Was David Black turning me into an idiot? Or would I be the idiot if I didn’t let myself do what I wanted so badly to do?
Slowly, I moved my hands down my body, arranging my skirt back down around my legs again. My whole body was still tingling. The orgasms he had given me had utterly blown me away and I wasn’t sure I could trust myself anymore.
My hands moved over my own body in a slow caress, just as I wanted his to do. I had never wanted anyone like I wanted him and the very intensity of the desire made me suspicious of it.
What I needed was some advice from someone who wasn’t connected to the situation. Someone who would have a clear head on the subject. It didn’t take me very long at all to figure out who.
Slowly, languorously, I reached over and snagged my phone. Through half-closed eyes, and fighting off the continuous urge to smile like an idiot, I pressed the screen beside Joan’s name and waited.
Joan was a friend who wouldn’t hesitate to tell me I was being an idiot if I was. Joan, who had never even met David and who would give me good advice, wouldn’t just tell me what she thought I wanted to hear.
It was only when she answered the phone and her voice was roughened with sleep and slight irritation that I realized it was past midnight.
“Sorry.” I could hear the sheepish tone to my voice. “I didn’t realize what time it was. I’ll hang up now and you can yell at me later.”
“Kaye?” Joan went from sounding annoyed to concerned in about half a second, which just made me wince more. I really didn’t want to worry anyone, but I could tell I had freaked her out. Of course I had. Normal people didn’t call their friends this late at night on a work night unless it was something important.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, and I had gone to hang up when I heard Joan’s voice coming clear as day through the speaker of my phone.
“Don’t you dare hang up. What’s going on? You sound strange.”
I smiled a secret little smile to myself. Strange. That was one way to put it. She’d never heard me when a man had worn me out this way before. No one had.
“Something’s happened,” I admitted, and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. This whole experience was new to me. I had never had to confess this sort of indiscretion to a friend before. I was always the one who was there to listen to her friends talk about boys.
Joan was silent for a moment, and when she spoke she sounded incredibly sure of herself. “It’s a man. You got laid.”
I guess my silence gave me away because she gave a whoop of happiness that was so loud I actually had to hold my phone away from my ear for a second while she got herself under control.
“I didn’t sleep with him.” I pulled the tattered shreds of my dignity around myself as she chuckled knowingly. “No, I mean it. I didn’t. We …messed around, though. But no dick penetration. I didn’t have actual sex with him.”
Even through the phone, I could tell she was grinning. I could hear it in her voice. “Well, why didn’t you?” Blunt and to the point, just the way I had expected her to be. It was why I had called her, after all, to talk about this stuff.
So I rushed forward, not thinking about my words for once in my life. “I don’t know why it didn’t happen. I wanted it to,” I admitted, and my cheeks flushed a darker pink when I said it. It wasn’t the sort of confession I was used to making.
“I’ve never heard you sound like this about a guy.” Joan paused, then added, “This isn’t about sex for you, is it? Or not just sex?”
Bless her. She was pretty much doing all of the work for me. She and I had been friends for long enough and it almost seemed like she could read my mind. It was making this whole thing much easier.
“It’s not just sex,” I whispered, and it helped a lot to know I didn’t have to explain more. I didn’t have to tell her I was a virgin. Maybe she didn’t know all the details, but she didn’t have to.
She knew what a big deal this all was to me.
“Say it,” she demanded, and I forced myself to calm down and take a deep breath. For some reason, admitting all of this to myself was far less terrifying than saying it aloud, even to a friend.
“It’s not just sex,” I repeated. “It’s more. I think …I think I might be falling for him.”
I could practically hear the satisfied smirk on her face when she spoke again. “I know you are. I can hear it in your voice. And I’ve seen the look in your eyes lately. You’ve got it bad.”
I shook my head. Damn her smugness. She knew exactly what was going on with me, and I was so out of my depth it wasn’t funny. “What do I do, Joan?” I hated how plaintive I sounded. I was the sort of person who always knew what I was doing when I did something, but with this I was a complete novice.
“It’s serious, isn’t it?” Joan didn’t seem to need an answer because she continued on, her voice much more solemn than usual. “How much does he know about you?”
I winced a little. I knew what she meant, even if I considered playing dumb. The fact was, there was a fair bit that David didn’t know about me.
“He doesn’t know much of anything about me, other than that I’m a nurse,” I said, my voice almost too quiet to hear. “We only went on our first date tonight, though. It’s too soon to tell him everything.”
I had sort of hoped, even if I knew it was impossible, it would always be too soon to tell him. There were already a bunch of firsts going on with David and I wasn’t sure I wanted to add this one in too.
“It’s up to you,” Joan admitted. “But I think you should tell him. If you think there is going to be something real between you, he needs to know. What if you get married someday and he doesn’t even know?”
She had a point. It wasn’t like I was planning to marry David, but the idea didn’t freak me out quite as much as I would have thought.
I didn’t like the idea of telling him. I didn’t like the idea of telling anyone. Even Joan only knew because I’d had a few too many drinks after she had dragged me out to the bar one night when it was all weighing heavily on my mind—the anniversary of the day my life had changed. And I’d spilled it all to her then.
