by Jeff Rivera
“You gotta jab,” Dio said, throwing a punch at the wall. “You gotta—” but Dio’s fist went right through the plaster wall. Simon gasped.
“My bad,” Dio said, cracking a smile.
He peered through the hole and could see right through to the other end of the laundry building.
“Senior Jackson wants us to head out.”
Simon and Dio turned around. Grossaint was behind them, with an evil grin on his face. He just looked at them, like he was up to something.
“He’s going to tell. He’s going to tell,” Simon whispered.
“Chill. I’ll handle it.”
But he didn’t tell. Two days went by and he still hadn’t said anything. Dio wondered what he might be up to.
Dear Jennifer,
Thanks a lot for taking care of my little brother. I know he’s in good hands now and I’m not so worried about him anymore.
Tease him about having a girlfriend for me won’t you? He’s always been volado. I remember being that age. He’s going to be a player just like his big brother. I don’t need to be a player no more. I got you.
As far as my mom, I couldn’t give a I don’t care about her. She tried to send me a letter but I threw it away didn’t even bother opening it. What’s she going to say that she hasn’t already? It’s all a bunch of bullshit anyway.
She always talks about quitting. This is no different. I think it’s a bunch of pendejadas that she thinks she’ll actually make it through. If it was up to me, I’d say she wasn’t ever fit to be a mother. She was always thinking about herself. She’ll be partying ’til the day she dies. She’d much rather be with her friends than raising us. She’s always been like that. She’ll always be.
Hey I was telling the guys here about you. They think I’m a tapado. I showed them the pictures I’ve drawn of you and they think I’m making you up. They say it’s cause I talk about you like you’re an angel or something and I tell them you are my angel.
Hang in there with your mom. I know it’s not easy for you but just keep thinking about your sueños and keep thinking about how great it’ll be when I’m out and I’m going to get a real job and I’m going to fix up a place for both of us and neither one of us will have to put up with any bullshit anymore.
Hope you feel better soon cause Visitor’s Day’s coming up again next week and I hope you can make it. Maybe that social worker guy you were talking about can take you. And can you bring Daniel with you too? I’d love to see him. I’d love to see both of you.
Love,
Dio aka Playboy
Patter-patter-boom. Patter-patter-boom. A smile curved up on Dio’s face as he listened to the rhythmic beat of someone drumming in the pantry. Whoever it was was good, real good. Dio’s jaw dropped as he turned the corner into the pantry and saw Simon pounding a real mean beat on the boxes. He froze as he saw Dio.
“Damn!” Dio said, smiling, “I didn’t know you were a drummer.”
Simon smiled bashfully. “Just something I do when I’m bored.”
Dio snatched the carrot sticks from his hands. “How long you’ve played percussion?”
“I was in band in the sixth grade. It was the one thing I was good at. First time I ever found people I liked to hang with.”
“You ought to do it for a living.”
Simon smiled. “Thought about it. Dreamed about it, actually.”
“Why don’t you do it? I’m serious. Soon as we get out, I’ll introduce you to my lady. She’s going to need a drummer in her band, I’m sure of it.”
“For real?”
“For real, man. And you got the skills.”
“You think?”
“Man, would I say it if I didn’t?”
Then a sadness came into Simon’s eyes. “My parents would never allow it.”
“Who cares what they think? When’s your birthday?”
“Next December.”
“You’ll be eighteen next December. You’ll be an adult. They can’t tell you what to do then.”
Simon smiled. “I like the way you think, Dio. You’re lucky, you know. You got so much.”
“You’re the one with the money.”
“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about . . . I mean, look at you. You got the girl. You got the confidence. You got balls. You can talk to anybody. I’ve always been too black for the Latinos and too Latino for the blacks. I just never fit in.”
“You gotta strut, ése. One thing I learned is that God made you just the way you’re supposed to be. He don’t make no mistakes. He made you half Mexican, half black for a reason. You got the beats from the black side, didn’t you? You got the wavy hair from the Latino side. Soon as your zits clear up, you’ll have all the ladies after you.”
Simon nodded. Then he snapped out of the funk he was in and his eyes lit up. “So, I thought of something, some way we could get back at Grossaint.”
“Again? What?”
“What we do is when he’s in the shower next time and nobody else is around, we lock him in there and soap up the handles and the floors so he falls on his ass.”
Dio cracked up until he realized Simon was serious.
“Man, why do you always need me to carry out your plans? You’re the one that thought of that whole dog-shit-in-the-shoe thing. Why don’t you do it sometime?”
Simon looked at the floor, “’Cause . . . you’re my boy, ain’t you? ’Sides, I’m not good at carrying things out. You are.”
Grossaint was gaining on him. They were neck and neck up the ropes. Dio couldn’t even hear all the cheers and hoopla from the squad. He was in the zone. He eyed Grossaint as he touched the top, but Grossaint was already on his way down.
Dio’s hands burned as he slid down the rope and landed with a thud. He looked over at Grossaint, who was already steps ahead of him, and there was no way in hell he was going to let him beat him. Dio burned rubber.
They were again neck and neck, just a hundred feet from the finish, when Dio went into second gear and beat Grossaint by a nose hair. He raised his arms in the air and jumped up and down.
