not whatever’s about to play out here. I barge through some figures to take hold of Garrett’s arm.
“What’s vengeance?” I ask tugging on his cut. “What is he going to do?” He tucks me in his arm.
“Let’s get you out of here.”
“No! I am not leaving. Not a chance in hell. Just tell me what the fuck is happening?”
“Garrett, tell me what the fuck is happening!”
“You need to go. No ladies should see this.”
I slap him hard across his face so he gets the damn message. I’m not leaving.
“It’s…Last one standing stays in the club, sweetheart.”
“And the loser?”
Garrett swallows hard, considering if what he’s about to say is worth saying.
“Garrett, what happens to the loser?”
“He’ll…He’ll be lucky to walk out of here.”
Landon is bloodied and bruised. He’s not even cleaned up from his fight and yet he’s still going to do this. It will kill him. Kill him. He’s been through enough.
“You have to stop him.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to! He’s hurt. He can’t fight that monster.”
“He can, baby. He’s strong. He’s damn strong. Believe in him right now. This is happening. You can’t call off a fucking vengeance.”
The tears fall free but I push through to the front of the circle that’s formed. I cup my hands over my mouth at what I see. Mac already has his knife drawn as Landon circles him. My head shakes. I encroach further towards my love. “No, Landon! What happened to telling me we’d be safe?!”
He looks at me and smiles, a smile so telling I half believed he might survive this… But I see a flicker of doubt cross his brow.
I weep, loudly, but no one can hear me. I grit my teeth, stand two feet strong on the carpet and pray to Christ Landon has something up his sleeve.
Turns out his something was in his boot… Landon reaches down and draws the knife free. It’s not quite as long as the one Mac has been toying with tonight, but I can see the carefully honed edge is razor sharp. Landon is shouting something along with the club, but the deafening roar drowns out any meaning. He pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his battered and bruised body. Some of the damage I know from the accident… I’d traced those bruises with my fingertips… Others are new.
“Look, Lucy. The same knife that killed your daddy is about to kill your sweet Landon,” Mac yells with a devilish grin as he walks beside me. I want to throw up but I don’t let him see it affects me.
There is no referee and no official start. Mac sends a slice right across Landon’s chest. He retreats, a line of blood blooming under the lights.
“Stop this!” I shout. Garrett is beside me again, with his arms wrapped behind me, holding my arms and myself steady.
“Believe in him,” he whispers into me.
I don’t know how I can watch this. Already, the two have lunged toward each other, their shiny blades missing skin by mere breaths.
Mac slices again over Landon’s shoulder and he wails out again in pain. I can’t watch. I shouldn’t watch.
“It’ll be okay. They’re flesh wounds.” Garrett keeps encouraging me. “Landon takes them all the time.” I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.
Landon lands a punch, another punch, then a knee to Mac’s stomach. He wheezes but forces Landon back with a vicious lunge, taking both of them to the floor. I scream as they tumble, arms locked. I can see Landon’s blade pressed into Mac’s shoulder, but it doesn’t seem to phase the man. He throws an elbow and connects hard with Landon’s face. I flinch and look away, breathing so rapid I might pass out.
A deep boom of cheer resounds around the room.
Oh shit.
I don’t want to look.
I press my hands tighter to my face but Garrett pulls them away so I’ll look again.
Landon’s back on his feet. I can’t believe it.
“Oh my God,” I whisper.
Mac lunges again. It’s clear he’s not going for superficial cuts this time. The knife drives forward toward Landon’s throat but he manages to dodge it at the last second. Mac lets out an ungodly sound, and that’s when I see it… Landon has driven his knife into Mac’s abdomen. His mouth tenses as he twists with his fist. Mac coughs, his eyes going wide. He looks down to the endless torrent of blood seeping from his wound onto the grey carpet. I want to throw up. Flashbacks of seeing Daryl on the ground in that crimson pool flashes back in my mind.
Conflicting emotions roll over me. This man had a role in saving me from my father… But he was also the man who kept me apart from Landon. This is the man who would’ve raped me if I hadn’t gotten away.
Mac falls to his knees and reaches out for someone. He’s looking for anyone who’ll stand by him…
Nobody reaches back.
