“David, I want to see a little version of us—both of us. I want to know if our baby will have my eyes, or yours, or a mix of the two. I want to see what our child will look like, know how they act, and learn if they love to paint or if they have your head for finance. I want to know them.”
Her voice had gotten deeply passionate, and I felt my heart stirring inside of me. A little version of the two of us. Kaye and me mingled in a little person. The idea appealed to me. But it was, of course, absolutely out of the question.
There was absolutely no way I was going to bring a baby into a fake marriage. Even I wasn’t cruel enough to do something so heinous. A child would be an innocent and would be deeply hurt by the inevitable fallout between me and Kaye.
“I don’t want a baby. Not yet.” My voice was very firm, and I looked at her, keeping my eyes hard and my gaze uncompromising. “You’re going to have to wait. We’ll do it when we both think it’s right.”
Kaye was usually so sweet and biddable, and part of me assumed, even with how big of a bee she had in her bonnet about this, that she would back off and accept my words, even if she didn’t like them.
The thing about Kaye, though, which I had forgotten, was she could be stubborn when she really, truly wanted something. I had only seen it a few times. Mostly, she was content to go with the flow and allow whatever happened to happen, but she could definitely hold her own when it came to something very important to her.
“You don’t have the right to shut me down like this,” Kaye argued. “I’m ready to have a baby now.”
I stared at her, trying to will her to back down. This was a nightmare. If this marriage was real, I would be thrilled. It actually surprised me a little just how badly I wanted what she was offering—a family, a baby, and something to link us together forever.
Which was exactly why the whole thing was so terrifying. I wanted it too badly. Kaye was going to be out of my life, and not too very far in the future either. It was utterly unfair of me to bring a baby into this.
“I want to get off the pill,” she told me firmly, her eyes sparkling with resolve in a way that made me want to grab her, bend her over the desk, and get started on the baby right then and there. “I want to get this started. I wouldn’t force anything on you, but …you have to at least think about it.”
No way. I wasn’t about to get caught in a trap, no matter how cleverly she laid it out for me. If I agreed to this—to any of it—she’d see this as a plausible option and it really wasn’t.
“We’re married, David. ‘Til death do us part, remember?” Kaye implored. She reached out and took my hand, squeezing it, and I was so surprised by the sudden movement, I let her have it. “There’s no reason to wait. Just …think about it?”
Oh, God.
My heart clenched in my chest, a tight stone that threatened to sink into my belly. I wanted it. I hadn’t known until she spoke the words, but I wanted a baby—a child to follow in my footsteps. In our footsteps.
And I could hardly ask for a more perfect co-parent than Kaye. She would be amazing with a child, I could already tell. We had the money for it too …
The thought stopped me cold in my tracks. While I was waxing poetic about having a baby with my wife, I was forgetting about the money. So much money to help me with my endeavors. Money that should’ve been all mine and mine alone.
Most people would agree it would be a pretty steep price to pay for a child.
There was absolutely no way I was going to let her get away with this. She wasn’t going to take everything from me, and I was suddenly furious that she would even try.
“No.” My voice was utterly uncompromising. What was the point in giving her false hope? It just wasn’t going to happen, and I stared at her, willing her to see the facts. “I don’t want a child. Not right now. Just wait.”
Just wait.
It wasn’t even logical. There was literally no reason for us to wait, or no reason she knew about anyway.
“David …” she blinked back tears, and I felt like pretty much the biggest asshole in the whole entire world. I was making her cry, and she wasn’t the type of woman to use tears as a weapon. She was genuinely upset—heartbroken even.
And there was much worse to come. She was going to have to be strong. I liked to think she could be. Maybe this wouldn’t break her completely in the end. It helped my guilty conscience to think so, anyway.
“Damn it, David,” she cried, tears streaming down her face. She dashed them away angrily. “Why won’t you at least think about it?”
I didn’t answer. What could I say? I could hardly tell her the truth. Oh, sorry, Kaye, we can’t have a baby because I’m after your money, which should be mine, and I don’t want to bring an innocent child into this mess?
Oh, that would go over well.
She spun away from me, going to the door and throwing it open, the knob hitting the wall with a loud bang. Kaye ran out, hair streaming behind her, sobbing. Not just with sadness, either, I was willing to bet. She was furious with me.
I wasn’t even sure I could blame her. She should be. I was deliberately doing terrible things to her.
It settled into my craw. She was utterly furious with me. Would she end our marriage over this?
I shook my head as I thought about the question I had asked myself. No, Kaye wouldn’t give up that easily.
And I couldn’t give up the inheritance. I just couldn’t do it. As much as part of me wished I could, as much as I wished I could give Kaye what she wanted—what we both wanted—and start a little family with her, it just wasn’t possible for me.
Giving up was something I didn’t know how to do. I was set on this path now, bound to follow it to the end. So I let Kaye go, then reached for the phone.
“What is it, David?” Brent sounded annoyed. I knew he was in a bad mood, cranky with me because I hadn’t let him go further with the plan. Part of me wondered if he was yearning to taste my wife’s delicious lips, her tits, and her pussy.