Point being, I didn’t talk to people about it. But Joan was right. If I wanted to really be with him, I was going to need to tell him about my past. Maybe David could even be the sort of person to accept it, given his own background.
And he had opened up to me. I should open up to him too. If I wanted things to get deeper between us, that is.
There was a reason it hurt me so much to think about David and Theodore, both of them so alone. The truth was, I was all alone too. I had no one, just as he did. It was one reason, one of many, I found myself so drawn to him.
When my parents had died and left me when I was just fifteen, it had devastated me. I could far too easily understand how David had felt when he’d lost his father and then Theodore.
We shared this bond and he didn’t even know about it.
“Kaye?” Joan’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and made me realize I had probably been quiet for too long, lost in my thoughts. “Kaye, what are you scared of? It won’t change anything between you two, not if he’s the sort of man you deserve. I’ve known you for a long time now, and you’ve never felt like this about a man, have you?”
I shook my head, then realized she couldn’t see me. “No, he’s the first man I’ve ever wanted,” I whispered, and it was nothing but the truth. Joan would know. She had known me for years. In fact, we’d gone to school together and she’d known me pretty much from the month I’d aged out of the foster care system and started college.
“At least think about it. It’s not right to keep something that big away from the person you’re falling in love with.” Joan seemed to give up, and I appreciated it. She would state her case, but she also knew when to back off.
Fair enough. I could promise without any problem and I didn’t hesitate to do so. “I will think about it. You know, I just hate when people feel sorry for me. Sure, I was a
young teen when my world changed. I lost my family and my home. I was sent to live with a house full of strangers. No one comforted me when I got sad and lonely for my family. I kept that all to myself, not wanting to bother anyone.” I knew I would think about telling David. After all, if I wanted to be serious with this man, he really should know more about me.
“If he’s the right man for you, he won’t be bothered by it. You’ll see. Tell him before it gets to the point that it looks like you purposely kept things from him. That would hurt him. I’m sure you don’t want that.” She sighed, and I could tell she was tired and needed to get back to sleep.
“Go back to bed, Joan. And thanks for the advice. I know you’re right. But I also know how damn hard it is to make my mouth open and talk about that very painful part of my life. But I’ll think about it and see what I can come up with. Maybe I’ll invite him over one evening, get drunk, and it’ll spill out of me like it did with you.” I rubbed my chin, as it itched from David’s whiskers. “Goodnight, Joan.”
“Goodnight, Kaye. You have yourself some sweet dreams.” She hung up and I put my cell back on the nightstand.
It was late as hell and I still had a bath to take before I turned in for the night. Thanks to David’s attention to me, I’d made a bit of a mess of myself.
A glorious mess.
David
For weeks I had been playing the same game. And I had been playing it expertly, without a single flaw. I could tell it was time to move on—to step up my game. I could tell she was ready to give more to me.
Maybe she would even give me everything, and God knew I was ready to have it.
I had taken her out every day. I worked around her schedule because for some unknown reason she was still working. The picture I had painted of her in my mind wasn’t as accurate as I might have thought, because if she’d been a gold digger, then surely she would have quit her job to enjoy the proceeds of her hard work?
It was a little uncomfortable for me to think about it, so I pushed those strange thoughts firmly away. Kaye was probably waiting on the money to get into her accounts—that was most likely the only reason she hadn’t quit her job yet. That had to be it. But I shut those thoughts off because they disturbed me and I hated feeling uncertain.
Instead of thinking, I went grocery shopping.
Most nights, I had taken my lovely Kaye out for dinner, but I had something very different in mind for tonight. I was going to cook for her—step up my game—and then, well, we’d see what happened.
I parked my car, then went to the door, ringing the bell. It was preposterous that I couldn’t just walk in, since the house had been my grandfather’s. But I had to play the gentleman with Kaye. My agenda was back at the forefront of my mind.
“David!” Kaye was clearly thrilled to see me when she opened the door. Her whole beautiful face just lit up, her bright eyes glowing with pleasure. She stepped forward and kissed me briefly on the lips in greeting before her eyes slid down to the bags I was holding. “What’s all this?”
I smiled and walked past her, going into the kitchen so I could put everything down. She followed along behind me. I turned to face her, then pulled her into my arms for a real kiss. When I let her go, I was feeling a little weak at the knees, and by her dazed expression, she seemed to be too. “I’m making you dinner.” I laughed at the expression on her face, then added, “You aren’t allowed to help. Sit.”
“Not at all?” She took a seat at the island bar, perching on one of the barstools and looking good enough to eat herself.
“Not at all. I’m pampering you, my sweet girl.” I poured her a glass of wine and one for myself, too, before getting to work. “You work hard, and I want you to know I see that and admire your drive.” Soon enough, I had a pasta sauce simmering on the stove, garlic bread ready to be toasted in the oven, and a salad all ready to go.
I had never—not once in my entire life—met a woman who was not impressed by a man who would cook for her.