Landon walks toward me from the other side of the ring.
Out of my peripherals, I see Mac arch his arm back. Then his blade catches the light. I leap past Landon with every intention of knocking Mac’s arm away before he can throw the blade.
I feel something ice-cold pierce through my chest.
There’s a sharp hiss of air from somewhere that isn’t my throat.
I panic and pat at myself. Then the wheezing starts. Every breath becomes a chore.
In…
Out…
Out…
In…
Wheezing…
Hissing…
I’m scaling the Mount Everest of finding air, finding oxygen to keep me awake. Things vignette. My fingertips reach for Landon. Things get darker. He catches my body before I topple to the floor.
“Call an ambulance!”
The pain hits me, every nerve standing on painful end. It burns, seers within me. I look down to the leather handle hanging from my chest. It’s alien, strange…
I’ve lost Landon again.
We were so close.
Darkness consumes me before I can even mouth our last goodbye.
29
Blink, blink, blink.
“Oh my God,” says a whisper.
I feel numb all over. There’s a pressure, something weird in the back of my throat. I open my eyes into a dimly lit room. Where am I? What happened? Where have I been?
My head flops over to my left and there’s a warm hand on the side of my face.
“Landon,” I croak. “Oh my God.”
He leans into me gently but I only hug him tighter. Then I wince at the sharp pain on my left breast. “Careful, Lucy… Careful. The stitches are new.”
Stitches…
The fight…
The knife…
“I—I’m not dead yet.”
Landon gives a warm laugh and strokes my hair. “Looks like we’re gonna have a bit more time together, if that’s okay.”
I half laugh, half cough as this thing…this…unfamiliarity washes over me. I touch Landon’s warm skill some more. I let the knowledge wash over me, the security of the hospital relax me. It’s soothing, cold, rippling through me as I come to a realization: I’m okay. I feel good, calm because I’m with him and there’s nothing in our way anymore.
I take his face in my hands and the tears fall again. I see his own eyes are glassy but Landon doesn’t dare cry in front of me. So he turns his head away for a moment and clears his throat. I grab at his hair, trying to drive it into me that this all real. Him, me, together, safe — It’s all real.
“I owe you my life, Luce…”
“I know,” I say casually.
He kisses me again all over my face. “It’s all over, Luce. It’s finished.”
“What happened? What happened to Mac?” I see it all over Landon’s face that he wants to hold it back from me. “Please tell me. I’ll feel better.”
“He’s in a hospital on the other side of town. Some of the boys are checkin’ in on him, making sure he’s gonna stay away from us.”
I nod. “He’s alive… Is he ever coming back?”
“Old Mac had warrants out for some of the shit he’s pulled. With good behavior he’ll be cooling his heels in jail for the next twenty years…”
We link hands tightly. “Who’s replacing him?”
“Rev, probably. He’s wanted that spot for years. We’re all just exhausted by all the bullshit. It’s time to start cleaning up the pieces Mac left behind. Besides, him and Mia are becoming a thing so maybe something good can come from that little shit show.”
“But that means the club is involved with the mafia and the cartels.”
“I know…”
Landon sees me struggling on the bed and he helps me sit up.
“When can I leave here?”
“Not for a few weeks. But I’ll be here with you…”
“I love you, Landon…”
He pulls me into him and we kiss deeply. I inhale his masculine scent and hold my hands to his face, running my hands over a thin line of stitches on his cheek. It’s just more evidence of how close I came to losing him…
“I love you too. And… I have a surprise for you.”
I spend the next few hours with Landon. I can’t speak without giggling and I also can’t stop smiling like an idiot. I’m too distracted by how handsome Landon looks, how happy I feel that the pain’s almost over. I want to cry more than anything, but it’s not tears of sadness welling up inside me.
There’s a knock on the door. I can make out a platinum blonde ponytail through the circular window. Billie’s face peeps in and she throws her hand over her mouth. She tiptoes inside like she’s trying to hide something but lets out a lowly squeal at me. I embrace her carefully and she lets my nose fill with her overwhelming vanilla perfume.
“My baby,” she whispers. “Jesus Christ.”
Landon climbs from the bed, out into the corridor and leaves us in private.
