“Just a few minutes from now, idiot. Look, I’m still wearing the same skinny Santa suit.”
“What happened to you, it’s all scorched and ripped,” asked Kellan.
“You mean what will happen to me,” said Fellan.
“Go frak yourself,” said Kellan to his future self.
“Anatomically improbable,” began Fellan, then added, “and we don’t have time anyway. I’ve already created multiple temporal portals in this one space trying to undo the mess you made over that lava lamp. I’m afraid this point in time is becoming the temporal equivalent of swiss cheese. It could collapse into a fixed point at any moment and then we’d both be fracked.”
“Well, then why did you make so many,” asked Kellan.
“Because, fixing your idiocy has taken multiple attempts.”
“My idiocy, what the hell did I do?”
“You know very well what you did, Kellan” said Fellan with a wry smile and when Kellan made to object, his future self simply raised a hand and added, “Dude, I’m you. I remember what we were thinking when we took that lava lamp from Meghan. You can’t lie to yourself, Kellan Caufield Thorne.”
Kellan sighed. “Fair enough, but she’s been asking for it. Every Christmas she steals my favorite white elephant gift, but not this year!”
Fellan shook his head, “Great, you showed her. You are now the proud owner of a nineteen dollar lava lamp but have ruined James’ party. In addition, you have outted yourself, Shannon, Meghan, Seramai, and assorted vampires as supernatural entities.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, why are you here?” asked Kellan.
“Oh, I needed to film the aftermath so when I risk one last trip back before you took that TARDIS lava lamp from Meghan, I’ll have proof. You didn’t believe me the last time.” Fellan paused, then added, “because you’re an annoying dick.”
Kellan nodded soberly, then said, “We are an annoying dick.”
“Fair point,” said Fellan while snapping his fingers in Kellan’s direction, “We are an annoying dick. Anyway, I’m going back before this all started and show us the video so we will not take that lava lamp.”
“Wait, that won’t work,” said Kellan. “If you had gone back in time and showed me the video I’d remember it, but I don’t remember it. Even worse, how could you show me a video as proof of something I needed to stop. If I stopped it, there would be no video to show me.”
“Dude, stop,” said Fellan, “I actually remember being on the other side of this conversation while not remembering ever seeing the video either. All I have to say is—”
“I know,” said Kellan. “You don’t have to say it.”
“But, I want to say it. I’ve never gotten to say it to myself before,” cried Fellan.
Kellan sighed, “Go ahead. Never let it be said that I deprived myself of the opportunity to provide a pithy retort to…myself.”
Fellan beamed. “Timey Wimey, Wibbly Wobbly,” then he ripped open a portal and vanished.
Kellan grinned at Meghan as her countenance darkened. He reached for the lava lamp when he heard a familiar voice and froze.
“Don’t react. Don’t move. Don’t even blink.” There was a pause then the voice said, “Blink and you’re dead.”
Kellan felt himself go slack-jawed, but pulled his hand back and said, “Hold that thought, Meg. Gotta pee.”
As the young Sentinel walked into the restroom, he felt the familiar tingle of Ordered power being channeled and blinked several times as another version of himself popped into view, placed a warning finger to his lips and said, “Call me Fellan and Don’t say anything. The less you talk, the better. We’ve tried having detailed conversations before and it never ends well. Just watch this.” With that, Fellan took out his iPhone and tapped it a few times, then turned the device toward Kellan whose eyes widened in alarm as he watched the video.
“No way,” cried Kellan.
“Way,” said Fellan
“That’s horrible,” added Kellan and reached for the phone.
“It is horrible and don’t touch my phone. You have your own.” Fellan paused, then said, “Wait, what do you think is horrible.”
“That all this craziness is going to be caused by my stealing the lava lamp?” said Kellan questioningly.
“No, no, no. I see what you are doing there. The craziness would have been caused by your stealing the lava lamp. But now,” Fellan made a gyrating motion with his hands, “The craziness will not happen because you will not steal that lava lamp.”