Jackson couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Had trouble with that hurdle back there, didn’t ya, Radigez?”
“Sir, yes, sir,” Dio answered, out of breath.
“Well, ya gotta lift that leg, like I keep tellin’ ya.”
“Sir, yes, sir. I know, sir.”
Grossaint glared as Jackson rubbed Dio on the head. “Good job,” he added.
Dio looked at Grossaint. He looked lost and alone. Hardly anyone was paying attention to him at all. And for the first time since he arrived in camp, Dio felt sorry for him. Dio made his way over to him and extended his hand.
“Nice job, Grossaint,” he offered.
But Grossaint just glared at him and walked off.
“Well, don’t blame me,” Grossaint said, as he walked back to the hooch with Franklin and his boys. “If y’all had pulled together on your end, we wouldn’t have lost. My dad always said, ‘You gotta be the best. This world ain’t meant for losers.’”
“Dude, I did pull together. You’re the one that let the fuckin’ wetback win again,” Franklin said.
“Yeah, well, he cheated again,” Grossaint answered.
“You faggot,” Franklin said under his breath.
Grossaint shoved him against a wall and pinned him on the ground, his fist in the air.
“I ain’t a fuckin’ faggot.”
Franklin had terror on his face. “Dude, I was just jokin’. I’m sorry.”
The guys had to pry Grossaint off him. Grossaint looked dazed as he realized what he had done. His fist trembled. He lowered it and loosened his grip on Franklin. “I’m . . . I didn’t mean it.”
But Franklin was too busy wiping his bloody nose.
“Brothers?” Grossaint said.
Franklin couldn’t even look at him.
“Come on, man. We’re still brothers, right?”
“That was not cool.”
“Dude,
come on. We’re still brothers. Say we’re still brothers. Come on . . . I just, sometimes, sometimes something happens in me and I just . . . sometimes my mind tells me to do things, and I have to fight, fight real hard not to do them. Know what I mean?”
Franklin looked at him strangely as Grossaint’s eyes started to twitch. Then Grossaint started hitting himself on the head real hard. “Stop, stop, stop. I try, man. I try real hard.” His eyes started to water. “But it just gets real bad sometimes, my mind, things it tells me to do. Sometimes I think I’m going to go nuts. Know what I mean? You gotta understand. We’re still brothers, right? Right?”
“Yeah . . . yeah,” Franklin said, still looking oddly at Grossaint.
“Can we keep it quiet down here?” Jackson asked the crowd of visitors.
Dio stood in line all alone. Everyone had guests except him; even Simon had a guest.
Simon’s mom had shown up. She was a beautiful Latina woman, one of those high-society types. She looked at everyone like she was too good to be sitting in the same room and breathing the same air. She was wearing some fancy suit by Chanel or Gucci or one of those fancy labels and her hair looked like she had just stepped out of the most expensive salon in the city.
She was probably the most serious person in the entire room. Dio couldn’t make out what she was saying to Simon, but he could tell he didn’t like it. Every time he tried to say something his mom would cut him off. He swore he heard Simon say, “It’s not fair!” but he couldn’t be sure.
Grossaint was overwhelmed by all his foster brothers and sisters. It was what Louise would have called ironic, Dio thought, because not one white kid was among them. Grossaint’s foster brothers and sisters were all black and Asian and some were even retarded. Even his foster parents were complete yuppies, not the type of parents Dio would ever imagine for Grossaint. He had to chuckle a little as Grossaint kept trying to push the little rug rats away from him.
But, more than anything, Dio was sad because Jennifer hadn’t shown up like he had asked her to. He knew she wasn’t feeling up to it, but he really wanted to see her and he really wanted to see his little brother. He’d hoped she would have gotten somebody to bring her and drop her off or something. There was no way she got the letter too late or something, or got the dates mixed up again, not two times in a row. She simply had decided not to come—that had to be it. Louise always said to give people the benefit of the doubt. Well, Dio was getting tired of doing that, tired of being patient with people. What about him? What about his feelings?
“Women don’t make no sense,” Dio told Louise. “One minute they up, next minute they not. You tell them their dress looks fly, then they wonder why you didn’t comment on their shoes.”
Louise laughed. “Touché,” she said, “but men aren’t any easier. Trust me on that.”
She could see that Dio wasn’t laughing, so she put her hand on his shoulder. “You have to understand the makeup of a woman. She needs understanding. She needs to know that she’s secure. That’s just the way that we are. Can’t help it. Nothing makes us feel more up than knowing our man’s there for us no matter what, even when we don’t make any sense.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Try to see it through Jennifer’s point of view. She just got out of the hospital. She’s dealing with her mother and all the problems that go along with mother-daughter relationships. She just got shot, and if you’re honest with yourself, you’d have to take some responsibility for that.”
“I know,” Dio admitted.