My blood began to boil, but I took a deep breath to cool it a bit.
With the talk of a baby, I had to make things move faster. What I wanted to tell him would give him much less reason to be grumpy. “Kaye’s upset. Get over here as soon as you can.”
“Upset?” he actually sounded happy about that. It made me sick at him and myself.
The poor woman was in tears because she wanted to have my baby and I was denying her that. I would give her anything she wanted, just not a human who would belong to both of us, entangling us forever.
No, I could not have that at all.
“Yes, I’ll let her tell you why that is. Hurry.”
“I’m already in my car, heading your way. Is it odd that my whole body is tingling in anticipation of holding her?” His question doubled me over.
If he had been right in front of me, I’d have plunged my fist right into his chest and ripped his heart out.
Heartless bastard!
Kaye
How could he?
If he had told me he didn’t want a child, maybe it would be different. After all, I hadn’t checked with him about it before we got married. Some people didn’t want a family. David had the right to what he wanted.
I would have been disappointed if he was one of those people, but he hadn’t actually said he was. In fact, he had seemed almost to want a child, but just wanted to wait for some unknown reason. He wouldn’t talk about it or even think about it, and I just couldn’t understand why.
Disappointment crushed my heart, weighing it down, and I wept bitterly as I sat on the front porch. There was a swing there, and I let myself rock gently back and forth, the motion somewhat soothing. Tears rolled down my face in a torrent, one I couldn’t have stopped if I had tried, so I didn’t even bother.
It was never going to happen. I was never going to get what I wanted. The baby that my arms ached to cradle was never going to be there, because my husband just wouldn’t allow it to happen.
Damned
if I could understand why.
The sound of tires had my eyes opening and I saw a car drive up our driveway. It was dark outside, the sun having just gone down, but I saw a man inside the car and it didn’t take a lot of sleuth work to figure out who it was. It had to be Brent. What other man would be coming here this late?
That thought made me realize I should get dinner. I had been hungry and it likely wasn’t helping with the emotional torrent racing through me. But I felt so damn hopeless and watched with dull eyes as Brent got out of the car and walked toward me.
He didn’t seem surprised to see me, even though I was sitting on the front porch, obviously crying. He just gave a soft little sigh, then settled down beside me on the two-person swing and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
It felt good at first. My husband was being so unaccountably cruel and to have someone just hold me—it felt comforting. I let myself relax into it, resting my head on Brent’s shoulder and sobbing like I would never stop.
“What is it?” he asked, and I had to fight to calm myself down enough to even speak. I took a deep, shuddering breath and slowly, slowly, I was able to talk.
“I asked him about a baby. I told him I want to start a family. He told me I had to wait,” I whispered, wondering how trivial all of this sounded to this big deal businessman. Did I sound like a complete idiot?
Honestly, I didn’t even care. It mattered to me, whether it should or not. But I didn’t quite dare to look at him. Brent was always so strong, so dominant, and he rarely seemed to take anything seriously.
I didn’t think I could handle it if he laughed at me.
“I’m sorry,” he said instead, sounding strangely sober, at least for him. It seemed he did take my problem seriously, which was even more of a relief. After David’s reaction, I’d been worried maybe I was going crazy. “That has to suck.”
Yes, it really did. I sobbed harder into his shoulder, but there was relief there too. I wasn’t crazy. Brent didn’t seem to think so anyway. It wasn’t much, but it helped a little.
“It’s never going to happen,” I whispered, finally stating my fears out loud. “I don’t know if he just doesn’t want a family or what it is. Maybe he’s afraid to let himself want something like that again. But I’ve always wanted a baby.”
Brent sighed softly as he reached for me, tilting my chin up so I met his green eyes. They seemed to shimmer in the darkness. There was compassion and comfort there.
“He doesn’t deserve you, you know,” Brent commented abruptly, his eyes fixated on mine. “He’s an idiot if he doesn’t know what he has. You’re incredible. Way too good for him.”
Something about the way he spoke to me made the skin on the back of my neck prickle. Maybe it was because he was so willing to say those sorts of things about his friend, who should surely have his loyalty over me.
Why was he always taking my side?
“Let go of me.” As I said the words, I was more and more sure I was right. Something here was wrong—very wrong—and I needed to stop it before it got more wrong.
“What’s wrong?” Brent asked, and he pulled away from me a little, but kept his arm around me. It started to feel more oppressive than comforting, and I stood up, looking down at him, deeply thoughtful.
“I’m not stupid,” I told him, my breathing very rapid and my heart pounding. What situation had I gotten myself into? Whatever it was, I had to get myself out of it immediately.
“What do you mean?” he asked, but I could swear I saw a hint of wariness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I didn’t think so.
I was pretty sure it was the confirmation I needed. I needed to stop this—to halt this before it got messy. Even messier than it already was.
“You’re always there when things get rough,” I spoke slowly, letting myself feel out the words before I said them. I was going to sound insane, paranoid, and probably egotistical, but I still needed to get this all out. “You always say the right things and you always take my side over my husband’s. That’s pretty weird behavior for his best friend.”