“But I want the lava lamp,” offered Kellan, then added, “It’s a TARDIS lava lamp.”
“Dude, I know you want it and I know what it is. I want it too, but we can’t have it. Just buy it on Amazon for twenty bucks.”
“You know that’s not the point,” said Kellan. “I was about to beat her. We were about to beat her. Now, you are asking me to give all that up.” Fellan nodded and tapped the iPhone meaningfully.
“Fine,” said Kellan, “but I’m not happy about this.”
“I know,” his future self said in all sincerity and gestured toward the bathroom door.
“I’m going,” growled Kellan, then turned to face his other self, “and Fellan is a stupid name for future Kellan.” He felt the portal open behind him but didn’t turn around. Instead, he made his way back to the party and walked up to Meghan who had been chatting amiably with one of the other guests. As soon as she caught sight of him, Kellan saw her expression change into one of competitive aggression.
He grinned amiably, leaned down while reaching for the lava lamp but shifted his hand at the last minute. Kellan played a quick “shave and a haircut, two bits,” cadence on her nose and said, “You seem to really like that thing, Meghan and you’re one of my best friends. Please, enjoy that lava lamp in good health and Merry Christmas!”
James stood on the ballroom stage with a mic and waved his hands as he yelled, “So did everyone enjoy the white elephant, this year?” The room erupted in cheers. “Did everyone get something that they will either enjoy themselves or be able to tell great stories about?” Again a cheer rose from the crowd. “Kellan,” said James, “where’s Kellan Thorne? Oh, there you are. Kellan, I know you are really going to enjoy yours, right?” The young Sentinel ground his teeth as heads turned in his direction. He felt Shannon’s mind and she urged calm, but he could sense the barely contained laughter behind it. “C’mon up here Kel and show everyone your amazingly perfect gift.”
For his part, Kellan decided he would just play along and not let anyone know just how pissed he was at letting Meghan Daugherty escape with his TARDIS lava lamp. That’s the last time I listen to any future version of myself. I probably faked that damn video. I just can’t trust me, thought Kellan as he made his way to the stage.
“For those of you who don’t know, Kellan is my oldest friend and the only person who seems to have an almost supernatural ability to end up with the most useless white elephant gift each year.” By this point, Kellan had joined him , and James put his arm around the Sentinel and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Kellan wrinkled up his nose and mentioned something about needing to shave those layers of skin off, but James ignored him. “Hold it up, Kel.” Kellan sighed and lifted the small green item for everyone to see. “Congratulations to both Kellan and whoever thought to put this little gem under the tree.”
“What is it?” shouted Meghan.
“It looks like a giant pickle,” yelled someone else.
“Go on, Kel. Show them,” encouraged James.
“It looks like a major award,” said Juliet, then added, “Is it Italian?”
Kellan closed his eyes and knew what was coming next.
“I don’t think it’s Italian, Juliet,” answered James, “but I do believe that it is—” James paused then he and Juliet sounded out the word in unison, Frageelay.
Kellan pressed a button and the object began to yodel. After a minute it stopped. He looked over the assembled friends and said, “Yeah, it’
s a yodeling pickle. Is everyone happy now? I have a yodeling pickle.”
“I know I’m pretty happy,” said Megan, “I have a TARDIS lamp.” She grinned at Kellan then added, “And, yes, it’s smaller on the outside.” Juliet leaned over and whispered something to Meghan. The former Marine winced a little, then said, “I mean it’s bigger on the inside.”
“Ok, ok,” Said James as he put his arm around Kellan’s shoulder again and gave him a squeeze. “Enough fun at poor Kel’s expense. Now, I’m going to make it up to him specifically, and send us all off in style with that final musical treat I teased earlier. My lovely Naomi and our resident Scotswoman, Shannon, are going to take us back to a simpler time.” He paused as a screen lowered behind him and lit up with a scene from the 1954 classic White Christmas where the orchestra conductor at Novello’s cabaret turns to his audience and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Haynes Sisters.”