“W—What are you doing here?” I say, shocked to see her, and maybe a bit more shocked that she’s not already at Landon’s throat…
“Landon called me… But for now, don’t worry about any of that. I brought someone to say hello.”
From her large beach bag she pulls a fluffy feline, a much welcomed face today.
“Babeen, my beautiful boy.” I smush his fur and press my head to his.
Meoooow.
“Shh, Babeen, you have to keep quiet,” Billie whispers.
I laugh as I take the silly boy into my arms and inhale him while he nudges at my face. It’s a comfort I’ve missed. Then I take Billie back into my arms and start crying again.
“I’ve missed you guys.”
“We’ve missed you too, baby girl. My God. I’m so glad to see you safe.”
“Billie, I’m so so…”
“Hush. Hush your damn mouth. We’re here to get you better. The past is the past. You are alive. Love makes us do some damn foolish things and best be believing there’ll be some words. But for now, let’s celebrate breathing, shall we?”
I nod and laugh, pulling her into my arms again.
“I have so much to tell you…”
“Well, we’ll get to that. You just rest up first.”
She pulls away and I notice something shiny on Billie’s hand.
“What is this?” I say, taking a modest ring between my fingers.
“Oh, don’t get too excited. Me and lazy-eye may have given each other promise rings.”
My eyes fill with more tears. I’ve missed so much since I’ve been gone. Of all the things I’d let go about Baddock, Billie was the very last.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Ugh, for the last time, less apologizing, more healing.”
“No… I owe it to you. I need to tell you everything.”
“In that case, you go ahead and start at the beginning… And no lies this time. I’ve been letting you get away with lying to me for too damn long…”
“You knew?” I asked quietly.
“Course I did… But I saw good in you, and I thought you might come around sooner or later…”
It’s a few hours of talking Billie and Babeen finally leave me and Landon alone. I cuddle into his shoulder again. He places a kiss on my forehead.
“Lucy,” he says quietly.
“Mm…”
“I’ve been thinking about our future lately, about where we go from here.”
“What about it?”
“Well, there’s something I’ve been holding in the last few days and I didn’t know the right time to tell you. I didn’t want you stressing out anymore than you have been.”
I don’t know if I want him to keep talking or let me live in this Limbo bubble a few days more. But curiosity gets the better of me. “Landon, what are you talking about?
”
“Do you see a future with us?”
I shake my head in disbelief.
“Of course I do.”
“I just want to be sure you’re ready to live this life with me, all the good, all the bad…”
His fingertips move along my collarbone and I collapse deeper into his touch. “Landon, you’re scaring me.”
He lifts my chin up and kisses my mouth. “Do you want this future with me?”
“O—Of course. I want it to be you and me, forever…”
“If that’s what you want… I’m getting back out of the club.”
“Doesn’t that mean another fight?”
“Not with Rev in charge… He’ll let me retire. Besides, I can’t keep being the fucking enforcer if I’m afraid the next fight might take me back to sixth grade english…”
I could see there was more he hadn’t told me yet. Something hidden behind his eyes.
“And… The doctor ran some tests on Wednesday…” he starts.
My stomach lurches. Shit. It isn’t over, is it? It can never be over for us.
“Are you okay?” I ask quietly.
“They ran the tests on you, Lucy…”
I clam up, my whole body going cold.
“Hey,” he says noticing my change in mood. He combs his fingers through my hair and watches my eyes closely. “It’s okay… The doctor says you’re gonna be a mommy.”
Epilogue
10 Months Later…
Rebuilding a life isn’t all that easy.
I open my ranch slider of the cozy one-bedroom house that me, Landon and our sweetheart baby Daisy now call our home. It’s not quite Baddock, but Westminster, California is still a coastal town thirty minutes from Jethrow with plenty of nearby hiking trails, open roads and pre-schools. A place where we can be our real selves.
I’m Lucy Palermo and I’m in love with Landon Ellers, the best man to ever crash into my life.
I rest a big bowl of potato salad on the outdoor table that Post Officer Hernandez made for us. If he was this good around the kitchen, maybe Billie didn’t make such a bad choice after all… I take a second to survey the spread of food ready to feed all the folks arriving for the special one-month birthday of our precious little baby.