“So she’s probably reevaluating her life. I believe that connection’s real, the one that you told me you have with her. And I’m sure she feels it, too, but she’s going to be eighteen soon and there are a lot of decisions she’s going to have to make from this point on.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He hated to admit that she was right, but it was true. He just wanted her so bad and wanted her to feel all the things he was feeling. Whenever she didn’t show up or didn’t answer a letter right away, it just made him question whether she was feeling for him the way he was feeling for her. He hated the thought of ever losing her. And he didn’t like the idea of seeing her go after all these years. They had been through so much together.
Dio thought back to the night when he made that stupid decision that set everything into motion. He was sleeping peacefully in his room when he heard this tap! tap! tap! Dio woke up from his deep slumber and looked out the window to see Jennifer, tapping on his window. He sprang up and opened the window.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
He took her hand and helped her through the window. Her mascara was running and she was in tears. She couldn’t talk for at least ten minutes as he held her close, sobbing. He could see she had a big black eye.
“Wiggie do that to you?”
“I told him I was done. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore. I told him how I had just got ahold of my parents and that I was trying to clean up my life, and he . . . just didn’t like what I had to say.”
Jennifer had just reached out to her parents after Dio’s urging that she try to give them another chance. Family was important, and maybe they had changed after all these years. He was right. They welcomed her into their home with open arms and happy tears. It was nice to see Jennifer happy again. She had made the first step in turning her life around. He knew they wouldn’t allow her to move back in unless she became a religious fanatic like them, but at least they let her in the house.
Rage filled Dio. He was about to break through the door and go after Wiggie when Jennifer pleaded with him.
“No, please don’t. Stay with me tonight. Just hold me.”
It surprised Dio. Jennifer never was the needy type. He loved being with her and loved holding her, but she’d always been so feisty, an “I-don’t-need-no-man” type. So he knew if she was asking him to hold her, it had to be serious. It took him a long time to calm down. He did hold her all night, but his mind was on Wiggie and what he was going to do to him once he got hold of him.
“Hello! Hello, Earth to Dio,” Louise blurted out, waving in front of Dio’s face. “I said did you read any of the book I gave you?”
Dio’s eyes lit up. “Yeah. They’re not bad.”
“See? I told you. Which one was your favorite?”
“All of them, pretty much. I’ve heard her talk on TV once, Maya Angelou, and I felt like I could hear her speaking while I was reading it.”
As Dio worked at cleaning out the grease traps, he noticed Louise had a permanent grin on her face.
“Whatchew smiling about?” Dio asked.
She just kept on working. “I’m not smiling.”
“Yes, you are. You were smiling from ear to ear.”
“I was not,” she said, trying to hide her grin. She got back to work, but then couldn’t help herself. She had to say something. “I looked him up yesterday.”
“Who?” Then it dawned on Dio. “That guy. That guy you loved.”
“Well, I was just curious. You know, wondering how he was doing after all these years.”
“How’d you find him?”
“Let’s just say it helps to have friends that work at the DMV.”
“What’d he say? What’d he say?”
She was grinning so hard that she looked ready to bust.
“He was real nice. It was like old times. We talked and talked and talked. Must have spent two hours on the phone.”
“Two hours? Simón. See? That’s the guy you supposed to be with, not some fuckhead.”
“Watch your language. He’s not a fuckhead. He’s just . . . not always so easy to deal with. And besides, me and Sam are just friends. Just friends . . .” she said, staring off into the distance dreamily. “I think it’s true, Dio. Sometimes it seems like maybe once in your life you’ll meet that special somebody.”
She laughed.
“He wants to take me to some club, La Soolsuh or something like that.”
“La Salsa? I k
now where that is. He’s taking you to a Latin club?”
“He says there’s dancing and things. I’ll just watch. Sounds exciting. He’s divorced, too. I mean, I’m not divorced, but you know, he’s . . . we’re both available right now.”
Louise was lost in her thoughts, looking nervous. “I ought to just cancel. It’s too soon. I’m not even officially separated yet.”
“But you want to go, right?”
“I’m not ready. And my hair . . . I’ve got nothing to wear . . . and my teeth. He’s never seen me looking this awful. Who’d want me?”
“Don’t talk like that. I think you’re beautiful.”
“You do not. Stop that.”
“You are. You can fix your hair. I know a lady downtown that does hair. She could fix you up real good. Just tell her you’re my friend. She’s cheap, too. And you can get a good outfit at Target or Savers or something. Probably only cost you like twenty bucks.”
She looked at him endearingly, then she touched her hand to her mouth and her eyes started to water.
“But my teeth,” she cried.
She sobbed, and Dio didn’t know what to do. He came over to her and let her put her head on his shoulder. He made her look at him.
“You are beautiful, Louise. He don’t see that, then he ain’t worth your time.”
She laughed through her tears, then sucked them up. “I can’t do none of those Latin dances.”
Dio turned the radio to a station that was playing Spanish music.
“I’ll show you. Put your right arm out and your hand on my shoulder. This is merengue.”
She shuffled and tripped through the first few steps, but then she started getting the hang of it.
“My mother may not have been good for much, but she did teach me to dance. Taught me all the traditional Mexican and Latino dances when I was little.”
Louise smiled. “I like this. This is fun. Been years since I danced with a man.” She laughed nervously. “You’re probably the first person I’ve ever spent any time with that never asked me how I lost my teeth.”