The movie became muted as music swelled from the ballroom’s audio system. James ushered a bewildered Kellan off to the side as Naomi and Shannon stepped through the stage curtain. Both were nearly completely obscured by massive red and white trimmed feather fans. Kellan glanced to James and said, “How in hell did you persuade Shannon to do this?”
James barked a short laugh, “Have you met your girlfriend? Nobody persuades her of anything. She persuaded Naomi.”
“But she hasn’t even seen the movie—”
“That you know of…now shut up.”
The two women lowered the fans and their perfectly harmonized voices joined the rising music.
Sisters, sisters
There were never such devoted sisters
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir
I'm here to keep my eye on her…
Shannon and Naomi continued on with their song and dance, almost perfectly synchronized with their Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen counterparts on the screen. The holiday crowd expressed its appreciation with various applause, whistles, and whoops. For his part, Kellan felt himself shaking his head in complete bemusement for at least the third time as the two women closed ranks for the final chorus.
Lord, help the mister who comes between me and my sister
And Lord, help the sister who comes between me and my man
Sisters, sisters
Sister, don't come between me and my man
As if on cue, when the last note faded and the two women executed perfectly choreographed curtsies, six blood red portals rotated into existence throughout the ballroom.
Chapter 19
A Child Of Amber Light
Five demonic figures stepped from the portals in a “V” formation and Kellan felt massive Chaotic energies warp time all around them. From the sixth portal, stepped a safely ensconced Maurius.
“Morpheus, take them,” he yelled.
The foremost demon, created a complex red glyph in the air faster than Kellan’s eyes could track, then gestured outwardly. The glyph shattered into dozens of exact duplicates which shot forward into the crowd. While the time distortion created by Maurius prevented any of the assembled humans or vampires from reacting, Kellan, Shannon, Ares, and Meghan were already moving.
Kellan’s eyes burst to life as he sent a tendril of energy into a glyph just before it struck Juliet. When the Ordered power touched the Chaotic symbol, it puffed away into motes of violet light. Kellan simultaneously snapped a shield around Juliet and directed a column of air at the young woman. She was hurled backward toward the stage and he wrapped her in a gravity bubble which caused her to land softly far from the ensuing conflict.
Even bending time as he was, Kellan could do nothing further before the remaining glyphs washed through the crowd. His eyes widened in fear at the soft sound made by dozens of people collapsing unconscious to the floor. In the span of that frozen moment, only the six of them remained standing. As the time distortion faded, Ah’Anon and Mircalla blinked, taking in the scene. While the vampires were clearly susceptible to Maurius’ temporal disruption, their undead natures apparently protected them from the sleep glyph sent forth by Morpheus.
The six of them closed ranks and Kellan felt power flood from him as Shannon’s hand touched his. He sensed her emotions as they crashed into him. Oh, she is pissed, thought Kellan, then a moment later, added, Good! The young Sentinel needed no mystic connection with Ares or Meghan to assess their mood. The god of war had fully manifested, his casual clothes having given way to gleaming brown and gold armor. The facing rams heads on his chest seemed to almost pulse with the same anger that radiated from Ares’ face. Meghan’s eyes were a twin to his and her massive black shadow-wings stretched outward to partially encircle them both.
Kellan drew on his emerald river and tensed to move, but felt a restraining hand on his shoulder as Ares brushed past him, Meghan by his side.
“Sentinel of Chaos,” he boomed, “What is the meaning of this!” The phalanx of demons took a step backward and closed on each other to create a tighter formation.
Maurius smiled amiably at the Mantel of War causing the scars left by his last encounter with Kellan to twist grotesquely along the left side of his face. “Ares, I hold no animus toward you. Please, feel free to depart. You may even take your pet Nephilim with you.”
Meghan growled, “This pet’s going to tear your throat out,” and tried to move past Ares, but he stretched out his left arm, restraining her.
“Maurius, this is just not done. To attack a gathering of mortals is unconscionable under normal circumstances let alone when they have gathered in celebration. As the Mantel of War, you know I am a neutral party in your—”
The elder Sentinel laughed cutting Ares off and he waved a hand to encompass both Meghan and Kellan. “Do you think me a fool, Ares? You may have once been neutral but no longer.”