“David,” she sighed with pleasure. “It smells so good. Thank you. I did have a hard day today. My patient had a terrible day—much worse than mine. But it makes the job a lot harder when you have to sit by and watch someone endure so much pain. It took forever for the meds to ease the pain for the poor old woman.”
While things cooked I turned to look at her and frowned at what I saw. She was as lovely as ever, but when I looked at her—really looked at her—I noticed she had dark circles under her eyes. She was slumped in her chair, apparently completely exhausted.
“So you had a hard day?” I asked, and I went over to her, pushing her hair aside and letting my hands rest on her shoulders.
“Hard and very long.” Kaye moaned and tilted her head forward, giving me full access to her neck and shoulders. They were tense and filled with knots, so I started to rub those knots and sore areas out.
Another thing the vast majority of women couldn’t resist, in my experience, was a man who would give them a massage.
It was hardly a hardship for me either, not with the soft noises of pleasure and sexy little moans she made. Her skin was warm and smooth under my fingers and I got the satisfaction of feeling her muscles become loose and pliant under my skilled touch.
“What did I do to deserve any of this?” Kaye murmured, her voice almost drowsy. Knowing her head was turned away from me, I allowed myself to smirk just a little bit. She really was falling for me, wasn’t she? I was on the right track.
“You’re you,” I murmured and placed a chaste kiss on the top of her head. “That’s enough.”
Her shoulders relaxed even more and I kept rubbing until she was almost completely limp for me. She pressed toward my hands, wordlessly imploring me not to stop, and I didn’t.
Not until dinner was ready, anyway. I carefully rearranged her long, dark hair so it fell down over her back again, a waterfall of black silk. She really did have the most remarkable coloring, with those green eyes and dark hair. Very dramatic and very beautiful.
Very easy to fall for.
I set the table, letting her sit in her languorous, sensual mood. It was exactly how I wanted her, after all—relaxed and receptive to what I had to say.
When I set the dishes out, I made sure I was sitting beside her instead of across from her, and as we ate, I teased her just a little. Nothing blatant—it was all incredibly subtle—but I knew what I was doing and I did it on purpose.
From the beginning, I had known that she found me attractive. Now, I shamelessly used that knowledge, letting my foot rest against hers, my leg close enough to her that I could feel the heat radiating off of her, and my hand lightly stroking over her thigh.
At first, she was sleepy and sort of relaxed, but as I kept playing with her, I actually felt her start to warm up under my attentions. She turned to me and her eyes were wide, luminous, brilliant and glistening, her breath hitching just a little bit.
I gently wiped at her lips with my napkin, just a little bit playfully. When I kissed her, she tasted of tomatoes and garlic bread and something else—something I simply identified as Kaye.
“Thank you for all of this,” she whispered sweetly to me when the kiss finally broke. There was nothing in her eyes but trust and caring. She didn’t suspect me in the slightest.
The tiniest twinge of guilt went through me, but I forced it ruthlessly down. This was going to be more difficult than I had thought—not because she was fighting me on anything, but because she wasn’t.
This was far easier than taking candy from a baby, and I made the decision—right or wrong—right then and there. I was going to push any thoughts about the real reason I was doing this from my mind and simply focus on how much I genuinely did want her.
“You’re welcome,” I murmured, then cleared my throat. My voice had come out husky and deep, and it was then that I realized that I had been teasing myself as much as I had been her. Maybe even more.
“I have something I want to ask you.” I looked right at her, fighting
down the most bizarre, unaccountable surge of nerves. It wasn’t like I had much doubt about what she would say, but the nerves were still there.
“What is it?” She looked at me curiously, and I realized this was maybe my last chance to back out.
Not interested, I thought to myself. I’d worked too hard already to throw this all away and I really wasn’t even sure why I’d thought of stopping this at all.
I still had the same dreams I’d always had—of building Black Tech into something my grandfather would have been proud of. And Kaye, for all of her sweetness, was still standing in the way of what I wanted.
“I want to take things to the next level with us,” I admitted, and I let myself get lost in the moment. For just a few seconds, I let the feelings I was having for her come forward, to hopefully make me sound sincerer.
For just a moment, there was a flash of wariness in her eyes. I had noticed something about Kaye. Though I had wondered how she could be a virgin at her age, I had learned she was quite cautious, especially when it came to matters of the heart.
Which only made her more impressive to me.
“What do you mean?” She turned to face me fully, as much as the chair she was perched in would allow. Her voice sounded neutral enough, and though I was very watchful, I didn’t see any sign she wouldn’t be open to what I was about to say.
“I mean that I feel things for you, Kaye. I want to see where this goes between us,” I confessed. “I want to make things exclusive between us. I don’t want to see anyone else. And I don’t want you to, either.”
As I was saying the words, I realized that it was true. I had no interest in any other woman, not even sexually. Just Kaye. I let the sincerity show in my words and shine in my eyes.
Suddenly, she grinned. Just like that, she flung herself at me and I had her on my lap, with her slender arms around me. She made a delightful armful, to say the very least.
No Promises: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance Page 30