Brent stood up and walked away from me, hands on the railing, facing away from me. I had a sudden burst of insight that told me he just didn’t want me looking at this face right then. Why? Unless I was right …
His voice was smooth, but there was an edge of sadness when he said, “I know how hard David can be is all.”
“Look, couples have arguments,” I continued on, looking at his back. “No marriage is going to be easy. I knew it going into this. Most of my friends have been divorced, so yeah, I get it. It’s never going to be a smooth road—not all of the time. I wasn’t expecting anything of the sort when I married David.”
“I don’t know what you’re thinking,” he replied, his voice strangely tight. “But you’re way off. I lived with David for years. We were in college together. I know how hard he can be to live with. That’s all there is to it.”
I frowned, trying to study him, but it was difficult when he wouldn’t even look at me. The thing was, he wasn’t quite acting like he was telling the truth. His actions were just a little bit suspicious. I always tried to see the best in everyone, but I wasn’t born yesterday.
But he was my husband’s best friend, and I didn’t want to have conflict with the man. “Are you sure that’s all, Brent?”
“I just wanted to help.” Brent didn’t look at me as he said the words. “I wasn’t trying anything else. I’m sorry if you took it that way.”
Ugh. He was trying to make me sound like I was crazy, wasn’t he? Just then and there, my alarm level jumped up, making me take a few more steps away from him. He was sorry if I took it that way.
I could swear I wasn’t taking it ‘that way’ for no reason. But he was trying to act like nothing was going on. I didn’t know if I bought it. I could be wrong, but my intuition was telling me something was going on here.
“I just want to be your friend.” Brent finally turned around and his face was completely composed. But when I looked closer, I saw tightness around his eyes and lips that I was sure he wasn’t even aware of. I was looking for the signs and I saw them everywhere. “I just want to help you and David. I want you guys to make it.”
As always, he was saying all the right things. A little bit too right. I frowned, looking him over, and searching his face—his eyes. I didn’t like what I saw. “Please don’t worry about me.” My voice sounded very formal to my own ears, but in this case, it was definitely better to be too formal than too friendly. I didn’t want him to have any hope he would ever have anything from me, other than my friendship.
I hated being so cold, especially when I’d liked Brent so much before, but I wasn’t going to lead anyone on. My allegiance was to my husband, and no other man should think they had a shot.
“As if I could stop myself.” He gave me a smile. “But I’ll butt out if that’s what you really want, Kaye.”
“David is in his office, I believe, if you came to see him. Have a good night,” I said softly, then walked into the house. My body didn’t feel big enough to hold my emotions and if I stayed any longer I knew it might get messy.
It took a lot to annoy me, but this whole situation was starting to. With David acting so bizarre, and now Brent being just a little bit too conveniently there, I’d had enough. There was only so much one woman should be expected to take and I was far beyond it.
Maybe I was insane. Maybe the signs I was getting from Brent weren’t accurate. After all, I was hardly very good at telling when people wanted me. I’d always kind of ignored the whole attraction thing, at least until I’d met David.
I was on high alert, though, and I didn’t think I was wrong. I was fairly certain I knew the look in Brent’s eyes, and it was desire. Did he want me sexually? Or worse, did he think he could have me?
Did he, for some reason, think he could take me from David? From the only man I could ever love?
Surely he wasn’t so stupid. I
had never given him even the slightest sign …had I? My mind raced as I thought back to all of our interactions. There were so few of them, it didn’t take me long.
Flopping down on my bed, I shook my head. I had allowed him and David to dominate me together …and I had liked it. But it hadn’t been my idea. I never would have done it without David there, either.
Well, it was a no-brainer for me to say it would never happen again. I had to be perfectly polite to Brent, but firm. I didn’t want to make things awkward, and Brent hadn’t actually done anything, so I didn’t want to create problems between Brent and David.
But I was definitely going to be much more careful around Brent from now on.
Part Four
Chapter 16
David
I was very, very busy. Yes, I was. Completely occupied with staring down at piles of paperwork as I tried to make sense of everything.
When the door was pushed open, I looked up sharply, expecting Kaye. Expecting her to tell me off again or to beg me for the baby that I—if I were completely honest with myself—wished desperately to give to her.
But it wasn’t Kaye with desperate pleas on her lips. It was Brent, and he looked more out of sorts than I could ever remember seeing him before.
Brent wasn’t the sort of guy who took anything very seriously. He sort of floated through life, seemingly untouched by most things. So to see him on edge, as he so obviously was, instantly made me nervous.
“What is it?” I asked, and gestured for him to come in. He flopped down in the chair opposite mine, the one across the desk, where Kaye had been sitting not so very long ago.
“It’s hopeless,” Brent murmured, and it startled me badly to hear him say those words. I didn’t know hopeless was a word he even knew. Much like me, Brent was pretty amazing at getting what he wanted, regardless of who or what was set against him.
Why was Kaye so different?
No Promises: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance Page 37