“War is of Order and Chaos,” objected Ares. “I cannot be of one without the other.”
Maurius took a step toward Morpheus and stood beside the winged demon. He narrowed his eyes at Ares. “Your mind and body may be of both, but your heart is hers,” he said pointing to Meghan, then added, “and she is his.” Maurius nearly spit the last word out as he glared at Kellan.
A gladius formed from amber mist and fell into Ares outstretched hand as he pointed to the Sentinel of Chaos. “Stop this now, Maurius, or make an enemy of me forever.”
“Forever may not be as long as you think,” replied the Sentinel of Chaos, “The Mantel of War rested on someone before Trajan took it up and will someday rest on another. Perhaps that day is today.”
Kellan saw Ares’ jaw clench and felt the wild Universal power gather around him as Meghan glanced up, eyes alight.
Here we go, thought Kellan and felt Shannon’s acknowledgement as all hell proceeded to break loose.
Ares slammed the flat side of his gladius against the ram’s heads and a blast of amber energy radiated outward. It formed a concussive blast, hurling the demons backward several paces before they regained their composure and leaned into it. Meghan slammed her shadow-wings together and two feathers broke free, floating down until she grasped them, one in each hand. As she did so, they solidified into gleaming obsidian daggers. With a final look to Ares, she launched herself at the nearest demon and yelled “Yippie-ki-ya, Motherfuckers!”
Shannon slipped a dagger from her sleeve and slid it along the length of her dress in a fluid motion. She stepped forward as it fell to the ground and glanced over to Kellan with a sly expression. She now wore nothing but a matching set of red under-garments including garters which each held a daunting number of throwing knives.
Kellan was so impressed that despite the mortal danger in which he and his friends found themselves, the young Sentinel’s libido forced him to make a mental note of the Soulborn as she launched herself fearlessly into the fray.
Bolts of red energy arced across the room and Kellan barely manifested his Sentinel’s sword in time to deflect them. Kellan looked around wildly and found Maurius staring at him with three of the demons surr
ounding the Sentinel of Chaos in a defensive posture. The older Sentinel seemed to be looking over Kellan’s left shoulder and a shiver ran down his spine as he started to turn around sensing the danger. The demon’s arm was already on it’s downward stroke toward Kellan’s exposed back when Ah’Anon deflected the blow. The ancient vampire pulsed with a red and amber aura as it struggled with the demon. No glamor remained and his pale skin looked dry as parchment. The Vampire’s cracked pale lips pulled back over his fangs as they sought the demon’s exposed throat. Ah’Anon had once described how Vampire strength grew in direct proportion to their years as undead. Kellan had never fully appreciated it until now as his friend’s nearly five millennia of existence fueled his attack.
“Mircalla?” cried Kellan in alarm as he looked around for the Vampire Queen. She was in no condition to fight given the rapid gestation of their baby.
“Safe, with Juliet,” came Ah’Anon’s strained response. “Your assistance would be most appreciated here, Sentinel.”
Kellan needed no encouragement on that score. He channeled power into his legs and kicked out at the demon. It stumbled backward as multiple bolts of lightning struck it from manifested clouds. The young Sentinel leaped into the air and brought his sword down trying to cleave the demon from shoulder to waist, but his sword glanced off boney plates of armor that resisted his attack.
“Sentinel-Kellan, I have scanned all these creatures and their outer defenses are quite new. I believe they are only weeks if not days old. Their harmonic resonance is almost exactly opposite that of your energy patterns.”
Kellan had reshaped his sword into a gleaming green dagger and tried to drive it into the demon’s neck, but it just skittered to the side. “English, Jarvis!” he screamed.
“It will be hard to kill them.”
“No shit! English and helpful would be nice.”
“You must weaken the outer protections with something other than Ordered power. I suggest you channel the Universal energies we experienced in the void.”
Sentinels of Creation: A Wizard's Soul Page 25